Saying Goodbye to Christmas....

. As much as I respect people and their faith, regardless of whether I agree with it or not, and I will listen if someone wants to tell me about it (as I am happy to talk about my faith if someone asks) I will not participate in something that my faith forbids. Whether it's a religious holiday or anything else. I can show respect in many other ways. I'm glad then that we live in a tolerant country, where Local people say Merry Christmas to you at the petrol station on Christmas Day :) and that we have a government who respects that there are different religions and helps us to celebrate them. It would be much harder for a lot of us to live somewhere like KSA where everything would have to go on behind closed doors. Cherpie - your DH seems to have changed materially since last year then? Has something happened or do you think he has some sort of depression?

But isn't this all part of the great thing about living here? Being able to say "I don't practise your religion. I don't even fully understand it, or what you are celebrating. But I'm going to learn a little bit about it, let our children tell us what they have learned at school about it, eat a little bit of the food eaten at this time, get involved in what's going on around town and be generally open, understanding and respectful towards what you believe". A visitor we had last week was most impressed when he learned that the land for St Mary's church and the Hindu temple in Bur Dubai had been donated by the Government. As much as I respect people and their faith, regardless of whether I agree with it or not, and I will listen if someone wants to tell me about it (as I am happy to talk about my faith if someone asks) I will not participate in something that my faith forbids. Whether it's a religious holiday or anything else. I can show respect in many other ways.

But isn't this all part of the great thing about living here? Being able to say "I don't practise your religion. I don't even fully understand it, or what you are celebrating. But I'm going to learn a little bit about it, let our children tell us what they have learned at school about it, eat a little bit of the food eaten at this time, get involved in what's going on around town and be generally open, understanding and respectful towards what you believe". A visitor we had last week was most impressed when he learned that the land for St Mary's church and the Hindu temple in Bur Dubai had been donated by the Government.

"After 5 yrs of admining forums, I know it when a thread screams troll! Shame I dont have access to some info on your account here loooool edited by wickedangel_78 on 15/10/2014" Wickedangel, sorry but that post of yours makes you sound like a loon.

Thanks Marroush for this straight forward answer. I had never realised that Muslims are in fact unable to join in with celebrations of any other religious faith. This certainly makes mixed marriages very difficult, when a wife has not converted to Islam. You know many Muslims will join in and it's their choice even though I disagree. We are all responsible for ourselves. I believe that if a Muslim man wants to marry a non Muslim woman, he has to be up front about that. And make Islamic celebrations a big deal so that his wife can also enjoy it even though she might not have converted. I wouldn't know if a man would actually stop his wife from going out and celebrate with her friends and family.

Thanks Marroush for this straight forward answer. I had never realised that Muslims are in fact unable to join in with celebrations of any other religious faith. This certainly makes mixed marriages very difficult, when a wife has not converted to Islam.

I have 2 serious questions for Marroush: Why is it 'not allowed' for a Muslim to celebrate Christmas? Why is it okay for a Non-Muslim to celebrate Eid? Happy to answer PinkLily:) Muslims have 2 celebrations: Eid al Fitr after Ramadan, and Eid al Adha after Hajj (was nearly 2 weeks ago) and that's it. We do not believe in celebrating birthdays of prophets (though many countries have a day off on the birthday of the Prophet Mohammed (pbuh), and we are not supposed to do it. If we want to show love for our Prophets (we believe in all prophets) we should follow their teachings. Non Muslims can join in Eid celebrations, it is not something that is impermissible for them. Hope that clarifies it a bit, would like to keep the explanation short and sweet:) Closed minded thinking IMHO. Aren't religions meant to bring people together, mercy and compassion and all of that? I don't have to participate in anyone's religious holidays in order to show respect or to be friendly with them. It's not a matter of being closed minded it's a matter of following my faith.And I am not willing to compromise on that in order for someone to find me tolerant or open minded. I work with many non Muslims who I respect for who they are, regardless of their religion. None of my family members are of the same faith but it doesn't mean I love them or respect them any less. There are many ways to show these feelings to other people. You know, the year has 365 days. I can share dinner and good times for 363 days of the year. But because I won't share 2 days in the year with you I'm closed minded? I would call that way if thinking closed minded. <em>edited by Marroosh on 15/10/2014</em>

I have 2 serious questions for Marroush: Why is it 'not allowed' for a Muslim to celebrate Christmas? Why is it okay for a Non-Muslim to celebrate Eid? Happy to answer PinkLily:) Muslims have 2 celebrations: Eid al Fitr after Ramadan, and Eid al Adha after Hajj (was nearly 2 weeks ago) and that's it. We do not believe in celebrating birthdays of prophets (though many countries have a day off on the birthday of the Prophet Mohammed (pbuh), and we are not supposed to do it. If we want to show love for our Prophets (we believe in all prophets) we should follow their teachings. Non Muslims can join in Eid celebrations, it is not something that is impermissible for them. Hope that clarifies it a bit, would like to keep the explanation short and sweet:) Closed minded thinking IMHO. Aren't religions meant to bring people together, mercy and compassion and all of that?

I have 2 serious questions for Marroush: Why is it 'not allowed' for a Muslim to celebrate Christmas? Why is it okay for a Non-Muslim to celebrate Eid? Happy to answer PinkLily:) Muslims have 2 celebrations: Eid al Fitr after Ramadan, and Eid al Adha after Hajj (was nearly 2 weeks ago) and that's it. We do not believe in celebrating birthdays of prophets (though many countries have a day off on the birthday of the Prophet Mohammed (pbuh), and we are not supposed to do it. If we want to show love for our Prophets (we believe in all prophets) we should follow their teachings. Non Muslims can join in Eid celebrations, it is not something that is impermissible for them. Hope that clarifies it a bit, would like to keep the explanation short and sweet:)

I have 2 serious questions for Marroush: Why is it 'not allowed' for a Muslim to celebrate Christmas? Why is it okay for a Non-Muslim to celebrate Eid?

Wow amazing how you know what EW here do with their day Molly.

Oh my, sometimes EW is better than Eastenders. Cherpie, I really hope things work out for you as life is too short to be miserable. Ignore some of the negative comments on here, they're just written by bored housewives who have nothing better to do in their lives but sit behind a computer and judge people they do not know. It's a ****** thing you are going through at the moment but you WILL find happiness again - oh and 'MERRY CHRISTMAS' (wonder how long it will take before my post is also 'accidently' deleted). xx

If her husbands character is as portrayed here he may not be being completely honest with Cherpie with details concerning passports, etc. I really feel if someone was starting a windup it would be quite different here with more wayward details and sensation. ( cucumber picking anyone?!) Lets give the OP the benefit of the doubt. Really. It's not worth it to be possibly kicking dirt in another woman's face while she is down on the ground.

I am sorry but I don't believe this at all. First of all, a GCC national in general can't marry without getting permission, especially KSA. And since OP claims not to be able to enter the country without him, KSA is the only country with that rule. KSA requires a national to take permission or the marriage is not accepted and he won't be able to bring his kids into the country. And to add, GCC nationals rarely take on other citizenship, their own are much more lucrative. Second, OP, you married a Muslim. He is going to prioritize Islamic holidays over your xmas celebration. Your kids are Muslim, of course he won't allow you to do xmas stuff with them. It's something that's not accepted from Islamic perspective. Regardless of what other Muslims choose to do, it is not allowed, we have 2 Eid and that's it. Yes we believe in Issa (AS), or Jesus as he is called in non Arab countries, but that doesn't mean we participate it celebrating xmas. But that aside. Yes a man can be not so religious at some point in his life, but having kids often changes the way they see things. There are 2 sides to every story. I know many will disagree. If he is really abusive, does haram, you need to get a divorce. If you are really in an abusive marriage you need to get out as this is what you are teaching your kids. In that case you have full rights over the kids, unless the court deems you not capable. In the end it's about what is best for the children, not which parent has more right. And the clarify the Islam rules on divorce for a woman, she has every right to divorce. If she has not valid reason, (eg the husband does fulfill her rights over him but she just doesn't like him), she can get her divorce but will be asked to return at least a part of the dowry. If she files for divorce with good reason, the court can divorce her without her having to return her dowry. A woman does NOT automatically loose her kids. I do understand what mrsb says, the kids are considered to belong to the father as he is the guardian, the person whose name they carry. That doesn't mean the mother has no rights. edited by Marroosh on 15/10/2014 <em>edited by Marroosh on 15/10/2014</em>

Cherpie all the is well, as much as we give advices, the decision is yours, be smart! you are in my prayers

Hi Cherpie, I haven't been on the forum much lately so am not in the loop with your situation. Just reading this though, I wanted to send you love and hugs. Stay strong and safe and I hope that one day you manage to get yourself (and your kids) through this and out of this! If you really can't find a way to get out of it, and you are resigned to the fact that you need to stay in the situation for now, then try to find some nice things to do that will make you happy, sports, activities, writing, yoga, I don't know, just something to distract you and keep your soul alive xoxooxox {{{HUGS}}}

lots of hugs Cherpie , stay strong.

Wanted to come on and say what about Ski Dubai on Xmas morning, snow and hot chocolate, Santa would be there too. But this thread has now taken a different tangent! Good luck Cherpie, all the best.

After all this I've almost forgotten about the Christmas decorations!! What Christmas decorations?? LOL

If a lot of the women on here had more going on in their own lives they wouldn't need to get so wrapped up in the details of the lives of others...offer advice and support as it's requested..that's all that's required... Or post an interesting thread of your own ... there's only so much I can do ;) LOL !! just worried the OP may be giving too much away...

Cherpie, I hope you don't mind answering the following questions: What's your nationality? What are your childrens nationality? Why you are not in custody of your own passport? (it is a UAE law that NO ONE is allowed to hold the passport of another in this country - even if they are your maid - and you can go to the police and open a case against them if they do!!!) Has there been any documented abuse in your relationship? Has there been any documented cheating? Thanks I'm sorry but as a new poster I think Cherpie should be wary of answering your questions...why do you need to know all this ? EW is simply a forum for women to seek the support and advice of others without having to divulge any personal information... Doubting Thomas: You may want to read my origional post about what I am currently going through regarding my divorce before you start saying someone should be wary of answering my questions. Obviously someone is giving her very misguided information about her desire to divorce. If she has these documented proofs against her husband she can divorce him, take the kids AND get plenty of regular compensation! This is why I asked.. If she feels like she doesn't want to answer then that is completely up to her and I cannot help her out. But I was in a very abusive marriage and in the same position as her thinking he controled EVERYTHING and there was no way out but to be left hanging high and dry or beaten and bruiesed. I am trying to tell her she can fight and fight hard! But in order to do that she needs to have some basic knowledge on how to go about it. But I am guessing you never went through anything like this and thus your above statement!

If a lot of the women on here had more going on in their own lives they wouldn't need to get so wrapped up in the details of the lives of others...offer advice and support as it's requested..that's all that's required... Or post an interesting thread of your own ... there's only so much I can do ;)

If a lot of the women on here had more going on in their own lives they wouldn't need to get so wrapped up in the details of the lives of others...offer advice and support as it's requested..that's all that's required...

If I understand Cherpie's posts correctly: -she is from a western country -her DH was born in Canada with a Canadian passport -her DH's family is originally from a GCC country -they got married in her country -her kids have the same passport as her -she would need to give permission for the kids to get a Canadian passport and she is refusing to do this -her DH has since moving here obtained a passport for himself from his family's country of origin and he has also obtained passports from the same country for the kids -she is scared her DH will take the kids to his country of origin, and as they hold passports from there she may never be able to see them again (if she is unable to travel there and he refuses to bring them out of the country) -she is scared if she divorces here and does not get custody of her kids, her DH may cancel her visa after the divorce (since she has a spouse visa rather than being sponsored by a company)and she would have to go back home and leave her kids here with him I do not think she needs to divulge more info on this. You never know who may be reading this forum and may be able to recognise her IRL, and possibly cause her situation to get worse. Cherpie, your situation sounds like a very unhappy one. The information you get on a forum like this is not the best as the other posters will talk about what they know and their experience, which is not necessarily similar to yours or even correct. The best thing would be for you to go to the family courts and ask questions relevant to your situation. Maybe some of the posters who have dealt with divorce/custody/maintenance in Dubai could help Cherpie put together a list of questions to take with her to the court, the next time she gets a chance to visit there?