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EWmums

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Pregnant - not married

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spongemonkey980

4329

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 14:44

Everyone gets carried away with the baby stuff but what about the realities of this situation? She may not have a job, he doesn't have a job, she has children already! (Sorry, OP, about the "she"and "he" ) Don't know your ages obviously ( maybe you are young) but I know a guy who was a "bit older" and got caught up in a situation like this and it REALLY does affect your life and not always in a positive way.

spongemonkey980

4329

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 14:40

Yes... he should've said..life is what happens to your or doesn't.... Haha, no he didn't. I was only suggesting that this wasnt all doom and gloom. I was trying to make the OP realize that if she gets married and has a baby despite it not being planned, its not such a bad thing. Chocoa, as John Lennon said - life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans. Did he live in Dubai? edited by carpediem on 08/03/2011 Don't worry ladies, am still in reasonably good spirits and still have my sense of humour :). Those words were actually comforting. Didn't get him very far though did they? LOL Oh that is sick but I like it!

dutchdesert27532

33

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 14:30

Congratulations! Get a quick marriage, listen to all the lovely ladies who had done this. And enjoy your little present! It seems the begining of your new live. What is meant to be is meant to be! Big hug!

59

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 13:16

Chocoa, I know each company is different but at my interview the (female!) boss made it very clear that pregnancy and children would not be considered favourably if I was to keep my job.....a couple of years later and same company sends massive flowers, jewellery and chocolates after delivery and is very supportive of me being a working Mum. And same interviewer calls herself Aunty!!! Best of luck and you never know, you mightnt even get crook this timearound.

25

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 13:06

Wishing you the very best....these things happen and obviously it's always difficult at first as the shock gets in the way of clear thinking. For my two pennorth...if you like it here and want to stay, then it sounds to me like getting married is the way to go. It might not be the wedding you;d have wanted but you can still make it lovely / special. Once you are married you can sponsor your husband and by then he might have another job. It's going to be a bureacratic merry go round, with lots of coming and going for a few months but a few years down the line that will all be forgotten. Sending you a hug! Genuinely reassuring post, in the midst of it all we sometimes forget to see the big picture and that really in the scheme of things the comings/goings all get forgotten. OH needs a bit more reminding than me and I am sending him this link. Cyclone, Purple everyone on here you guys have been lovely. Hugs and kisses. Gosh some of us EW'ers can get nasty sometimes and I am feeling nice and warm to receive your lovely messages. <em>edited by Chocoa on 08/03/2011</em>

1579

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 13:06

This has been a lovely thread to read. Congratulations Chocoa and Future Mr Chocoa. This baby will be a blessing to you both. Count me in for the knees up :)

1247

Posts

EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 13:04

Hey its looking brighter already. Thank you all so much. will keep you posted and what we decide...and don't forget my hen's night ladies! edited by Chocoa on 08/03/2011 Never mind the hen night, are we all invited to the wedding? :D As for the hypermesis, please ask your Dr to get medicated for it, I was DYING with it with both pregnancies until my dr put me on daily meds in my second pregnancy. Really really helped, but as a result I was able to eat, so be careful what you wish for, I gained 20kg!! lol <em>edited by Purple on 08/03/2011</em>

25

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 13:00

Hey its looking brighter already. Thank you all so much. will keep you posted and what we decide...and don't forget my hen's night ladies! <em>edited by Chocoa on 08/03/2011</em>

happymommy22180

74

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 12:52

DH and I got married in Hongkong and it was fairly easy. We sent in all the applications and paperwork beforehands and then had to fly there for a long weekend for the ceremony. Just had to be there 1 day in advance to sign papers, swear the oath a that was it. We're both from different countries and neither is HK citizen. Let me know if you need any info on this... And congratulations! I'm sure once the decision is made and formalities are sorted out you'll feel much better and hopefully be able to be happy about this little wonder. Good luck!

1247

Posts

EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 12:51

Given circumstances - have kids settled in school here going back is not an option. Anyone know about Church marriages, except the Catholic Church? OH used to go to the Methodist Church back home - any here? He is going to check up but believes he was never baptised. Would anybody know if he can agree to be baptised now(!) and then get married here? I might have to drive up to Holy Trinity Church and check our options. Christ Church jebel Ali will marry you. you need Embassy approval (if you tell them you are pregnant they will speed this up) and divorce papers. have you considered going on holiday and getting married somewhere Isnt Christ Church Catholic? they are (as already stated) Church of England, but will marry any Christian couples there. Me and hubby are not even English or Church of England followers but we were married there, they will do it very fast if you explain the situation to them :)

22

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 12:33

Got married in LV. 10 minutes. certified Copies of marriage certificate @ 5 pm next day. took the flight back. total time spent 1 day. But everything & I mean everything was arranged in advance on internet & it worked like a charm. (There were some anxious moments though) Apostle has to be done from secretary of state Nevada then to secretary of state dc then to uae embassy in Washington and then to MOF in here. Apostle is a bigger hassle than the marriage part. <em>edited by Veekay53 on 08/03/2011</em>

1238

Posts

EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 12:31

Christ Church is Church of England. But I'm non-denominational and my now DH is meant to be Catholic, and I was seven months pregnant and they married us. And actually it was very quick and easy to sort out. <em>edited by guinness on 08/03/2011</em>

25

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 12:28

Given circumstances - have kids settled in school here going back is not an option. Anyone know about Church marriages, except the Catholic Church? OH used to go to the Methodist Church back home - any here? He is going to check up but believes he was never baptised. Would anybody know if he can agree to be baptised now(!) and then get married here? I might have to drive up to Holy Trinity Church and check our options. Christ Church jebel Ali will marry you. you need Embassy approval (if you tell them you are pregnant they will speed this up) and divorce papers. have you considered going on holiday and getting married somewhere Isnt Christ Church a Catholic church? edited to remove personal information <em>edited by Chocoa on 09/03/2011</em>

25

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 12:27

Thumbs up for you! Based on what you wrote you have very right attitude to this issue and because of this you will sort it out in the best way for you. Congrats on your pregnancy! So sweet :-) OH yesterday didn't understand how I could still smile and even laugh watching 'Along came Polly' with him. Been through life and know that getting stressed and crying will not solve anything. Need a clear thinking brain!

374

Posts

EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 12:25

Given circumstances - have kids settled in school here going back is not an option. Anyone know about Church marriages, except the Catholic Church? OH used to go to the Methodist Church back home - any here? He is going to check up but believes he was never baptised. Would anybody know if he can agree to be baptised now(!) and then get married here? I might have to drive up to Holy Trinity Church and check our options. Christ Church jebel Ali will marry you. you need Embassy approval (if you tell them you are pregnant they will speed this up) and divorce papers. have you considered going on holiday and getting married somewhere

25

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 12:22

To sum it up: Have to stay here, as I cant abandon the kids, their father is here too and the custody battle still on. Getting married then becomes a must. Don't see any quickie wedding options locally - checking other options given here such as Cyprus/Gretna...though my nationality may be a hinderance. Anybody know about non-Catholic, but Christian church weddings here? Will start calling around soon. PS - As for my job, I am going to really try to keep healthy so I am able to convince them to keep me on. Its not contractual that I was not allowed a pregnancy, just me being asked if I planned to have more kids, but it was clear what they implied. <em>edited by Chocoa on 08/03/2011</em>

131

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 12:20

Thumbs up for you! Based on what you wrote you have very right attitude to this issue and because of this you will sort it out in the best way for you. Congrats on your pregnancy!

25

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 12:17

Haha, no he didn't. I was only suggesting that this wasnt all doom and gloom. I was trying to make the OP realize that if she gets married and has a baby despite it not being planned, its not such a bad thing. Chocoa, as John Lennon said - life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans. Did he live in Dubai? edited by carpediem on 08/03/2011 Don't worry ladies, am still in reasonably good spirits and still have my sense of humour :). Those words were actually comforting. Didn't get him very far though did they? LOL Oh oh..... did you have to remind me that? :)

115

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 12:09

Yes... he should've said..life is what happens to your or doesn't.... Haha, no he didn't. I was only suggesting that this wasnt all doom and gloom. I was trying to make the OP realize that if she gets married and has a baby despite it not being planned, its not such a bad thing. Chocoa, as John Lennon said - life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans. Did he live in Dubai? edited by carpediem on 08/03/2011 Don't worry ladies, am still in reasonably good spirits and still have my sense of humour :). Those words were actually comforting. Didn't get him very far though did they? LOL

Sticky Wicket36659

1511

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 12:04

Haha, no he didn't. I was only suggesting that this wasnt all doom and gloom. I was trying to make the OP realize that if she gets married and has a baby despite it not being planned, its not such a bad thing. Chocoa, as John Lennon said - life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans. Did he live in Dubai? edited by carpediem on 08/03/2011 Don't worry ladies, am still in reasonably good spirits and still have my sense of humour :). Those words were actually comforting. Didn't get him very far though did they? LOL

25

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 12:03

Haha, no he didn't. I was only suggesting that this wasnt all doom and gloom. I was trying to make the OP realize that if she gets married and has a baby despite it not being planned, its not such a bad thing. Chocoa, as John Lennon said - life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans. Did he live in Dubai? edited by carpediem on 08/03/2011 Don't worry ladies, am still in reasonably good spirits and still have my sense of humour :). Those words were actually comforting.

Sticky Wicket36659

1511

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 12:01

What about http://www.gretnaonline.net/

1617

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 11:59

My secretary got married in Las Vegas and it worked, so that's definitely legal. Go for it...we'll throw you a hen night!

115

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 11:56

Haha, no he didn't. I was only suggesting that this wasnt all doom and gloom. I was trying to make the OP realize that if she gets married and has a baby despite it not being planned, its not such a bad thing. Chocoa, as John Lennon said - life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans. Did he live in Dubai? <em>edited by carpediem on 08/03/2011</em>

vero possumus37927

876

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 11:53

http://www.cyprusdreamweddings.com/legal.htm Bon Voyage

25

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 11:50

Given circumstances - have kids settled in school here going back is not an option. Anyone know about Church marriages, except the Catholic Church? OH used to go to the Methodist Church back home - any here? He is going to check up but believes he was never baptised. Would anybody know if he can agree to be baptised now(!) and then get married here? I might have to drive up to Holy Trinity Church and check our options. Maybe you should just focus on a quickie wedding rather than the whole religious thing at this point. Its not about religon, just the civil marriages require a long time, hoping a church one would be quicker..

vero possumus37927

876

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 11:49

Amy, you are right, but until the baby is born there is no proof that she was pregnant before marriage, and hopefully she would have everything resolved by then. And dont let them know when you get married. make arrangments for a saturday morning wedding, be in work on sunday. if they look surprised and say they did not know you were married, you can say that you did not know you were duty bound to inform them of these things. they cannot demand to see your certificate.

Sticky Wicket36659

1511

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 11:49

Chocoa, as John Lennon said - life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans. Did he live in Dubai?

25

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 11:48

personal info removed <em>edited by Chocoa on 09/03/2011</em>

115

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 11:47

Chocoa, as John Lennon said - life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans. Yes, you weren't expecting it and yes it might be shocking...but if you are happy with OH as you say you are..and you have planned to be together perhaps this is not such a bad thing. Most people spend their whole life trying to figure these things out. I'm sorry I don't have an answer to the question about whether you should get married here or home. But I would get married before I told my work place and I'm sure you and OH will sort out your plans soon. Good luck!

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