Stressed - need reassurance | ExpatWoman.com
 

Stressed - need reassurance

350
Posts
EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 10 April 2011 - 10:05

So this afternoon we have the nanny from the agency for a trial afternoon as me and DH are going out without 15 month old DS for the first time since we arrived in Dubai 2 months ago. It's stressing me as it's the first time he will be looked after by a stranger (he's always been looked after by family before). My main worry is that DS is having trouble settling to sleep in the evening and I'm worried that the nanny might not be able to get him to go to sleep. There is no way I can get him to sleep before we leave as dinner reservation is for 7pm and DH is adamant we have to be there on time as it's a work do!
What do you think I should do to make it easier on me and DS for the evening? And what do I tell the nanny?
Although as I've never had a nanny what should I look out for? I'll be around the house this afternoon so can listen to her interacting with DS...

350
Posts
EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 10 April 2011 - 17:02
So the nanny just left (we are not going out until Thursday evening, I think it was deleted from my original post when DS banged on my computer!) She was great and very patient even though DS cried for the first 45 minutes. By the time she left he didn't want to let go of her!! I felt like a bad mummy though hearing him cry and not doing anything about it! emlsnre replied : would love to be able to reassure you, but we still haven't left our dd with a sitter that she doesn't know and she is 6... That made me feel sooo much better though! DH seemed to think I was acting like a hen mother stressing about it! Hello.Again.Kitty thanks for your advice I will write her a list for the evening and like you say it's not the end of the world if DS doesn't sleep for the whole evening, just me being a control freak and worrying about everything!! All in all writing about it and reading your replies actually made me feel a bit better Thanks!
1861
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 10 April 2011 - 11:05
Also, write a note about what you would like her to do in certain situations. Something like "If DS cries, first give him a cuddle them put him down. If that doesn't work, give him some milk"... and in big and red, at the bottom, put you "in case of emergency" number... maybe even with a list of what you would consider reasons to call. Getting her to call you every hour or half hour may be a bit excessive... just let her do her job and get on with your evening. Also, at the end of the day, even if he doesn't settle to sleep for the whole evening, well, it's not the end of the world, is it? Lastly, I've found on a few occasions (in hotels and here when I've employed a baby-sitter) that they might actually sit *in the child's room* - talk about a literal interpretation of the job! On these occasions, neither of my children have gone to sleep (they're used to being left alone to fall asleep) and we've come back to find a rather knackered-looking babysitter! Just be clear about your expectations. <em>edited by Hello.Again.Kitty on 10/04/2011</em>
232
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 10 April 2011 - 10:43
would love to be able to reassure you, but we still haven't left our dd with a sitter that she doesn't know and she is 6...:\: same... perhaps install live nanny cams first. You can let the nanny know where they are and ask that she keep dd within view as much as possible;)
88
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 10 April 2011 - 10:37
Probably not what you want to hear but, personally, since you have the chance to see her interacting with DS before heading out, I would say that if you are in any way uncomfortable with what you see, even if you can't put your finger on why you're uncomfortable, don't go. Let DH go alone. However, assuming all goes well... just give the nanny your mobile # and ask her to ring you every hour or half hour... whatever works for you. Good luck. I know how hard it is. I haven't yet been able to do it and DD is 16 months. yes, give her you number and get hers. Also ask her to miss call you (abd you call her back) or provide her with credit for the phone. These ladies are short on money and not always have credit on their mobiles. <em>edited by dxb_dxb on 10/04/2011</em>
1692
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 10 April 2011 - 10:29
would love to be able to reassure you, but we still haven't left our dd with a sitter that she doesn't know and she is 6...:\:
618
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EW GURU
Latest post on 10 April 2011 - 10:15
Probably not what you want to hear but, personally, since you have the chance to see her interacting with DS before heading out, I would say that if you are in any way uncomfortable with what you see, even if you can't put your finger on why you're uncomfortable, don't go. Let DH go alone. However, assuming all goes well... just give the nanny your mobile # and ask her to ring you every hour or half hour... whatever works for you. Good luck. I know how hard it is. I haven't yet been able to do it and DD is 16 months.
228
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 10 April 2011 - 10:15
You can explain to your son what will happen tonight. Just tell him that you have to leave tonight with his daddy and he will stay with a nanny but you will come back tonight too. For the nanny, I think you have to explain her that it's the first time that your son will be looked after by somebody who is not a member of the family, and what makes your son confortable.
 
 

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