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Oh 7 days story about Brit teen dumping baby

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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 07 January 2011 - 23:58
@Livelytrish & simpleasabc The "lynch mob" mentality works both ways, so before you go and insult me and other people for voicing opinions contrary to your own, it might be nice to curb your own lynch mob posts directed at us. No one is attacking this girl or each other, we are merely voicing our opinions and discussing the situation - can't we do that without being insulted? Also, I hardly think that you have to have a daughter of your own to deal with women's matters. But to qualify myself to speak on this matter: 1) I have a daughter 2) I have 2 children out of wedlock 3) I was pregnant at 18, had a child & was virtually excommunicated by my father (not in a religious, but familial sense) However, I did not and it never crossed my mind to: 1) Hide my pregnancy 2) Dump my newborn child onto the street Emotionally, of course I am drawn to the mother of the child. Do I personally think premarital *** or having children out of wedlock should be a crime? No. But here is the reality: - At 18 you are hardly a child. - A baby doesn't spontaneously appear, there were 10 months of time to reflect on what to do. - It is a crime to have a child out of wedlock in the UAE - It is a crime to abandon a baby or a child in the UAE (among many other countries that are more lenient in these matters) Of course, this is a sad situation for all involved -- and of course I hope she gets support and love from her family in this time. But has she committed a crime...absolutely.
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 07 January 2011 - 20:36
the baby is born to a British mother and I assume the father is also British. There must some precident for this as the baby is a British Subject by birth??? What does being British got to do with this? Don't you need a birth certificate here that you then take to your embassy? They do not give them for out of wedlock babies as far as know unless they make exceptions. I sure hope they do though. I do not know how British embassy helps in cases like these. But jail in my opinion is totally wrong solution. I think the girl has been punished enough. She needs some mother's love herself I am sure. A few years ago an unmarried British air Hostess with a regional airline gave birth after keeping her pregnancy a secret, though I'm not sure if she did it deliberately or if her mind failed to register she was pregnant. She delivered early but not that early. The British Embassy stepped in and her and her baby were given all the necessary travel documents to enable her to leave the country where this happened. I think something along these lines will happen for the wee girl who's found herself in this very sad mess. I suspect the Government concerned was glad to be able to wash their hands of the problem and I dont for a minute think the girl will ever go home without her baby, and I think they'll go home sooner rather than later. <em>edited by DesertRose1958 on 07/01/2011</em>
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 07 January 2011 - 20:28
I have to admit, when I was reading through a couple of the posts on here, it did cross my mind to wonder if those women - who vere so quick to condemn this poor frightened and traumatised child - had daughters of their own. Or had ever been daughters themselves? (Something wrong, Shirley?) I've a feeling the assumption is being made that because the girl is British, she is also from a WASP family. As someone sensible below mentioned, it could well be that she is from a culture which also condemns sox before marriage or having a child out of wedlock and was scared silly to tell anyone about it.
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 07 January 2011 - 20:21
I have to admit, when I was reading through a couple of the posts on here, it did cross my mind to wonder if those women - who vere so quick to condemn this poor frightened and traumatised child - had daughters of their own.
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EW GURU
Latest post on 07 January 2011 - 20:12
All I can say is poor, poor baby (and that is for the newborn [i'>and [/i'>the 18 year old). As I was reading this I looked at my 2yr old baby girl and could only wonder how I would feel if this happened to her and she felt she couldn't come to me for help... what a very sad, desperate situation. As for saying that the grandparents would surely not allow their grandchild to go into an orphanage, well, who knows?! After all there are cases in certain cultures (whether they are 'British' or not) where parents will murder their own grown child for 'disgracing the family name'. If this poor 18 year old is from one of those cultures then she may well be abandoned to her fate, and her illegitimate child too and I could see how this sad story could unfold in the first place. My heart goes out to them both.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 07 January 2011 - 20:12
the baby is born to a British mother and I assume the father is also British. There must some precident for this as the baby is a British Subject by birth??? What does being British got to do with this? Don't you need a birth certificate here that you then take to your embassy? They do not give them for out of wedlock babies as far as know unless they make exceptions. I sure hope they do though. I do not know how British embassy helps in cases like these. But jail in my opinion is totally wrong solution. I think the girl has been punished enough. She needs some mother's love herself I am sure.
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 07 January 2011 - 19:58
it will be interesting to see the outcome of this.
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 07 January 2011 - 19:53
Under that precedent any child born to a citizen of another country would be ok, which we know they are not.
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 07 January 2011 - 19:50
the baby is born to a British mother and I assume the father is also British. There must some precident for this as the baby is a British Subject by birth??? Nope, not that i am aware of.
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 07 January 2011 - 19:49
the baby is born to a British mother and I assume the father is also British. There must some precident for this as the baby is a British Subject by birth???
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 07 January 2011 - 19:33
Jj we dont know that the baby will be an orphan and brought up in the UAE, never to see its mother. Good heavens, the parents might bring up the baby now they know about it. I doubt they would put their grandchild in an orphanage. We can make all the suppositions we like but we are all responding to the article in 7 days. None of us really know the whole story, other than she left her baby on the street after having the baby. She could have had a girlfriend with her for all we know, who has since left the scene. Of course she would be distraught as it must have been horrible for her to first have the child then leave it on the street. I can empathize with her in having to leave her child. Some of us were commenting on the law of the land, I dont think anyone was saying burn the poor girl at the stake :). anyway, i do hope it works out and she is able to leave the country with her child if she can. The child can not have a birth certificate, it was born and delivered out of wedlock, its an orphan now, citizen of the state. (i would think) <em>edited by Jumeriah Jane on 07/01/2011</em>
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 07 January 2011 - 19:31
Jj we dont know that the baby will be an orphan and brought up in the UAE, never to see its mother. Good heavens, the parents might bring up the baby now they know about it. I doubt they would put their grandchild in an orphanage. We can make all the suppositions we like but we are all responding to the article in 7 days. None of us really know the whole story, other than she left her baby on the street after having the baby. She could have had a girlfriend with her for all we know, who has since left the scene. Of course she would be distraught as it must have been horrible for her to first have the child then leave it on the street. I can empathize with her in having to leave her child. Some of us were commenting on the law of the land, I dont think anyone was saying burn the poor girl at the stake :). anyway, i do hope it works out and she is able to leave the country with her child if she can.
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 07 January 2011 - 19:26
Yes, the streets will certainly be safer once these dangerous criminals have been rounded up. So very very sad in every sense. As for some of the posters on this thread, well done for keeping up the lynch mob reputation - can none of you even begin the comprehend the term "out of one's mind with fear"? Poor poor kid........and I don't just mean the baby. Where's the like thumb?
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 07 January 2011 - 18:47
Yes, the streets will certainly be safer once these dangerous criminals have been rounded up. So very very sad in every sense. As for some of the posters on this thread, well done for keeping up the lynch mob reputation - can none of you even begin the comprehend the term "out of one's mind with fear"? Poor poor kid........and I don't just mean the baby.
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 07 January 2011 - 18:07
"The force’s Criminal Investigation Department launched a manhunt to find the infant’s parents." From 7 Days - what a pathetic statement.
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 07 January 2011 - 18:03
Usually on here the phrase that is always used is "there go I but for the grace of God..." well it seems to be in short supply today. Has no one ever been 18? Does no one remember the expectations that may be put on 18 year olds by their parents? Has no one ever thought they were pregnant when they didn't want to be? Has no one ever had an unplanned pregnancy? I am NOT saying these are reasons for dumping a baby by the way....and it read to me that she actually out the baby in a residential place so wanted the baby to be found . Anyone who thinks it must be easy to dump a baby must be mad and from the same camp as the people who think it is easy to have an abortion...come on girls! How lucky are we that we have never been in such an awful situation - i don't think you would know what you would do!! Also I think there is possibly a cultural aspect to all of this according to where the baby was dumped. You are hardly going to get a white British Jumeirah school girl going into that part of town to do that - would hardly blend in, would she?
Anonymous (not verified)
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 07 January 2011 - 18:02
I am sure she wouldn't have 'dumped' the baby if she was mentally ok, she was obviously really scared and confused. I can't believe how harsh some people are being on here. Maybe here parents are really strict too and something tipped her over the edge. She needs help not judgement. I hope she is not prosecuted and is reunited with the baby, how terribly sad.
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 07 January 2011 - 17:59
First off do we even know the parents were around? I could be wrong but I thought an 18 year old is able to work here as an adult under employer sponsorship. I do think that anyone who does something like this would have to be under immense mental strain. Having given birth on her own, that could also surely have seriously affected her mental capacity? Add to an unmedicated unassisted birth the fear of punishment and what to do next - that sounds like a nightmare. I am not excusing her actions, nor condemning her as I don't think I have any right whatsoever to do so, basing my judgement solely on a couple of paragraphs in a local tabloid. I hope that both she and the baby get the medical care they require, and that the police afford her some mental support too.
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 07 January 2011 - 17:56
Yes dumping of babies goes on in other countries for what ever crazy reason but here - what is the alternative? Prison.
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 07 January 2011 - 17:54
Articles like this sicken me about this place - sad, sad stories like the baby ( or foetus? ) found in the airport in AD - all they are interested in is tracking down and punishing. But Spongie, what else are they (I assume you mean government/police) supposed to do? It is illegal to a) have premarital *** here and b) having a baby out of wedlock. On top of that...what justice does the abandoned baby have? How about the babies that end up living, but start off life without the care of a mother/father and end up in foster care for the rest of its life. Is it fair to them? She committed a crime here. And one that not only affects her, but another life. Isn't that egregious enough to warrant being tracked down and punished? We aren't talking about running out on a 25 AED lunch or some other stupid teenage thing. It is because of the harsh laws and strict punishments that we can enjoy a relatively crime-free life here. Though we may feel that the laws here are strict and harsh (in some cases they are, and I do see some as unfair), we benefit more from it than not. The point I am making is that she possibly did this [b'>because OF the laws her[/b'>e! Yes she should have told her parents but that is another chat show! My point is that if she had kept that child she may have ended up in a police cell because of the medieval attitudes they have her to women.
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 07 January 2011 - 17:51
It's not that I don't feel for this girl on a human level (probably more so than most EWers could imagine). However sad I feel for her, and thousands of other young women in similar situations, it doesn't take away from the fact that what she did was wrong. And her actions could have resulted in the death of herself and the child. Every day we hear about people dumping puppies and kittens here OR even abandoning their pets if they have to leave Dubai. And we gravitate towards the victims...not the perpetrator. The kittens/puppies and abandoned animals are victims because they can't help themselves or the situation that they were put in...just like the baby abandoned by this girl. If it's inhumane for us to do that to animals, shouldn't it be even worse when it happens to a human?
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 07 January 2011 - 17:32
CRikey milk of human kindness!! No that's sadly missing here. We have all been 18 and not everyone at that age is a sensible creature. It is extremely sad she couldn't talk to her parents but not every parent/child relationship is perfect. Let us hope that for all concerned that mother and baby come out of this situation well. It is against the law here for pre-marital *** but the ethics and morals should be debated once mum and baby are healthy.
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 07 January 2011 - 17:25
Unfortunate for her but COULD have been deadly for the baby....... no matter what the circumstances she found herself, to put a defensible baby in a potentially deadly situation is inexcusable....... and herself... she could have died giving birth too. Would that have been her own fault too? I guess that could be considered decent punishment for having s3x outside of wedlock... Why don't we just stone her? Oh yeah, I have this funny notion of showing some humanity. Yes - it would have been her own responsibility - she put herself in this situation, by not getting some form of help before it got to this stage...... i can understand and relate to the fact that she was scared but people need to take responsibility for their lives - the good and the bad..... Yes there is humanity, and i do feel for the poor girl but how she handled the situation was wrong...... and could have resulted in the death of the child..... which is inexcusable.....
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 07 January 2011 - 17:19
Unfortunate for her but COULD have been deadly for the baby....... no matter what the circumstances she found herself, to put a defensible baby in a potentially deadly situation is inexcusable....... and herself... she could have died giving birth too. Would that have been her own fault too? I guess that could be considered decent punishment for having s3x outside of wedlock... Why don't we just stone her? Oh yeah, I have this funny notion of showing some humanity.
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 07 January 2011 - 16:51
But no one FORCED this girl to do what she did. She chose to have ***, she chose to hide her pregnancy and she chose to dump the baby. Just because she may have been scared of the consequences of being caught either by her parents or the authorities, doesn't lessen the severity of the crime. In fact, ignorance of the consequences or legality of such an act isn't an excuse either (ie saying "I didn't know it was illegal to have premarital ***" doesn't absolve you of the crime). And there are plenty of women here and around the world who are truly forced against their will to abandon their children. Now if facts come out later that she was raped or she is mentally handicapped or whatever other circumstance may alter the situation...then of course I wouldn't be as harsh in my view. I agree wholeheartedly with SueB on this one. It is sad that the girl didn't feel she could trust her parents and ask for help -- but that is unfortunately for her, not an excuse. Unfortunate for her but COULD have been deadly for the baby....... no matter what the circumstances she found herself, to put a defensible baby in a potentially deadly situation is inexcusable.......
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 07 January 2011 - 16:40
But no one FORCED this girl to do what she did. She chose to have ***, she chose to hide her pregnancy and she chose to dump the baby. Just because she may have been scared of the consequences of being caught either by her parents or the authorities, doesn't lessen the severity of the crime. In fact, ignorance of the consequences or legality of such an act isn't an excuse either (ie saying "I didn't know it was illegal to have premarital ***" doesn't absolve you of the crime). And there are plenty of women here and around the world who are truly forced against their will to abandon their children. Now if facts come out later that she was raped or she is mentally handicapped or whatever other circumstance may alter the situation...then of course I wouldn't be as harsh in my view. I agree wholeheartedly with SueB on this one. It is sad that the girl didn't feel she could trust her parents and ask for help -- but that is unfortunately for her, not an excuse.
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 07 January 2011 - 16:32
why do these girls/woman dump their babies in the rest of the world then if there is support out there for them?it Yes, here it is a criminal offence to have a child out of wedlock but my question, did she go into labour and it took her unawares so she was terrified? I would say that could be a strong possibility. iT is unfortunate that she did this and she will regret it for a very long time. I do hope they (parents, family, friends) come to her aid, but, at the end of the day she will be prosecuted. I do hope the baby will go with her parents though....very sad.
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 07 January 2011 - 16:31
Its a very sad story, and sadly it happens all the time all over the world, even when it isn't against the law to have premarital *** or to have a baby out of wedlock. I find it really sad that this girl didn't speak to her parents or go home, as I imagine her fear of talking to her family is what kept her hiding her pregnancy rather than her fear of the laws here, as she could have easily jumped on a plane. I remember watching an episode on oprah once where a teenage girl gave birth in her bedroom and then stuffed the baby in a duffle bag with rocks and threw it in the river with her partner. Years later when it was discovered, you could see that her mum was racking her brain as to why her daughter wouldn't approach her and talk to her etc... Feel really sorry for the girl and the baby, but have to say it isn't just because of the strict laws here, it happens everywhere.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 07 January 2011 - 16:14
well, personally, I think anyone forced to give birth alone and completely unassisted - let alone medically assisted - simply because of the fear of repercussions is a victim too. Most of us have given birth before and most of us have been slightly apprehensive about the prospect even though we had full antenatal help and were "in good hands". Can you even begin to imagine what this girl must have been going through, facing the prospect of the unknown with no support on hand, having to potentially put herself in mortal danger simply because the consequence seemed worse? Some of you have had difficult births - imagine if she had... we could have read a very different story: "Mother and baby died during unassisted childbirth" What a sad, sad state of affairs.
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 07 January 2011 - 16:07
an 18 year old knows the difference between right and wrong, unless she has been totally sheltered and had no idea of the difference. Or she is mentally deficient so unable to understand what she did was wrong. I was 18 once as all of us were. I would never have abandoned my baby in a bin or street. Most countries would prosecute if the baby was found in a bin, absolutely. Putting the baby in the street where someone would find it...what if no one had found it? Unfortunately, it happens all over the world. It is also called taking responsibility for your actions. If this girl on the cusp of womanhood were 13 or 14 I might have to say different things, but, 18, as I said.
 
 

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