I need some guidance....your the girls for the job!

DH moved back to the UK from Dubai at the end of April this year. The papers couldn't be served in Dubai because his job had him posted to Afghanistan for months at a time and a process server couln't be used. (Numerous military bases. Though he is not military, he was there through choice). There have been a couple of other niggly financial issues on my part that needed sorting but finally Im in a position to proceed. I looked after our son on my own here in the UK while i work as a nurse part time. My family are in Ireland so rarely had 'time out' to breathe untill he came back as his family only saw our son an a thursday afternoon. Up untill Christmas this year he tried everyting to woo me back. Trips abroad, Jewellery, money gifts and the like. But thats the life i left. Thats what i was used to.....a material solution to a problem rather than a shoulder to cry on. Since returning to the UK he has followed closely my every move (not to stalker level) so he clearly is still interested in there being an 'us'. He claims not to have met anyone else. There is no one involved on my part either.

Thankyou so much Ladies. It means a lot because its so difficult to think clearly when emotions are running high xx

Then there are the families on both sides to consider. His family don't speak to me because i walked out on him. My family and close friends who have provided endless support and comfort would think i had finally gone and lost my marbles!

That's very kind of you Pinkleton, but im in the UK with the rain, cold, grey clouds and a foggy head!

At the time it felt to me that I no longer loved him......Even now I'm still not 100% sure. I know for a fact I didn't fancy him or didnt want him anywhere near me....but that may just have been the circumstances we were in. Our son is growing (4yrs) and loves us both so much...sometimes i feel like i failed at being the best mother i could be because i walked out on him having together parents. I also recognise that one of the main reasons we parted was because i felt unsupported, when in truth the challenges that i have faced since being alone show that he was supportive (to a small extent). I think my husband would give it a go. But I know he would want to know all the details of every hour since we parted. I worry that he may over time, let these fester and eventually it would manifest other issues.

I know its been a loooooong while since I posted, but I'm approaching a very serious point in my life and I just need some external, non biased opinions from real people. Maybe some of you have been in a similar situation yourselves. Deep Breath....... Ok so here goes. I decided to leave my husband in late 2009. We had been through some tough times including infertility (me), parental death, job loss, unsucessful IVF, loss of one of our twin babies (sucessful ivf), postnatal depression, a move to Dubai (reluctant on my part), home sickness plus all the other regular stressess couples go through. We pulled in opposite directions. I decided to leave Duabi and go home to the UK, he remained out in the middle east, we didn't see eachother for 22 weeks and at Christmas 2009 I ended the relationship. My husband was devastated but I was determined to move on with my life. I felt unsupported and not heard despite numerous attempts at seriously trying to communicate with him. He promised to change, like he had done previously. For numerous reasons divorce proceedings have been delayed until now. The papers have gone to the courts this week so things are finally happening. The thing is...I need to know if its perfectly normal to get cold feet.... We have not lived as man and wife since June 2009. We parent our child equally, and are very much united when it comes to our son. There is no custody battle, no argueing about how to parent him, no battling for money. We are both guilty of doing things that have annoyed or upset each other since we broke up. Sometimes we can talk amicably and other times tempers flare. Like every break-up, there have been some very low points for both of us. I need some words of wisdom from you please. Family and friends are biased. Should i keep running for the hills and leave it to history? Is it ever possible to go back? I need to be sure before i make this life changing step.....