Teens and public transport

My daughter's friend got on a bus at MOE to get to AR, the driver didn't know where he was going and they ended up on Emirates Road, luckily she was in her late teens and directed the driver back to AR. She was extremely scared as she was the only person on the bus, the driver begged her not to report him as he would lose his job and had only started that day! When her mother found out she reported the driver, not so that he lost his job but so that they were aware that they need to give their drivers proper training.

VP that sounds terrible. Glad you dealt with it appropriately. A Rancher - no to taxis! At traffic lights in Dubai Marina at night I saw 2 taxi drivers in the front of one taxi, with 2 young women in arabic dress behind and the guy in the passenger seat kept twisting round to touch the woman behind him on the face. She kept trying to avoid him. Her friend was sitting with her chatting unconcernedly on the mobile, the car was stationary and they could have got out themselves, if they had wanted to, otherwise I would have tried to intervene. I'm sure you would not feel comfortable with your teenage daughter being alone in that position, day or night.

Anon, you are right. I think a lot of people who live in their secure 'new' Dubai areas have no idea of what is going on outside of their gates. Most cases of 'weird' things go unreported, I know how many cases they have a week, having a judge in our family, and it is quite scary. One day DD wanted to ride up our street for a minute with her brother. I asked the maid to stand at the gate and watch them, but they came running in 2 mins later as their was a man driving up next to them. I went out and he was parked across the street. I asked DD to ride out again and he started moving his car alongside her. That was enough for me, got his number and took a photo of his car, and he was hauled in. Decent looking young lad of 23, from a good family living in a nice house, with a good job. What did he want with my kids?

How old is your daughter A Rancher?

Dubai is full of dodgy depraved men. I'd be afraid to let my kids out alone ever, whether they are boys or girls.

Do what is comfortable for you, and remember that your DD will always find friends that have more freedom that her (or SEEMS to have more freedom that her in most of the case) and will come back with their examples and ask to do the same. Grass is always greener the other side of the fence, and she most likely will see only one part of the "deal". Now, perhaps it's time for your DD to spread her wings and fly a little away from the nest. You could take the bus with her, teach her, then next trip check if she does everything well, and then keep an eye (or an ear) on her her and ask her to text her when she gets the bus, and when she arrives and bus number (I think they have one). Bus driver are always nice, helpful and protective from my own experience (one wouldn't start the bus is my DD was not seating). Also, as per as the friend taking a taxi with 4 others - so too much people - I wouldn't forbid her to see this friend. You will most likely have the reverse effect that the one expected. She's not 4 anymore, you can't forbid her to see someone because you don't like one action and expect her to follow you. Is it really this only thing that bothers you about this friend ? What makes you sure that the parents knew and agreed for her to get a taxi with 4 others ? They are at that age when you have certain freedom, and you take your own decisions, and it happens that some of them are not the best ones, and you figure out that your parents will not allow that at all afterwards. It's not that you did something wrong on purpose, it's just that you weren't aware of what you were doing. If your DD reported you that 5 took a taxi so without seatbelt, it's certainly because she was waiting for you to react and reinforce what you've thought her during years. She's between two fires now : one is what she's learned with you and one is what she is learning with her friends now. Her life gets more centred around her friends now that around you. She is between being an child (where all her life is centred around you) and an adult (where she has her own life and you are part of it, yet not the center). The transition is not easy, and she still needs you to guide her. She knows what you said and agree with it and just need a confirmation from you, your strength, that she doesn't have yet (to be able to stand her own values in front of a group of friends). Give it to her, and explain again to her why it's so important to have a seatbelt (or visualize an add on u-tube, and add the recent fact : 127 cars piled up a few days ago), and tell her that she is strong enough and wise enough to refuse to get in a situation where she doesn't feel safe. Remember that at this age, it's not always easy to be the wise one, the one who do always the right things. And make no concession as it's for her own safety, which is the most important of all. Most probably, she will ask you what to do/say, find with her 2 or 3 things she can do to stand and what she feels good to do while not loose her "status" amongst her friends. Just an idea ;)

I think quite a few teens use this bus route. So the chances are she would know someone on the bus. Also in the ladies section at the front all the ladies seem to keep an eye out for each other and would probably do the same for her. I would do it with her once as another poster suggested and see how you feel about it.

I let my teenager DD take the metro on her own. First time we did trip together so she knew exactly where to go etc. Now she txts me when she gets on and when she gets off. There are security staff around and she's in the woman's carriage. I would rather she use metro or bus than a taxi.

I can't really put my finger on why I feel uncomfortable about her going on the bus; maybe it's that there's no "supervision" as she's never really been out on her own. She's had sleepovers with friends and families but it's people we know well and even when she's with her own friends it's girls that I know pretty well. Guess I'm just bit scared about her going out completely on her own! Fair enough-maybe try doing the bus trip with her and see if you feel the same way afterwards.Girls in groups can be challenging!

I understand your concerns re seatbelts etc but what is worrying you most about the buses? She would be sitting up front in the ladies section and I have never had a bad bus driver or seen passengers being difficult. I think I would rather my daughter went on a bus than in a taxi if the choice was between the two. <em>edited by wuffles on 09/04/2011</em>

Thanks for your replies. Dd keeps asking why she can't get the bus but I'm just not comfortable for her to go on her own. I know in other countries teens catch public transport and go across the city for school etc and she will have to go out on her own eventually but I feel uneasy about her doing it here. Thanks I'll stick to my position.

As vp said do what you are comfortable doing and what fits/suits your family. One of my friend and very clever mum allows her teens to take taxis but they must send her a text or call her with the taxi number as soon as they get into the cab. hth

If you are not comfortable then the answer is NO. Do not be swayed by what others do. Make sure that you know how your DD is going to get around before she goes out. ETA: my DD is not allowed out, period. this is the way we do things, and it will not change unless we feel comfortable with it. I am happy to go out with her and her friends, but really, Dubai is not a place for this. <em>edited by vero possumus on 09/04/2011</em>