How does your DH cope when you are not here... | Page 4 | ExpatWoman.com
 

How does your DH cope when you are not here...

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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 17 April 2014 - 15:36
I must admit that I find it incredible that there are still women out there who feel it is their obligation to provide their presumably adult husbands with a full maid service during their holidays, including cleaning up after him when they get back! Wow. It's a wonder your husbands' can hold down a full time job, since they are clearly unable to read basic documents such as cookery books or instructions for the washing machine. It seems my own husband has been very unlucky in marriage, since I expect that he can clothe, feed and clean himself. And that's not just when I'm away, but when I'm at home too.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 17 April 2014 - 13:15
Yes if you are new, then you probably won't know about the full free babysitting services available ;) LOL!!! Must keep my eyes open obviously!!!
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 17 April 2014 - 13:09
I had hoped (very tongue in cheek here) that there was a service I could arrange to babysit 'orphaned' husbands (I can't find where the smilies are, but insert really cheeky smilie here). Thanks all! edited by puck on 17/04/2014 There is, they are called filipino maids, insert evil smiley here ........... some even offer full service..... but not just maids or filipinos Mmmmmm - that's giving me ideas!!! Evil ones!!!! Haven't been here long enough to work it all out, but will have to do some thinking *very evil smile*!!! Yes if you are new, then you probably won't know about the full free babysitting services available ;)
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 17 April 2014 - 13:08
I have a slightly different take on it. My DH works long hours and does a lot of travel. I don't. So my primary job is to look after my family. When we go away over summer, leaving DH here alone to look after himself I do a few things to hopefully make the stay easier on him. I would feel guilty if I get to travel to nicer places for a month or more and he gets to stay home and work over the horrible summer. I put lots of pre made meals in the freezer and ensure the cupboards are stocked with things he likes (including drinks). I get a maid service for once a week and make sure the person coming is aware that they need to do the ironing etc. Of course my DH can cope with a few weeks alone - but my hopefully doing all I can before I go will make it easier on him. edited by australiajudy on 17/04/2014 AustraliaJudy - you've got a very lucky DH! I do feel the same way as you do - I'm a lady of leisure, and have the time (thanks to him working here and working the hours he does). Just finding out what others do is interesting. I think I probably need to be better organised next time! Must remember to get the Lindt bunnies before I go! ;-)
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 17 April 2014 - 13:03
I had hoped (very tongue in cheek here) that there was a service I could arrange to babysit 'orphaned' husbands (I can't find where the smilies are, but insert really cheeky smilie here). Thanks all! edited by puck on 17/04/2014 There is, they are called filipino maids, insert evil smiley here ........... some even offer full service..... but not just maids or filipinos Mmmmmm - that's giving me ideas!!! Evil ones!!!! Haven't been here long enough to work it all out, but will have to do some thinking *very evil smile*!!!
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 17 April 2014 - 12:59
I had hoped (very tongue in cheek here) that there was a service I could arrange to babysit 'orphaned' husbands (I can't find where the smilies are, but insert really cheeky smilie here). Thanks all! edited by puck on 17/04/2014 There is, they are called filipino maids, insert evil smiley here ........... some even offer full service..... but not just maids or filipinos
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 17 April 2014 - 12:59
I had hoped (very tongue in cheek here) that there was a service I could arrange to babysit 'orphaned' husbands (I can't find where the smilies are, but insert really cheeky smilie here). Thanks all! edited by puck on 17/04/2014 There is, they are called filipino maids, insert evil looking cheeky smiley here ........... <em>edited by Alismum on 17/04/2014</em>
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 17 April 2014 - 12:40
I have a slightly different take on it. My DH works long hours and does a lot of travel. I don't. So my primary job is to look after my family. When we go away over summer, leaving DH here alone to look after himself I do a few things to hopefully make the stay easier on him. I would feel guilty if I get to travel to nicer places for a month or more and he gets to stay home and work over the horrible summer. I put lots of pre made meals in the freezer and ensure the cupboards are stocked with things he likes (including drinks). I get a maid service for once a week and make sure the person coming is aware that they need to do the ironing etc. Of course my DH can cope with a few weeks alone - but my hopefully doing all I can before I go will make it easier on him. <em>edited by australiajudy on 17/04/2014</em>
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 17 April 2014 - 12:33
Oh gosh puck, have you seen the NZ news today?! Clear blue skies are not a'happening right now! I hope the weather clears before you arrive. You shouldn't feel guilty about your husband being so busy at work then having to come home exhausted and cook. Lots of women and plenty of men do it every day :) Beans on toast with a poached egg on top takes 5 minutes, he'll be fine. Enjoy your trip and the lovely green green hills and fresh air of NZ and Oz.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 17 April 2014 - 12:26
Thanks for the responses. Sarahlou and Alismum - good points - I'll get an agency cleaner in the day before I get home. Yes, need to have fun as well. Looking forward to the cool, green and (hopefully) clear blue skies of NZ and Oz! Lolacat - you're right - they can cope when they have to! JoyceB - yup, needs to man up! I just feel guilty when he's so busy at work, comes home absolutely exhausted and then has to try to cook, which is totally out of his comfort zone. AudreyFB - yes, I think the loneliness will be an issue but he may also enjoy the peace and quiet and not being dragged off around all the places I want to go over the weekends ;-) Daza - [i'>"Out of interest OP, did your husband move in with you straight after living with his parents or has he had to look after himself before?"[/i'> You've hit it on the head!!! He moved out of home into his own place, but as he was farming, it was the norm to have a cook who did all that stuff, and then we got married, and the cook stayed with us until we moved to Oz. I've always been happy doing the cooking (he's very good at helping / doing the rest of the domestic duties) so he's never had to learn. I think I'll have to work out a basic cooking program for when I get back so that he can learn the basics. I had hoped (very tongue in cheek here) that there was a service I could arrange to babysit 'orphaned' husbands (I can't find where the smilies are, but insert really cheeky smilie here). Thanks all! <em>edited by puck on 17/04/2014</em>
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 17 April 2014 - 11:59
I've been away a few times leaving my husband here and to be honest it's never crossed my mind to wonder how my husband will cope. He probably falls in to the 'un-domesticated' group and he may not do things as I would do them or eat what I would cook but what does it matter? It's generalising but I think a lot of men will avoid doing domestic things if they can but when push comes to shove they are perfectly capable of looking after themselves, and a house too. Even if they would rather that we don't find that out ;) Out of interest OP, did your husband move in with you straight after living with his parents or has he had to look after himself before?
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 17 April 2014 - 11:31
1st year living here I took kids to Europe for summer and my dh arrived half way through to spend 2 weeks on holiday.....we met him off boat appearing to be several pounds heavier after far to much red wine and pizzas but he can cook just chose not to! Fact is I arranged cleaner and made sure his shirts were ironed but he admitted to being quite lonely but 3 weeks is fine and agree with Lolacat as not doing him any favours if all he can rustle up is a bag of crisps :)
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 17 April 2014 - 11:15
I agree with Lolacat. This is 2014 and men should no longer be dependant on their wives to be in sole charge of all things domestic. I've been married 37 years and my DH is 65. He has always been able to cook and do housework. We both worked and shared the housework and cooking. We are now retired and we both muck in on "housework day" I am away a fair bit when I take my Guides camping or when I go to South Africa for a month at a time doing voluntary stuff. I don't run about daft filling the fridge or freezer for my DH. He sorts himself out. Tell your DH to man up :D
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 17 April 2014 - 11:03
When I lived in England and Europe I left my husband many times to visit my family whilst he worked. I filled the freezer up with Tescos specials or homemade meals and left him enough clean clothes. When I came back after 2 or 3 weeks, the house was always a tip and it took me two or three days to do a full clean up job. Here you will be able to hire a cleaner. No problemo really. Have fun. <em>edited by Alismum on 17/04/2014</em>
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 17 April 2014 - 10:45
You don't deal with it, they do and as they are grown ups who hold good jobs they can adapt or not it's their choice. Leave a few lists and a few instructions posted around as to how to use certain things and then go and enjoy your time away! Men can cope and will!
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 17 April 2014 - 10:44
Well, I'm heading off on an os trip for three weeks and leaving the two woofs in DH's care. DH works very long hours (someone will pop in to entertain the woofs during the day so at least they'll be okay!), but the problem is that DH is not very domesticated! He does know how to use the washing machine (basic wash only), the dish washer (it only has two options), vacuum cleaner, iron (although it's painful watching him!), the microwave, how to make toast and fry an egg, and that's about it! I've been cooking and freezing meals for him for the last two days, and I really am over the whole process. Had to go and buy a chest freezer to keep all his meals!!! So, my question is - what do you do with your DH if they fall into the un-domesticated group and you're away for a few weeks? I'm interested in how you deal with this... Agency cleaner and takeaways lol
 
 

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