Nursery threatening to expel my 2 year old

When he gets angry - make a joke! When he gets angry - go and give him the biggest hug and lots of love! When he gets angry - be sure YOU don't! Do the opposite, show him how to calm down - with laughs and love!

There is a book called Raising your Spirited Child. A high spirited child is extreme.. he doesn't walk, he runs. He doesn't cry, he screams. He is super observant to the most minor details and extremely sensitive to the tiniest of things. They need to find a space, get a breather from some things..i.e. an introverted high spirited child, needs time to be by himself, to regroup, to have some piece. A noisy playground can send the poor kid insane. he gets to a point that he just can;t take the noise anymore, and so reacts to a tiny thing that makes him look like he is naughty.But his naughty act sends him to the naughty corner where, guess what, he has some silence and he has some time to regroup. My friend has to closely monitor her child at b parties, or amusement parks because he starts to get frustrated and acts out. By recognizing his needs, you can better manage his environment. Johnny, I can see that you are getting a bit anxious, how about we go outside for a while and read a book/get some fresh air and come back where we are at peace. This is a very pitiful summary, but we can teach these spirited kids to control their emotions, once they recognise them, and the teachers/parents alike play an important role also in leanring to recognise a child's needs. I now know when my DD is reaching her red zone and I react according - since then we have avoided soooo many meltdowns and everyone is much happier. They also say the a high spirited child usually has a high spirited parent...when I analysed myself, I was too. So by using my own experiences, and knowing how I feel about certain situations, I was able to anticipate exactly how DD was feeling - and I could stop it. This may or may not be the case, but consider it. If you think your child may be high spirited, by the book and learn some really great techniques to give you all some peace. BTW - those who do not have these spirited children will probably just tell you that your child is naughty - why? because they don't understand because they don't live with the pressures of raising such a child... oh how often did I get jealous when I saw a young toddler sitting their quietly while Mum did this and that... Best of luck to you...

Just out of curiosity, what steps are you taking to deal with his aggressive behaviour? its not really ok for him to be pushing/hurting other kids to the point that parents and teachers are complaining and its not an indicator of "brightness" or "maturity" to be shrugged off I agree with this. It's irrelevant how bright or mature he is, he *has* to be able to get on with his peer group. If he really is significantly brighter than the norm (and the chances are that by age five, everyone else will have caught up with him and he won't be speeding ahead any more), that's no excuse for poor socialisation, in fact it makes it even more important that he's properly socialised, because otherwise the other kids won't want to be his friend, and the last thing you or he wants is for him to end up a social outcast among his peer group.

Sweetcorn, I'm sorry to read of your predicament, I hope you find a solution soon. Just thought I would share that my son goes to Emirates British Nursery in Mirdif and absolutely loves it and I as a parent am very happy with it. Maybe there are other nurseries you could consider putting him in if it doesn't work out at the current one. Best wishes.

I cross-posted with HL below, sorry for the repetition <em>edited by kiwispiers on 22/11/2011</em>

Just out of curiosity, what steps are you taking to deal with his aggressive behaviour? its not really ok for him to be pushing/hurting other kids to the point that parents and teachers are complaining and its not an indicator of "brightness" or "maturity" to be shrugged off. I don't mean to be harsh but you can't expect a nursery to be responsible for "fixing" this and you need to understand that his antisocial behavior is a problem which is holding him back. Is he acting out because he is unhappy there, or doesn't know how to be with other kids, etc, if you don't get to the bottom of the issue its unlikely the next nursery will be any different. If you have the option you could consider pulling him out for 6 months and working on his social behavior through playgroups etc where you are there to give him one-on-one attention. Not all kids are ready for nursery at age 2.

I'm sure your son is absolutely a great kid and sounds very bright. However got to say after working in a nursery for ages 1+ that it is really really hard when there is a child that acts/behaves like this. It totally disrupts the whole class, every activity and the other children in the class. All children act like this on occasion but when it is every day it's a bit soul destroying as all of your attention/energy is drawn to that one child to the exclusion of the other children. It always works out eventually. Maybe they are not quite ready for school so maybe take your son out and try again in a couple of months. Organise lots of play dates and activities with friends and always correct him when his behaviour is inappropriate, showing/telling him in a way he understands. He sounds very smart and will catch on very soon. Remember the school has a responsibility to the other children aswell. Good Luck

I also agree sweetcorn, that your current nursery seems to be a bad fit for your little one. You'll have far more peace of mind, and your son will be much happier, if he's in an environment where he's valued, respected and challenged.

LOL..... I don't think that anything is wrong with your DS. He is hyperactive child and this is very good :) This means that he is smarter than normal for his age and he needs more attention to channel this smartness. If the teachers cannot recognize and deal with that, so..... they are not as good as you have thought. Every child is different and the daycare/school/whatever needs to adjust to the child, not the opposite. This is good education! I think you should consider moving your DS to other place just for the above mentioned reason. My DS is also hyperactive child and we also had some problems, but the daycare is managing him very well. So I have to say that there are people that are qualified to handle kids like that.

My first reaction was also to fight your ground but then I thought do you really want to leave your LO with these people? They are obviously not willing to look after him properly if they think they need to expel him! But still get the doctor's not etc as MomofTwins suggested so that the next nursery can't say they wont take based on the first place judgement...

If your son knows and can read the alphabet at 2 then, as you know, he is very bright. I suspect he is bored in his current environment and a change of school may be the best for him. If the teachers at this nursery do not know how to stimulate / control him then he is not in the right environment and for his sake and the other children in his current class I would look for somewhere that can help him to grow in a controlled way. To be honest, I would not be happy if a child in my LO's nursery was throwing things and pushing her, that is a discipline issue that must be addressed for his sake as well as the other children's otherwise imagine what he will be like at 5, 10, 15... Different school, different teacher could well mean a different happy, clever, well mannered child! Good luck, it's not easy.

OMG......in your situation I would ask my doctor for a written statement, or I would look for a specialist to evaluate your son, and use it to try and reason with them....