Please tell me it gets better! | ExpatWoman.com
 

Please tell me it gets better!

41
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 06 April 2011 - 23:31

I am over the moon to be the Mum of this lovely little boy BUT
Please someone tell me it will get better!
He is a lovely 4 weeks old little chap and I love him to bits but he
Just doesn't want to be put down. I mean not for a minute. Is that normal?
I know he is to tiny to be spoilt and of course he wants his Mumy all the time but
He would nor settle anywhere else but in my arms. The only way I get to do anything
Is with him in the sling strapped to me. He is a hungry little guy and feeds literally every hour!
He is adorable but I'm going bonkers. He is either eating (on the boob) or sleeping (on me). The only
He is ok sleeping somewhere else is in the pram when we go for a walk.
Gosh, i hope he grows out of it. Can't have a toddler falling asleep on me, Lol

41
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 10 April 2011 - 00:59
Well, it took me 2 days to come back with an update, so guess if it worked... So we tried the swaddle and it sort of worked the 1st time but he screamed his head off at the 2nd. I tried it again the next day and it worked a bit better but we "relapsed" by the evening, lol Thanks for The tip in any case. I think it's a bit hit& miss with my little guy but will keep trying time to time...
190
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 07 April 2011 - 20:22
I am a big fan of Dr. Karp and swaddling too - but how long can/should you swaddle for??? DD is 7 weeks and sleeps really well (swaddled) at night, however she will not nap much during the day not even when I try swaddling her and putting her in her moses. I read somewhere that once they reach 7/8 weeks you should stop fully swaddling them and just doing a half swaddle (under the arms), think due to the possibility of overheating and risk of SIDS. I really cannot imagine DD going for this, she is already fighting the swaddle during the day - and when she's in a tantrum she can already work her way out. Any thoughts?? She is very determined, I have no clue how I will get her to sleep at night without swaddling at this point.... Thanks in advance :) I kept swaddling and then DD just used to worn her way out until she was comfortable and gradually I didnt do it anymore as she would just get herself out of it. I guess they will find over time what they are comfortable with
46
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 07 April 2011 - 15:51
I am a big fan of Dr. Karp and swaddling too - but how long can/should you swaddle for??? DD is 7 weeks and sleeps really well (swaddled) at night, however she will not nap much during the day not even when I try swaddling her and putting her in her moses. I read somewhere that once they reach 7/8 weeks you should stop fully swaddling them and just doing a half swaddle (under the arms), think due to the possibility of overheating and risk of SIDS. I really cannot imagine DD going for this, she is already fighting the swaddle during the day - and when she's in a tantrum she can already work her way out. Any thoughts?? She is very determined, I have no clue how I will get her to sleep at night without swaddling at this point.... Thanks in advance :)
1236
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 07 April 2011 - 12:45
My DS was a fretful baby too and I could have ended up carrying him around 24/7. At 9 pounds in weight, it wasn't an option! I did the swaddle thing using a shawl with my smell on it! He was tucked up in his Moses basket between feeds and I chatted or sang until he fell asleep. He's now a strapping 28 year old 6 footer and still loves his mummy :D x
190
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 07 April 2011 - 12:29
It does get better  and it won’t always be this way. I’m with the swaddling too, it worked brilliantly my DD wouldn’t sleep at all unless she was wrapped up really tight. And with the feeding so frequently, is he latching on properly and making the most out of the feed? If not he maybe be struggling to release the milk and stopping feeding when satisfied rather than full With my DD when she was going through a growth spurt I would express milk and bottle feed her, this way she seemed to take more milk in (I assume this anyway, I couldn’t tell how much she was getting from the b00b though) and she seemed to settle a lot better and not need feeding quite so frequently. Good luck and stay strong 
1861
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 07 April 2011 - 12:06
Please don't assume that frequent feeding is automatically A Bad Habit ("snacking", "comfort feeding", etc...) that needs to be nipped in the bud... 4 weeks is so early and their tummies are so small and [i'>every baby is different.[/i'>, so it could just be him and what he needs at this point in time. As he grows, his needs will change and iron themselves out. Little babies have very basic needs - love, comfort, food and sleep - and will manipulate the important people in their lives to get these. Don't make the mistake of understanding "manipulate" in the grown-up way of "getting people to do what you want out of spite or ulterior motive"... for babies their only ulterior motive is "if I don't do this I will die", which is hardly malicious! I found that helped a lot when faced with endless crying or cuddles... kind of put some perspective on it (also remember that they have no notion of time yet - it's all now or never!) - "if I am not fed, I will die", "if mummy doesn't come when I cry, I have been abandoned and I will die".
41
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 07 April 2011 - 11:37
Thanks Ladies! I'll try the swaddle and the dummy today and let u know how we got on. I had no idea about the hands and arms moving when tired. Thought the right opposite: that he wants to Be up! Gosh, this is trickier than I ever thought!
671
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EW GURU
Latest post on 07 April 2011 - 11:36
Yes - it's normal! For nine months he's been cocooned in a lovely warm womb being swayed and carried, and he needs the security and comfort of being close to you now he's out in the big wide world. It *doesn't* last long (although it may seem like that now!), and you may well find that you miss these times when he's bigger and doesn't need you in the same way. Frequent feeding is also normal - boobies are nature's way of meeting the baby's need to suck, and by so doing, milk supply is established. If you introduce a dummy or spaced feedings at this early age, you would risk impacting your milk supply and also sufficient nutrition for your little one. It is recommended that dummies, if used, are not introduced to babies until mum's milk supply has been fully established (usually 6-8 weeks); after this point there is no documented risk to supply. Carrying him in a sling is a great strategy which helps a lot of mums. Of course if he's not cueing hunger, then anyone could carry him, if you have family/friends/help around the house - it doesn't have to be you! Swaddling has also been suggested - this also helps a lot of babies. As for evening cluster feeding, some mums find that it helps to plan their day around this, knowing that they will be camped out on the sofa (catching up on TV? reading if you're able to balance a book and a baby). Now is the time to pull out all those home delivery menus (if you haven't already!), and to take advantage of any offers to cook dinner. Hang in there - this too shall pass. xx
1238
Posts
EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 07 April 2011 - 08:34
Swaddle (as the other posters said) and binky (dummy). Swaddling is basically what you are doing by carrying him around - it makes a baby feel safe as it feels like being inside. Also, babies have no control over their motor reflexes, so their little arms and legs will jerk when they get tired - making it difficult for them to go to sleep - hence, the swaddle. We love the ones from mothercare. And the binky or dummy or soother - your baby is using you for a soother. As soon as your baby gets tired (you can tell because your baby will start jerking) wrap him up in the swaddle, give him a soother, and put him down with a little music. My first son was like yours and, as a new mum, I had no idea what to do - so I carried him around for months and months. But with my other three, I figured it out ...
730
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EW GURU
Latest post on 07 April 2011 - 07:44
Agree with the swaddling. It worked for DS. Other advice, carry him around in his sling. Feed him when he needs it...it's probably a growth spurt he's going through. They usually last 3 days. Otherwise, make sure he's feeding and not just snacking. Try stretch him to 3 hours between feeds (timed from the start of the last to the start of the next). Get DH or someone else to hold him while you try stretching him. He will smell te milk on you an it'll be harder for you both. But even with the 3 hour gap, they take about 45min to feed at this age. So by the time you've fed an burped him and he has a nap. It's pretty much feeding time again anyway. It is hard work. But it does get better. When he's older he will manage to feed quicker and possibly go longer between feeds. So it does get better. Have u got a play arch? Both my boys liked to lie under one from a very early age. You could try one.
18
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 07 April 2011 - 06:21
He's only 4 weeks old? I don't think he's trying to manipulate you.......yet. Swaddle him. It's kinda hot for outdoors but, for a nap inside swaddle. Sorry if this is obvious but, when we had our first we didn't realize how much it helps. They like to feel like they don't have a lot of room (like they are still in the womb). It really worked for us. I am a big fan of this: http://www.happiestbaby.com/book-dvd-excerpts/the-happiest-baby-book/ Good luck. :)
2725
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 06 April 2011 - 23:36
Fretty, babies will want to get away with murder if we let them, you may need to try and put him in his crib with a music mobile and try and not hold him so much. I can understand this will be hard, but babies memory span is so short he will get used to it, honestly. He may cry for a wee while, dont fret to much, unless he really does heartly cries. Hope this helps.
 
 

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