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IzzyOnTheSeat82823

5334

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 15 October 2014 - 15:01

So weird I never got called a troll before! I don't remember why I joined the forum but I try to offer advice when I can, I've lived here a long time so I hope sometimes I can help out, especially basic stuff like where to find things, what to expect in a doctors office, etc. I try my best not to offend anybody and thus get censored or banned, that's all! who called you a troll?

674

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 15 October 2014 - 14:59

So weird I never got called a troll before! I don't remember why I joined the forum but I try to offer advice when I can, I've lived here a long time so I hope sometimes I can help out, especially basic stuff like where to find things, what to expect in a doctors office, etc. I try my best not to offend anybody and thus get censored or banned, that's all!

674

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 15 October 2014 - 14:53

Haven't had time yet to read all but past three posts, you guys are spot on. Absolutely spot on. Spouses father held gcc citizenship, thus spouse is entitled to it. Said father emigrated to Canada in the 60s but has returned to home country. Spouse did not pursue that country's option until he was an adult. Said country does not recognize dual citizenship and is widely known to confiscate other passports if found. That being said, Canada does recongize dual citizenship so the issue is totally different within Canada and applies only when in the gcc country. This is not my law, doesn't make me a fraud to know about it. I had a similar issue with my own birth family and German citizenship although I've never heard of them taking legal action against someone for holding two passports- they just abide by the laws within the country.

Doubting Thomas

2298

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 15 October 2014 - 14:36

Cherpie, I hope you don't mind answering the following questions: What's your nationality? What are your childrens nationality? Why you are not in custody of your own passport? (it is a UAE law that NO ONE is allowed to hold the passport of another in this country - even if they are your maid - and you can go to the police and open a case against them if they do!!!) Has there been any documented abuse in your relationship? Has there been any documented cheating? Thanks I'm sorry but as a new poster I think Cherpie should be wary of answering your questions...why do you need to know all this ? EW is simply a forum for women to seek the support and advice of others without having to divulge any personal information...

1097

Posts

EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 15 October 2014 - 14:15

Cherpie has been posting here a while now and I am sure she is trying to keep the information she is divulging to a minimum, maybe even throwing in a few red herrings in case someone can recognise her, maybe that is why some things are not adding up. Either way, nn some GCC countries you are 'offered' the passport, therefore depending on influence etc., it would not be unheard of to get a passport if someone was not born there and not entitled to citizenship. A person can be born anywhere, but may still be eligible for citizenship. Neither of my kids were born in my country or my husbands country and they have citizenship of both countries. Lots of people hold dual nationalities even though their citizenship rules don't allow it. <em>edited by mum2girls on 15/10/2014</em>

83

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 15 October 2014 - 14:15

They didn't say that, exactly, they said it would be harder if I were Muslim do maybe I misunderstood. The kids do have passports same as me, where they were born. I never said they don't have passports so what you buy or don't buy isn't really my fault. [u'>[b'>Their fathers nationality at the time of their birth was not the same that it is now.[/b'>[/u'> I was told that his fathers country of birth does not recognize dual citizenship so I'm still not sure what he's doing on that end. edited by Cherpie on 15/10/2014 we are just guessing the blank parts OP left out, that's why it doesn't make sense.. I think she is genuine and this whole topic screams help. OP, as one of the PPs said, this is an open forum, please don't share too much info that will make you obvious and turns into something against you. Approach the authorities and start from there. But do something, stop making excuses, you are clearly unhappy as anyone would be.. Sometimes change is scary yes, but I am sure there is light at the end of the tunnel... Good luck..

904

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 15 October 2014 - 14:00

Ok I'll try to clarify the points... I did go to the courts while he was out of the country, and definitely my rights are not the same. From what they told me though, a Muslim woman can't even initiate divorce. Then the issue of the divorce and custody being valid anywhere else. [b'>No, he is Canadian. Not the kids. They need my permission and presence to apply for citizenship, which I will not consent to, he knows that. The only way he could do it is to get sole legal custody of the kids and he can't do that simply, Ive definitely not done anything to warrant the separation of my rights from my kids. He got them gcc citizenship and passports, definitely without my knowledge. I really do not think he is allowed both, but he was born in Canada and left his fathers papers for some time before I ever met him.... This story I can't really explain as it isn't mine.[/b'> I'd have an excellent chance for divorce and custody in my own country, but he has physically detained all of our passports. Here, it's not the same, they do go for the Muslim fathers rights from what I was advised. They weren't unfriendly at all but I think trying to give me a realistic viewpoint. They also said that the judge does not have to grant me a divorce, and they also said tread carefully because me teaching the kids any Christianity is grounds for him getting them permanently. I have not done that, I was talking about winter season things. edited by Cherpie on 15/10/2014 Further, I would be really screwed up if I got a divorce and he cancelled my visa and not my kids. He can easily have me removed from this country without my children, definitely. edited by Cherpie on 15/10/2014 He was born in Canada & he has the passport since birth, she mentioned that his GCC country doesnt allow dual citizenship, so it means he is canadian not from GCC , he cant get his children GCC passports if he doesnt hold one, so her story doesnt add up <em>edited by wickedangel_78 on 15/10/2014</em>

90

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 15 October 2014 - 14:00

Don't divulge too many details about your personal life on a public forum, if you need advise from someone who has had a similar experience ask for their email ID and take it offline or ask for support groups/organizations/lawyers details. People may or may not believe you its not your problem to plead your case by divulging details you'd rather keep private. Dubai is quite inter-linked and EW has a massive non-member readership. Its your life, your problem, your prerogative how much to share, your business. Redrec: Let Cherpie be the one to decide if she wants to answer the questions. If someone is going to share a problem publicly then they should be prepared that people will ask questions to vague statments in order avoid misleading replies that may harm the person in the long run. From what I can see, Cherpie has been pumped full of wrong information at the present judging from her statments about the court, divorce etc.. and should be informed of her rights if she has them.

83

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 15 October 2014 - 13:56

They didn't say that, exactly, they said it would be harder if I were Muslim do maybe I misunderstood. The kids do have passports same as me, where they were born. I never said they don't have passports so what you buy or don't buy isn't really my fault. Their fathers nationality at the time of their birth was not the same that it is now. I was told that his fathers country of birth does not recognize dual citizenship so I'm still not sure what he's doing on that end. edited by Cherpie on 15/10/2014 How did he get them the GCC passports? He is canadian & was born in Canada so no dual citizenship for him. Did he give his canadian passport to get his GCC passport back? How did he get them the GCC passports when they are born with different nationalith, their dad wasnt from GCC when they were born. Seriously?? You were also talking about canadian passports?? Do you think we are naive?. After 5 yrs of admining forums, I know it when a thread screams troll! Shame I dont have access to some info on your account here loooool edited by wickedangel_78 on 15/10/2014 She said the children have passports of her country of origin, not canadian. the situation is far too complicated as the father had a gcc passport when children were born, now he holds a canadian passport. I would give her benefit of doubt before claiming she is a troll, you can't make up a situation this complicated...

588

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EW GURU

Latest post on 15 October 2014 - 13:53

Don't divulge too many details about your personal life on a public forum, if you need advise from someone who has had a similar experience ask for their email ID and take it offline or ask for support groups/organizations/lawyers details. People may or may not believe you its not your problem to plead your case by divulging details you'd rather keep private. Dubai is quite inter-linked and EW has a massive non-member readership. Its your life, your problem, your prerogative how much to share, your business.

90

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 15 October 2014 - 13:50

Cherpie, I hope you don't mind answering the following questions: What's your nationality? What are your childrens nationality? Why you are not in custody of your own passport? (it is a UAE law that NO ONE is allowed to hold the passport of another in this country - even if they are your maid - and you can go to the police and open a case against them if they do!!!) Has there been any documented abuse in your relationship? Has there been any documented cheating? Thanks

GirlAnachronism35688

1039

Posts

EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 15 October 2014 - 13:47

OP where did you get married? You need to speak to a lawyer tbh, it sounds really complicated in terms of various nationalities etc. there is a lawyer here, carol someone I think, who was recommended on here before and used to offer a free consultation. Maybe you could get some clarity on your situation and your options.

5452

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 15 October 2014 - 13:46

They didn't say that, exactly, they said it would be harder if I were Muslim do maybe I misunderstood. The kids do have passports same as me, where they were born. I never said they don't have passports so what you buy or don't buy isn't really my fault. Their fathers nationality at the time of their birth was not the same that it is now. I was told that his fathers country of birth does not recognize dual citizenship so I'm still not sure what he's doing on that end. edited by Cherpie on 15/10/2014 How did he get them the GCC passports? He is canadian & was born in Canada so no dual citizenship for him. Did he give his canadian passport to get his GCC passport back? How did he get them the GCC passports when they are born with different nationalith, their dad wasnt from GCC when they were born. Seriously?? You raise valid points. Cherpie has always been a bit cryptic....

904

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 15 October 2014 - 13:44

They didn't say that, exactly, they said it would be harder if I were Muslim do maybe I misunderstood. The kids do have passports same as me, where they were born. I never said they don't have passports so what you buy or don't buy isn't really my fault. Their fathers nationality at the time of their birth was not the same that it is now. I was told that his fathers country of birth does not recognize dual citizenship so I'm still not sure what he's doing on that end. edited by Cherpie on 15/10/2014 How did he get them the GCC passports? He is canadian & was born in Canada so no dual citizenship for him. Did he give his canadian passport to get his GCC passport back? How did he get them the GCC passports when they are born with different nationalith, their dad wasnt from GCC when they were born. Seriously?? You were also talking about canadian passports?? Do you think we are naive?. <em>edited by wickedangel_78 on 15/10/2014</em>

904

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 15 October 2014 - 13:26

I'm out of this thread, go to your embassy & seek your civil rights. Ask them to hire a lawyer & take it from there, as a foreigner (you and your children), you should go by your country's civil rights for women & children, both you & your husband are NOT locals, he is Canadian & you are from what I understand a Westerner? Going to the court here will get you nowhere. I think you should have a civil marriage certificate, in the canada for example if 2 canadian Muslims want to devorce they have to go through the civil court, he can devorce her as per Islam without her agreeing on the devorce, but as the children are Canadian custody & mo ey related issues follow the civil rights in canada. This is why I am not buyjng your story

674

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EW GURU

Latest post on 15 October 2014 - 13:26

Further,if he were to take the kids to his family home country, they would be recognized as only citizens of there, not their original passports/birthplace. I couldn't even go fetch them or get any assistance from my embassy. As the mother they do inherit my citizenship as well as being born there. So see why I don't really want to tick the man off too much

904

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 15 October 2014 - 13:19

Yep, that's what he told me when I had the confrontation about the other passports. Im not sure if those even had my name on them as the mother or not. That's when I knew I don't stand a chance. Only in my mind. If I ever find a passport in my name I will burn it. edited by Cherpie on 15/10/2014 Are those passports canadian? I missed that part. How did he get those passports? You cant purchase those unless they are fake, he needs to go there with the children, stay there for x amount of yrs, get a residency then apply for citizenship, then he will be scheduled an interview & based on that he can only get a Canadian passport. Or is it another nationality? I'm now curious to know the whole story OP is canadian - children get automatically as decendants It seems that the husband is canadian not OP, & he was born in Canada, yet the children needs her "approval" to get the passports although they are born with a Canadian dad

674

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 15 October 2014 - 13:18

They didn't say that, exactly, they said it would be harder if I were Muslim do maybe I misunderstood. The kids do have passports same as me, where they were born. I never said they don't have passports so what you buy or don't buy isn't really my fault. Their fathers nationality at the time of their birth was not the same that it is now. I was told that his fathers country of birth does not recognize dual citizenship so I'm still not sure what he's doing on that end. <em>edited by Cherpie on 15/10/2014</em>

674

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EW GURU

Latest post on 15 October 2014 - 13:17

The children do NOT hold Canadian passports whether they have the right to them or not! Both parents have to apply and consent. Somebody Canadian can confirm or deny but from what research I've done, this is the case and neither me nor my kids have nothing to do with Canada, I wasn't married there. <em>edited by Cherpie on 15/10/2014</em>

904

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 15 October 2014 - 13:12

Ok I'll try to clarify the points... I did go to the courts while he was out of the country, and definitely my rights are not the same. From what they told me though, a Muslim woman can't even initiate divorce. Then the issue of the divorce and custody being valid anywhere else. No, he is Canadian. Not the kids. They need my permission and presence to apply for citizenship, which I will not consent to, he knows that. The only way he could do it is to get sole legal custody of the kids and he can't do that simply, Ive definitely not done anything to warrant the separation of my rights from my kids. He got them gcc citizenship and passports, definitely without my knowledge. I really do not think he is allowed both, but he was born in Canada and left his fathers papers for some time before I ever met him.... This story I can't really explain as it isn't mine. I'd have an excellent chance for divorce and custody in my own country, but he has physically detained all of our passports. Here, it's not the same, they do go for the Muslim fathers rights from what I was advised. They weren't unfriendly at all but I think trying to give me a realistic viewpoint. They also said that the judge does not have to grant me a divorce, and they also said tread carefully because me teaching the kids any Christianity is grounds for him getting them permanently. I have not done that, I was talking about winter season things. edited by Cherpie on 15/10/2014 Further, I would be really screwed up if I got a divorce and he cancelled my visa and not my kids. He can easily have me removed from this country without my children, definitely. edited by Cherpie on 15/10/2014 I'm not buying your story Where were the children born? They take their dad's nationality by default, he does not need your approval. how can they stay in a foregin country (HERE!) Without passports? The court will not tell you a muslim woman doesnt have the right to devorce herself, it is called khol'a & very common. Children dont go by default to the father only because he is a Muslim, you have civil rights given by the embassies of both parties. You are not locals! You are talking none sense here <em>edited by wickedangel_78 on 15/10/2014</em>

IzzyOnTheSeat82823

5334

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 15 October 2014 - 13:07

Yep, that's what he told me when I had the confrontation about the other passports. Im not sure if those even had my name on them as the mother or not. That's when I knew I don't stand a chance. Only in my mind. If I ever find a passport in my name I will burn it. edited by Cherpie on 15/10/2014 Are those passports canadian? I missed that part. How did he get those passports? You cant purchase those unless they are fake, he needs to go there with the children, stay there for x amount of yrs, get a residency then apply for citizenship, then he will be scheduled an interview & based on that he can only get a Canadian passport. Or is it another nationality? I'm now curious to know the whole story OP is canadian - children get automatically as decendants

904

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 15 October 2014 - 13:06

Yep, that's what he told me when I had the confrontation about the other passports. Im not sure if those even had my name on them as the mother or not. That's when I knew I don't stand a chance. Only in my mind. If I ever find a passport in my name I will burn it. edited by Cherpie on 15/10/2014 Are those passports canadian? I missed that part. How did he get those passports? You cant purchase those unless they are fake, he needs to go there with the children, stay there for x amount of yrs, get a residency then apply for citizenship, then he will be scheduled an interview & based on that he can only get a Canadian passport. Or is it another nationality? I'm now curious to know the whole story

90

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 15 October 2014 - 13:06

Ok I'll try to clarify the points... I did go to the courts while he was out of the country, and definitely my rights are not the same. From what they told me though, a Muslim woman can't even initiate divorce. . I don't know who advised you about this or how long ago it was, but that is incorrect. A woman CAN divorce a man! She will though, have to give up her divorce rights (to money etc..). However, if she can prove she is divorcing him due to something Haram that he has done, then she gets ALL her rights! If you research the laws of this country regarding divorce it will state very clearly the court rules and regulations regarding a woman requesting for divorce. Again, I'm not sure about the details for a non muslim wife so you'd have to clarify that with the courts.

674

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 15 October 2014 - 12:59

Ok I'll try to clarify the points... I did go to the courts while he was out of the country, and definitely my rights are not the same. From what they told me though, a Muslim woman can't even initiate divorce. Then the issue of the divorce and custody being valid anywhere else. No, he is Canadian. Not the kids. They need my permission and presence to apply for citizenship, which I will not consent to, he knows that. The only way he could do it is to get sole legal custody of the kids and he can't do that simply, Ive definitely not done anything to warrant the separation of my rights from my kids. He got them gcc citizenship and passports, definitely without my knowledge. I really do not think he is allowed both, but he was born in Canada and left his fathers papers for some time before I ever met him.... This story I can't really explain as it isn't mine. I'd have an excellent chance for divorce and custody in my own country, but he has physically detained all of our passports. Here, it's not the same, they do go for the Muslim fathers rights from what I was advised. They weren't unfriendly at all but I think trying to give me a realistic viewpoint. They also said that the judge does not have to grant me a divorce, and they also said tread carefully because me teaching the kids any Christianity is grounds for him getting them permanently. I have not done that, I was talking about winter season things. edited by Cherpie on 15/10/2014 Further, I would be really screwed up if I got a divorce and he cancelled my visa and not my kids. He can easily have me removed from this country without my children, definitely. <em>edited by Cherpie on 15/10/2014</em>

90

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 15 October 2014 - 12:53

Thanks Londiamond! I'm still going through the toughest part but 2.5 years is truely enough. Unfortunately I believe AnonDubai may have a point. You'll need to check and see if a non muslim woman can retain custoday of children born to a muslim man. Unless... you can prove that he is doing haram things like I mentioned below (aka: drinking, relations outside marriage, beating, threatening, not providing for his family etc..)

904

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 15 October 2014 - 12:49

I think Cherpie's situation is different though because she is not Muslim. I don't think a non-Muslim mother can retain custody of her children. Also, from what I understood, Cherpie, your DH is not local but from another GCC country. Didn't you say that he got a Canadian passport for himself and your children? What was the purpose of that? This is what I'm talking about , we dont have a clear picture, are those passports new? I think in some gulf countries you cant hold two passports? If the children dont have GCC passports things are different, she should look into her rights at the Canadian embassy? Providing vague info is not helping

164

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 15 October 2014 - 12:47

I think Cherpie's situation is different though because she is not Muslim. I don't think a non-Muslim mother can retain custody of her children. Also, from what I understood, Cherpie, your DH is not local but from another GCC country. Didn't you say that he got a Canadian passport for himself and your children? What was the purpose of that? a christian woman does not have to convert to islam to marry a muslim man. Def - consult dubai courts for a counselling session. they are friendly and would be able to advice

164

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 15 October 2014 - 12:45

Cherpie, I feel very sorry for what just happened to you, and your ongoing situation. Leaving aside the religion component, your DH doesn't seem to respect you, his loyal and faithful wife and mother of his kids. My Muslim Arab DH would be appalled by your DH (and, it appears, his family??)'s blatant, self-promoting, bullying campaign against you. I hope your DH has strong faith in the Day of Judgement, because he surely won't be able to hide from the consequences of his awful bullying. Yes, well said, Apricot. This disrespect of his wife and the mother of his children is far from being Islamic. "Heaven is at the foot of mother". He is a bully. All this aside, sadly, many mixed marriages are not successful once back in the "home country" and living in the extended family environment where there is a lot of support for established family traditions/behaviours. If I were you I would not push the Christmas celebrations or any other christian holiday. This is not part of Islam and, as you well know, the children of any Muslim marriage belong to their father and to Islam. He, I am sure, would not be happy that his children were celebrating a Christian holiday - certainly, I know my husband would not be. I know that many OPs here will not agree with me, but I strongly suggest that you are "quiet" and "do not rock the family boat". Life will be impossible for you if you are pushing to raise your children as Christians. You will not win this battle nor the war. Divorce?? Unless it is instigated by him, your chances are very, very slim. I wouldn't even tell you what my husband has told me about my chances of ever getting a divorce - every OP on this forum would "thumb down" me forever after! Basically, it is not an option. You have two options: 1. Run (alone) back to your family; 2. make the best of your situation, focus on your lovely children and make your own life within the parameters of the marriage. mrs b ..this is 2014 modern world , we are living in dubai not pakistan ! children belong to their mothers too as much as their fathers ! cherpie is simply trying to enjoy christmas with her kids - even as muslims we believe in jesus . i would def celebrate christmas with my children when i have them as i respect my husband ( a christian converted to muslim ) and his beliefs. Putting up a christmas tree is not a religious tradition, its merely a western tradition. by the way , i instigated my divorce in dubai courts and won the case against my ex husband, a fellow born muslim like me below is the quote highlighting the mother status in islam .. A man came to the Prophet and said, ‘O Messenger of God! Who among the people is the most worthy of my good companionship? The Prophet (PBUH) said: Your mother. The man said, ‘Then who?’ The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man further asked, ‘Then who?’ The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man asked again, ‘Then who?’ The Prophet said: Then your father. (Bukhari, Muslim)

5452

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 15 October 2014 - 12:39

I think Cherpie's situation is different though because she is not Muslim. I don't think a non-Muslim mother can retain custody of her children. Also, from what I understood, Cherpie, your DH is not local but from another GCC country. Didn't you say that he got a Canadian passport for himself and your children? What was the purpose of that?

IzzyOnTheSeat82823

5334

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 15 October 2014 - 12:32

Mrs B - know of plenlty of local famalies where the children are with their mother, as per Islam. It is nothing to do with the family book - the wife is also in the family book - by your logic you are saying that teh wife "belongs" to the husband too? This. Children remain under the custody of their mums until the age of 7 or 8, they are very strict here, the husband have to provide a house & income to the mother, & women have the right to devorce themselves in court, my friend did it, she went to the court & devorced herself & her children are living with her. Actually it is 13 for girls and then the courts will ask the children where they want to live - i know local guys who have pretty much lost their children to their ex-wife. so it is not at all - ALL WOMAN LOSE THEIR CHILDREN as per tribal customs.

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