big baby/narrow pelvis?

I had a similar experience to Shella. First baby was 3.8kg. Induced on due date as amniotic fluid was leaking (hindwaters had broken, apparently) and despite regular strong contractions nothing happened (failure to progress - possibly due to the fact that my cervix is tipped backwards). Resulted in emergency c-section. Second time around I was told that the baby was big and I was likely to end up in another emergency c-section after what happened last time round so I opted for planned c-section. (Baby was 4.1kg at 39 weeks). The whole experience second time round was so much better - calmer, in control, enjoyed it all (yes, really!) and the recovery was so much better as I wasn't so exhausted. As Shella said - there are no medals for natural/drug free or whatever. What is important is getting your baby out safely for you and the baby. Don't beat yourself up for choosing or not choosing a particular route - remember the end prize - your beautiful, precious baby. X

thank you ladies! I don't know why I feel ashamed about secretly wanting a c-section..i am keeping track of Peanut's size and if he/she seems to be turning into another 4 kg baby then c-section it is! I am feeling more in control and less in a panic with this c-section as it will be planned out in advance and not a manic emergency like last time...still remember al wasl nurses trying to feverishly remove my wedding ring and making me sign a consent form while being rushed into theater...I was put under completely and missed the birth of my baby. I have heard so much about One Born Every Minute..must look this up tonight! My first (born at The American Hospital) resulted in a emergency c-section due to being too big for my pelvis (born 39 weeks 3.9kg). I was in labour for 36 hours , dilated 2 cm's and baby couldn't crown because her head wouldn't fit (when I was told this I was hysterical expecting an abnormally huge head!!). My Doc was fab and checked on me at regular periods during the day despite being off duty, and came every 3 hours to check on me in the final hours. It was 10pm when he told me he really did not think I could deliver my DD naturally but would let me continue until 3am if I wanted. I was shattered and trusted his judgement so c-section it was. Proved to be the right decision after examinations and scans proved this to be the case. Second precnancy, weight of baby was monitored and as it crept over the 3kg point Doctor informed c-section it would have to be (DD born at 38 weeks 4kg). I felt like I was copping out too and felt a little bit of a failure too, as when you say to people you had a c-section you sometimes get that (too posh to push) look. It was only the wise words of my mother that made me feel better. She said' I have had 3 children all naturally, you have had 2 children by c-section. I didn't get a trophy or anything for being natural. I got healthy children, exactly the same as you got!' So true, although I did point out to her that I had something that she didn't....a lovely little scar which I do look at in a positive way and whenever I catch a glimpse of it I am reminded of the day my beauties were born. Anyway hope that helps. Sorry if I have waffled. Good luck.

btw if you do decide to go for a scheduled section, don't be scared of another failed epidural. You get a combined spinal/epidural which is a little higher up and doesn't result in the patches of sensation that a regular epidural can leave. Don't be scared to go for a natural birth either though, I knows loads of women who sailed through their second birth without issue despite their first labour ending in emergency c-section. My first c-section went so well though, I have to admit I would be sorely tempted to opt for the same again, except that the "no lifting, no driving" is much more of an issue with already having a toddler. Just keep an open mind and you'll be fine!

a really random link you might want to read about the "birthing space" and pelvic floor muscles I found it very interesting as it says that kegels are not necc the best idea and explains why everyone should be squatting, not just expectant mums http://mamasweat.blogspot.com/2010/05/pelvic-floor-party-kegels-are-not.html PS I had a c-section (baby was posterior hyper-flexed) and never thought of it as copping out, in fact I was terrified of the idea, although as it turns out it really wasn't all that bad and most importantly DS was safe. My Dr said that pelvis size/birthing space was pretty difficult to judge by looking at someone and position of the baby was far more important in terms of how easily you deliver.

wow thank you for sharing, Hord..sometimes they do say that c-section is the safest for baby even though it makes you feel like a cop-out at times :( ! c-sections aren't a cop out at all if they mean the baby is delivered safely. Just as Sweetlily says, look into hypnobirthing but above all, work at being at peace with whatever decision you may need to take during the birth. Most birth traumas (or simply the pain) are because women suddenly feel they're no longer in control of their own bodies or the situation. In some cases, like yours, their ability and confidence to give birth is undermined by hc professionals and others, they're just treated like a piece of meat and poked, prodded, pushed and cut without their consent. If you can, try to watch One Born Every Minute. It's on UK telly and follows a real maternity unit. I only watched last weeks episode, but it was lovely - not without some drama - but it just reminded me what a great approach to giving birth we have in the UK. Midwives deliver, so don't be concerned about the lack of OBGyn, but they are just wonderfully understanding, supportive and will back off if that's what they feel the parents want/need... but are just so completely on the ball if extra help is needed (there was one baby who did get stuck).

I had a similar problem My first child was 4.2 kg, I had a normal delivery but with a vacuum's help! my second was 3.6 kg and it was a normal delivery with no problems. My 3rd a baby girl (2 months old) was 3.935 .. I don't want to scare you, but I need to tell you this, because I wish I had known, and someone had told me before.. My delivery was complicated due to shoulder dystocia (a problem that happens with big babies- small moms) and she was stuck for 1 min. and has Erb's Palsy in her right hand.. It was a traumatic experience for me.. Thank God she started to move her hand and elbow recently... So we know the nerves are not completely damaged... But it still needs lots of physiotherapy ... To avoid this heartache if I had known I would've had a C section :( I hope no one will have to go through this thing.. Good luck with your delivery... All the best ..

That's great. Yes, I have heard some very questionable things about Al Wasl. Is that where you're booked this time around? I'm glad that your antenatal classes are helping. Have you looked into Hypnobirthing? That's what we use for our births (I don't want pain relief or any intervention including vaginal exams or monitoring - our personal choice) but hypnobirthing is very much a mindset and helps you get nice and relaxed for the birth and keeps you very relaxed during your labour. For the trauma I used EFT (http://eft.mercola.com/) and talked with a couple of counsellors. And yes, breaking your waters would very much have brought on a lot of contractions quickly. It is very much a form of induction and shouldn't be done as standard. It removes the nice cushion that the baby's head was resting on and jams it into your pelvis. If your waters are broken before baby is ready it increases the risk of him having the cord around his neck or of him being back to back and not in the greatest position. I think it should only be done as an alternative to a drug induction and, even then, only when medically indicated. Have you thought about getting a doula? It sounds like you could really benefit from one. I swear by them, as I said, I have two for this birth. :) There are loads of doulas in dubai if you google them. Or, I have a list also and can forward it to you if you want. [i'>Edited to add a different link. The first EFT link I posted didn't work.[/i'> <em>edited by SweetLily on 15/01/2012</em>

Congratulations on your pregnancy! I am really sorry to hear about your first experience. How are you mentally preparing for this birth? Sometimes it's the mental part that can hold us up in labour. When we go in with confidence and a clear mind, having put our previous births behind us, we can have a wonderful birth experience. Narrow pelvis/big baby is a very common reason that doctors tell mothers that they need a section. Unfortunately, the actual cases of narrow pelvis/big baby (or cephalopelvic disproportion, CPD) are very small. Doctors often rush labour, they don't let the mother birth undisturbed, they don't let her eat or drink or move around and all of these things make labouring naturally difficult. The hospital then has time constraints and reasons for a section are found. I am not saying that all doctors and hospitals are like this but the vast majority are, as research clearly shows. It is very possible (and common) for a mother who was diagnosed with CPD as you were to have a natural birth the second time and give birth to a baby who is larger than her first. Here are a few links to help you become informed: http://www.bellybelly.com.au/birth/small-pelvis-big-baby-cpd (This link also has some wonderful tips if you are worried like read up on optimal fetal positioning, hire a doula, etc.) http://birthnaturally.wordpress.com/2007/11/17/the-myth-of-cpd-cephalopelvic-disproportion-or-yes-you-can-birth-your-baby/ http://www.caesarean.org.uk/articles/Myths.html If you are still working through any trauma from your previous birth (and be careful because if it isn't worked through trauma can return during a second birth) there is a wonderful place called Lifeworks Counselling in Dubai where there is a special counsellor who works with mothers who have had birth trauma. I would very much recommend them. My story is actually similar to yours, I also had trauma from my first birth and lived with PTSD for many months. I am now expecting my second baby at the end of Feb/ beginning of March and have had to work through that previous trauma. I am a lot more educated and prepared this time around. I have hired two doulas and am very confident in where I am going to give birth. I know that this time around I will only have intervention if totally medically necessary. I hope all this helps. I wish you a wonderful birthing experience. xx