My husband has moved his father in! | ExpatWoman.com
 

My husband has moved his father in!

1811
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 03 January 2011 - 22:31
Ask him when he's leaving. Ask your other half when he's leaving. If that fails, take him to see some nice small apartments not so far away from your home and start filling in sponsorship forms for him. Then find him a Filippina maid, if these boards are anything to go by, he'll have another interest shortly! Love it! Best response, he'll be happy as Larry if you do this xx and the maid/housekeeper will be too. It could be a dream come true all round:-)
179
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 03 January 2011 - 22:30
Ask him when he's leaving. Ask your other half when he's leaving. If that fails, take him to see some nice small apartments not so far away from your home and start filling in sponsorship forms for him. Then find him a Filippina maid, if these boards are anything to go by, he'll have another interest shortly! Love it! Best response, he'll be happy as Larry if you do this xx
3901
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 03 January 2011 - 22:30
can you not just explain to him the visa issue... (you don't have to let on that he can do a visa run - pretend your husband's company won't allow it....). Goood luck :) Am not sure there is a visa issue - am pretty sure that you can sponsor your parents ..... not a hundred percent sure so could be wrong.... I didn't think so - i know you can't sponsor adult children..unless he employs FIL as the gardener lol (not even sure you can do that either !!)
54
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 03 January 2011 - 22:28
Or you could send him to bali...or even the Philippines--he could live like a king in Manila!
5400
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 03 January 2011 - 22:24
Ask him when he's leaving. Ask your other half when he's leaving. If that fails, take him to see some nice small apartments not so far away from your home and start filling in sponsorship forms for him. Then find him a Filippina maid, if these boards are anything to go by, he'll have another interest shortly!
2222
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 03 January 2011 - 22:18
can you not just explain to him the visa issue... (you don't have to let on that he can do a visa run - pretend your husband's company won't allow it....). Goood luck :) Am not sure there is a visa issue - am pretty sure that you can sponsor your parents ..... not a hundred percent sure so could be wrong....
54
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 03 January 2011 - 22:14
...where I come from we firmly believe that inlaws make the worst house guests. if i had them i'd push em off a cliff. since you seem like a nicer person, it's only fair that you ask your dh when this hostile take over of your home will end. it's your basic right. you've been disturbed and you have graciously put up with it.
3901
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 03 January 2011 - 22:10
can you not just explain to him the visa issue... (you don't have to let on that he can do a visa run - pretend your husband's company won't allow it....). Goood luck :)
112
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 03 January 2011 - 19:44
i would personally just say it out to the FIL that his attitude and behaviour is horrid bla bla bla... i mean if he can talk like that, surely he can take whatever you throw at him! if he nags to you DH then just shrug and tell him you certainly has learnt a a trick or two from him. 'old' as he is, it is habit he will nvr changed. and people like him don't take subtle!
8
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 03 January 2011 - 17:58
Read this board It will save your life and marriage http://community.babycenter.com/groups/a4725/dealing_with_the_in_laws_and_foo_family_of_origin
740
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EW GURU
Latest post on 03 January 2011 - 17:52
Suggest your husband rent him a studio apartment somewhere That sounds like the most logical solution. He is not elderly and can still spend time with your family without it becomming overbearing.
1337
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 03 January 2011 - 17:48
Nobbles - this could only have ever worked if it had been planned, planned and planned again. To have the situation thrust on you like this is awful. Your FIL isn't an old man and I think the time has come for his future to be sorted out even if it means asking just how is wife could throw him out and leave him apparantly homeless. If he's to stay here with you in Dubai he needs a life for himself and in turn you'll get a life back as well. Perhaps start by asking what the situation is in the Uk with regards to property and just what he has there that could be the start of his new life as a single older man.
43
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 03 January 2011 - 17:29
Most probably he feels lonely. You are his only company. Couldn't you get him to join bridge, golf, <fill in the blanks> club where he can meet other people and hopefully make some friends. Introducing him to all of those places now may prove to be a very good investment as the tension is already building. Imagine the two of you in a few months or weeks.
96
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 03 January 2011 - 17:13
Can you talk to the DH about establishing some ground rules: i.e. no smoking indoors, 2 drinks per day, he must do some form of exercise OUT by himself each day (walk, swim etc.), he must find some kind of volunteer job, or whatever you think that might help him be a bit happier/ nicer to be around? We had this problem with MIL for three months a year, but getting her up off her duff and doing things has made it a MUCH better situation when she comes. She is now very happy to come here and meet up with her friends, take up her volunteer work etc. Other than extra laundry, she is basically self-sufficient. Which she SO was NOT when this first started. Hugs, best of luck.
1236
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 03 January 2011 - 16:14
At 67 he is far from being elderly and unless he has some kind of illness or disability, he is perfectly capable of looking after himself. He is only 5 years older than my DH who is working here 10 hour days!!! Get tough with DH and try and encourage him to move on, his father that is not DH!!
542
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EW GURU
Latest post on 03 January 2011 - 16:09
Suggest your husband rent him a studio apartment somewhere
1430
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 03 January 2011 - 16:07
I love my FiL dearly but I don't think I could cope with him living with us forever, he is 66. Why not speak to your husband, he probably wants to do the best for his father but in all the drama has forgotten that it affects you and your family unit. If FiL is able to look after himself see if you can just put a time limit on his stay, or you will have to gently draw up some house rules ..... that suit you. Also there is the visa issue and the sponsorship aspect, has DH thought about this? Good luck and also huggs ......
1579
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 03 January 2011 - 16:02
Oh Love (insert hug) I understand your pain as my MIL lives with us in Australia. All I can say is act swiftly before he gets too comfortable. [i'>Or take a job abroad ;)[/i'>
 
 

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