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What if your husband is interested in having kids?

202

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 19 October 2011 - 22:31

As I mentioned in my previous thread that I'm TTC for last 7 months but no success so far.
This month I bought a ovulation kit n got positive result but before trying for test I had intercourse done so it gave me a thought that Even if I don't try again I would b pregnant this month for sure, my husband feels I'm getting really frustrated on this thing and never encourage me on this well I'm trying for second one as my daughter is 4 yrs n she loves babies n keeping on asking me that when will I have a baby mummy n I'm speechless...
Sometimes I feel like my husband never withdrawl as I told him this month that I'm ovulating n wanna try but he didn't n I felt embarrassed you know what I mean :(
I want second one n don't know how to convince him...my periods just started as well so just waste one more chance.
Any ideas would be appreciated.
Sorry ladies forgot to add word not in my subject ;)
<em>edited by Zeynab on 19/10/2011</em>

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2340

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 20 October 2011 - 14:07

oh and I point out only-kids amongst our friends that are a bit weird and tell him thats why they are like that, might not work if your husband was an only child and happy about it though. ;) Lol...I know lots of awesome only children though, so that line might not work. ;) If husbands need a wee shove in the 'right' direction, sometimes it's worth telling them that (after the first year or so) two children is infinitely easier than one. They entertain each other...and it's SO much fun watching them develop together. :D

kiwispiers15400

2782

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 20 October 2011 - 11:49

oh and I point out only-kids amongst our friends that are a bit weird and tell him thats why they are like that, might not work if your husband was an only child and happy about it though. ;)

kiwispiers15400

2782

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 20 October 2011 - 11:48

To be honest he knew before he married me that I wanted to have 2-3 kids, and he's not so much of the "strongly do not want another" as the "quite happy if we don't" frame of mind. End of the day you have to say to him this is what it will take to make me happy and they have to take it or leave it. My son is now 14 months too and we're about to give it a shot soon although I keep putting it off as I do find one child exhausting, but like you I think the gap should be around 2 years between kids so we'd better get moving. You might find it helpful if his parents or good friends can convince him as well, sometimes men listen to other men better than they do their wives.

66

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 20 October 2011 - 11:33

Hi kiwispiers, How long did it take you to finally convince your husband. My husband is exactly using the same arguments and he knows my standpoint. I think it is really good to have siblings. My daughter is now 14 months and I don't want to wait too long, otherwise the gap will be too big in my opinion. Whenever I try to discuss the topic he freeks out and gets really mad. Of course you should not push for it and both of us should feel happy about going to try for another. I just hope he will change his mind one day.

2937

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 20 October 2011 - 09:47

Mine has said he'd happily have three or four. I have told him if he's happy to carry them for nine months and then stay at home and look after them while earning his full salary out at work he's welcome to.

kiwispiers15400

2782

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 20 October 2011 - 09:43

My husband has quite openly said he would happily only have one child because he is A) already content with our son B) worried if we had another kid they couldn't possibly be as nice C) worried about the money D) worried that 2 kids would be harder than one However I have been quite adamant that its important to have siblings and he's come round to the idea, but he's still ambivalent. Your husband is also probably feeling worried about you being upset (with him) if you can't get pregnant, they also worry about anything happening to you during the pregnancy and birth, its all natural.

829

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 20 October 2011 - 07:48

Well, you need to sit down and and talk about it and make a sensible decision together. His reasoning of not being able to love another child is flawed. We all know that human beings have the capacity to love more than one child equally. Perhaps there's more to it than that? Is he worried about money? Is your marriage not really so stable? Does he have bad experiences with siblings that is clouding his judgement? Whatever it is, you can't *make* him give you another child. Perhaps he feels hugely pressured by all the strips and kits and just wants to get it on for getting it on's sake. As for feeling pressured by your daughter.....don't let her pressure you. Talk to your husband sensibly please and try to resolve this before it drives you both insane and apart.

202

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 19 October 2011 - 23:09

Yeh He thinks it's another jobs that he needs to do but every month I have expectations n keep on using pregnancy test strips n ends up with disappointment :( My husband thinks he can't share his love of DD with a second child.

833

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 19 October 2011 - 23:02

Not sure but maybe your dh thinks you are too focused on the outcome of having intercourse. He wants to do it to be close to you and because of the end result :D Maybe all this ovulation focus makes it feel like a task for him?

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