Feeling aweful, aweful, aweful :( | ExpatWoman.com
 

Feeling aweful, aweful, aweful :(

1029
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 01 May 2011 - 12:51
How else can I "teach" her that biting, especially whilst feeding is NOT on?!?! She has done it before, but today was just so darn hard, I never had time to think about my reaction :/: Close up shop immediately. She will soon get the message when she is still hungry and you are not feeding her. Obviously go back and feed her in 5 minutes or so....;)
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 01 May 2011 - 08:58
The apple never falls far from the tree! ;) Oh dear :\: It took me 20+ years to outgrow my temper tantrums and that only because i met my DH who had a very calming effect on me! I wonder at what age i can legally marry DD off ;) Well, at least you managed to outgrow them! ;) Both DH and I already feel a bit sorry for whoever DD chooses - he'd better be calm, no-nonsense and patient, but also quick-witted and razor-sharp to keep up with her! Anything short of that and she'll walk all over him!
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EW GURU
Latest post on 30 April 2011 - 15:33
The apple never falls far from the tree! ;) Oh dear :\: It took me 20+ years to outgrow my temper tantrums and that only because i met my DH who had a very calming effect on me! I wonder at what age i can legally marry DD off ;)
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 28 April 2011 - 20:45
Thanks for the tips H.A.K - will give it a go when it next happens! Am hoping there will not be a next time, however I am well aware of DD's little temper (even her Pediatrician has pointed it out to me) so will need to nip it in the bud asap! The apple never falls far from the tree! ;) My DD has my character, for better or for worse and it's sometimes like looking in a mirror and DH finds it hilarious to point out (froma safe distance) the similarities between DD's tantrums and my er... tantrums. [looks sheepish'> All the more reason to teach them that they *can* control their tempers!
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EW GURU
Latest post on 28 April 2011 - 00:55
Thanks for the tips H.A.K - will give it a go when it next happens! Am hoping there will not be a next time, however I am well aware of DD's little temper (even her Pediatrician has pointed it out to me) so will need to nip it in the bud asap! Some great info on kellymom and babycentre so will do some reading when I have some free time soon ;)
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 27 April 2011 - 12:22
DS jumped on DH's crown jewels the other day while they were playing on the rug. I must admit I was impressed with his reserved reaction!
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 27 April 2011 - 11:55
I wonder what our lovely hubbies would do if a particular area was bit, yanked, stretched, hit. If they would have the same reaction. well, most of the above have happened to poor DH during toddler rough and tumbles (sometimes with elbows) and in fairness, he only screamed and curled up in a ball... but having teeth sunk in and clamping it like a bulldog... different kettle of fish!
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 27 April 2011 - 11:39
Well - she'll never do it again!!!! We have a no hitting rule in our house, but during this week I was sick with a tummy bug, on the couch with DD and DS (6 years) lept over us (he knows he shouldn't) anyway on landing, he landed on top of my foot - blinding pain and as a reflex I slapped him on the arm....I did feel a little bad, and apologised, but explained that although it was no excuse, he had hurt me really badly and di it without thinking. I know you can't explain it too your LO, but she won't remember when she's older and hopefully she won't do it again.... I had to give up feeding DD as she was a terrible biter,... and no matter how forcefully I told her no, and took her off she would just keep on doing it......and laugh at me the little blitter!
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EW GURU
Latest post on 27 April 2011 - 11:17
I wonder what our lovely hubbies would do if a particular area was bit, yanked, stretched, hit. If they would have the same reaction.
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 27 April 2011 - 10:29
How else can I "teach" her that biting, especially whilst feeding is NOT on?!?! She has done it before, but today was just so darn hard, I never had time to think about my reaction :/: There's a lot of advice out there on how to prevent babies from biting while feeding. Hitting a 20 week old of course as you know is not a way to "teach" them. Try kellymom.com I breastfed for a year it wasn't easy especially when teething but you can see through it... Just take lots of deep breaths and count on a lot of patience. The best way is to just remove them from the fun. It's pretty much the best form of discipline for any situation, in fact. Try not to scream (grit teeth, sharp intake of breath), then compose yourself to a stern, serious face and a firm "no", accompanied with removing bubs from your breast. You could then reinforce by saying "no biting" or "Do not bite me" and then after a pause (later on this will be the point where they say sorry), ask her if she's ready to have some more milk and pop her back on, unless she's got a cheeky minx grin on her face, in which case it's highly likely she thinks it's hilarious and will try again!
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 26 April 2011 - 22:47
How else can I "teach" her that biting, especially whilst feeding is NOT on?!?! She has done it before, but today was just so darn hard, I never had time to think about my reaction :/: There's a lot of advice out there on how to prevent babies from biting while feeding. Hitting a 20 week old of course as you know is not a way to "teach" them. Try kellymom.com I breastfed for a year it wasn't easy especially when teething but you can see through it... Just take lots of deep breaths and count on a lot of patience.
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EW GURU
Latest post on 26 April 2011 - 22:23
H.A.K - you have become my voice of reason and have been able to articulate what i was trying to say to DH the whole day :) Will have a good think about some of the points you have mentioned! Kelly_C - a HUGE sigh of relief knowing that my DD has not turned into a little monster and that it's normal and happens to other Mums as well!
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 26 April 2011 - 21:44
Plumie please dont feel bad - a few weeks ago EXACTLY the same thing happened to us, except i got her little arm :( I was so shocked it just happened, and was inches away from leaping out of my chair in shock/pain and rolling her right off my lap! Its a 'in the moment' thing, and she most certainly will not remember it, dont worry. DD didnt even react actually, and carried right on chewing till i got my little finger in there and got her off! Little monkey... she still loves me, so i think we both came out of it OK! xx
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 26 April 2011 - 21:18
Thanks for the replies ladies! Stuck between a rock and a hard place right now :( DH was in the room when it happened and he immediately snapped and said "Don't ever do that again" :\: I was so shocked at what happened and tried to explain, that it was not intentional and it was a reflex!!! We have briefly spoken about discipline recently and our views differed! He is European and was never exposed to physical discipline, I am South African and well remember my bottom being spanked with a slipper or anything my Mum could get her hands on, if I was out of line! I honestly never meant to do what I did today, however, I now find myself questioning my self-control, on whether it would happen again?! How else can I "teach" her that biting, especially whilst feeding is NOT on?!?! She has done it before, but today was just so darn hard, I never had time to think about my reaction :/: My DH had the same reaction when he saw me - I just retorted that if he was in my shoes, then he may have reacted differently, but since he wasn't, then he should leave it to my judgement. This particular incident was on an occasion when I needed to stop DD very quickly (by slapping her arm) from swinging a pillow wildly around, within range of a hot cup of tea and DS. Far better a quick slap than a scalded baby. The fact is that neither he, nor I, think that physical discipline is a way to teach our children good behaviour... but sometimes - very rarely - you will find yourself in a position where you need an abrupt signal for them to stop doing something and sometimes, it'll be physical, not verbal. I question my self-control a lot. I'm not ashamed to say it because I know full well that if I let myself go, I would do things that I would regret. I think as a result, I am even more [apparently'> calm and collected when I deal with motherhood's little challenges - after all, I'm trying to teach my children how to master their emotions, and I need to lead by example! Never forget that you and your DH are a team when it comes to discipline. There may be a Good Cop and a Bad Cop (I'm the Bad Cop - boo hiss!), but try to show a united front and use the team support! On one occasion, I had to call DH at work for moral support. I was so, so very angry at DD... in fact, I don't think I'd ever been so angry at anyone in my entire life... that I wanted to just give her something to cry about (well, I actually wanted to completely lose it with her) and I needed help to control myself. I'd like to think that our children will learn all the more from us, by seeing how we can express ourselves appropriately, whilst still being open about our emotions.
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EW GURU
Latest post on 26 April 2011 - 20:36
Thanks for the replies ladies! Stuck between a rock and a hard place right now :( DH was in the room when it happened and he immediately snapped and said "Don't ever do that again" :\: I was so shocked at what happened and tried to explain, that it was not intentional and it was a reflex!!! We have briefly spoken about discipline recently and our views differed! He is European and was never exposed to physical discipline, I am South African and well remember my bottom being spanked with a slipper or anything my Mum could get her hands on, if I was out of line! I honestly never meant to do what I did today, however, I now find myself questioning my self-control, on whether it would happen again?! How else can I "teach" her that biting, especially whilst feeding is NOT on?!?! She has done it before, but today was just so darn hard, I never had time to think about my reaction :/:
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 26 April 2011 - 18:27
cheer up plumie and have some giggle time with ur angel :) she won't even remember a thing.
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EW GURU
Latest post on 26 April 2011 - 17:38
Oh love, give yourself a break! She won't/doesn't remember it. It blummin' well hurts to get a boobie bite and it was just an instant reaction.
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 26 April 2011 - 17:01
You said it yourself, Plumie, it was an accident. It was a natural reaction to her biting you. Please don't beat yourself up over it babe. And if she does it again when she's older then bite her back! :D
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 26 April 2011 - 15:57
Biting = pain = ouch! It's natural that you reacted. Will smacked me in the face with a broken fly swat yesterday and I took it out on the fly swat :D. Unfortunately for you, you didn't have anything else to take it out on but don't beat yourself up about it. I doubt she'll remember it at all!
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 26 April 2011 - 15:15
The mere fact that you feel terrible for this momentary loss of control is really all you need to know about yourself and the guarantee that you are not a Bad Parent. Most of us sometimes let the situation get the better of us and lose control - I've occasionally lashed out as a pure reaction and regretted it the millisecond after it happened. It's up to us to be able to channel our anger, pain and/or frustration through appropriate channels - just as we teach our children to do - but we're all only human. If you'd slapped and felt nothing or had grown accustomed to slapping and thought nothing of it, then it would be time to worry, but as I said, the sheer fact that you're mortified will mean you will try to control yourself all the more...
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 26 April 2011 - 15:00
I don't want to comment on whether smacking is right or wrong, as I think it depends in each individual circumstance. But, I remember my mum telling me that I used to bite terribly when I was a child (I'm 27 now) and back then she was told by her doctor to bite me back -hard! She did this once and never did I bite again, so I wouldn't worry yourself too much. Maybe it has nipped it in the bud before it's begun
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 26 April 2011 - 14:40
It reads to me like the smack was a natural reaction to pain and is not something you should feel guilty about. Her reaction suggests no permanent injury (physical or psychological) was done and on the plus side you may have taught her very young and in one go not to bite! I don't know about babies that young being able to understand right from wrong (I doubt they can!) but newborn babies understand cause and effect. My thesis advisor in university told us of an experiment where newborn babies were stroked on the forehead and then given a dropper of sugar water. This was repeated several times. And then at the end, they were stroked on the forehead but not given sugar water. They cried because they had learned to associate stroking with sugar.
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EW GURU
Latest post on 26 April 2011 - 13:45
I think you've had a lot of ladies read this but not wanting to comment for the fear of raising the how to discipline debate. Sometimes its a reflex reaction. She won't remember. I haven't spanked my 9 month old but have my 3 yr old. There have been times where I've missed the diaper padding and accidently hit his thigh. I usually give him time outs but sometimes it happens.
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EW GURU
Latest post on 26 April 2011 - 13:04
I "accidentally" spanked DD in her thigh this morning :( :( :( Whilst breastfeeding, she bite me really hard, and the next thing I know i was screaming OUCH and spanked her little thigh! I know it was a reflex, as the minute it happened - I almost wanted to cry! She was shocked, did not cry, and just looked at me with big eyes! DD is only 20 weeks young - will she remember the spank? Was she able to understand that what she did was not "nice"? She has bitten me before, and I was able to de-latch her, but nothing as hard as today! I feel totally ****, and what made it worse, a few minutes later she was smiley and carried on with me as normal! I keep looking at her, and feel so utterly remorseful for what I did :( Ever happened to anyone else?
 
 

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