Toilet Training 2yr9mth old boy & at my wits end...............

sorry to hijack this thread but perhaps one of the experienced mommies on here can help me and my current predicament... HELP! What worked for us, after DD declared that she wasn't every going to wear nappies again (but couldn't hold her bladder all night) was to pick her up, still virtually asleep at about 23h, and pop her on the loo, with a quick whisper of encouragement to do a nice big wee. She invariably would and would remain dry until morning. Just when I was starting to think that I was still doing all the hard work, she started self-toiletting and one morning, she had got up during the night and gone all by herself. We stopped "potting" her and she's been dry ever since... still gets up when she needs to, but never bothers me... apart from this week because we're in the UK and she doesn't know the bathroom layout off by heart. Got stuck behind her bedroom door, bless her, and puddled! ohhh blesss... how cute! poor thing... hope she settles into the holiday home soon enough... i think i will try this but it might not be for a while... problem is that i'm 11 weeks preggers and trying to carry a 20+kilo child is not going to work at the moment... DH is not around much coz of all the work related travel so i will be left to do this on my own... will see how this pans out... but thanks a zillion for the advice... have already made a mental note to try it as soon as it's possible... another added complication is that she sleeps on a bunk bed (on the top level)... so that would result in quite a haul if i had to get her up from there :)

we seemed to have been making progress with our 3 1/2 yr old but now he completely fights us on it.

sorry to hijack this thread but perhaps one of the experienced mommies on here can help me and my current predicament... HELP! What worked for us, after DD declared that she wasn't every going to wear nappies again (but couldn't hold her bladder all night) was to pick her up, still virtually asleep at about 23h, and pop her on the loo, with a quick whisper of encouragement to do a nice big wee. She invariably would and would remain dry until morning. Just when I was starting to think that I was still doing all the hard work, she started self-toiletting and one morning, she had got up during the night and gone all by herself. We stopped "potting" her and she's been dry ever since... still gets up when she needs to, but never bothers me... apart from this week because we're in the UK and she doesn't know the bathroom layout off by heart. Got stuck behind her bedroom door, bless her, and puddled!

hmmm... i'm not really sure what times she pees... haven't really monitored it... but maybe i should start doing that... hate the thought of waking her up though... lil angel looks so cute when she's asleep :)

sorry to hijack this thread but perhaps one of the experienced mommies on here can help me and my current predicament... my DD is all of 4 years and 4 months... she's been potty trained since she was 2 years of age and successfully poos and pees on her own (including cleaning and washing hands)... however my biggest challenge is that she still uses pampers at night... I am now on the largest size of pampers available (size 6) and I'm worried that if she doesn't learn to pee in the loo at night I might soon be out of pampers that fit her! :( she pees on most nights in her pampers... this is whether or not she has any fluids just before sleeping... I don't know if this will help you, but my sister had the same problem with my niece, so I'm telling you what they did. They sort of realised that she pees very early in the morning, and started waking her and taking her to the loo every morning. It is a pain, but she did get the idea after a few weeks. I'm at my wits end... I have told her she needs to let me or the maid know when she wants to pee at night... but she just hasn't woken up to tell us... and I've even tried not making her wear her pampers at night and that just results in accidents which end up in tears and change of beds, bedding etc... HELP!

Now I am starting to think that my DS is not ready. He is not doing any of these :( Every time he starts doing something I am taking him to the toilet and the potty, he decides where to go, no struggle, but if I don't do that he will not say anything and just do his thing quietly somewhere and continue playing until I discover the mess. :D I think I'll complete the week as he is not unhappy, but after that again (ohhhhh...) will have to give him some time :( Thanks :) Please post any updates and progress tips when you have any :) I think your DS will get it soon, actually he is getting it, just need little time :) Mine needs lots of time I see now. NT: I used books to make him comfortable on the toilet. Read a story and all was fun :) Now he is not afraid of any of the noises or anything in the bathroom. I will of course let you know how we get on...fingers....and toes crossed!! :D

The more you make a big fuss about it the bigger an ordeal it is going to become for your DS. A week is not long to have been toilet training your toddler and you cannot expect it all to be plain sailing. Praise him when he does get it right and if he has an accident then try to play it down. For going out put him in some of the pull up nappy type pants, this means he will still feel he is in pants rather than a nappy and if he has any accidents it will be contained. It is always a good idea to use these initially anyway as when a child is being newly toilet trained it can be difficult to get them to a toilet on time when out. :) What are pull-up nappy type pants? you mean pants which have plastic on the outside? I think she means pull up nappies

The more you make a big fuss about it the bigger an ordeal it is going to become for your DS. A week is not long to have been toilet training your toddler and you cannot expect it all to be plain sailing. Praise him when he does get it right and if he has an accident then try to play it down. For going out put him in some of the pull up nappy type pants, this means he will still feel he is in pants rather than a nappy and if he has any accidents it will be contained. It is always a good idea to use these initially anyway as when a child is being newly toilet trained it can be difficult to get them to a toilet on time when out. :) What are pull-up nappy type pants? you mean pants which have plastic on the outside?

Oh, don't worry, but it will take some time to fully train them. My DS is nearly 3 and I've been training him for the past 3 months and still going. He is ok with wee, but with #2 it's hit and miss sometimes. When we started, I would take him to toilet every 20-30 min (in nursery they did the same) for wee. He now tells me when he needs to go. As for the #2, I somehow know what time of the day he does that, so we try to check on him frequently if he wants to go. Sometimes it works, sometimes no, but I keep the faith that it will work one day :) At home, I keep him in underwear or training pants only. For outside (long outings), unfortunately, I still keep pampers, but trying to change that as well. For #2, I usually praise him and give him some sweet that he normally wouldn't get. Btw, DS used big toilet (with toilet seat for #2) from the beggining (refused to seat on the potty completely).

sorry to hijack this thread but perhaps one of the experienced mommies on here can help me and my current predicament... my DD is all of 4 years and 4 months... she's been potty trained since she was 2 years of age and successfully poos and pees on her own (including cleaning and washing hands)... however my biggest challenge is that she still uses pampers at night... I am now on the largest size of pampers available (size 6) and I'm worried that if she doesn't learn to pee in the loo at night I might soon be out of pampers that fit her! :( she pees on most nights in her pampers... this is whether or not she has any fluids just before sleeping... I'm at my wits end... I have told her she needs to let me or the maid know when she wants to pee at night... but she just hasn't woken up to tell us... and I've even tried not making her wear her pampers at night and that just results in accidents which end up in tears and change of beds, bedding etc... HELP!

you've got mail, you can delete your address now

Sounds like a plan. I'll be grateful if you can let me know when will be suitable for you to meet:D Thanks again. This has become a very serious problem for me and as this is my first child I am stressed :) <em>edited by mpp_jl on 11/07/2011</em>

Sounds like a plan.

Hi mpp_jl, here's a link to her book, I came with it but I'm sure I've seen it in Borders. Alternatively you're welcome to have my copy. http://www.contentedbaby.com/books-potty_training.htm You are the Greatest Moustique :D It will be perfect if I can have your copy if you don't need it any more. I can make a pdf copy of it and get it back to you in case someone else needs it too :)

if it's any consolation (hardly!) I found that the number of wees per day just seems to decrease as they learn how to control their bladder. DD was doing 12+ per day to start off with and now does maybe 3-4. If you think about it, there's a huge amount for them to learn and our expectations are for them to do so in a very short space of time. We don't expect them to go from lying to walking in a week, nor babbling to being able to speak in sentences, or indeed "weaning in a week"... so why should we assume they can grasp "appropriate behaviour", learn their own body's triggers, control their bladders, take control and inform us of something and then rush to the "appropriate place" and learn (and carry out) a sequence of hygienic procedures in record time? There are also those who will say that their children were potty trained at 9 months or something, but again, that is about expectations. An infant simply cannot be potty trained (as in autonomously self-toileting) because they can't control their body, can't ask, can't get to the appropriate place on their own and well, basically can't. It's the mum doing all the work... Sure, the child will probably produce if popped on a potty, but that's more down to coincidence and the mum knowing the child like clockwork than anything else. Anyhow, I can safely say that potty training DD was the hardest thing about parenting to date. I'm hoping DS is like my friend's son! I totally agree with you. You have to make sure your child is potty trained and not you. And for that he/she has to be ready. No point in rushing it and I'm the first one guilty of that mistake, on both occasions too. Both DS were successfully potty trained on the 2nd attempts. Also, make sure the nursery works hand in hand with you.

Hi mpp_jl, here's a link to her book, I came with it but I'm sure I've seen it in Borders. Alternatively you're welcome to have my copy. http://www.contentedbaby.com/books-potty_training.htm

Hi Cargear, I'm going to throw a spanner in the works here and say that I disagree with a lot of what's been said so far. But it's a matter of opinion and every child (and mother) is different. Both my sons were potty trained in less than 10 days and by that i mean, knowing they needed to go to the loo/potty, going to it, pulling their pants down, doing their business and washing their hands - all under supervision of course. Having said that, it was longer for my 2nd who refused to do a number two AT ALL for ages (thank g*d for prune syrup). My first son, like yours spent the first 5 days doing number 2s in his pants too. I realised he was terrified having spent the previous 2 yrs constrained in a nappy, and used to a certain feeling when he was opening his bowls. The penny finally dropped when i realised that he systematically did a number 2 within an hou of his lunch, and i literally followed him a round with the potty. At the first sign, bam, pants down and business done. This was followed with HUGE praises, etc and from that day on, it all went sailing. What you need to remember is you have to stay calm and positive no matter what, and every improvement is a small victory you share with them. I mean we even have a pee and pooh song which we all (maid included even if she doesnt speak French) sing in chorus when the job's done. I actually even caught son number 2 singing it to one of his friend who's being potty trained on a play date LOL. Remember also that at his age your LO is still young, so clear messages are the ones that make sense. For instance I personally never used Pull Ups as i think it sends them mixed messages. OK to mess them but not to be done in pants? Sometime you wear pants, sometimes you wear nappies during the day? Even i'd be confused. Potty training is a messy, smelly, stressful phase. You have to be patient (easier said than done I know). For what it's worth, finally, I used Gina Ford's recommendations for both my DS. I personally think the woman is a military-style control freak but with regards to advice on potty training, for my kids and me anyway, she was spot on. Best of luck - and i hope i haven't upset anyone. As I said each child and mother is different. ETA: what I have found to be a life saver too is having a potette. (foldable travel potty). Best thing ever. Even now he's clean and can hold it, i still carry it everywhere and I know he can safely and hygienically do his business anywhere we go - no hovering required LOL edited by Moustique on 11/07/2011 Thanks for all this Moustique. Always very helpful :) Is this book available in UAE or you came with it? I'll love to have it :D

if it's any consolation (hardly!) I found that the number of wees per day just seems to decrease as they learn how to control their bladder. DD was doing 12+ per day to start off with and now does maybe 3-4. If you think about it, there's a huge amount for them to learn and our expectations are for them to do so in a very short space of time. We don't expect them to go from lying to walking in a week, nor babbling to being able to speak in sentences, or indeed "weaning in a week"... so why should we assume they can grasp "appropriate behaviour", learn their own body's triggers, control their bladders, take control and inform us of something and then rush to the "appropriate place" and learn (and carry out) a sequence of hygienic procedures in record time? There are also those who will say that their children were potty trained at 9 months or something, but again, that is about expectations. An infant simply cannot be potty trained (as in autonomously self-toileting) because they can't control their body, can't ask, can't get to the appropriate place on their own and well, basically can't. It's the mum doing all the work... Sure, the child will probably produce if popped on a potty, but that's more down to coincidence and the mum knowing the child like clockwork than anything else. Anyhow, I can safely say that potty training DD was the hardest thing about parenting to date. I'm hoping DS is like my friend's son!

ok, gross question but, have you taken him with you when you're going ....? I did with DS 2 and when he realised that we all do it, it really helped. (sorry) :\:

Now I am starting to think that my DS is not ready. He is not doing any of these :( Every time he starts doing something I am taking him to the toilet and the potty, he decides where to go, no struggle, but if I don't do that he will not say anything and just do his thing quietly somewhere and continue playing until I discover the mess. :D I think I'll complete the week as he is not unhappy, but after that again (ohhhhh...) will have to give him some time :( Thanks :) Please post any updates and progress tips when you have any :) I think your DS will get it soon, actually he is getting it, just need little time :) Mine needs lots of time I see now. NT: I used books to make him comfortable on the toilet. Read a story and all was fun :) Now he is not afraid of any of the noises or anything in the bathroom.

Hi Cargear, I'm going to throw a spanner in the works here and say that I disagree with a lot of what's been said so far. But it's a matter of opinion and every child (and mother) is different. Both my sons were potty trained in less than 10 days and by that i mean, knowing they needed to go to the loo/potty, going to it, pulling their pants down, doing their business and washing their hands - all under supervision of course. Having said that, it was longer for my 2nd who refused to do a number two AT ALL for ages (thank g*d for prune syrup). My first son, like yours spent the first 5 days doing number 2s in his pants too. I realised he was terrified having spent the previous 2 yrs constrained in a nappy, and used to a certain feeling when he was opening his bowls. The penny finally dropped when i realised that he systematically did a number 2 within an hou of his lunch, and i literally followed him a round with the potty. At the first sign, bam, pants down and business done. This was followed with HUGE praises, etc and from that day on, it all went sailing. What you need to remember is you have to stay calm and positive no matter what, and every improvement is a small victory you share with them. I mean we even have a pee and pooh song which we all (maid included even if she doesnt speak French) sing in chorus when the job's done. I actually even caught son number 2 singing it to one of his friend who's being potty trained on a play date LOL. Remember also that at his age your LO is still young, so clear messages are the ones that make sense. For instance I personally never used Pull Ups as i think it sends them mixed messages. OK to mess them but not to be done in pants? Sometime you wear pants, sometimes you wear nappies during the day? Even i'd be confused. Potty training is a messy, smelly, stressful phase. You have to be patient (easier said than done I know). For what it's worth, finally, I used Gina Ford's recommendations for both my DS. I personally think the woman is a military-style control freak but with regards to advice on potty training, for my kids and me anyway, she was spot on. Best of luck - and i hope i haven't upset anyone. As I said each child and mother is different. ETA: what I have found to be a life saver too is having a potette. (foldable travel potty). Best thing ever. Even now he's clean and can hold it, i still carry it everywhere and I know he can safely and hygienically do his business anywhere we go - no hovering required LOL <em>edited by Moustique on 11/07/2011</em>

Thanks Saltire..it just happened that a friend of mine here toilet trained her boy recently and he is a little younger than mine and he got it in a few days so I was comparing to him in fairness which isn't fair. And he has an older brother so it would be easier maybe seeing him go and then doing the same. mpp_jl: it must be hard for you when you can't be with him all day. I am with my boy all day as I have a 4 month old boy also but I will have a find work next year so won't be with them as much. My boy used to say wees sometimes and we would put him up on the toilet and he would go there. I said I'd train him once our visitors went and just made a stab at it yesterday week seeing as it's heating up outside also. He could do wee's 7-8 times no bother and could do poos 3-4 times in his pants as (sorry to be disgusting) but they come out in small lumps as opposed to one big one...which im hoping will be easier for him when he does poos on the toilet and is in the squatting position. After reading the other girls posts I'm just going to be more relaxed now about it and not make a fuss and I think it will just click in his head someday hopefullly and will do poos in the toilet... Thanks CarGear :) Yes, when you are not spending a lot of time at home it's not the same. Do you watch him when he is ready to do something and then take him to the toilet or he tells you? :D Sorry I am asking so many questions, but we are trying for the 3rd time and I am really into moving to next step :) Thanks

Have been toilet training my boy for a week now and is great to do wees on the potty or toilet but refuses to do poos...ends up doing them in his pants...i think its a fear he has..have tried bribing him with toys but to no avail...anyone with suggestions please..would really appreciate them as can't see us leaving the house like this! go easy on him poor thing, took my DS over 6 months to learn to do number two's in the toilet or on the potty, they all get there eventually :)

I have the same problem :( But in my case it is little more complicated. I am a working mom and my DS goes to daycare. I tried to teach him when he was 2,5, but no luck, so as recommended I gave him some time and now we are starting again ... It's a pain ... I think I am not spending enough time with him. He knows what the toilet is for and all that, but sits there for 15, even 30min and when we put the pants back...... ohhhhhh... In the daycare they have even a small size toilet :) very cite and super suitable for his size, but it is impossible for me to control if he is going there or not as they have around 50 children and I do understand that is very difficult to spend too much time with one child over others. I've tried toys too, but as you CarGear.... no result :( How did you know that he is ready? Do you spend all day with him? How many times per day he goes toilet? Thanks :D <em>edited by mpp_jl on 11/07/2011</em>