To Emirates pilots' wives...

Dogcatcher, that's some really good advice you've given. I moved over here 2yrs ago with a newborn to join hubby and was shocked with the negativity I encountered from some expats here. Hubby and I did the long distance thing for a while so he could focus on settling in here and do his training so I was lucky that I missed that settling in period. I also had our DD in Oz and he did all of that associated paperwork so it was an easy arrival for us - what a gem! It's great to get people's opinions on life here, both positive and negative, but you are spot on, it is ultimately up to the individual to make the most of this opportunity. As I mentioned, the negativity I faced on my arrival was devastating but I rose above it and am so much better for it. In a nutshell, I came here with a brand new baby, not knowing ANYONE and was determined to make friends for myself and my baby. The apartment building we were in had a Facebook page with a mums group which I quickly joined and attended one of the playdates at the pool. I put myself out there and introduced myself to some ladies and all was going well until they discovered through conversation that I was married to a pilot and BANG!!! Without a word of a lie, they literally turned their backs on me and wouldn't speak to me!!! I discovered later that they were all engineer and IT wives and felt that I had no right to live there and should be in a villa spending my days sipping coffees with the JJs! Needless to say, I didn't interact with them again and we are fortunate enough to now live in a villa in a great area with amazing neighbors who have become great friends (both EK and non EK). Hubby works very hard to provide for us so I've ensured that I've maintained my independence and have figured a lot of stuff out on my own. I try not to bug him for things or dump chores on him on his days off. Except maybe for today as he's just returned from a 9 day trip and I've been nursing a very sick DD for the last week (I'm also 36wks pregnant) so he's promised to amuse her this afternoon so I can catch on my chores (although I'm sure he will insist I have a nap!). I might just take him up on that! Anyway, good luck to the newbies joining us here. There will be ups and downs but try to stay calm and take it one step at a time. Ask your neighbors and the lovely ladies of EW for advice. You will find your feet and all will be well! Best wishes!

Hi Scotsmumofone, It might have been me you were talking to. I look after a 15 month old and a husband who travels and would love a play date. I would love to arrange a get together, but i've learnt my lesson, and feel pretty confident that if i post my email addy i'll be banned again. Why don't we meet up at one of the expat women toddler groups? Are there any on Thursday that you could make?

Hi I thought I was going mad as things I have written have vanished... I wonder if it was because I put my whole email addy down? That's good to know the park is not too far away. Been looking for somewhere to take wee one for a walk, getting fed up going around the same wee route I have! Will have to venture out this aft and see if I can find it! Think the pool I found will be the one we can access.Will try find out from neighbours if they use it though or go elsewhere. We don;t have a car sorted out soon but will get round to it. Totally agree with dogcatcher. My husband has being feeling the strain a bit with the paperwork and I'm not about to start moaning that we don't have this or that sorted out, it will all come. We're here for as long as poss so have plenty of time to find our feet. Very unrealistic to expect to know the area, have days out planned etc etc, for the mo I'm happy to let my wee one play around in the garden, getting her vit d!!! Certainly wouldn't be doing that in the uk!! There was someone who lives in the same area as me who said she had a one year old too, i cant find the post but would still be great to try meet up at some point!

Hi Scotsmumofone..seems a few posts have been deleted....your are in a different area of villas than I am :)....I am Al Wasl park, about a 5-10 min walk from you :)....I understood a while ago, that the emirates Pilots had access to a villa compound pool in the area, not sure if that is still on though.

Not an EK wife but have to agree with sky kitty! Moving anywhere can be tough but some find it harder here. Our experience was the opposite. Husband had a harder time but this was due to the paper work run around. After we got all that sorted he chilled and life was good. Training can also be so hard and daunting. The things these guys and girls need to remember when joining any airline is that they know how too fly, this is why they were hired. Yes it might be a new type but they can do it. As wives we need to pull back and let them be. This is not a time for husband having to be the tour guide to a sad wife. This is the time for the wife to be independent with or without kids! It all falls into place and everyone will find their way. As for the villa situation we know many EK families that hate Semner and dso, lots of nosey neighbors knowing your spouses sked or wondering why someone was upgraded over someone else etc etc. many of our friends have put 8 years or more in and are opting out of company housing. Not to save money but for a fresh start in a new neighborhood. Good luck to all the newbies here. Dubai is what you make of it. If you have a bad attitude you'll hate it. If you can't been your own you'll hate that too. I personally love the quiet time and one on one time with my daughter. We do what we want and watch what we want.....no golf, no war movies! LOL! <em>edited by dogcatcher on 07/02/2012</em>

yes there is a pool. It is in the 4 bed villas :)....just double checking. You are in the villas by Al Wasl Park and not Life Pharmacy right? :) I dont have children here, they are all grown, oldest is 41 lol but happy to be a granny now and then :) <em>edited by SueB on 05/02/2012</em>

Hey SueB, Good to hear you are happy here! Do we have a pool? Is it the little round one I came across the other day? Not sure if just happened across someone else's!! Do you have children? My wee one is only one, need to get her some pals!! Think she's getting fed up with my 'entertainment'!! House is so empty, waiting for our stuff to come but will be ages yet. Took the furnished option which is good as a starter but be nice to get our own.

Hi Scotsmumofone :)....we are also in rulers villas of 24 :) need anything we are the park bench with cat food dishes underneath, (there is another park bench one street over but no cat food dishes underneath lol) beside the bin :). Have lived here for 9 years. Love it :) Welcome :)

Bear in mind Captains probably get priority for villas over F/Os with families as it's in their entitlement to a Villa on becoming Captain- this may be why they're saying 'none available'- might already be allocated for other familes whose DH has just/about to upgrade & coming from apartments?

Hi We arrived 2 weeks ago and after requesting silicon we were placed in Ruler's Compound. This is in the Al Bada'a area and very close to Safa/ Jumeriah 1. I was initially concerned when I got the details as I had no idea what to expect. Having seen the cedre villas I kind of painted a pic in head to what to expect. However, we are really happy where we are. We were told there was no more space ther, however I know my neighbour's friend has just been allocated a semmer villa so I guess it's just a case of waiting but be rest assured that the quality of accom is really good and the location is fab, can walk to beach! The villas are very spacious and while they may be a bit older they aren't ancient, think 10 yes or so. Friends who live here and have done for a while feel our location is better. I'm very much still finding my feet and I came out straight away with my husband and baby. He is already studying hard and I'm very grateful to have the friends here already, otherwise I think it could get very lonely. It would be an excellent idea to have some sort of wive's club or something similar!

Hi Napo, We arrived last year and we live in Silicon Oasis. Personally I think it is a great area for families and I'm surprised there are no villas available....there are definately some that are empty but perhaps not available to Emirates? I don't know much about Al Safa except that the location is good. I too have been wondering if there is any type of support groups/netwroks for pilot's wives or in your case Pinkleton, Navy wives.

Is there any support for pilot's wives? Any way for them to get in contact with other women who have been left alone to fend for themselves while their men do a spot of globe trotting? I ask because i"m a NAVY wife and I would love to meet other women who are here alone and understand how hard this is... <em>edited by Pinkleton on 04/02/2012</em>

Just add to what was said earlier, I have heard over and over again from many a pilot- DO NOT come here if you have major issues in your relationship. It will almost certainly be the end of you for the reasons given. Sure there are plenty of happy families here but there are equally many miserable ones. Very sad to see tbh. And bear in mind that as a wife dependent on husband for visa, home, money etc... it is a lot harder to leave and go back home should that ever become necessary than it would in a more westernised country... From what I'm told the lifestyle is great but it can also be a bit of trap. So, many stay even though it's not ideal for them, because there's nowhere else to go, or hubby wants to keep his career without going back ten years by moving away. As others have said, do your research very very thoroughly. Look beneath the gloss- the PR & marketing is very good but there are downsides to this city and this life. Pilot's spouses don't just marry the man/woman, they marry the job it seems... Best of luck whatever you decide...

Silicon is still a empty pit, bit isolated, community is good getting better but not the same as rest of Dubai ,,, it's good but safa would be far better!!!

Napo, I love Al Safa area. You are in the middle of the city close to everything. The houses in Al Safa are older than the ones in Silicon and the gardens are smaller. Before we moved in September, the kitchen had been renovated. Usually families with kids prefer Silicon because the houses are located inside a compound. Maybe there are still empty houses in Silicon. I have a few friends recently being able to find houses available in Silicon. I hope you can get what you want. :) <em>edited by Bbdee on 04/02/2012</em>

My husband will be working with emirates, he travels in March. We have 3 children, so we will accommodate in a villa. During the tour we saw the houses in silicon oasis, but now we have heard that the company no longer have homes there, will now be in another sector. you know where could it be? ... we've heard that for at Safa. How is this area? you know villas in Al Safa? We really like Silicon Oasis, do you think al safa is a good place w/children?

Royal Jet doesnt have a Dubai base. Short notice flights off and on, no roster, 3 weeks on (contactable for flight) and 1 week off.

Does Royal Jet have a Dubai base? I thought they were Abu Dhabi only. Yes, if anyone is applying for a job there we know people that are very happy there. They are treated well for the most part and fly a lot, sometimes with only an hours notice. Some wives aren't too happy with the flying their husbands do but they certainly are happy with the extra$!

Royal jet fly out of Dubai and from all accounts not a bad ole life.

@snowgal, good luck with deciding what to do. Yes the job is a dream and we are very happy (knock on wood). The dream job just had an out in FG and a few other employment sites. It's a secret here but not in aviation circles where people are looking for employment. If you mention it to your husband he'll probably have an idea. Not sure if you can send pm's here but if you can send me one.

And yep, were looking for something like what you have for a few years. DH sched has been 6 on - 1 off. However, we have a great contract and we have 3 month vacation time to play with whenever we want. So our move to Dubai has to be for the quality of life... Nothing else. Even if we don't save as much as we've been for a few years, it isn't going to hurt us.

Etihad is but he doesn't work there either!;)

I didn't know there were other airlines flying out of Dubai other than Emitates and flydubai. Ethiad is out of Abu Dabhi I think.

@snowgal. No not fly. You guys considering that? When I say he's never away, I mean he's never away. No morning turns that bring him home for dinner. He does have busy times of the year, like now but winter, fall and spring are pretty quiet. Well deserved for him after all the years of airline failures, startups, flying in the bush, starting over etc. (knock on wood). He's got a great golf game!! And having written all of that...he's away and I miss him! <em>edited by dogcatcher on 20/06/2011</em>

Hi newbie, There are many things to consider before you make your decision. The ladies below have mentioned a lot of the things that need to be considered, like if you have kids, but another important thing to consider is which fleet hubby will be moving onto. If it's the 777 rosters are a lot more relaxed, he might be away a lot more, but when he goes away more, he gets more time off. On average my DH has around 12 days off, that doesn't include rest days, and some months it's even more than 12. I can't really comment on the 330/340 fleet. I believe it is a lot busier for the guys and they're away more often, but I also know pilots who have been on the 330/340 fleet for 2 or 3 years and are now moving onto the 380 fleet, which is obviously a great career opportunity for any pilot. At the end of the day, you must realize that emirates tries to provide a "lifestyle" package, where they supply great accommodation, help with a lot of the aspects of integrating into a new country and culture, but you also need to do your in order to make living here work. And... No matter where hubby works, he will always have to be away from home...just the way the job goes. I hope this helps. We have zero regrets moving over here. Good luck making your decision :) edited by saffachik on 20/06/2011 <em>edited by saffachik on 20/06/2011</em>

@dogcatcher... are you guys with fly?

Ahh, we have the opposite here. Mine is never away. I look forward to that call from rostering and I'm pretty sure he does too! LOL!! Ya, we've seen our share of breakups here. After 20 years together we are just way to lazy (LOL), I mean comfortable with who we are together and who we are as a family. Traveling and living overseas has definately brought us all together as a very tight family. We depend on eachother, have eachother backs, not that we wouldn't at home but this is different. You dont' have that extended family nearby so it really is just your little family trying to survive. This expat life isn't always ideal but I wouldn't change it...I'd tweak it a little here and there but no major changes!

My husband's favorite expression when I start complaining about him being away too much is "Hey! You knew I was a pilot when you married me 23 years ago. And you still married me. So why are you complaining now?". For us living overseas has brought us together... But not a lot of contract pilots will say the same.

Hello, you haven't provided many details about yourself, so there are many things to consider. Do you have kids, if so what ages? Have you had much experience moving? By that I mean, are you moving away from a close knit family circle and loads of great friends? If so, a first move can be very daunting. As with all the different personalities on this site, you will get just as many opinions as to whether or not people are happy. What I have learned with my many moves, is that ultimately, your happiness or unhappiness is very much a personal choice. I think the questions you need to answer are more along the lines of: are you happy where you are now? If so, why leave? If your husband needs a job and he is the primary provider, then it's not a bad deal. Seeing as he is a pilot, he's going to be gone and as such, you need to be aware that you have to be pretty independent here so that you don't get into a rut and depressed. There are many opportunities to meet other women and if you have kids, the schools are a great starting place. Is your marriage in relatively good shape or are you dealing with big problems? What I have seen here is that if you are having issues, moving won't make them go away, it may shade them for a while, but ultimately the problems in your marriage will re-surface and in many cases they will be bigger and harder to cope with if you don't have your usual support system. Moving here is not a band aid solution for marital issues. If you have kids, what ages are they? We moved here with three teens and it worked out great. Having said that, if you have kids with special needs, there are not that many resources available for them and you must be careful about ensuring there are resources to meet their needs. Are you planning on working? Many posters have addressed the fact that part time jobs are hard to come by. That is just the reality of Dubai. For us, the move has been a good one, but I have met many people here who are unhappy. I wonder though, if they were happy before they got here? I know life happens, but ultimately, it is your attitude and your approach to living here that will be the biggest factor in determining if this is the place for you and your family. With the spouses gone so much, it is up to the mom to hold the family together. That's just the reality of being married to a pilot. Good luck with your decision.

@snowgal....couldn't agree more! The places our kids have been and how accepting they are of different cultures is amazing. Had we stayed in Canada I can guarantee you that if my daughter met a Thai friend ( ya right ), she wouldn't know to great the Grandma and Mom at the door with clasped hands, a bow and a sawadeeka. There is no education quite like this one...if you take advantage of the travel and keep yourselves grounded. There are a fair share of expat brats and parents too! Having also lived in Asia and learning to get around and blend in as a tall white person I can guarantee you that Dubai is not like that. Asia for me was a completely different ball game. We were not welcome and were told that we are stealing jobs. Being run into with a grocery cart or walked in front of at the ATM was quite normal.The expats out number the locals here so fitting in will not be a problem and there is no language barrier unless you're hiring a maid or gardener and even then a lot of them have a good understanding of english. Although, having said that you probably will encounter a local that feels they have the right of way over you, whether it be at a grocery store, fast food establishment or while driving. I think the real key to being an expat is to leave your home country behind, accept this new wonderful culture, start fresh, be indepenant and learn to laugh things off! Dubai's easy...it's the husbands being away that seem to make some women crazy or the complaining about the job. There is a never ending dialogue with our friends.... <em>edited by dogcatcher on 20/06/2011</em>