NEED HELP! Fussy Baby

CC - the back arching was a symptom my DD had along with piercing screams during and immediately after drinking milk as well as constant crying and unsettledness. Silent reflux can come on at different strengths. In our case it was severe. Our baby was constantly miserable and we were at the doctors every few days. We sought two different opinions to make sure the diagnosis and course of treatment was right for our DD. She was putting on a lot of weight too. We tried Zantac and Motillium for 7 weeks and she wasn't getting any better. She was hospitalised twice for observation and treatment . Even the nurses at City Hospital said it was one of the more severe cases they had encountered. Eventually, thanks to talking to other mums with similar issues, I learnt about Losec and vividly recall the moment DD took milk and gave us a big smile straight after her feed - she was 10 weeks old and it was the first time the poor little thing did not cry after drinking and we were lucky enough to take a photo of the moment. Mealtimes have been enjoyable since then (of course she still has tantrums every now and then!). Everyone will tell you something different and all babies are different. Sometimes silent reflux goes away on its own and sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes babies grow out of it at 4 months, others at 11 months and some never do. We are slowly weaning DD off her meds now, she is about to turn 8 months old. Maybe get a second opinion from another doctor - think about what is right for you and in the best interest of your baby. Take care and all the best - and be sure to listen to Kiwi's advice, it's gold!

it's true they prefer not to medicate for reflux when weight gain is good, that was the case for my DS but he was a "happy spitter" in that his reflux seemed to cause him very little discomfort and was mostly a laundry issue. Given all the crying your guy may be in pain in which case meds would be worthwhile, its tricky because whether you start them now or not you'll most likely find he is better in a few weeks (so hard to know if its the meds/reflux/elimination diet etc or just natural improvement). A bit like how reflux tends to improve by 4 months, so if you start solids early (some docs say at 4 months with reflux) you can't really tell if the solids improved it or if it got better on its own. Having your mum and gran help isn't a bad idea, a bit rough on your DH but might be worth it if you don't have a good support base here, if not then get a part time/full time maid who can at least take over the cooking, cleaning etc.

CC usually this will peak at around 6 weeks (fussyness for pretty much all babies peaks at 6 weeks) and improve quite a lot by 12 weeks, so hang in there your are probably living though the worst right now. this link might help http://www.parentingscience.com/what-is-colic.html Kie, thank you for your lovely words, my week has just been made :) Good tips from M (I remember your posts too, another surviver ;) ), do rule out reflux and consider things like dairy/wheat etc in your diet. Breastmilk will always be easier to digest than formula but sometimes it helps to cut a few things out of mums diet (although often it won't help, at least worth a try). If you have any issues with oversupply (i.e you have tonnes and tonnes of milk) then try googling lactose/foremilk overload for some tips. If you are having trouble burping, the best way I was shown involves sitting your baby up and gently moving moving them around in a circle kind of like a hula dancer (but sitting down) if that makes sense. Biggest thing is don't try and do this ALONE, you NEED help and support, don't be scared to ask your friends, family, neighbours etc. This is no failing on your part and the more help/rest you get the better you can help your baby. xx

CapeChick - have you considered the possibility that something you are eating or drinking may not be agreeing with your baby? Some of the ladies on this forum have previously shared tips on how breast milk can sometimes make babies uneasy. I raise it because the symptoms you describe resemble what my DD was going through and for us it was a case of very sore and gassy tummy as well as silent reflux. Much of this passed when we found a formula that agreed with her (I wasn't able to breastfeed) and medication that managed the reflux. I'm happy to report that due to the helpful advice of mums on this forum (you know who you are;) ) we were able to find ways of helping our little one settle. A couple of the mums here have had success with Colic Calm and other similar natural products. And I know this is difficult to accept but IT DOES PASS. I was in your shoes not too long ago myself and DD is almost 8 months old now and completely over the symptoms (plus the parents have relaxed quite a bit too and have accepted some things cannot be controlled or managed). Finally - do get a second opinion if the symptoms persist and your bub is not showing signs of improvement. Some 65% of colic cases are actually relfux but not properly diagnosed (a baby doesn't have to vomit to have reflux).

Just wanted to say Kie I remember your posts when your daughter was a newborn, I'm so pleased to hear that you are now coming out the other side of this. Having had 2 "colic/fussy/high needs" nephews I know that by 4 months they were greatly improved and are both charming, sensitive and extremely intelligent wee boys now. Some babies seem hyper-sensitive to sensory stimulation as newborns, but often once those same babies mature they can use their hyper-awareness to great advantage. Take care Kiwi, I shan't forget you. No word to thank you enough. The tips / info / advice you've shared with me and to the other mothers will be treasured forever. Bless you.

Because of the lack of sleep during the day he is overtired He was fussy today again, not wanting to sleep and crying when I put him down. Whats worse was that he was crying while I was carrying him and walking around too so I didn't know what to do. Tried giving him a pacifier to calm him but he doesn't know how to suck it. . My baby was also like this from 7 to 17 weeks. I just lived with it because I knew I tried everything (except for giving warm water / gripe water, formula, soilid food). I even blamed her silent reflux and colic. She even didnt want to be put in a sling. But now she enjoys when I put her on my Babybjourn baby carrier (this is my bestfriend especially when we are out shopping and she doesnt want to be in her pushchair. Can you try bringing her out even just outside of your villa / building of your flat? I noticed DD stopped crying when I bring her at the groundfloor of our apartment; maybe she liked it because of the different colours, sounds, smells, people,etc. Bought my sling and baby carrier at www.luxelittle.com There is a also Dubai Babywearing http://www.facebook.com/pages/Dubai-Babywearing/120317794705638?sk=wall&filter=12#!/pages/Dubai-Babywearing/120317794705638?sk=wall&filter=12

Just wanted to say Kie I remember your posts when your daughter was a newborn, I'm so pleased to hear that you are now coming out the other side of this. Having had 2 "colic/fussy/high needs" nephews I know that by 4 months they were greatly improved and are both charming, sensitive and extremely intelligent wee boys now. Some babies seem hyper-sensitive to sensory stimulation as newborns, but often once those same babies mature they can use their hyper-awareness to great advantage. Take care

Oh dear, I feel for you. My DD was not an easy baby from 7 to 17 weeks old. I remember I was crying whilst typing my post here asking for some help/tips. DD was like napping 5-10 mins only even I was already cuddling/rocking her. If I put her on the cot or on our bed she immediately woke up/cried. From 1pm to 10pm she was fussy/crying (sometimes till 1am or 2am). Tried everything but didn’t succeed to prevent her getting overtired. It felt like all she did was crying day and night.  She was 4 ½ weeks old when she learned to self-soothe by sucking her thumb, had to lay down beside her to put her to sleep even just for 20 minutes (3 x a day). At night she slept at 7 but after 20-30 mins, up and crying and took me 2 to 3 hours to put her back to sleep. DD is 8 ½ weeks old now and sleeps on her own. Her morning nap is 45 mins, mid-day nap is 45 mins to 2 hours and afternoon nap is 45 mins. Bedtime is 5:30pm. She’s still doesn’t sleep through the night, I still have to breastfeed her 2-3 times. I find it hard now to BF her during the day because she is so active and easily gets distracted. We have no family or relatives here, no maid, no babysitter and DH is at work from 8am to 7pm. I was quite emotional/sensitive/depress after giving birth but didn’t tell anyone. Told myself “this might be the PND I have read from one of my books’’ but didn’t entertain that “feeling(?)” as I have a baby who needs me. Can’t believe I survived those difficult days and nights. Maybe for my sanity I accepted with all my heart that my baby was not going to be an easy one. Don’t compare your baby with the other babies because you will only get frustrated. When DD was extremely fussy / crying baby my approach was to take a deep breath and no panicking (I know it is easier said than done) before I pick her up because baby can sense mother’s feelings. I have several books where I got some tips about sleeping cues (rubbing her eyes, pulling ears, yawning, etc) and routine. My favourite amongst the books I’ve read is Health Sleep Habits, Happy Child (Marc Weissbluth). I also have Gina Fords books (which I think is not for my DD), Baby Whisperer, Good Night Sleep Tight, Baby Love, Your Fussy Baby and The First Year. And I got good tips from the mothers on this forum. My tips for you: Wake him up at 7am. Feed then go out for 10-15 mins for some fresh air and sunlight. Don’t let him awake for more than 1 hour. Try putting him to sleep before he gets tired. It is really hard to put the baby to sleep when already tired/fussy. Watch his sleeping cues. You may notice he starts to get tired by 7:30am/7:45am so you really have to bring him in his room. Darken the room and start rocking him to sleep or lay down beside him. You really have to be consistent with your DS’s sleeping schedule. DD’s bedtime routine is: 5pm – bath time, feed, burp 5:30pm – I put her on her cot and I have to leave the room in less than 10 seconds so she falls asleep without any drama.  Between 10pm and 11pm – I dreamfeed her Between 1am and 3am – she wakes up for a feed. Between 6:30am and 7am – wake up time. She is my husband’s alarm clock. You may find 5pm/5:30pm is quite early but this works for her. Before her bedtime was 6:30/7pm but didn’t work. And before I forget even if your DS is being difficult, give him more hugs and kisses especially when it is his crying time. Sorry dear if you find my post a bit unstructured. There are so many things to say but I don’t know what/which to write first.

You poor thing! I do sympathise. We went through the same thing with both our sons - and I went to see a midwife called Cecile de Scally, who gives very good advice about feeding and sleep routines. She advised me to give our babies a mixure of boiled water, gripe water and infacol before EVERY feed, as gas can build up - and compounded by over tiredness, this will make them far less settled when it comes to bedtime. She also suggested we keep a hot water bottle on hand to keep the crib warm, so that when you put your baby back down after the feed, the bed is lovely and cosy like mum's arms, and it helps them to settle better. Colilc also tends to last from week 6 to week 12, and then miraculously settle. Cecile's number is 050 964 7938 - good luck - and remember, by the time baby is four months old, these episodes will be a distant memory. It really does get better!

You poor thing! I do sympathise. We went through the same thing with both our sons - and I went to see a midwife called Cecile de Scally, who gives very good advice about feeding and sleep routines. She advised me to give our babies a mixure of boiled water, gripe water and infacol before EVERY feed, as gas can build up - and compounded by over tiredness, this will make them far less settled when it comes to bedtime. She also suggested we keep a hot water bottle on hand to keep the crib warm, so that when you put your baby back down after the feed, the bed is lovely and cosy like mum's arms, and it helps them to settle better. Colilc also tends to last from week 6 to week 12, and then miraculously settle. Cecile's number is 050 964 7938 - good luck - and remember, by the time baby is four months old, these episodes will be a distant memory. It really does get better!

DD was an incredibly fussy baby from about 3 weeks until... oh, about last week! She's 15 weeks now. I found the only thing that actually made a difference was carrying her around in a sling. Not great for my back, but I'd take that over earache and through-the-roof stress levels any day. She just liked being held close. I did also notice she was far fussier when she was overtired, so having her nap in the sling meant when I did put her down for a nap she was happy to go to sleep instead of yelling through overtiredness.

Hi CapeChick, My eldest daughter suffered from colic and we spent a few weeks (around the 8 week mark) where she would just cry continuously for about 3 hours. After that, like yours, she would finally sleep. It took a lot of carrying her around, and I pretty much felt that my heart was breaking for her watching her cry and not being able to do anything. Firstly, Infacol is hit and miss. Some people swear that it works and others dont. With my eldest I only gave her infacol when she was actually suffering from colic and was crying - it didn't work!! With my youngest, I started infaacol pretty much from the first couple of weeks, and the advice from my Health Visitor and Midwife (back in the UK), was that you have to give the infacol before EVERY feed. This worked a charm with my youngest, she didn't suffer from colic at all (except odd episodes every few days) - and you can argue that it maybe because of the infacol, but likewise it may just be her. So my advice, is to carry on with the infacol but make sure you give it before every feed, whether she is suffering from colic or not. Secondly, I found that the best way for my children to deal with colic was to lie them on their tummy aacross my knees and rub their backs. Basically so that you putting pressure on their tummy which helps them relieve the gases in their stomach. So try that and see if it works. Don't worry - I know its a nightmare, but it does get better. By around 3 months the colic is usually over - I know that seems like ages away, but soon you'll see light at the end of the tunnel. Remember that for babies this is all new to them, so they don't know how to treat themselves, once they start getting used to their bodies and the way their body works it makes all the difference.

Hi there I think it is an element of personality, DS was very chilled and independent whereas DD would only sleep if someone was carrying her! Are you breastfeeding? With my son he would cry and scream and we thought it was colic but he actually wasn't getting enough milk (I know people say youproduce enough for your baby but i didn't find this to be the case) so we started giving him formula which seemed to help. WIth my daughter she would scream and cry and was also quite windy so i changed the formula she was on and this seemed to help and swaddling her also helped. Not sure if these are the case with your son but just possibilities to consider. It may not feel like it right now but it really does get better. <em>edited by natashab on 19/02/2012</em>

So sorry to read your post. DD was a fussy baby. She would often cry for hours every night and never liked to be put down for naps. I never really figured out the reason why. Just her personality I guess. Perhaps try not to worry about a routine for him at the moment, just do whatever he needs. Have you tried wearing a sling around the house so that you can get on with some things while he has a nap? What about lying down with him and having a snooze together? DD was often settled by a walk around the lake, at night too. She didn't like to be confined but lots of babies like to be swaddled. You must feel very tired and emotional but things will get better. Must be hard to see the bigger picture at the moment but some joyous moments of motherhood are just around the corner. xx