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Parents of children with special needs

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51

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 10 August 2011 - 09:40

agree Manufan (looking forward to the start of the season:)) & Wuffles but 'special' needs is thought more PC than disabled these days - I personally tell anyone who asks that my DD has learning difficulties, it certainly is harder to explain to people when the child looks perfectly normal but has emotional, behaviour, social & mental abilities of someone a lot younger. Off in search of Jodi Picoults book today

1996

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 09 August 2011 - 23:17

To CRX2 and wuffles I have had a bit of exposure with special needs children on a vounteer basis,and can honestly say they touched my heart in such a way that no other has. My heart aches for the plight of those with special needs who just want to fit in with others of their own age. I can only imagine how hard it can be for the whole family, especially moms as we instinctively just want to protect our children, I commend you both.As CRx2 said hopefully society will become more and more accepting in the future. There is a reason we use the term SPECIAL needs, it is because they are SPECIAL. On the contrary, I disagree with the term 'special'. Some people have 'different' needs and I think this is a fairer description because in my opinion everyone is special in their own way edited by manufan on 09/08/2011 To be honest DS hates being called special-it gets him quite worked up-also hates the label disabled-prefers to be thought of as someone living with a disability (if he needs to defne his condition for work etc)

179

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 09 August 2011 - 22:29

And better to lead a different life than no life at all. I am against abortion.

179

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 09 August 2011 - 22:27

To CRX2 and wuffles I have had a bit of exposure with special needs children on a vounteer basis,and can honestly say they touched my heart in such a way that no other has. My heart aches for the plight of those with special needs who just want to fit in with others of their own age. I can only imagine how hard it can be for the whole family, especially moms as we instinctively just want to protect our children, I commend you both.As CRx2 said hopefully society will become more and more accepting in the future. There is a reason we use the term SPECIAL needs, it is because they are SPECIAL. On the contrary, I disagree with the term 'special'. Some people have 'different' needs and I think this is a fairer description because in my opinion everyone is special in their own way <em>edited by manufan on 09/08/2011</em>

51

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 09 August 2011 - 22:17

bless you Nomad it certainly does make our lives more happy with people like you in it :)

1996

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 09 August 2011 - 20:57

To CRX2 and wuffles I have had a bit of exposure with special needs children on a vounteer basis,and can honestly say they touched my heart in such a way that no other has. My heart aches for the plight of those with special needs who just want to fit in with others of their own age. I can only imagine how hard it can be for the whole family, especially moms as we instinctively just want to protect our children, I commend you both.As CRx2 said hopefully society will become more and more accepting in the future. There is a reason we use the term SPECIAL needs, it is because they are SPECIAL. A big thank-you to those who volunteer so selflessly too-they make the load easier to bear-don't know how I would have managed over the years without them-some have become lifelong friends too <em>edited by wuffles on 09/08/2011</em>

1601

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 09 August 2011 - 20:30

To CRX2 and wuffles I have had a bit of exposure with special needs children on a vounteer basis,and can honestly say they touched my heart in such a way that no other has. My heart aches for the plight of those with special needs who just want to fit in with others of their own age. I can only imagine how hard it can be for the whole family, especially moms as we instinctively just want to protect our children, I commend you both.As CRx2 said hopefully society will become more and more accepting in the future. There is a reason we use the term SPECIAL needs, it is because they are SPECIAL.

1996

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 09 August 2011 - 19:58

Oh Wuffles it's true these children are really special in their own ways, often showing great empathy for other like my little one - it's hard tho when they excluded by their peers without really knowing the reasons why. Mine has discovered playing with children half her age means they don't pick up on her problems and she feels comfortable - I don't know what will happen in the next 10, 20, 30 years - hopefully society will become more & more accepting ... Oddly-I think DS feels happiest with old people-they accept him as he is without question. His peers often see him as lazy which infuriates him (but you try putting in a full day's work after 3 days of no sleep and hardly any food!)-he is highly intelligent which in some ways makes his limitations even more frustrating to him.

51

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 09 August 2011 - 19:35

Oh Wuffles it's true these children are really special in their own ways, often showing great empathy for other like my little one - it's hard tho when they excluded by their peers without really knowing the reasons why. Mine has discovered playing with children half her age means they don't pick up on her problems and she feels comfortable - I don't know what will happen in the next 10, 20, 30 years - hopefully society will become more & more accepting ...

1996

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 09 August 2011 - 00:17

I have read the book-bought up some interesting issues-Oprah did a show sometime back asking parents of severely disabled the same question-very moving and a bit close to home. I am against abortion so before my DS was born would not have entertained the thought.He spent his first 2 years in hospital -at the time his sister was 16 months old and had never been left alone without me for a day.He has a very rare syndrome but to outsders looks pretty normal. Children with this sort of hidden disability have a very tough road to follow as they get no special consideration from those who don't know them-and even those who do tend to forget how tough life can be. DS can eat very little and often only sleeps 2 hours a night so his concentration is negligable-even though his teachers knew his background there patience wore thin and gave DS a rotten time. His friends often exclude him-especially from parties where food is involved.There have been many times he himself has questioned whether he was better off surviving-and e still has intemittent treatment for depression. He is a beautiful person with incredible empathy for others and has just completed a degree in Social and Community Welfare. He spent 6 months working on a voluntary breakfast programme working with the homeless and loved it. However due to his health issues he may never work full time and is entering the stage where friends are marrying and he obviously sn't seen as very "marketable' as husband material-a fact he is just realising. Would I have had him knowing what I do-yes-does he agree?-at 23 the jury is still out.

51

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 08 August 2011 - 22:51

Many thanks for the post Shaf I really love Jodi Picoult's books, I haven't read this one - will have a look for it. My 1st born has special needs (although to most people it's not very obvious) it was down to a very long labour & bad birth. It certainly is hard work and sometimes very depressing, not to mention extremely embarrassing & even more so very expensive. I know with help this child will lead a fairly normal life but if it had been a generic disability or malformed baby in the womb I know I would have chosen not to have it :(

51

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 08 August 2011 - 22:51

Many thanks for the post Shaf I really love Jodi Picoult's books, I haven't read this one - will have a look for it. My 1st born has special needs (although to most people it's not very obvious) it was down to a very long labour & bad birth. It certainly is hard work and sometimes very depressing, not to mention extremely embarrassing & even more so very expensive. I know with help this child will lead a fairly normal life but if it had been a generic disability or malformed baby in the womb I know I would have chosen not to have it :(

429

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EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 08 August 2011 - 22:19

I read this book that really disturbed me. It was about a child who was born with a medical condition that left her dependent on a carer forever. The story dealt with the mother;s emotions, how it feels, etc etc and a legal case on wrongful birth. Anyways, long story short, i wanted to know what real mothers thought. So please note, my aim is not to offend anyone, so if i type out the question wrongly, forgive me. I know once a child is born, disabled or not, we cant stop loving them. But I just want to know, if you knew your child had a disability/special need/handicap, a severe one that would require the child to need special care for the rest of her life, early death, etc.. would you abort it? I mean, if you already knew when the child was in the womb that there is a problem, would u go ahead and have it? Considering also, that you already have one or more other kids. Oh and the book i read was "Handle With Care" Jodi Picoult.

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