How can I deal with An American guy? | ExpatWoman.com
 

How can I deal with An American guy?

19
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 10 October 2011 - 18:34

Hi Girls,

I'm recently dating a new person, He is an American living in Dubai, He is a nice guy but so quiet, polite and decent. sometimes I feel a gap between us and don't know what is this for! As a Middle Eastern girl I never had a date from US (actually I was not having a serious relationship for few years) and I don't know anything about them. I like him and don't know how can I warm up our relationship which is so fresh.
He likes me and I feel it but I think we are not as close as I expect; Am I mistakenly looking for the same approach of the men in the East? or I can expect the relationship to be more intimate? or maybe I am in rush
Any comment?

542
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EW GURU
Latest post on 11 October 2011 - 23:45
you know, one wonderful thing about new relationships is, you know nothing and you can have a great time finding out about the other person...let the relations go its course, listen and you will find your answers. Not quite sure I agree with bornconfused though, all men are different :) :D Yes all men are different.. But most are the same.. :D :D
2262
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 11 October 2011 - 20:00
you know, one wonderful thing about new relationships is, you know nothing and you can have a great time finding out about the other person...let the relations go its course, listen and you will find your answers. Not quite sure I agree with bornconfused though, all men are different :)
542
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EW GURU
Latest post on 11 October 2011 - 19:14
Okay, being an American I'll bite.. :) A 26 year old single American man in Dubai probably isn't looking at this as a long term relationship by ANY means especially since this is only a 2 week old thing. And at the risk of having my head bit off, I will say this anyway.. I would be willing to bet he just wanted a little bit of fun here and there..
19
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 11 October 2011 - 13:09
There is the possibility that he approaches relationships differently?? Maybe he wants to get to know the person who he sees as someone he could develop a relationship with. Maybe his values are above those of most men. Maybe he came out of a relationship and is being cautious. If he was looking to jump her bones he would be a "***" and out for one thing, but seeing as he's being a gentlemen, there must be something wrong with him? Who is to say that he didn't treat women the same when he was in America? Saying he's worried that he will be killed by brothers or she will want to get married after the first kiss is total nonsense. Maybe it's his understanding of "Arab culture" - treat women with respect, or maybe that's his own belief. He sounds like the kind of man most mother's would want their daughter to bring home. There is nothing wrong with you telling him that you are enjoying the friendship that is developing and asking him if he sees it going beyond a friendship. If he tells you he would like it to go further, then let him take his time. It also gives you time to get to know him better. I really got many good responses by sharing my story in EW, I needed someone to talk to me in this regard; your quote is one of those precious one, I am relieved now knowing that it is just something happening slowly. You are absolutely right, Thanks
19
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 11 October 2011 - 12:57
As a single western female in Dubai, I think there's a huge difference in the way western and arabic men approach women and their attitude in the early stages of a relationship. This is only based on my personal experiences and those of my friends and is not meant to generalise specific nationalities. I'm used to western men who are relatively laid back and casual in their approach to commitment / getting serious (emotionally not sexually!). By contrast I, and my friends have found that arabic men tend to throw themselves headfirst in to emotional commitment. For example, after one date and no horizontal action, assuming that you are in a committed relationship! This comes over a bit OTT to a western girl so I can imagine that a western male's approach could seem stand-offish to an arabic girl. Well, Thank you, That's what I wanted to hear, I just wanted to discover this difference between middle eastern and westerners; I am trying to know him as well and I know that it is too soon to judge and decide. now I am sure that there is nothing wrong.
379
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 11 October 2011 - 11:13
There is the possibility that he approaches relationships differently?? Maybe he wants to get to know the person who he sees as someone he could develop a relationship with. Maybe his values are above those of most men. Maybe he came out of a relationship and is being cautious. If he was looking to jump her bones he would be a "***" and out for one thing, but seeing as he's being a gentlemen, there must be something wrong with him? Who is to say that he didn't treat women the same when he was in America? Saying he's worried that he will be killed by brothers or she will want to get married after the first kiss is total nonsense. Maybe it's his understanding of "Arab culture" - treat women with respect, or maybe that's his own belief. He sounds like the kind of man most mother's would want their daughter to bring home. There is nothing wrong with you telling him that you are enjoying the friendship that is developing and asking him if he sees it going beyond a friendship. If he tells you he would like it to go further, then let him take his time. It also gives you time to get to know him better.
214
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 11 October 2011 - 11:03
Two weeks is a blink. Relax.
60
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 11 October 2011 - 10:54
I'm really curious, how people start a relatioship in this coutry? For as long as I'm here I've never kissed my husband or hug him im public. Not that I don't want to... but ..
40
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 11 October 2011 - 10:40
As a single western female in Dubai, I think there's a huge difference in the way western and arabic men approach women and their attitude in the early stages of a relationship. This is only based on my personal experiences and those of my friends and is not meant to generalise specific nationalities. I'm used to western men who are relatively laid back and casual in their approach to commitment / getting serious (emotionally not sexually!). By contrast I, and my friends have found that arabic men tend to throw themselves headfirst in to emotional commitment. For example, after one date and no horizontal action, assuming that you are in a committed relationship! This comes over a bit OTT to a western girl so I can imagine that a western male's approach could seem stand-offish to an arabic girl.
19
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 11 October 2011 - 10:11
Are you sure he's into you? Maybe he just sees this as friends only.... Yes, he is, that's what make me confused! He clearly mention it as a date and talk about everything around me, asking me questions and acting as a real gentleman, that's why I asked help in the forum, thought maybe there is something I don't know??????// but it seems not and he may only be afraid, let's see for coming Thursday!!
1280
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 11 October 2011 - 10:09
Just talk to him, explain how it works with you, maybe he is unclear! Like someone said he is probably unsure and maybe just being careful.
1953
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 11 October 2011 - 10:07
Are you sure he's into you? Maybe he just sees this as friends only....
19
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 11 October 2011 - 10:05
Yeah, I met him few times, I guess I am gonna break the ice this time, he shouldn't be afraid of being closer to me, No one gonna shoot him, hhee hhe
236
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 11 October 2011 - 07:44
Umm then hold his hand and break the ice?? what's wrong with that?? I second that you are thinking too much about the possible differences! just enjoy and have fun, Amour is Amour, regardless of where the guy is from!! even if he is from timbaktoe:) <em>edited by Annabelle09 on 11/10/2011</em>
2262
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 10 October 2011 - 23:41
have you even had a date with this guy??? sounds like you are trying to read way too much into something that ight not be there...give it a minute...he is probably like all men, not sure what he is doing lol Americans included lol
19
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 10 October 2011 - 23:10
He is so nice and take me out but he doesn't even hold my hand, I really don't want it so early but I am wondering why he is making this distance, like the other comments say, He maybe afraid of the consequent.
19
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 10 October 2011 - 21:50
Just go with the flow, take it easy, I think it's too early to tell anything Sure Thanks. ;)
2392
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 10 October 2011 - 21:42
Just go with the flow, take it easy, I think it's too early to tell anything
19
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 10 October 2011 - 21:37
Just be yourself, get to know each other, the rest will just happen! This s the case where ever he is from, wherever you are from! maybe I am kinda confused as I didn't have any serious relationship for a few years, It could've been the same for anyone from any country, I guess that's me who don't know what to do at this stage.
19
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 10 October 2011 - 21:33
American men are very complex??????????????????? really?????????????? how so????? being a Canadian, I would be very interested in the answer :) are you saying canadian men are complex? Aren't they all, regardless of where they're from? what men are complex? ha ha, they are many different ideas about men, but I think they are complex. I don't know !!!! thought they were all a bit simple really :\:
2392
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 10 October 2011 - 21:32
Just be yourself, get to know each other, the rest will just happen! This s the case where ever he is from, wherever you are from!
19
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 10 October 2011 - 21:31
American men are very complex??????????????????? really?????????????? how so????? being a Canadian, I would be very interested in the answer :) what do you think???
19
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 10 October 2011 - 21:30
I really don't think where he is from will help any of us tell you how to deal with this man. None of us know him - and certainly can't make any accurate judgements about him! All men are different. Half of my family is from America, and even within the men in my family - they are all quite different. My brother, until the past few years when he finally got into a truly committed relationship, would sleep with anything that came near him (not to be mean, it was just true), one of my cousins had only been with one girl - and the rest fall somewhere in between. You can't judge anyone by where they are from. Wait and see if you really want to see what he is like - or make the first move if he's not moving fast enough for you. Thanks Emmess, You are right, what I wanted to know was just about anything which can be common among Americans, like any specific idea, habit or whatsoever. but as you said, I wanna give it sometime
19
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 10 October 2011 - 21:27
Ok, well, you know he likes you. And you know he isn't shy. I think he is thinking he is going to be murdered by your brothers. Either that, or he thinks you are going to want to marry him if he kisses you. Both are very common stereotypes that Americans have about women from the Middle East. I think you should come right out and say, "are you going to kiss me or what?" Otherwise, next time, linger in a dark hallway and sort of lean in ... if he kisses you, great, otherwise you know you have a dud! Ha Ha Guinness, that was so nice and funny, I found a common idea in almost all the comments about him being afraid of me(because of my family or marriage threat ;-)) ; will try to make him sure there is no risk and he can have peace of mind kissing me but if he doesn't do that as you said, I am gonna be happy of having a new friend. uuummm what to do
19
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 10 October 2011 - 21:22
I dunno, I used to work for an American company, I wouldn't say the men are all the same. East Cost, West Coast, Southern and Mid-West maybe [i'>at a stretch[/i'> you could generalise, as they might have similar values/behaviour traits, but as I said, I really think that would be stretching it! Shamina my recomendation would be you if you [i'>absolutely have [/i'>to know this stuff now, then you need to be asking these questions of your man-friend. Don't make any assumptions based on the opinions of a random bunch of women on an internet forum. But really, I think the best thing would be just to lighten up and cruise for a bit and get to know each other a bit better before rushing into deep and meaningfuls or you might scare him away. Yeah, you are right, that what I am supposed to do, really I myself don't want to make it quick, Thank you
1953
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 10 October 2011 - 21:13
American men are very complex??????????????????? really?????????????? how so????? being a Canadian, I would be very interested in the answer :) are you saying canadian men are complex? Aren't they all, regardless of where they're from? what men are complex? thought they were all a bit simple really :\:
350
Posts
EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 10 October 2011 - 21:11
American men are very complex??????????????????? really?????????????? how so????? being a Canadian, I would be very interested in the answer :) are you saying canadian men are complex? Aren't they all, regardless of where they're from?
1953
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 10 October 2011 - 20:56
American men are very complex??????????????????? really?????????????? how so????? being a Canadian, I would be very interested in the answer :) are you saying canadian men are complex?
2262
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 10 October 2011 - 20:53
American men are very complex??????????????????? really?????????????? how so????? being a Canadian, I would be very interested in the answer :)
169
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 10 October 2011 - 20:52
I really don't think where he is from will help any of us tell you how to deal with this man. None of us know him - and certainly can't make any accurate judgements about him! All men are different. Half of my family is from America, and even within the men in my family - they are all quite different. My brother, until the past few years when he finally got into a truly committed relationship, would sleep with anything that came near him (not to be mean, it was just true), one of my cousins had only been with one girl - and the rest fall somewhere in between. You can't judge anyone by where they are from. Wait and see if you really want to see what he is like - or make the first move if he's not moving fast enough for you.
 
 

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