IVF at 40+

Hi Moth I'm also sorry that I'm responding so late. I am so very sorry to hear what you have been through. I have tried natural ivf but cannot give an accurate picture for the simple reason I was unlucky as couldn't implant and my egg did not survive the freezing. Who knows what would have happened if it had...i do think I would consider it again though, just not yet. I did a lot of research about it before we decided to go for it and I like the theory behind it i.e. no drugs, the best egg your body chooses to produce and I do think this is the healthiest approach. I so know what you mean about being absolutely paralyzed with indecision and so fearful about my age (I am 41.5 eek!). Each of us is different but I hope it helps to know that you are not alone in this and I think I speak for fandrew too (hope that's ok fandrew!) when I say we have all been there and know exactly the pain and despair you are feeling. You have people here who can 'virtually' support you at anytime. It really does only take one good egg as fandrew says and, that is EXACTLY what natural ivf aims for. I say go for it! Good luck and please remember you are NEVER alone through all of this. The ladies on here have been an enormous help to me and I hope you will feel the same. xxx edited to add I couldnt transfer (not implant!) <em>edited by confusion on 06/01/2013</em>

Hi everyone, I have never posted before but have been lurking and reading your IVF stories for a while. The over 40 thread compelled me to reply because I'm in the same situation as many of you. I am TTC #1 and just turned 40. I have been pregnant twice in the last year and a half, but I had to terminate the pregnancies because of a genetic disorder my husband and I carry (recessive disorder so 25% chance each time). After the second termination, my cycles started to change, and we've had issues conceiving for the last eight months. I thought I would find success with IVF, but unfortunately, my numbers are dismal (AMH 0.4 ng/ml and highest FSH 12). I started off at DGFC, but they sent me away. I started a cycle at Fakih a week or so ago, and not surprisingly, did not respond well to stimulation. They told me to stop the meds and I am now doing a natural IVF cycle. I know that the odds of conceiving are slim, but I feel I have to do everything I can before giving up and moving on to donor eggs. I don't want to look back and have regrets. Has anyone else done a natural IVF cycle? And had success? I would love to hear any experiences you have had. I have read that the success rates are low compared to traditional IVF, but I figure that the chances of conceiving with some help are better than trying on my own. Traditional IVF just doesn't seem to be an option for me. How are you all coping emotionally with this process? I find I am often paralyzed with indecision: should I try naturally? minimal stimulation IVF? IUIs? Go to the States to a clinic that specializes in over 40s? Move on to donor eggs now? I also find the cycle of hope and despair debilitating. Every month, there's a glimmer of hope that maybe I'll beat the odds, and then it's dashed with the arrival of my period. I somehow manage to do my job and keep keep up with life, but I feel I'm at the verge of falling apart. This is hard. Moth

This is the clinic I went to and was successful, VUB Brussels, http://www.brusselsivf.be/default.aspx?lang=EN I think they do IVF up to age 45. They have an International Department to assist overseas patients. ARGC in London. IVI in Valencia (also have an International Department) These were the 3 top European clinics when I started cycling 10 years ago, might have changed now though, but google them and see. Cornell in New York is the renowned as the best infertility clinic worldwide, I think they have a special unit for 'older' patients. If I remember correctly, they will do an initial phone consult if you can get your medical file to them. CCRM in Denver, they have amazing success rates for the 'older' patient. The very best of luck to all of you struggling with infertility.

Thanks fandrew. Good luck to you. I would definitely be interested in hearing about the other clinics too. Kooky - you have made my day :)

Ladies I don't know much about IVF, but 40 + is not a fertility sentence. I just had No 3 at 44. The 40's are the new 30's - really, try to relax, you DO have time.

I would also like to say how great the posts from the other lovely ladies on here have just made myself and my hubby feel. I read them to him as he is already convinced a break will 'help' us. If nothing else this gives us a little ray of hope that miracles can and my happen - even to an old croc like me. ;) Thank you all.xx

Hi fandrew I am sorry to hear of the anguish you are currently going through and I say that most sincerely as I really can relate to it having been through multiple cycles of ivf myself here in Dubai with 2 clinics. I won't bore you with my detailed history but I have got pregnant 3 times (2 with Conceive and 1 with Fakih) but sadly chemical pregnancy & miscarriages. It is so confusing (hence my name!) as to what to do next and even harder when time is not on our side (I am 41). I have very recently miscarried and it hit me very very hard this time and I do strongly believe now though that I have to give my body and mind a rest. I also have to give my husband a rest as it's easy to forget the stress it puts on them too. It is a heartbreaking and stressful process and I dont think anyone has any idea at all until they go through it - I certainly didn't. I for one plan on having a break now and looking after myself and my amazing husband despite the nagging 'I have no time left' feeling. I feel there really is no other way. I want to embrace 2013 as a fresh start and a new year - I just wish that didnt mean an additional year to my 'vintage' either lol. If ever you fancy a chat let me know - it's a tough situation and it's good to talk to people who have been/are there. I met the most amazing friend through this site and without her I think I would have crumbled over the last couple of months. Take care of yourself and if you celebrate Christmas just concentrate on enjoying it and taking that rare chance to eat and drink what you like! :) xxx

Don't give up, if you can travel outside the UAE than you should do so, you really will increase your chances of a successful cycle. The US has some of the best clinics if you can afford it financially and logistically. I had 6 failed IVF's. in my case they were all 'technically perfect' cycles and produced great embryos' but I never had a pregnancy. I was basically told adoption or donor eggs was my only option. I researched and researched to find the best clinics in Europe at that time, made my choice, changed clinics and travelled to another country and did an IVF cycle which gave us our first daughter. I subsequently had another failed IVF, then a successful IVF and then got pregnant naturally. There are some great clinics in London, I went to a clinic in Brussels which is up there with the US clinics, another friend of mine travelled to the same clinic and was successful, she was 42 at the time (also several failed IVF's elsewhere). There is another world class clinic in Valencia, Spain. They won't write you off just yet, you are still 'only' 40, by the time you get to 42 + it will get more difficult but still not impossible. I know a few people who have done unsuccessful cycles in the UK and because their funds and time was running out they went to Czech Rep for less expensive treatment and little or no waitlists and had successful pregnancies. All the best and good luck !

I've not been through IVF but have many friends who did. I suffered multiple miscarriages over a number of years and resigned myself to the fact that I probably would never have a child of my own. when I was least expecting it I found myself pregnant (naturally) at 41 and again at 43! I now have a boy and a girl who are such fun. The reason I am responding to you is to give you hope that maybe if you give your body a rest you might find you fall pregnant naturally. You know, from earlier that you CAN get pregnant so that's a good thing. Now you just need help to hold onto the pregnancy and be able to deliver a healthy baby. I had to deliver early for my first but was looked after beautifully (in the UK) and felt really well. I was monitored closely and looked after myself. Why did you not stay with the Fakih clinic? They have a good reputation and, having got you pregnant I would have thought it would have been a good plan to stay with them as they know you. I would give myself a 6 months break - pamper yourself, eat beautiful fresh food, relax and indulge in some relaxing treatments - if after 6 months you are not pregnant naturally I would go back to the clinic where you had a good result and have another try. My sister in law had a number of failed ivf treatments and decided on one last time and she now has the most gorgeous little girl. She was not able to have a child naturally so this was her only chance of having a baby. I wish you lots of luck - it is worth all the tears and anguish. Remember above all though to look after yourself and your husband.

Only your Doctors can advise to continue or stop based on your medical history. However here is something that may help. Two of my closest friends both spent years having nearly every procedure known to man to get pregnant. One spent 5 years the other three years. The procedures were very invasive and put huge stress on both parties. Both were told to stop and take a break, both were told the chances of getting preggers naturally were almost zero. Once treatment stopped and they had come to terms with the reality they both got pregnant and have both delivered. Normal pregnancies and one has had another child. One was 40 the other 36, both had tried for years naturally. The point of telling you this is that sometimes there are no answers and just sometimes the weirdest things can happen. Good luck. Maybe post on an IVF forum or mumsnet.