How unsupportive!! | ExpatWoman.com
 

How unsupportive!!

1861
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 20 June 2011 - 12:47
DH knows better than to say something so stupid and insensitive like that, but if he did, he'd be told where to go in a manner I dare not repeat! Seriously though, it's actually very common for couples - even in strong relationships - to have a rocky time after the birth of a baby (especially the first) because everyone is getting used to their new roles and the new focus. You may find that there are some very strong emotions at play - jealousy (of your relationship with the baby), anger (about either party not understanding how difficult "it" is), guilt, low confidence (translating into guilt or anger)... The best and only thing to do is talk opening and regularly about how you are both feeling. It's so easy to get caught up in being parents that you forget completely that you're also a couple. His comment about your size may "just" (nothing's "just" post-partum!) be a nasty, childish dig at the fact that you're no longer exclusively his object of desire. Ultimately, he's got to come to terms with it (can't put bubs back and pretend it never happened!), but you both have to manage expectations (9 months on, 9 months off) and make sure the problem doesn't get worse (the problem isn't your size - it's the psychological element of being a couple). I hope this makes sense.
2782
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 20 June 2011 - 10:05
It definitely was 9 months on 9 months off for me, and I actually gained the first few months. Your husband is being an @ss, but he is probably sleep deprived and still spinning at being a new dad. Ignore him or tell him that babies need a snuggly mum and that he is hurting your feelings. Men are reasonably stupid and sometimes you need to tell them what you need from them. <em>edited by kiwispiers on 20/06/2011</em>
157
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 20 June 2011 - 09:13
Big hugs Leen. Someone once said to me "9 months on, 9 months off" I hope he's being supportive otherwise.
5452
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 20 June 2011 - 06:40
I'd probably have filed for divorce if my DH had said that to me!!
327
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 20 June 2011 - 01:52
Hhmmm, 5 weeks? Best to just try to let that go through to the keeper - or beat him senseless of course. Men can be sooooooo out of touch with reality it astonishes me!
504
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EW GURU
Latest post on 19 June 2011 - 23:48
How are things between you otherwise? was he supportive during the pregnancy? is he generally loving?
587
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EW GURU
Latest post on 19 June 2011 - 23:42
I'm speechless! If my DH ever said something like that to me, after I have popped out his his 3.7kg DD and 4.4kg DS, he would certainly be in the doghouse for a very long time. Perhaps he is seeking some attention from you, but is going the wrong way about it!
38
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 19 June 2011 - 23:23
OMG poor you. Tell him it takes 9 months to grow a baby and it takes 9 months for your body to totally get back to how it was before. Whenever you have those feelings just look at your precious baby and you will know it so worthwhile
62
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 19 June 2011 - 23:00
My baby is 5 weeks old and my hubby keeps commenting on how FAT i look (am)! I am very sad/angry/frustrated. :(
 
 

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