Toddlers and discipline - SuperNanny required!

I'm pretty sure a lot of my frustration is to do with the general exhaustion of running around after an active toddler while 8 months pregnant, but DS's behaviour is... somewhat challenging! And I'm not sure I'm going the right way about helping him learn how to behave properly. He's almost 16 months old. Any tips or advice much appreciated!

[u]Feeding[/u]

Some days he's a great eater, other days he's a horror. He wants his own spoon which is great, and I'm trying to get him to feed himself, but he's only interested in bashing up whatever's in his bowl and throwing food/his bowl/his sippy cup/ whatever's in his hand. The other day he had a tantrum because I wouldn't give him the spoon I had, after he'd thrown the one he had, so he snatched it and threw it in my face.

[u]Understanding - and accepting - no! [/u]

I'm pretty sure he understands me when I say no, but he chooses to ignore it most of the time. He tries to climb on the coffee table and jump up and down, which is obviously dangerous, but thinks it's funny when I tell him no and take him down. He wants to play with the dogs' water bowl and dunk his toys in there, and when I say no and take him away the minute my back is turned he's back there. He also likes to post his toys in the bin and even repeats when I say 'dirty', but when I say no he carries on touching the bin.

[u]Tantrums when he doesn't get his own way [/u]

I guess this part is just normal but I'm not sure I'm dealing with it in the right way. For example, when he has his milk before a nap or bedtime he wants to play with the lid of the bottle. So, we have a sip of milk then put the lid back on. Then a sip, then the lid back on. So as you can imagine, it takes forever to finish the milk. This morning I knew he was tired so I took the lid away so he would have his milk, and he had a full-on paddy, flinging his head back and trying to hit me. I took the bottle away and put him to bed. Other times I've tried putting him on the floor if he's been in my arms - and he thinks that's great so he can run around again - or telling him firmly and loudly 'no'. This makes no difference whatsoever.

A friend suggested a naughty step but my chances of him actually staying on there are slim to none, so instead I've brought the travel cot downstairs and if he ignores 'no' or is naughty, I've been putting him in there. The first time he thought it was fun, so that didn't work. The last couple of times he's realised it's not fun in there and he's complained, but I'm just not sure he's getting why he's in there or that he's working out if he misbehaves he gets put in there.

Any other ideas? Or is it just 'suck it up' until he's a bit bigger?