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EWmums

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ewmoda

Despairing over my fussy toddler

144

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 06 July 2012 - 20:13

My DS (2 yrs old) has gone from being such a fantastic eater, eating whatever I give him....to eating practically nothing. I am going out of my mind with frustration. One day he will eat a few pasta spirals with pesto, so I think 'Great!' and when I make it the next night, he doesn't want a bar of it. I often send him to bed without any dinner, simply because he won't eat anything. The amount of food I am wasting is ridiculous. The only thing he seems interested in eating is chips and those squeezy pouches. I refuse to give him chips for lunch and dinner every day. Anyone else been through this? Any tips?

TIA

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191

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 08 June 2017 - 15:13

Being consistent is important and it takes a lot of patience. I would not give my DD any alternatives and no snacks close to the meal times at all. As she grew up she realized there will be no treats if she wouldn't have her regular meals.

107

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 07 June 2017 - 11:34

Sometimes kids lose their appetite when they need to take vitamins. I would recommend that you talk to your doctor to make sure no deficiency exists.

2

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 06 June 2017 - 14:18

thank god i don't have such issues, my son is eating well whatever i am giving him!:biggrin:

319

Posts

EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 08 July 2012 - 22:03

We have been pretty lucky with DS (nearly 2.5years) - he has always had a pretty good appetite, but he definitely does the - wants to eat every mushroom in sight one night, to them being 'yucky' and not wanting to touch them the next. The things that seem to work for us, is that he grazes across the day - all relatively healthy snacks, but he still has 3 main meals, he is not allowed snacks until after he has his meal. I have recently got him helping me cook dinner - he helps pretty much every night now, it is lovely quality time for him and I (I have a 4 month old, so this is one of the times during the day that is exclusively him and I). He genuinely loves it, and it seems to make him excited about eating the dinner he has helped. I get him to stir pots (off the element - so he isnt going to get burned), get things out of the fridge, name the vegetables, open packets, put things in the water in the pots. He also likes making 'cakes' - so he helps making scones, cheesecakes, muffins - don't get me wrong it can get hugely messy, but it is really fun! Also, does DS have little friends that are good eaters? Perhaps having sit-down time for snacks or meals during playdates can help, they tend to like to do things when their friends are doing them as well... Not sure if that helps at all!

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 08 July 2012 - 20:26

When children are around two years old they go through a teenager phase. They suddenly realize that they are not in control of anything in their lives and want to assert their indepence. They know that you want them to eat and they are aware that they have control of their own eating. However, you must remain (calmly!) in charge of this area. You must however, try to think of some areas whereby your LO can choose.Not major stuff , but maybe when buying apples or the like "shall we choose these ones or these?" Any decisions you allow your child to make must be ones you are happy to continue with and that will not ultimately make you loose control. It's all mind games , I tell you! These two year olds were sent to try us!

295

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 08 July 2012 - 16:20

Sounds like you are doing everything right, but maybe don't buy pouches or chips so they are not even in the house as a last resort. If mt DS doesn't eat his dinner he doesn't eat, he eats lots for breakfast and lunch most days anyway. My niece has my brother running rings at dinner time coming up with 5 or 6 different dishes - rod for his own back. My issue is how to stop the nanny giving him cupcakes!

144

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 08 July 2012 - 15:48

Thanks everyone so so much for your replies. It has made me feel much better - you have no idea! Greenish - I absolutely love the idea of 'try something new Tuesdays' - I think DS is a bit young yet to understand that concept but I will most definitely be implementing that if this fussiness continues when he is older. And Cymraes - thanks for the pep talk and reminding me that I am boss! It's all too easy to just give in and give them what they want but yes, I need to stand my ground. I think my biggest fear is that DS is becoming a lazy eater. The pouches are so easy for him - no real work required - and I think it's easy to fall into the trap of just giving it to them because they DO contain fruit and vegetables.

3220

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 07 July 2012 - 15:15

My DS (2 yrs old) has gone from being such a fantastic eater, eating whatever I give him....to eating practically nothing. I am going out of my mind with frustration. One day he will eat a few pasta spirals with pesto, so I think 'Great!' and when I make it the next night, he doesn't want a bar of it. I often send him to bed without any dinner, simply because he won't eat anything. The amount of food I am wasting is ridiculous. The only thing he seems interested in eating is chips and those squeezy pouches. I refuse to give him chips for lunch and dinner every day. Anyone else been through this? Any tips? TIA I could have written the exact words...My DS suddenly stopped eating/started eating very little at two years old as well. He is currently 4 years old. Still a bad eater but healthy and strong and growing. Doctor told me not to worry. He has never seen a toddler starve themselves to death! Lol! He also told me I will look back on these days and wish for them again when my DS is a teenager raiding the fridge empty! Those words still get me through the day when my DS is not eating again. It doesnt seem to affect his health or growth it seems.

7

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 07 July 2012 - 15:10

My son only ate 4 teaspoons of anything for years. He drank milk and we relied on that. I spent hours trying to be a "good" mother and bought organic this and that, made everything from scratch and he was never interested. He did look healthy though and was always full of energy. He wasn't really interested in food until he reached 12. Since then he hasn't stopped eating! I remember being so anxious, but he presumably ate what he needed at the time. He is now 6'0'' !

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EW EXPERT

Latest post on 07 July 2012 - 09:17

Green-ish, our daughter is the same as your boy. Up til aged 2 she ate vorociously and everything, and it seemed over night that her eating changed. We called it going on the white food diet...pasta, bread, egg whites, bananas...and nothing else at all. There were days when I counted garlic bread (homemade) as a vege serving. Nothing worked...bribary did for a time, grim determination and making a fuss about it, not at all. Being like me she just dug her heels in and became more opposed. Like you we just took her intake for the whole day rather than each meal. All snacks whenever she wanted so no big emphasis on meals but no junk food and juices. Juice is allowed when you've been out doing stuff in the heat. If I really started to get anxious about the fruit and vege thing, we just made smoothies...she'll eat anything if she thinks it has ice cream in it ;) And like your boy...at age 7 she is now finally and slowly broadening her tastes, sometimes trying and enjoying new things and surprising herself in the process. Thank goodness.

1403

Posts

EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 07 July 2012 - 08:38

We're just seeing the end of this phase with DD (21 months) now, though I absolutely know and expect it to be a reoccurring phase. For the past 4 months or so she has been the fussiest eater. Before that it felt like some days she'd eat more than us, she would eat bowl after bowl of fresh steamed veges, then overnight she turned her nose up at them, plus other fav foods of hers. Its so frustrating but after a while I just went with it. Offered her a variety of foods and she'd eat what she wanted. The fact that sometimes she hardly ate a thing for lunch/dinner some days yet still slept through the night told me that she obviously wasn't starving herself. Its only now she is once again enjoying her fav foods and eating well. Still not how she used to be, but compared to the past few months, a LOT better, so I am over the moon. With DD now I am quite strict on no snacking between meals, this way I am finding she has a better appetite at meal time. I also truly believe that they do get bored with the same foods over and over. This I was guilty of with certain foods. I know its hard seeing the amount of wasted food but the way I looked at it was I had to offer it to her in the hope that she DID eat it. Some days she did, other days she didn't. But when she's older I am totally not opposed to a little bribery here and there ;)

2340

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EW EXPERT

Latest post on 07 July 2012 - 08:06

My son will be 7 later this month and he has been unbearably fussy since he was 2. I tell you this not to depress you :D but to make the point that the 'phase' can last for years. My brother-in-law became fussy at 2 yrs old, and now at 38 is the most fussy human being I know! So many great suggestions below. All I have ever done is banned all rubbish foods when my son is particularly fussy and served meals from platters at the centre of the table. I know this is the norm in many cultures, but not in our meat-and-three-veg Aussie upbringing. ;) We all take our own food from the platters and the rule is that my son must choose at least three things to eat. We've done this since he was 2 and he understood pretty much straight away. I do not worry about how much he eats, only that he chooses and tries three different foods. To make sure he has eaten enough and well, I have also always allowed him to snack on anything nutritious that takes his fancy during the day. No pressure on formal meals and I look at his intake over the whole day. 5 looooooong years later he's finally happily trying 'new' foods. We have instigated "Try Something New Tuesday" :D so every Tuesday he must choose something he usually rejects and at least taste it. I love it when he decides that food is delicious and has that 'ah-ha' moment, realising what he's missed out on for so long. My long-winded point, the 'phase' may last for years so it's worth coming up with some long-term, manageable strategies. Good luck!

MommyOficially17027

182

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 07 July 2012 - 00:19

Ah dont get me wrong guys, im not threatening but just bribing hahaha, tom and jerry if he emties his buzz lightyear cup :) With food he Just comes n asks what he wants from the age of 2. I keep the fridge door open for him and ask him what he would like On bottom shelve i always packes cut veggies and fruits and cheese and eggs so he usually went for that but now he reaches higher so he sees everything hahahaha

1530

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EW EXPERT

Latest post on 06 July 2012 - 23:06

Yes, so many of my close friends who have small children seem to despair of two things - getting their kids to eat and getting them to sleep! And often many bribes and threats and tears are the result of formal meal times.

5400

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 06 July 2012 - 23:04

Love the "unfooding" thing, absosmurfly. 17 year old dorter self-indoctrinated that one and is fine and healthy-dandy, thank you very much :)

1530

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 06 July 2012 - 22:55

Dont have a lo but finding this fascinating. The idea of unfooding where kids can forage and find food whenever they are hungry, very interesting. And so many healthy ways to get extra nutrients into them - well, I may try those recipes on my Dh

kiwispiers15400

2782

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 06 July 2012 - 22:53

flydiver, secret for lazy custard is to use the microwave and blender (not food processer) blend whole eggs and milk at the start then microwave a minute or two at time stopping o whisk, don't stress if it starts to look like scarmbled eggs, just whack it in the blender while still hot. we do the milkshake too, although without threats/punishments (we are much more the unfooding approach I guess) anyway milkshake (just milk plus fruit, apples, berries, banana etc) is always a huge hit anyway, especially in a cup with a straw.

MommyOficially17027

182

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 06 July 2012 - 22:26

I agree with bellow statement. Esp mornings i have 2 boiled eggs on table and 3 to 4 fried eggs, than some cucumbers cut up, some carrots, some cheese, bread, shredded chicken and some oats and fresh made milkshake(yogurt, strawberry, banana and a splash of milk...there is no need for sugar at all) The milkshake is not an option but a must and if he doesnt drink the whole cup than he gets no tv, it used to be bad at first since he loves eating n watching tv at the same time. But if he doesnt eat he doesnt get anything, no toys, no playing with mommy, no colors and most certainly no playing outside and no pool. This kinda makes him eat pretty much what ever i put in front of him which is sooo awesome for me :) But ya he does still have days when he hardly touches any food at all and i just leave him, since we as adults also have some times off days when we just dont feel like eating anything at all I also used to always eat in front of him and make sounds to let him know how delicious it was... So he used to get all curious and instantly come to check out what mommy is eating all on her own

9

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 06 July 2012 - 21:49

There's also an approach called 'unfooding' which I believe means that you take all the ritual out of food. Children don't have to sit down at the table if they don't want to ( though after a while they usually do). Different kinds of foods are left in various places for them, which they eat throughout the day, with absolutely no pressure from parents. I haven't adopted this approach wholesale, mind you, but what I like about it is that it gives children total responsibility over their own eating. If they dont want to sit st the table, fine. If they don't want to eat anything at all, fine. They will never starve themselves, and if they know no one's going to be nagging them about food, they're much more likely to eat. Kind of like adults, really. My two and a half year old sometimes goes two days when all she'll have is half a banana and a glass of juice, and though I am tempted to nag her to eat more, I try my best not to. I find after a while she gets hungry and eats everything I give her. So, don't stress, your son will be absolutely fine.

flydiver1136092

504

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 06 July 2012 - 21:11

My usually good eater has gone off his favorites since we got back from holidays. All he wants at dinnertime is breadsticks, biscuits and yogurt. But Ive just had the best night. Because after he refused his chicken and barley soup that he used to love, I gave up and went directly for the yogurt. Which he downed in 5 seconds. Then I thought Ill give washing out the yogurt tub and filling it with soup. Then he gobbled up the soup that he had refused a few minutes ago with a big smile and a nod. Its not ideal but it gets the job done. KW... mine loves homemade fish fingers, especially when they are made with crushed up cornflake crust and baked in the oven so they are crunchy. We make a big batch, with meatballs or chicken balls (made with grated apple, zucchini or what ever in them) and freeze them in batches. They are a big hit at lunch served with rice or pasta as they are easy to stab with his fork. Dinner can be hit and miss with them though, depending on the day, how full or tired he is. Fish poached in milk with rice, peas and broccoli added at the end, can also be a great hit, so maybe worth a try if he likes fish. You can leave it creamy by leaving in more milk. Ive never made custard, but will give it a go tomorrow.

858

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EW GURU

Latest post on 06 July 2012 - 20:57

Oh Mellie I feel your pain. Like cymraes I also have the T-shirt, well worn. And her advice is sound. My sister, who has also done a course about this said that you can try sitting with your LO whilst he eats and describe what he eats, such as "ooh look at that lovely crunchy orange carrot, doesn't it look yummy?" and "how many peas can you scoop up?" and such like. It takes a while but apparently can help! I tried praise, punishment, timers... and nothing worked. She is 4 now and with persistance is pretty good. The only thing I would really stress is to NOT GIVE IN!! It can be hard to take the food away and then end up giving in an hour or so later as your LO is saying how hungry they are... stay strong!

kiwispiers15400

2782

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 06 July 2012 - 20:54

yes mine too, the inconsistency gets me the most, one night its his favorite, the next its yucky! I have been making a lot of "custard" lately which is actually just lots of eggs cooked with milk and blended to be smooth like custard. He seems to be off eggs any other way now so I figure its good protein and if I blend a banana through then good potassium too. I also try to give him meat/vegies for lunch, it seems to be less of a battle and then it doesn't really matter if dinner ends up being yogurt and fruit. He enjoyed fish fingers lately, so I'm going to have a crack at making them myself, also home made chicken nuggets, little sausage type things etc and shredded chicken as a snack also seems to go down well. New cutlery seems to make dinner more exciting too, suddenly he will eat his carrots because he can eat them with a new fork! I think its just a phase, DS has always been an awesome eater, so I try not to push it or take it personally, I did read its an evolutionary protective thing for toddlers to get fussy (so little cave babies didn't wander off an eat poisonous stuff etc) anyway I don't like to make food/eating into a discipline thing so if he doesn't like it I do just ask him what he'd like and give him that, rather than send him to bed hungry.

1430

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EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 06 July 2012 - 20:41

stick to your guns, he will not starve himself - been there got the t-shirt xxx Don't make a big issue out of it, make his dinner ... encourage him to eat is, if he doesn't, take it away and don't make a fuss or offer an alternative, then try again at next meal time - mum is in charge! Strength to you Mellie123, my DS is 14 same rules apply!

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