Nanny vs. Maid Argument

And while I realize this is not a direct analogy - are you saying that mothers who have 1, 2, 3 or more children who also look after their homes (wash, clean, cook dinner, do the school run) who have never had formal training in any of these areas and have little or no social support system (local family members) are unqualified to look after their homes, children and spouses? That being said - there are a multitude who do so, most find it very challenging, some who find it difficult to cope. However, as in many occupations there are those "lucky" few who are naturals. And some are lucky to have hired them - and these few are (for the most part) appreciated by the parents. These few and far between jewels also have the "luxury" of handing off their charges to their more than grateful parents and not have the 24/7 joy/stress/wonderfulness/scariness of their children everyday all day. (Which the parents have whether they are at home or not). I guess what I'm trying to say is don't paint every maid/nanny with the same brush if they don't have formal training - some have practical experience and a very few have a real instinctive knack. I am not trying to take anything away from a trained professional - but as an analogy, how many of us had teachers (trained professionals) who were garbage and perhaps mentors in the workplace who helped us learn and grow? <em>edited by marycatherine on 16/01/2011</em>

When I hear the word nanny I always think of Mary Poppins.. And yess, if I was RIICCCHH like Angelina Jolie, I am sure that a person like Natalie1 would be my standard. But unfortunately I am not rich and to be honest I am now a stay at home mother while I should actually be working because my husband and I are two of those "expats" who dont get villas or cars paid for us. If we miss the rent payment day, we will go to jail. I would have loved to hire a nice maid who could take care of my child while I am at work but after reading all those maid-horror stories on Expatwoman seems to me I will never be able to leave my child unattended with ANYBODY.

Good for you Natalie 1!!! It has always been my argument that maids are NOT nannies. I also thought it an insult to women who chose it as a profession and pursue higher education and obtain the necessary qualifications, none of which is necessary to be a maid. I highly doubt you make a grand salary of AED1800 per month and sleep in a room where a single bed wouldn't fit in it. Of course, the majority of women who have a maid, never had a nanny. I think it sounds nicer to one's own ear to say "the child/ren are with the nanny" rather than say "the child/ren are with the maid".

Your rant was well justified. Maids are not nannies.

I am a qualified nursery nurse but work as a nanny and have done for 20 years!! I get fed up when people in Dubai call maids 'nannies' They most definately are not!!! I went to college for two years where every other week was a practical placement and in college you learned about every aspect of childcare. Physical development, milestones, appropriate play and toys for their ages - what they learn from various activities. As well as food and nutrition, first aid, and other things all relating to children. This is my chosen profession not something I do as a means of making a bit of money, don't get me wrong as I am older and very experienced I do get perks now just like other professions when you are in them for a long time. All my time is spent playing, nurturing, caring for children - which I would not be able to do if I also have to clean all day - you cannot do both fully. Also I liase with teachers, doctors etc as well as proxy parenting when my employers are away - would you let your maid do that??? I organise all their activities, keep them stimulated and happy at home and out in their parents absence. Of course I am seen as a luxury and a maid may be all most people can afford but PLEASE don't say they are nannies!!! Most people who come on here saying they are looking for a nanny are not looking for someone like me are they??!! Rant over - just feel here my profession is deemed as if anyone can do it and that is not the case in my opinion.

I wouldn't employ a 16year-old babysitter in the UK to look after my children... instead I would ask a friend who has children the same age or my registered childminder. We, as mums, obviously aren't qualified, but we have a vested interest. We are programmed to want to nurture our own children and so will protect them to our greatest ability. Sure, sometimes we make mistakes, but we hold ourselves accountable for them. Choosing an outsider to look after our most prised asset is a big thing. Just as I go to a qualified and reputable doctor or dentist... or even car mechanic or builder, I would look for the same kind of standard in childcare. Some people don't, of course... they may choose to pass on due dilligence and go to a dodgy doctor, or chose the wheeler-dealer chap who calls round their house offering building services... but they then have no recourse if something goes wrong... and only themselves to blame. One thing that also strikes me, talking to a lot of the maids/nannies here is that, yes, they have children... but they had to leave them, often as babies, in order to come and work here. So, where exactly is that experience? They may have given birth, but are by no means bringing up their children by themselves. Also look at the family structure in the prospective maid/nanny's home country and how that may differ to the proposed child-care set-up. Do they live with their mother, sisters, sister-in-laws? Do they ever actually have to deal with a child 1-on-1 or is it a team-effort? Bringing up a child all on your own is a far cry from having a tight-knit support network - we all know that already. I don't know why people here are so eager to skip on all this. I just really don't get it. Is it because it's "the done thing" and simply the title "nanny" conjures up idealistic images of Victorian era grandeur? Should the role of a "nanny" in the Dubai sense just be complementary to a SAHM... ie the mum should still be present for most of the time? Is it just us Western mums who've twisted the role of maid/nanny to suit us as a very cheap childcare option while we pursue the Dubai Dream? ... and finally... would any of "us Western" mums employ an unqualified, unregistered and unchecked person to look after our children in our home countries? Didn't think so...

Yeah…GF, and why on the earth people spending money and time to become qualified nanny and KG teachers? Nurseries can employ anybody for that matter. ;) I believe the right way to do is employ qualified person to look after your child. You are going to the tailor to make your dress, not to the housekeeper. Why is should be different with the child care. Regarding family members, I guess you meant granny most of the time – so they definitely wouldn’t run and leave their little grand child alone for 8 hours. If it answers your question.

I don't think we can say that as parents we're only qualified to be maids. The children are OURS; there's an inbuilt need to protect them and make sure they have everything they need. For a maid, children might only be another part of the job - wash car, mob floor, scrub toilet, oversee child..... I think that ladies qualified as Nannies have a desire to be with children, look after them and protect them. Being a Nanny is a choice they've made. For many maids, looking after children isn't a choice but a task that is thrust upon them, whatever their opinion of children might be. Saying that, there are many unqualified maids who do a fantastic job of looking after kids. You have written a nice reply on this post - I would agree with your definition. I think there is always a risk leaving your child with anyone. We have a maid that does help with childcare at times. 3 years with us now and wonderful. You can have a qualified person too who has less than good intentions. If I had any doubt about our maid, she would not be with us. But I do not. We are all very fond of her and she has been nothing but good for our family. hand on my heart, I am not worried about leaving my DD wih her if I need to. I am lucky that with my work, I work around DD's nursery times so do not require our maid muh for childcare help.

And then you have nursery staff who are in that profession and yet be cruel and/or abusive... yet they should be the protecting, nurturing type...

Ooooo, good questions Gleek. I often think that people get unfairly lambasted on here for leaving their children with maids. I don't work so I'm lucky enough to never had to make the decision about their care during the day. However, I do occasionally go out in the evening when they are in bed and am quite happy to leave them in the care of our maid who has no qualifications or children of her own. She does however have common sense and a phone and I trust her to call me immediately should the need arise. I bet she has more of a clue about children than I did when I was struggling along with my first baby. And I also bet that she has waaaaay more of a clue than the teenage babysitters that myself and my brothers were very occasionally left with when we were kids. No harm came to us although one babysitter did get scorched hair from my improper use of a curling tong on her...

I don't think we can say that as parents we're only qualified to be maids. The children are OURS; there's an inbuilt need to protect them and make sure they have everything they need. For a maid, children might only be another part of the job - wash car, mob floor, scrub toilet, oversee child..... I think that ladies qualified as Nannies have a desire to be with children, look after them and protect them. Being a Nanny is a choice they've made. For many maids, looking after children isn't a choice but a task that is thrust upon them, whatever their opinion of children might be. Saying that, there are many unqualified maids who do a fantastic job of looking after kids.