Going back to work after 45 days maternity....

Hi Samie......that would be awesome. I don't really know any other to be mommies.....my email address is leenavazathotmaildotcom

I am due end September and in a complete panic on getting back to work after 45 days. Trying to get my mom here, but residence visa rules are difficult!!!!. I have to sponsor both parents, there is no way around to sponsor just one. :0.....which puts a huge strain on the baby budget.....If you hire a nannny, how do you cope with trust issues that the nanny will look after your little baby just like or at least similar to what you would....? Resigning is not an option, we need the income....

Oh I really feel for you. 45 days goes by so quickly. I checked the labour laws and was told that the additional 100 hours was if you were signed off unfit to work (not your baby being I'll). Your employer must keep your job for you. Also it does not have to be taken in one 145 day block, it can be broken up. My husband bought me a brilliant double pump from Medela called a freestyle, when we thought I'd go back early. I LOVED it but only ended up using it for 6 weeks once a day, as my LO was so old by the time I returned. I would highly recommend it. It's small, quiet and easy to use and clean. I tried my friends avent duo, and the Medela one in the backpack before buying the Freestyle, but found the fact that the Freestyle was so small and plugged in at home to recharge totally worth it. I would also get a camera system installed to ease your mind before the nanny starts. That way it is normal for her from day one, and you can see and chat to your little one when ever you like. My frind has one and it's great. We are getting one now, but wish I'd had it from the beginning. Lastly I found routine is everything when you are a working mum. I read everything on sleep training, and although it's really hard to get started, it's so worth the invested time and energy. My LO is one and still goes to bed at 6.30 till at least 7.30 without waking up. And has two two hour naps a day, so my lovely helper gets a break, as it must be a tiring job to look after someone elses baby. She still has plenty of time to tidy up, so I get full one on one time with my LO when I'm home. Write down everything when you explain it to your helper, to ensure that they understand. I made an excel nanny diary that I printed out for her to fill in naps, feeds, walk timings, any special info that I might need to know eg... Clapton, rashes, bruises etc. Good luck. 45 days will fly by. I hope it all goes well for you, and you get time to enjoy your new love :)

lol it is much easier said than done. There are a lot of things you can do from birth to help encourage day/night sleep patterns forming but at the end of the day if your baby is hungry, you (or somebody else) will have to feed them, regardless of the clock. There are so many baby books out there that say things like "at x number of week or y number of kgs your baby is physically capable of sleeping z number of hours". Unfortunately not only are they not really based on any science, but rather somebodies personal opinion, but also they are outlining one possible scenario. Basically whether on formula or breastmilk a newborn will need to feed around the clock in order to gain weight, an older baby [i'>might[/i'> take in enough calories by day so that if they do not wake in the night they will still gain weight well. That does not translate to, "once they reach x number week/y number kgs if they do wake in the night they will not feel hunger, or thirst, or fear of being alone." I think its important to understand the difference, it all sounds good on paper but once your babies are born you will realise that this is not a task to manage or an obstacle to overcome, this is a tiny little person whose whole world revolves around you and all of these tiny people have unique needs and personalities. Absolutely right Sparkly, you need patience and a realistic attitude. The sleepless nights are hard, although after a while your body does adjust to fragmented sleep and they are not forever. Breastfeeding is possible even with return to work but if you can't pump or return home to feed (or have someone bring the baby in to feed) then you could consider EBF for the 45 days, this in itself will reduce a variety of risks for your baby, and from that point you could mix feed. The way breastmilk supply works is your body hates wastage and will try to to make the exact amount your baby drinks and no more. So if you add a formula feed your body will eventually stop making milk for that feed (you might get engorged for a while), but continue to make milk for the other breastfeeds. You do have a maximum capacity you can make per feed (which varies wildly from woman to women which is why some breastfeeding mums can feed every 4-5 hours and others feed far more frequently) so if you are restricted in times you are available to breastfeed, or decide to feed to a schedule from a book then your baby may not be able to take enough from these feeds alone, this is where woman can run into supply issues and need to either increase number of feeds or add formula feeds. If you would like to give an expressed feed rather than formula and can't pump by day (although your employer really should be able to provide a space for you) then depending on your baby you may be able to pump a feed at night. My baby for example naturally slept trhough from 7pm to 2/3 am from about 6 weeks of age. So had I needed expressed milk then I could have pumped at around 9pm before I went to bed. I did not have supply issues but was still never able to pump a full feed in one go (the milk was there but stubbornly refused to come out) but some women can pump more than a feed at a time, it really depends on how your breasts respond to the pump (no way of knowing in advance) and using a double pump seems to help some women get more, not to mention making pumping a whole lot faster. Truly there are a lot of uncertainties with having a baby and this can be frustrating, particularly for those who are used to having their whole week mapped out on their iphone. This is where the "books" stop being helpful. "but I've done a, b and c and yet my baby is still awake? the book tells me she will now be doing e, f or g but she is doing h, what do I do?", truthfully you can plan, (and it helps to plan), you can educate yourself (and it helps to be educated), but you have to be prepared to wing it, to take each day as it comes and to know that even if things do not go to plan you will figure out a new way together with your baby and you will survive and enjoy it. all the best xx

We all hope bubs will sleep well! I don't mind getting up 2-3 times a night to her even if I have to work the next day, I just go to bed early alot and nap with her on my day off. And I love doing that. Patiently waiting for bubs to drop a feed at night. About expressing- No I don't think so, but more importantly it's about keeping up your supply. Expressing regularly means your supply will not be impacted when away from bubs. If you don't express you don't produce more as the body assumes you don't need it. Ladies who did this would be feeding a combination of breast milk and formula I guess as they would not produce enough breast milk to keep up with bubs. Not to mention engorgement issues. I'd suggest you read up on breastfeeding and expressing, there's a world of info out there. Good luck. <em>edited by sparkly on 04/06/2012</em>

Hi samie10 Using the pump I have, I express twice as much as bubs feeds, so I would say you would not be able to pretend to pump in two 30 minute sessions. Someone else might be able to offer advice on the double pump. Having said that, all it would take was another mother who had done the whole expressing thing to realize what you were (or rather, were not) doing in those breaks. <em>edited by sparkly on 04/06/2012</em>

I am due in November, and thinking what to do with maternity leave. As it is my first little one, I am not sure how will I react to the sleepless nights and so on. So, I already made a combat plan: saving some vacation to use up after 45 days of maternity leave, and will try to get some unpaid leave. I am hoping to go back to work 3 months after delivery. However, maybe I will want to get away sooner?! No idea on this one! I got few books about pregnancy and the first year, and found different informations. I liked the book Bringing up bebe and decided to train my baby to sleep full night as soon as possible. probably easier said than done, lets see what will happen this fall and winter.

It totally sucks doesn't it? I saved up my annual leave and took that in addition to maternity leave. Are you governed by Dubai proper rules or are you in a free zone? Some of the free zones adhere to better maternity leave rules than others. In terms of returning to work, we also had a nanny who commenced with us a month before I was due to return. I taught her the routine and how I wanted things done. I found it really helpful to write everything down as in what time the baby should feed, nap times, bath time etc but of course allowed flexibility too to allow the nanny to meet DDs needs but on the whole the nanny kept to the schedule. The schedule was adjusted as the baby grew. Our nanny is a live out so she starts at 8am and finishes at 6.30pm. Because of the long day, we let her take a nap when the baby is napping and she still managed to find the time to do some house work which is a great help. You will also be allowed to take two half hour nursing breaks - this is the law. I was able to combine mine and leave one hour earlier. Your employer might be generous (and sensible) to let you combine this with your lunch break thereby letting you leave two hours earlier. You are entitled to these two half hour breaks until your baby is 18 months old but on the condition that you are "nursing" so don't tell anyone you are no longer breast feeding if you have stopped!!! Regarding sleep - yes this is definitely an issue! The only way we were able to cope was by going to sleep really early ourselves - sometimes at 7.30pm! I was lucky enough to have DD down to one feed during the night before I returned to work. It will be tough but the time will fly very quickly. People who had been through the same situation kept telling me there would be a light at the end of the tunnel and it's what kept me going! Around the 6 month mark, things really settled down for us. Wish you all the best : )

Hi samie10, I went back after 45 days. It was tough, and still is as bubs is now 3 mths, to leave the house every time. I work 2-3 shifts at the moment, and i am fortunate to be able to work flexible timings. Working even a small amount does make coming home an absolute delight and the days at home just wonderful as you are entirely devoted to bubs in that time, having had some time out to continue to be 'you'. Part of me never wants to work again but I think I am the type that needs to do something. I agree w Kiwispiers about buying a good pump if you plan on expressing and feeding breast milk. I express every two hours at work even though bubs feeds about every 3-4 at home just to keep up with the volumes. I have the avent electric/ manual (prefer manual actually) and chose not to get a hospital grade yet as expressing is going ok as it is right now. I have been considering a double though just to ensure that I can continue to keep up w bubs as the volumes she consumes goes up n up and express quicker. I am also fortunate to have my MIL here. If I had to hire someone to care for bubs I would resign, but that is just me and my beliefs I guess. I can't lend any advice on hiring help. My advice would be to work up to full time and ease back into it if possible. It will make it easier on you and bubs. At night the sleeping is an issue but I think easing back into it will help w that too. I am still up 2-3 times a night but I find that starting work a bit later is working well. 11am works well for me. All the best

what you might need is a night-nanny. a 45 day old baby will usually still need a lot of attention at night and I can imagine it will be very hard for you to return to work productively and be dealing with al that. Or else you need your nanny to maybe start very early, say at 5am so that you have the opportunity to sleep for a solid few hours before you get up for work. Ideally you don't want to have to do any cooking, cleaning or laundry so that any time you have at home is resting or being a mum. I had a c-section and physically I would have been absolutely fine for return to work by 45 days, but I was still very tired as I was feeding at 3am and 5am and truthfully it would have taken very extreme financial circumstances for me to be able to leave him anyway. I'm sorry to say that as clearly you don't feel you have a choice but if you have any other options (like taking out a loan from family so you can stay even an extra few months at home or looking for a different, more flexible job.) I think it wold be worth it. If you want your baby to have breastmilk you should probably invest in a very good double pump and organise with your employer to have a private space and time to pump each day while working. Since BF'd babies are statistically sick less often that translates to parents taking less sick days to care for them so its in every employers financial interest to facilitate BFing mums as much as possible. You can maybe organise/negotiate with your employer to have a few hours break in the middle of the day and start work early/leave late to compensate, so that you could go home midday, breastfeed, nap and have some mummy time.

By law you are also entitled to 100 days unpaid leave at the end of your 45 maternity leave if this is an option for you.

First congratulations 45 days is not alot - and unless you have a complication free natural birth you will probably be at home longer I had planned to go back to work but had a c-section and some complictaions - ended up getting a dr note for more time at home for me to recover by the time the baby was 3 months - i was actually ready to go back to work - its much much easier than raising a baby and to be honest in the first few months all they do it eat and sleep! So if i had a dependable family member i would have left him with them and ran to work - the first kid really rocked my world! but thankfully For us the family member who was going to help out with childcare couldnt come to the uae ....so we had to look for a helper ... while looking i put my son on a routine (babywhisperer/babywise/ cecile from babysense) , and like a miracle life turned around - i started really enjoying my baby - at 6 months he was responsive and we where go on adventures .... so at 9 months when all my leave , dr notes , unpaid leave ran out .....i resigned ..... because a job you can change / go back to and pick up where you left off / have to work a bit harder to catch up ....but a job is just that .... something changable and not gauranteed no matter how much you love it or how hard you work A baby grows with you ...loves you .....thier whole world is better just becuase your in it ..... and thier will be a time / usually when they start school .... when they will want independence ... and you can go back to work ........and thus in the grand scheme of things .... have the best of both worlds