Oh 7 days story about Brit teen dumping baby

This is a very sad story that is absolutely none of our business. Mum, baby, parents, friends etc could be reading all these threads and I for one would feel very sick that people could give opinions, gossip etc etc on what is clearly a very personal matter about someone I knew. I think it is ok to give opinions about celebrities that put themselves into the public eye for criticism etc but this is too personal surely to discuss on an open forum. Every single story we read in any newspaper is about a real person. Just because the western expat community here is small and we're more likely to know the person's family directly doesn't mean to say no-one should be allowed to discuss it. Neither the girl nor her family have to come forward to clarify or justify anything... however, if it's a case of doing so or letting the papers continue to spread falsities, then, well, I know what I'd want to do... from the safety of my home country.

How is your view different from SM's? Read the thread.. All 3 pages of it...no cheating...quiz on Thursday!

If a teenager wanted to purchase some of the contraception which is openly on sale in supermarkets here, would they be allowed to without having to prove their age and whether they were married?

It is the greater "theme" that I was talking about on here - the attitude to women here. Discussions about hard life topics are one of the important ways people and societies advance. We no longer live in times where personal family discussions stayed at home. I think these discussions are progressive and productive as long as we don't turn attacks personal on each other or the people central to the story. SM and I have differing views on this particular topic but I welcome her take and input (and hopefully she is open to mine as well). How is your view different from SM's? Read the thread..

It is the greater "theme" that I was talking about on here - the attitude to women here. Discussions about hard life topics are one of the important ways people and societies advance. We no longer live in times where personal family discussions stayed at home. I think these discussions are progressive and productive as long as we don't turn attacks personal on each other or the people central to the story. SM and I have differing views on this particular topic but I welcome her take and input (and hopefully she is open to mine as well).

It is the greater "theme" that I was talking about on here - the attitude to women here.

This is a very sad story that is absolutely none of our business. Mum, baby, parents, friends etc could be reading all these threads and I for one would feel very sick that people could give opinions, gossip etc etc on what is clearly a very personal matter about someone I knew. I think it is ok to give opinions about celebrities that put themselves into the public eye for criticism etc but this is too personal surely to discuss on an open forum.

I see there is a new slant on this in 7 Days today....

It just disturbs me that the girl apparently went to hospital for post-birth bleeding because she was worried (and did not think it was normal) yet left her baby on the street alone? I really hope that the girl gets the helps that she needs and that the baby in future is always put first wherever he ends up. Sad sad story. :-(

I truly hope this is the real story and there will be a happy ending for all concerned but it's a bit of an ask to believe that even 7Days would deliberately fabricate actual statements by police officials. (Bearing in mind that there is no journalistic protection in UAE) no, I didn't consider the journalists to be fabricating a story... JJ, fair enough. I hope there's a happy outcome and that everyone concerned can be left to get on with their lives without stigma. or family friends gossiping about it :-(

I truly hope this is the real story and there will be a happy ending for all concerned but it's a bit of an ask to believe that even 7Days would deliberately fabricate actual statements by police officials. (Bearing in mind that there is no journalistic protection in UAE) no, I didn't consider the journalists to be fabricating a story... JJ, fair enough. I hope there's a happy outcome and that everyone concerned can be left to get on with their lives without stigma.

I truly hope this is the real story and there will be a happy ending for all concerned but it's a bit of an ask to believe that even 7Days would deliberately fabricate actual statements by police officials. (Bearing in mind that there is no journalistic protection in UAE) well its not been in the Daily Mail yet, and we all know how they love a good Dubai bashing story so perhaps it didn't quite add up for them....

I truly hope this is the real story and there will be a happy ending for all concerned but it's a bit of an ask to believe that even 7Days would deliberately fabricate actual statements by police officials. (Bearing in mind that there is no journalistic protection in UAE)

Well i have just heard a completely different version of what can only be this story and it looks as if 7 days reporting is of their usual calibre! Unless that is two 18 year old brit girls have both delivered out of wedlock in the last couple of weeks!!!! I won't go into to details but it's nothing like the 7 days story and she didn't dump the baby! oh, go on, please tell us what you've heard. Free speech and all that... tbh, it wouldn't surprise me if the tale is more sordid that her dumping the baby, but of course, painting her in an "unworthy criminal mother" light would go a long way to reinforce certain ways of thinking. <em>edited by Hello.Kitty on 08/01/2011</em>

Of course she may not want to be reunited with her baby - she is only 18 years old and it may be that it is better that this baby go to a family where it is wanted.

Although it is a tragedy for both mum and the baby, with long lasting consequences, there is one positive thing which can be said about the whole story. It has been reported by a newspaper which means the subject is no longer taboo. In fact, there has been many cases like this which have been reported in recent months. The fact these stories never got reported before did not mean that the problem did not exist. The other thing is it can happen to anyone, whether from a poor, uneducated background or from a more educated background, even a western background. I think that because it has happened to a westerner (and she wont be the first or the last one), it is no longer possible for the authorities to sweep it under the carpet. I do hope this poor young girl gets all the help she needs and can be reunited with her baby asap.

DR are you sure you havn't muddled the BA hostess who delivered in SA from Dubai or the one who was taken in to the desert and raped? Do you have any news link to the one you are referring to because with a quick google i can't find it and most cases are somewhere on the net. The dumping the baby part might be more of an issue in this case. No jane I'm not muddling cases up. I didnt even know about the two you're referring to. As for links - I'm sorry but I won't be posting any. It happened and people have probably moved on quite a bit from when it did. I can confirm this. It was a while ago and although I didn't know the girl personally I knew of her. It was kept quiet for obvious reasons and not sure it was even in the papers.

I was best friends with a girl that the reverse happened to. Senior year we were together constantly and her parents were very involved in her life. She even played varsity softball. you would not believe that no one had any idea she was pregnant. She gained little weight but carried it all over. I remember at a Superbowl party she was hunched over in pain holding her left side. She was rushed to the hospital as we all thought it was her appendix. She was 7 months pregnant!!! She had a c-section and put her daughter up for adoption. We were both 17 at the time and it was not common. Years later she believes she had some mind over matter way of dealing with it. Her daughter is now 18 and found her of all things on facebook. The family that adopted her had been on a wait list for years. Here in Dubai my MIL told me years ago mothers would leave newborn babies in front of the palaces. Most likely babies out of wedlock. She said they were not refused and very well taken care of.

[quote Neither do you take on board the issue of hormones..I'm going through " the other end of the hormone issue " right now and believe me there are days where my rage got so bad that I did feel like I could kill someone ( and I am not exaggerating) - thankfully I am now on HRT. You can't discount hormones in all of this either. What about these poor mothers who end up swinging from their light fixture? You don't need to be in full blown PND to be sideswiped. . I had a second cousin who was desperate for a baby and never likely to have one, she was so desperate she ended up having a phantom pregnancy. Her tummy grew, she was able to express colostrum, she had the whole pregnancy experience till she 'reached' 6 months and she was admitted to hospital for quite some time. If I hadnt seen it with my own eyes I wouldnt have believed it possible. I'm of the mind that if a persons mind can do that to them - its equally likely it can make a person not believe they are pregnant. Maybe thats what happened to this wee girl.

DR are you sure you havn't muddled the BA hostess who delivered in SA from Dubai or the one who was taken in to the desert and raped? Do you have any news link to the one you are referring to because with a quick google i can't find it and most cases are somewhere on the net. The dumping the baby part might be more of an issue in this case. No jane I'm not muddling cases up. I didnt even know about the two you're referring to. As for links - I'm sorry but I won't be posting any. It happened and people have probably moved on quite a bit from when it did.

@ Desert Rose - That's good to know, I hope the outcome is similar in this case.

the baby is born to a British mother and I assume the father is also British. There must some precident for this as the baby is a British Subject by birth??? What does being British got to do with this? Don't you need a birth certificate here that you then take to your embassy? They do not give them for out of wedlock babies as far as know unless they make exceptions. I sure hope they do though. I do not know how British embassy helps in cases like these. But jail in my opinion is totally wrong solution. I think the girl has been punished enough. She needs some mother's love herself I am sure. A few years ago an unmarried British air Hostess with a regional airline gave birth after keeping her pregnancy a secret, though I'm not sure if she did it deliberately or if her mind failed to register she was pregnant. She delivered early but not that early. The British Embassy stepped in and her and her baby were given all the necessary travel documents to enable her to leave the country where this happened. I think something along these lines will happen for the wee girl who's found herself in this very sad mess. I suspect the Government concerned was glad to be able to wash their hands of the problem and I dont for a minute think the girl will ever go home without her baby, and I think they'll go home sooner rather than later. edited by DesertRose1958 on 07/01/2011 Thanks for clarifying and I hope this is the case. I know the laws of this country, but I still feel having baby out of wedlock should not be considered a crime that gets punished with prison. Who does that help? Not the baby nor the mother.

@Livelytrish & simpleasabc The "lynch mob" mentality works both ways, so before you go and insult me and other people for voicing opinions contrary to your own, it might be nice to curb your own lynch mob posts directed at us. No one is attacking this girl or each other, we are merely voicing our opinions and discussing the situation - can't we do that without being insulted? Also, I hardly think that you have to have a daughter of your own to deal with women's matters. But to qualify myself to speak on this matter: 1) I have a daughter 2) I have 2 children out of wedlock 3) I was pregnant at 18, had a child & was virtually excommunicated by my father (not in a religious, but familial sense) However, I did not and it never crossed my mind to: 1) Hide my pregnancy 2) Dump my newborn child onto the street Emotionally, of course I am drawn to the mother of the child. Do I personally think premarital *** or having children out of wedlock should be a crime? No. But here is the reality: - At 18 you are hardly a child. - A baby doesn't spontaneously appear, there were 10 months of time to reflect on what to do. - It is a crime to have a child out of wedlock in the UAE - It is a crime to abandon a baby or a child in the UAE (among many other countries that are more lenient in these matters) Of course, this is a sad situation for all involved -- and of course I hope she gets support and love from her family in this time. But has she committed a crime...absolutely. I think the thing is that you said "virtually excommunicated" - - as someone else said we don't know all the facts but who knows what could have happened to this girl. If this girl had been from the Horn of Africa, would we be having more sympathy? People would be making excuses for her.... You only have to read some of the cases in the Xpress newspaper each week to realise that there are people in this big shiny city that lead the lives of tribal Pakistanis. Neither do you take on board the issue of hormones..I'm going through " the other end of the hormone issue " right now and believe me there are days where my rage got so bad that I did feel like I could kill someone ( and I am not exaggerating) - thankfully I am now on HRT. You can't discount hormones in all of this either. What about these poor mothers who end up swinging from their light fixture? You don't need to be in full blown PND to be sideswiped. I think that people have jumped here seeing the words - "Brit"and "18" and have decided "indulged party girl"based on all these threads about "oooooh the teens are so spoilt here blah blah" or " oooh teens have parties here balh blah " usually by people who admit themselves that they don't have any teens but are worrying about the future! :\: This case reminded me of a girl I taught - she was in class one day and she had a baby the next and I had never even noticed she was pregnant - nor had her parents. She did not show and continued to wear regular school uniform. She was in denial and that was in an environment where these things are discussed as opposed to swept under the carpet like here. No one is saying that it is right what she did - just trying to be understanding.

So, you're a young girl, still living with your parents. Then you dump your baby. There's a whole h*ll of a lot of questions that happen in between time: 1. Did she even know that she was pregnant? Some of you will scoff, but if you have an irregular period, have been told that anything to do with ***, including menstruation, is taboo-level dirty; there were very limited chances of impregnation, or really haven't been told how "it all" happens, maybe you don't. 2. Where was the father in all of this? Was it a fly-by-night encounter? Was it a long term boyfriend, known to the parents, or was it (and I'll be pillioried for this), a family member or close friend responsible? 3. Was she capable of recognising that she would be giving birth to a human being? There have been many studies of women in impossible situations (victims of rape in a war zone, incest victims, etc), who have been incapable of realizing that, as a consequence of the crimes they've experienced, they have a new life to protect. Instead, it's an unwanted consequence of a violation they cannot face. 4. Were the laws here too much to deal with? In which case, why didn't she talk to her parents and go elsewhere? I don't think that #4 is the answer. I think this girl was terrified, alone (mentally or physically), and unable to recognise what was happening to her. I don't think that she was in a position to talk to her parents, because of their viewpoints towards sexuality. And I certainly don't think that an 18 year old of any culture would have the knowledge to check out her legal position with regards to unmarried pregnancy. If she did, there wouldn't be a headline. It's just a pity that she's not going to get any help here, because she obviously didn't get any help when she was pregnant The bigger pity is that, as far as I know, nothing will happen to the father (not that it would in the western world, in this circumstance).