Nanny or Nursery?

I was also confused. To clarify initial cost for us was 5K for the sponsorship and then other costs associated with employment (total of this was under 1K). Then, on top, you pay a monthly salary. Airfare for us was under 3K.

Ladybird, you seemed confused in your earlier comment: [i'>Lil-Z - to be honest I've only ask a couple of nurseries, one is located in the DIFC which was about 8 - 10 thousand for twins pm and another one I found was in Festival City which is 5 500 pm. By what M has just said, it almost seems like nurseries will be a bit cheaper,[/i'> Wouldnt the cost of a live-in nanny be less than nursery? If nursery is 5 - 10k pm, a nanny is the initial 10k sponsorship costs, plus her monthly salary/food/annual flight ticket/health insurance.. over a 12 month period, a nanny would be considerably less? Well, I had the same doubt when I saw LB's reply; but then I thought maybe am missing something.

Ladybird, you seemed confused in your earlier comment: [i'>Lil-Z - to be honest I've only ask a couple of nurseries, one is located in the DIFC which was about 8 - 10 thousand for twins pm and another one I found was in Festival City which is 5 500 pm. By what M has just said, it almost seems like nurseries will be a bit cheaper,[/i'> Wouldnt the cost of a live-in nanny be less than nursery? If nursery is 5 - 10k pm, a nanny is the initial 10k sponsorship costs, plus her monthly salary/food/annual flight ticket/health insurance.. over a 12 month period, a nanny would be considerably less?

hi ladybird, congrats! just wanted to add my thoughts, as a working mum (also out of necessity!) i have 2 boys, 2 & 3, so close in age. We had the same debate you had, and ended up chosing nursery, as i would much rather my LO be with trained people, especially in first aid, in the event of something happening. we did also hire a helper, as if your LOs fall sick, then you are in a really tough position if you have to keep taking time off. I dont buy the 'if the go to nursery they'll always be ill' theory, mine did well, and have built up their immune system ahead of going to big school. if your child is going to fall ill, he can just as easily catch a bug in a mall, playgroup etc as at nursery the most important thing is to chose a nursery that will follow your routines, and is really an all year round nuresery, and has the ability to take them all day. what i did with both kids is supply my own travel cot, with bedding and sleeping bag for them to sleep in, so that i alsways knew they were sleeping properly, hence a nursery's sleep facilities are really important at a young age. i know the nursery in DFIC, my first went there for a while. good for small babies, but THE most expensive out there!! where do you live and work? we are in AR, i work in DIFC, and we have chosen to send ours to Blossom Village, because we felt that was the best option for our kids. definitely not the most convenient in terms of proximity, but the kids are happy there. another solution if you do hire a helper, is to put them in mornings only, then nip out to take them home in your lunchbreak, then they can have a good sleep/play/have tea with your helper at home. lots to think about, good luck!

Hi ladybird14 If I recall correctly, the sponsorship cost us 5K as her previous sponsorship was cancelled (I think it is cheaper if there is a transfer). There were other associated costs, such as getting her a health care card, the blood test and an Emirates ID card. The flight return home is on top of any salary you pay. Under the labour contracts which are issued now, the rules stipulate that the employee is entitled to annual leave and a flight home after one year of service. You can decide if you grant her this during the first year of service or afterwards. If you decide to terminate her contract after a year, you still have to pay her out for airfares and holiday pay. I don't know what the annual sponsorship fee is after the first year but assume it is a standard flat rate of 5K? You can call the Ministry of Labour to find out, I believe they have a dedicated support line to answer queries about home helpers. If you have a live out nanny, you should factor in about 800 dirhams extra per month for housing allowance which you would not ordinarily have to pay if your nanny lived with you. But then if she lived with you, you would pay for her food, all fees associated with her living with you etc. There are agencies out there who can help you with all of this but they charge a premium of course. Why not ask your or your husband's HR dept / PRO to organise it? If the person is going under your sponsorship, and if you are sponsored by an employer, you may be able to get the company PRO to arrange for you? We did and it saved us time and hassle. Finally, in terms of finding someone trustworthy - I too had this as a concern. The interview obviously gives you a good impression - try to come up with a list of behavioural style questions, ie "what would you do in this situation" etc to gauge her ability to think on her feet and in a logical manner. Check references and when you do, ask about what she did well and what her shortcomings were. Finally, I would recommend offering some form of a financial reward associated with her performance. We agreed to give our nanny a pay rise after six months of service if she was doing a good job and to build trust, we also gave her a holiday home even though she had not completed a year of service. We also pay her slightly higher than other nannies. Although I am at work and cannot keep an eye on her, I have popped home un-announced on occasion and have also asked other mums I know in our area for their views on how she is with our child when at the local park etc ... so far so good and I continue to keep my fingers crossed. I'm sure you'll get some additional tips on the Maids forum here. But give the classifieds a go and don't give up if you don't get the right candidates, keep looking until you find the right person. Advertise early as maids/nannies usually start looking around 8 weeks in advance of their current employment contract expiring (according to my nanny). Oh, and you can always ask your friends or other mums here as to whether their nannies/maids know of anyone looking for a new role. I've made a few connections this way too. Let me know if you want to chat further offline : ) take care M

Hi LB, am guessing a nursery is much more expensive than the figures you've quotes for a nanny below. However I'd be interested to know opinions of lovely ladies here

Have you thought about trying to re-arrange your working hours so little ones would have shorter days if you did put them in nursery? This is what worked for us in the end. DH and i were also distrustful of anyone in our house one on one with our little bundle, so we decided early on the nursery route worked better for us. The nursery we chose has a ratio of 1:2 in the baby room, we met the teachers, assistants and nannies beforehand, and watched them interact. We have a very open dialogue with DD's teacher, they follow our routine, and make suggestions if they feel changes are needed. We very much work together. That being said, we didn't start DD until she was 6 months, and even then i went back part time for two months, so she was in 4 hours a day, and now start early and finish early to collect her at 3pm. It must be a much harder decision with an 8 week old. DD DID get sick a fair bit in the beginning, but is now 16 months and is hardly ever unwell. She loves nursery, and is a very confident and happy little girl. At the end of the day you have to decide what works best for you. Good luck with your decision.

I also wanted to put my baby in a nursery or with a live-out nanny, but later I realized the best thing is a live-in, a good one!. I got a nice nanny. If you put the baby in a nursery the baby wont have the 1-1 care that is needed at such young age, plus you have to come home to clean and cook, my nanny does everything for me, so I can spend time with my baby when I reach home, or she can stay with him if I have to quickly go somewhere.

Hi - I was in your shoes 12 months ago as I was expecting my first baby in June and had to go back to work by September. As a pretty pragmatic and no-nonsense type of person (and also someone who had never been around babies), I really believed I would be better off putting our baby into nursery from the moment I returned to work and that baby would just have to get used to it and adjust etc. However, did I get the shock of my life when DD finally arrived. It quickly became apparent to both hubby and me that we could not leave an infant so young within a centre where the ratio of carers to babies is 1 carer for every 3 babies. For us, we could not trust that the nursery would follow the routine or schedule we established for our DD in the way in which we wanted if they had two other babies to look after. You will see that this is going to be a bit point for you as you need to return to work so soon - you will, I imagine, want to try to get your baby into a routine to ensure you achieve some form of normality and rest which is critical when you are working. Our situation was further complicated by the fact that our DD was really ill and required care - again not something that I could trust a carer who looked after three babies to do in the way I needed it done. About a month before I was due to go back to work, I placed an ad on the EW classifieds for a live out nanny with full sponsorship - we didn't want anyone living with us. I got 20 or so applicants and found a fantastic nanny who had good childcare experience. She spent the next four weeks with me and during those four weeks I gradually stepped back and allowed her to take care of my DD so that I could ensure she was doing a good job and so that I would get used to the idea of having to return to work (I intentionally ran errands during the day and gradually spent more and more time outside the house to build trust). DD is 10 months old now and looking back I can honestly say I wouldn't be able to go through leaving a small baby in a nursery. Not everyone has the choice but if you do, do consider one on one care as pointed out earlier. We were lucky to find a nanny who is highly interactive, caring and focused on our DD's development. The sponsorship and visa issue is a hassle but I think in the long run the financial cost of sponsoring yourself is less than going through an agency. Good luck to you - maybe wait until your baby is born to see how you feel before you make a final decision.

Dear OP, I complety understand where you come from and what i am describing here is out of my own personal experience. I did have my lil one in one of the nurseries which charge high fees and who also have a good reputation here on EW . During the nursery days I noticed that DS was not happy there as he was too small and did crave/ seek constant attention which wasnt there in the nursery (which is a fair thing as the staff there manage 10 babies) . When he saw me at the end of the he would be very very clingy. Adding to this he got sick so very often that i was taking days off from work week after week a very clear indication that his immune system was not yet ready. Finally the ped advised us to keep him away from nursery for sometime. I am thankful to have helpful relatives and inlaws who took turns over to come and look after him when i was at work and this proved a very convenient setup for me as I had the peace of mind that he was home and amongst family. Now he is 18 mo and goes to nursery for 3 days a week for a short while and we are in the process of hiring a nanny to take care of him after school. Had i known. i would have started my nanny search while i was in my first trimester and wouldnt have put my darling DS through so many visits to the hospital. Please keep in mind nursery might seem a good option to start with as you start worrying about leaving a stranger taking care of your baby, but the innumerable times i had to take time off to take care of the little one was not very well received at work. If you dont trust the nanny you are hiring please think of the option of getting someone over to supervise so that you have the peace of mind and the baby gets the deserved attention and care. Anyday, I would not recommend leaving an infant at the nursery (not that those little ones dont thrive - my sister left hers in the nursery since 2 months) but you will need to weigh pros and cons. Good luck with everything

This is the problem of life, you love ur babies and cant leave them with stranger and you need to work. I am gonna say my experience: 4yrs back I was having a very good job and was happy in a large organization, but decided to stay at home after I gave birth to my baby, even though my mother lives nearby my home and could take care of her, but didnot feel that it was okay to move my little baby everyday morning and evening from one place to the other, i feel she is so soft and need to stay at home with mama in front of her all the time. I felt babies need mama all the time and not anyone else even though it is my mother or any relative. I then gave birth to a second baby. now I am back to work recently, my first child is in school so most of the day at school and the other starting school in Sept. conclusion I know mothers sometimes cant help it with out working but if you really don't need the work, leave it and stay with your child for a couple of years until they are strong enough to be left with someone else. <em>edited by loranaji on 24/04/2012</em>

When my LO was born I had a full time live in nanny and she ignored him all day, would leave him lying in his moses basket for hours on end and as a result he developed a flat head. He used to be like a zombie when I would get home from work and as he got older, it became clear he did not want to be left with her. So you have to have someone you can really trust if you bring someone in to your home and you are out all day. Yesterday I had a look around Blossom Nursery; it is really nice and they have a young baby section. It may be worth checking with them what age they take from. They also offer extended hours for working parents. <em>edited by Niggly on 24/04/2012</em>

I would say the opposite, a small baby needs 1 on 1 with a consistent caregiver who they can form an attachment to. They also don't really have the immune system to be put into the nursery environment so young. Sponsoring might be a hassle but with an agency you might not get the same person all the time and you could have issues of reliability. I'm assuming you plan to stay back at work over the next few years so this person will effectively have a major role in raising your kids long term, sponsoring is the logical step and frankly if it was me I'd be looking at starting the process now so that you have time to find the right person. It has been proven, that one on one either with a care giver or family member is better for children. I would hire someone full time if I was in the same situation. I 100% agree with that statement. However, I don't know if it can apply in this country where safety standards are different and where people can easily be banned and deported. At least I think you can expect nursery workers to have good knowledge of current safety standards. Also, I think it helps if other people are around watching in case anything goes wrong... I am just about to have a baby, and if I had to go back to work after having him, I'd choose to put him in a nursery rather than leaving him day in and day out with a housemaid/nanny. That is only my opinion. If you really, really, trust your nanny, then I guess it is ok. <em>edited by AnonDubai on 24/04/2012</em>

Most nurseries will take babies from 6 weeks on. Most of them open after 7 am and a lot of them are open until early evening but as another poster said, that can get very expensive. Then, as SS said, if your child is sick, you cannnot send him/her and they also close for all holidays and have vacation weeks. I'd still go with the nursery option, though, if I were you. You may need to decide if it is feasible to go back to work so soon after having twins. I couldn't find a good nursery that took babies under 6 months old when I was looking.

I would say the opposite, a small baby needs 1 on 1 with a consistent caregiver who they can form an attachment to. They also don't really have the immune system to be put into the nursery environment so young. Sponsoring might be a hassle but with an agency you might not get the same person all the time and you could have issues of reliability. I'm assuming you plan to stay back at work over the next few years so this person will effectively have a major role in raising your kids long term, sponsoring is the logical step and frankly if it was me I'd be looking at starting the process now so that you have time to find the right person. It has been proven, that one on one either with a care giver or family member is better for children. I would hire someone full time if I was in the same situation.

Hi ladybird: can you get some close family like mom or mil to stay with you until babies are 6 months old? Personally, I wouldn't be comfortable sending such a small baby to nursery. If having the family to help is not feasible, my other option would be a full time nanny, someone trustworthy and you can totally reply upon. I don't think hiring a full time nanny is a hassle as big as it seems to be. According to Dubai rules, you need to be staying in a minimum 2-bedroom flat to sponsor someone. Am pretty sure it works out cheaper than nurseries when you consider the overall cost and expenses. However, having a part time nanny is risky and can be dangerous for the kids' welfare. That would be a strict no-no for me.

I would say the opposite, a small baby needs 1 on 1 with a consistent caregiver who they can form an attachment to. They also don't really have the immune system to be put into the nursery environment so young. Sponsoring might be a hassle but with an agency you might not get the same person all the time and you could have issues of reliability. I'm assuming you plan to stay back at work over the next few years so this person will effectively have a major role in raising your kids long term, sponsoring is the logical step and frankly if it was me I'd be looking at starting the process now so that you have time to find the right person.

Most nurseries will take babies from 6 weeks on. Most of them open after 7 am and a lot of them are open until early evening but as another poster said, that can get very expensive. Then, as SS said, if your child is sick, you cannnot send him/her and they also close for all holidays and have vacation weeks. I'd still go with the nursery option, though, if I were you. You may need to decide if it is feasible to go back to work so soon after having twins.

I would go for nursery at that age. A baby and a nanny/housemaid home alone all day is not a good combination.

Most nurseries if they take babies take them from 4months and up. It's very hard to find a nursery that is open before 730am. Most nurseries close at two. There are some that stay open til 5/6pm but very expensive. Nurseries close for school holidays or you pay extra for camps if they are open. They also close sometimes during the term for staff training or cleaning. If your baby is sick you can't send them in. A maid/nanny has to be on your visa to be legal. Personally I don't think it's worth the risk of leaving your child with someone who is illegal. There are companies that you can hire, they charge 35-45 dhs per hour.