RebeccaS, that is the same question I am asking but husbad won't risk anything bad happening to her, he's afraid she'll be dumped in the street and left to die. Or they could take her flat away from her (my favourite option), pay her debts and leave her the rest of the mortgage to live off. This is in Greece, where social security is minimal and as you know, the country's finances are in a mess, so heaven help her..
However I'm sounding about this, Derien, I do understand how you feel about your ma-in-law and your son's hair, that sort of behaviour is just not on. But believe me, mothers-in-law can do much, much worse :)
Sorry to sound unsympathetic, but I've just found out that my mother-in-law has been summonsed to court for non-payment of thousands of euros on her credit cards, which she'd lied to us about paying off the minimum monthly amount and we're going to have to pay it all off ourselves. Your son's hair will grow back, we'll never get the tens of thousands of euros of our money my mother-in-law has spent over the last 20 years back, in fact we are in debt because of her..
Oh that is aweful, I'm so sorry to hear that. My problems are trival next to yours
Oh, Derien, I'm so sorry to sound unsympathetic, I should be used to my ma-in-law and her expectation that we will bail her out every time she gets into a financial mess, but, yet again, just when I thought we were finally getting into the black financially, we're faced with yet another huge debt of hers.. We're 55, we should be on an even keel financially and we're just not and it's so annoying. At least she's got her health ;) (She's nearly 90 and bedridden.)
Sorry to divert from the OP (totally understand how you feel Derien) but would like to offer support for simpleasabc's predicament. Not sure where your home country is, but I was an elderly specialist in the field of vulnerable adults in the UK. There is no way she would be persued for this debt in these circumstances ( 90, bedridden, vulnerable etc), especially if there was some criticism of the credit card lenders making it so accessible to people who may not be capable of making informed decisions etc. You can distance yourselves - you have no liability to pay her debts off. Age Concern would be good advocates, or CAB or the local Social Services Dept. Sorry you are having this worry. x
I would be fuming too. In fact, my husband does not like me leaving our boys with his mother for the very reason he thinks she will cut their hair. When we were there the other day, the oldest wanted to stay over, I messaged my husband and he came straight back with specific instructions for his mother not to touch his hair.
Simplasabc, if your mother in law is nearly 90 what would happen to her if she did not pay it?
That's terrible simpleasabc, what an awful situation to have been put in.
Derien, in light of what you said, she made your son to do something that he found very upsetting and that was also obviously against your wishes. Which makes it not really about his hair but about her total lack regard for him, or you.
I'd be getting him back immediately if he's not already back and letting her know that she won't be with him again unsupervised until he's old enough to stand up to her.
I sent me children to my Parents-in-law for two weeks as a favor for them ( and the kids)
When we skyped the kids this afternoon, my MIL had thought it would be a good idea to get my son's hair cut without asking me. He had beautiful long hair.
I am fuming, Would you be upset?
Oh God!
tell me about the in lows!
I was with my FIL and MIL and she managed to have my baby's first hair cut without telling me! I just wanted to do this for him - as it was his first ever hair cut yet she took this from me!
The problem is they think they know better than us, and take our right for doing things in our way with our kids, and no one disputed this when they were raising their kids!
sorry for this, it will grow back, just educate your kids that this matters is only concurs the parents, they have to seek mum and dad's acceptance for stuff like this, yes granddad and granmum are loved but they are not the one they seek permits from.
just get over this, when you pick up the kids, tell her that you are the mum, and next time she wants to give a hair cut to any of her grandchildren she have to get the permeation from you first.
The MIL of my cousin did the same to my cousins child. She screamed at her, but i think She would cut his hair again... Anyway i would make it clear, that this is not her decission, just because she thinks long hair is not acceptable.
I did shout a lot and I am furious. My mother in law has overstepped the boundaries and she knew what her limits were. My son cried and screamed the whole way through as he loved his long hair.
In would be very cross, especially as your son didn't even want it cut....a very strong word is needed from yourself and dh....
Sorry to sound unsympathetic, but I've just found out that my mother-in-law has been summonsed to court for non-payment of thousands of euros on her credit cards, which she'd lied to us about paying off the minimum monthly amount and we're going to have to pay it all off ourselves. Your son's hair will grow back, we'll never get the tens of thousands of euros of our money my mother-in-law has spent over the last 20 years back, in fact we are in debt because of her..
Oh that is aweful, I'm so sorry to hear that. My problems are trival next to yours
Oh, Derien, I'm so sorry to sound unsympathetic, I should be used to my ma-in-law and her expectation that we will bail her out every time she gets into a financial mess, but, yet again, just when I thought we were finally getting into the black financially, we're faced with yet another huge debt of hers.. We're 55, we should be on an even keel financially and we're just not and it's so annoying. At least she's got her health ;) (She's nearly 90 and bedridden.)
i dont dare leave my son with my mil/fil even for 10 min
they would yes cut his hair, feed him only chocolates till he pops and allow him to drink cola and eat fried items.
they try it every time when they come over but i just say no and usually kinda forcefully put LO to sleep
Sorry to sound unsympathetic, but I've just found out that my mother-in-law has been summonsed to court for non-payment of thousands of euros on her credit cards, which she'd lied to us about paying off the minimum monthly amount and we're going to have to pay it all off ourselves. Your son's hair will grow back, we'll never get the tens of thousands of euros of our money my mother-in-law has spent over the last 20 years back, in fact we are in debt because of her..
Oh that is aweful, I'm so sorry to hear that. My problems are trival next to yours
I did shout a lot and I am furious. My mother in law has overstepped the boundaries and she knew what her limits were. My son cried and screamed the whole way through as he loved his long hair.
Sorry to sound unsympathetic, but I've just found out that my mother-in-law has been summonsed to court for non-payment of thousands of euros on her credit cards, which she'd lied to us about paying off the minimum monthly amount and we're going to have to pay it all off ourselves. Your son's hair will grow back, we'll never get the tens of thousands of euros of our money my mother-in-law has spent over the last 20 years back, in fact we are in debt because of her..
Will it grow back? Is it something you want to have as a cause of a family rift? Did your son agree to it (I don't know how old he is - does he have input into his own appearance)?
Be miffed, I probably would be too, but it's also something that will remedy itself over time. However, I would tell MIL that such decisions should be discussed with you and DH in future and your decision will stand.
I sent me children to my Parents-in-law for two weeks as a favor for them ( and the kids)
When we skyped the kids this afternoon, my MIL had thought it would be a good idea to get my son's hair cut without asking me. He had beautiful long hair.
I am fuming, Would you be upset?