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Child's birthday party RSVP etiquette

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3

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 20 March 2011 - 16:27

As far as I am concerned I always answer to an invitation whether my kids are going or not . But I think that not everybody is aware of the etiquette . Just made a research on yahoo and judging from the number of person asking " what does rsvp stand for?" you cannot blame some parents coming from other part of the world to be ignorant of the meaning . You are right CanadianInDXB in an invitation card it actually means " repondez s'il vous plait" but the same abbreviation is used for " reservez" http://www.encyclo.co.uk/define/RSVP.

232

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 20 March 2011 - 15:44

thought so, but maybe the definition here is different "Please respond but only if you really want to and if you want to come but not reply you can bring your siblings"

CanadianInDXB420

409

Posts

EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 20 March 2011 - 15:42

It does! It means " répondez s'il vous plaît", which is respond, please!

232

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 20 March 2011 - 15:39

odd, I thought it meant 'please respond':\: <em>edited by Kid Vs Kat on 20/03/2011</em>

CanadianInDXB420

409

Posts

EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 20 March 2011 - 15:34

That's actually great to know that not everyone knows what RSVP means, Lauradiva, thank you. I like the suggestions of actually writing in there "let me know if you're coming or not". I will, however, not be inviting anyone that I am not super close with any more :) As an aside, I did smile at this! "Emily Post - The high society of England adopted French etiquette in the late 18th century, and the writings of Emily Post purport to offer a standard no more stringent than that tradition. Late 20th century editions building on her 1920s beginning work say, e.g., that "Anyone receiving an invitation with an R.S.V.P on it is [i'>obliged[/i'> to reply....", and some recent editions describe breaching this standard as "inexcusably rude". I guess that's the way some people were raised and feel quite strongly about this matter.

3

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 20 March 2011 - 15:18

I actually thought that RSVP stands for " reservez s'il vous plait " which meant that only people who will attend have to answer. Everybody in Dubai does not come from the same part of the world and is not aware of all the letter codes. Quite fed up with all those acronyms which could mean so many things I forget to mention the people who wont appreciate to "burn" some mobile units to call the parents just to say their kid wont go to the party . I think it will be a good idea to indicate on the birthday card : will attend , will not attend and please return the card to the birthday boy/girl. Surely not everyone will do so but i am pretty sure you will get more answers . Maybe add also an email adress, some people prefer to write that to talk.

596

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EW GURU

Latest post on 20 March 2011 - 14:40

Wise, this I used to do as not everyone understands RSVP. I stopped writing RSVP after my child's first party here when only 10 responded that they were coming and 19 showed up, all nationalities I might add. I now put "Please contact me and let me know if you can or cannot make it" - can't be much clearer and put telephone number and email

704

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 20 March 2011 - 09:24

I stopped writing RSVP after my child's first party here when only 10 responded that they were coming and 19 showed up, all nationalities I might add. I now put "Please contact me and let me know if you can or cannot make it" - can't be much clearer and put telephone number and email

CanadianInDXB420

409

Posts

EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 20 March 2011 - 09:15

Is it too much pressure ? Then they should very politely decline.

3901

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EW MASTER

Latest post on 20 March 2011 - 09:08

I was at a one year old birthday party today, one didn't cancel at all, 4 just cancelled today. For me this is rude, the mum was almost into tears...plenty of food was thrown into the rubbish.Needless to say that the mother won't invite them again... No excuse for that - just rude.

596

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EW GURU

Latest post on 20 March 2011 - 06:16

It is awful but this happens so much these days,people do get sick and cannot attend things but sadly not always the case. I also do wonder if there is too much pressure on parents to spend money on gifts, gifts for children, gifts for teachers, gifts for adults you don't know very well, gifts for people leaving you probably will never see again and have not been a close friend, gofts for collegues at work. Is it too much pressure ? It all adds up and may not be much to some people but is to others. ???????????????????????? I was at a one year old birthday party today, one didn't cancel at all, 4 just cancelled today. For me this is rude, the mum was almost into tears...plenty of food was thrown into the rubbish.Needless to say that the mother won't invite them again...

152

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 19 March 2011 - 23:50

I was at a one year old birthday party today, one didn't cancel at all, 4 just cancelled today. For me this is rude, the mum was almost into tears...plenty of food was thrown into the rubbish.Needless to say that the mother won't invite them again...

596

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 19 March 2011 - 21:45

This is true , but one thing I have noted here in Dubai is many teachers in some schools either seem to come from the Uk or India and have a major influence and as they have not worked in many countries can be narrow in approaches and understanding of other cultures. I think if more teachers were better travelled/ worked in a number of countries and not just with their own nationality the children and parents would benefit more. I think however it's approached, the school is a great cross cultural faciltiator.

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 19 March 2011 - 12:48

I think however it's approached, the school is a great cross cultural faciltiator.

596

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 19 March 2011 - 12:47

Would it not be better for teachers to teach the actual children and put it in the curiculium. When I was in school we we taught to write letters and thank you notes. Why teach these adults ? Maybe put it in one newsletter but not every weekly email. I think that this would be a good opportunity for everyone to ask the school to add a note in their next 'weekly email' asking parents to take the time to respond to bday invitations. We can use the schools to educate those who think rsvp'ing is a situational thang. Great idea.

1337

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EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 19 March 2011 - 12:46

Every child in the class being invited to every party is a lot of parties for any child to go to - no wonder they can be so blase about them, let alone the parents who can't be bothered to say whether their child will be attending or not. Parties should be something that are really looked forward to, not something that happens because its the done thing to invite people just for the sake of it. I used to get sick with excitement in the build up to going to a party - but crikey the amount my grandchildren go to even bores me.

238

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 19 March 2011 - 12:34

I think that this would be a good opportunity for everyone to ask the school to add a note in their next 'weekly email' asking parents to take the time to respond to bday invitations. We can use the schools to educate those who think rsvp'ing is a situational thang. Great idea.

596

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 19 March 2011 - 12:19

Wendopia What is there to be terrified about ? Nervous maybe. No one is going to kill or hurt you. Am about to start planning my sons party and now I am terrified after reading this thread! LOL I cannot afford to invite his entire class, so I was just going to let him invite a selected few. He takes the school bus, so I was going to ask the teacher to distribute them to the children's parents (but now after reading what the teacher wrote about how that is a bad things to do, I am stumped). Why does this have to be so complicated. We are going to do a small birthday at home (like we always do) but will people show up, or is that not fancy shmancy enough for here? (been here for only 4 months, so clueless).

CanadianInDXB420

409

Posts

EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 19 March 2011 - 12:17

Yes, I agree that it's not just here - I saw someone recently on fb practically begging people to RSVP to her wedding (in Canada) since she needed to finalize numbers for the caterer. <em>edited by CanadianInDXB on 19/03/2011</em>

596

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 19 March 2011 - 12:13

I think it is very unfortunate that people in today's world have not been taught the nice things of life one of which would be to reply to an invitation yes/no or not sure at presnt but will know by Thursday if that is ok as my husband may be working. The other nice thing paopla have lost is the ability to pick up the Phone, most just text and i have found myself falling into it but try to remember phone sometimes. It is not just Dubai ! I ended up cancelling an outdoor event today (not a child's party as the thread title indicates but a gathering for grown ups) due to lack of response and have read through this thread trying to have the slightest understanding of why people do not RSVP and still do not have a grip on it - other than Gleeky saying she does the opposite of what I would call "regrets only" of an RSVP. There doesn't seem to be a solution!

1403

Posts

EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 19 March 2011 - 12:06

Haven't read this whole thread and the whole birthday party thing for your child is new to me, but after reading some replies of how rude people can be by not RSVP'ing (and I believe its COMMON COURTESY) and also bringing uninvited siblings, I definitely won't be inviting whole classes of kids to my DD's parties. My DD parties will just be exclusively for her CLOSE friends who are in her life socially on a regular basis. Its only then that siblings will be welcome to join in the fun as these will be the people we hold near and dear to us. I think birthday parties can get out of hand these days and scarily I wonder if its the whole "keeping up with the Jones'" attitude. I believe a child's birthday party should not be about the quantity of children, but more about the quality. I don't believe you need 30-40 kids to make your little one's party a success. But of course this is just my personal opinion and everyone is entitled to theirs. ;)

213

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 19 March 2011 - 12:06

It is most definitely cultural I organized a party for my 4 year old in January and sent out invites with RSVP. at least 10 people didn't bother answering ( all from this part of the world). Tow days before the party, I told my daughter's teacher to let those parents know not to bother turning up on the day as they would be disappointed when I didn't let them in. Within two hours, I had RSVPs <em>edited by SwissGirl on 19/03/2011</em>

CanadianInDXB420

409

Posts

EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 19 March 2011 - 11:56

I remember another poster on here who does that and I feel betterThat's meeee! :)

1811

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 19 March 2011 - 11:53

I think it is a sign of the times rather than a sign of Dubai. My BF at home hosted a baby shower where she sent 40 invitations got 9 RSVP's and 26 turned up (or thereabouts). We are not as polite as previous generations and it is not just rsvp etiquette where this applies. It is true that well mannered people are something of a rarity nowadays. If it had been me sending out the invitations I would have got back in touch with those that hadn't replied saying - I am so sorry you can't make the event, see you around. See how many reply after that and cater only for the number who replied. :)

CanadianInDXB420

409

Posts

EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 19 March 2011 - 11:43

AR, thank you :) It's OK, as those who had the courtesy to RSVP are meeting me at a different location! Yes, you and I are organized in the same way as we have discovered in the past! I think of you often when I am putting anything back in the freezer, lol

1811

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 19 March 2011 - 11:38

Terrible shame you had to cancel the event. I think people who themselves put a lot of effort into parties and events they organise, take the time to rsvp. CID, I'm sure you put a lot of time and effort into events. I like to have everything organised in advance - even wrapping sufficent layers for pass the parcel so that every child got a chance to unwrap a layer:-)

CanadianInDXB420

409

Posts

EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 19 March 2011 - 10:45

CID This is so disgusting.....Honestly make a list of those who did not respond and group them into 'never invite' on your mailing list. I hope women out there will read this, and know, that no matter where you come from, it is COMMON courtesy to respond either way. I have, VP. Never, ever again. I find that behaviour absolutely appalling and quite frankly don't want those kinds of 'friends'.

vero possumus37927

876

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 19 March 2011 - 10:40

This might seem mean but I didn't put the venue on invitations-then the parents had to call to find out where the party/event was being held-and i got a clearer idea of final numbers! O M G Genius of EW award of the year definately goes to you!!!!!

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