Seriously need your advice | ExpatWoman.com
 

Seriously need your advice

425
Posts
EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 19 January 2011 - 14:40
Its really very confusing sometimes. When I am alone and I feel lonely, or when the rent comes up and I have to worry, that’s when I feel my life would have been easier if I were married. I would have someone to share my life with. But then I talk to people and mostly they only complain about the marriage and have issues with their husbands. They tell me they wish they were still single and if they knew what marriage is like, they would never get married. Well, I have many years of living alone and also had a year experience of living with my boyfriend. Even though we had our share of problems as a couple, I feel I was a much happier person when I was living with him.... Do any of you regret being married?? Where you happier when you were single?
54
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 19 January 2011 - 00:34
I have a suitor in my home country and I have promised my mom that I will meet him and I will consider dating him and getting to know him with the possibility of marrying him The reason that my family is trying to find me a good husband is that I am almost 30 and single and not even in a serious relationship. They believe that I have lived alone for so many years already (13 years) and I should be looking for a more mature lifestyle and to get married. My attempts to meet the prince charming and tie the knots have failed many times and at times I have been the one telling them that I wish I was married and had someone to share my happiness and my sorrow. I have nothing against marriage, but I think marriage is for two people who love each other and do not want to be without one another. Do you think I should get married just because of my age or the fact most of my friends are married and have kids? The idea of getting married, just because a guy is suitable or he is rich or that I might be getting too old to find the right man I just does not sink in my head. Is there really a time and age to get married??? Would you marry a guy you didn’t truly love? It's really not about your age or marrying someone you don't like. I think the act of your family trying to get you to meet someone they've picked is more for motivational purposes if it's accepted that you can choose who you marry, and whom you enter into romantic relationships with. At the very least, meet the man and give him a chance to sweep you off your feet...at the very most go out and start your search for love, it might take a longer time than you anticipated or it might just happen right away, you'll never know if you don't try!
425
Posts
EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 18 January 2011 - 23:52
Thank you Lakshmi , I checked the website and it seems to be helpful. Most of nice people that I met in Dubai and became my close friend have left the country during the past two years ,including my ex BF ,and my circle of friends has become really small. I think that is another reason for me to feel lonely.
152
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 18 January 2011 - 19:23
My grandparents where obsessed with the idea of me marrying a farmer in Switzerland, so they introduced me to a lot of them..I had quite fun talking to them and letting them somehow know that I'm not interested. Now happily married to my husband, that I've met in a bar. No farming for me...LOL
232
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 18 January 2011 - 18:56
Can you find people with similar interests to yourself? I've just joined www.socialcirclesuae.com They have lots of differen groups so there may be something in there that interests you. And amongst those groups there may be some interesting, like-minded guys. I agree with the others, you have nothing to loss by meeting the guy your parents have suggested. But don't get desperate at 30! I know in lots of cultures that might be considered too old to be single but don't let it get you down. Good luck!
384
Posts
EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 18 January 2011 - 18:22
Thank you SQ, About the right circle, I'm not sure if I ever found it here in Dubai. I do go out and get attention as well. But the guys you meet at the bar or the club are usually not the right ones, and are not looking for a serious relationship. Any suggestions for the right circles? Get 'in with' married people. When they have get togethers and invite people around and then the guy might invite some singles from the office if he knows his wife has a single girl coming along. Married people are best as it implies you want that lifestyle too. Bars and clubs are no place to find a marriage partner.
425
Posts
EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 18 January 2011 - 18:20
Thank you SQ, About the right circle, I'm not sure if I ever found it here in Dubai. I do go out and get attention as well. But the guys you meet at the bar or the club are usually not the right ones, and are not looking for a serious relationship. Any suggestions for the right circles?
384
Posts
EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 18 January 2011 - 18:19
So many familiar questions! I have an arranged marriage. My DH was the 4th guy that I saw that my parents chose, we talked for over a month and married soon after. Both DH and I were very surprised that we met they way we did ( we both were very adamant about choosing our own partners and had our fair share of relationships prior to meeting each other).So I would say give it a try. You just have to be sure of the reasons that you want to get married for. Dubai can be an incredibly lonely place for a woman. You're surrounded by married couples and families and just seeing that makes you feel like you are alone, especially when you have problems. Love and passion are not the only things in a marriage. Being able to adjust/compromise on a lot of things, which as an independent working woman you take for granted in your life, is essential. You will have to put up with his family, have to live with another human being in your space, have to factor their opinions/likes in decisions, money issues, issues with s e x, pick up after them, be nurse and mother,etc. It's a lot of work for both parties and other couples will never tell you about them. Best of luck
384
Posts
EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 18 January 2011 - 18:11
Go ahead and meet him....but keep an open mind. Perhaps you can 'date' online first before going home, to see if there is any click.
384
Posts
EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 18 January 2011 - 18:10
On the side of the coin, am 37 and unhappily single but only ever meet idiots or complete lossers.... you have nothing to lose by meeting him, if nothing is there then no harm but he could be perfect for you.... better to be unhappily single than unhappily married. Don't lose heart, there are nice guys out there who want to get married, it is just a case of advertising yourself within the 'right' circles.
610
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EW GURU
Latest post on 18 January 2011 - 18:08
Defo give it a shot .... afterall you have nothing to lose (bar your parents maybe being a little miffed). Just don't feel pressured into marriage if in your heart your not 110% sure. Good luck x
455
Posts
EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 18 January 2011 - 18:07
Only marry for love because if you don t love him it will end in unhappiness for you both x
425
Posts
EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 18 January 2011 - 18:01
Maybe you ladies are right ! Izzy , I havnt been very lucky in my dating life either. That is the only reason I am giving this a shot.
2222
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 18 January 2011 - 16:36
On the side of the coin, am 37 and unhappily single but only ever meet idiots or complete lossers.... you have nothing to lose by meeting him, if nothing is there then no harm but he could be perfect for you....
371
Posts
EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 18 January 2011 - 16:27
I think meeting the prospective husband, like your family want, and actually marrying him, are two different things. There's no harm in meeting him and getting to know him - how different is that from meeting someone through friends? The good thing about it, is that you know he won't take you for a ride and waste your time only for you to find out 5 years down the line that he's not looking to get married any time soon. I don't think you're past your sell by date, and I don't believe in getting married for the sake of it... but good men are hard to find, and I don't think there's anything wrong in meeting the guys your parents are interested in with the view to getting to know them and seeing where it goes. After all, you could meet him and fall head over heels in love!
369
Posts
EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 18 January 2011 - 16:15
No I wouldn't,. but I understand there are many cultures where this is how things are done. I also have an unmarried 29 year old daughter whom I am very proud of that she is independent and strong minded. I think you need to do some deep soul searching and think about what exactly do you want for your future and could this man provide it for you. I know many couples here who are in arranged marriages and are extremely happy, so while Im saying it is not for me, I know it can work.
425
Posts
EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 18 January 2011 - 16:10
I have a suitor in my home country and I have promised my mom that I will meet him and I will consider dating him and getting to know him with the possibility of marrying him The reason that my family is trying to find me a good husband is that I am almost 30 and single and not even in a serious relationship. They believe that I have lived alone for so many years already (13 years) and I should be looking for a more mature lifestyle and to get married. My attempts to meet the prince charming and tie the knots have failed many times and at times I have been the one telling them that I wish I was married and had someone to share my happiness and my sorrow. I have nothing against marriage, but I think marriage is for two people who love each other and do not want to be without one another. Do you think I should get married just because of my age or the fact most of my friends are married and have kids? The idea of getting married, just because a guy is suitable or he is rich or that I might be getting too old to find the right man I just does not sink in my head. Is there really a time and age to get married??? Would you marry a guy you didn’t truly love?
 
 

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