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What would you do if your maid threw a valuable item out in the bin?

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1340

Posts

EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 07 November 2011 - 20:24

Suzyduzy you live in DSO right? Well your maid has sold your table bass or done a deal with someone as there is no way anyone would take it from outside the front of your house without asking and unless you paid DSO headquaters to move it they would not have taken it and the rubbish guys certainly would not take it, so your maid is not telling you the truth. No one would take anything like this in DSO unless they had permission to. Just because she's a maid doesn't mean she isn't cash savvy, these girls know how to spot a Dirham a mile away! Better invest in a safe for all your valuables sounds as if you have a shrewd maid. I agree with your DH i'd be docking her pay big time or demand she gets it back asap! : now the cameras are up you could always ask security to take a look at footage of the time it went. edited by Lolacat on 07/11/2011 That post is just so depressing. There is a huge difference between being realistic.............and aggressively paranoid. :( I feel it's more realistic knowing the compound and that new western madams can be easy pickings for some. To quote your words "These girls/women mostly come from extremely deprived and limited backgrounds, and a plane ticket and a visa do not equate to a[b'> brain [/b'>and culture transplant. Everything NEEDS to be explained, over and over.....sometimes to the point of seemingly[b'> insane [/b'>repetition." LOL Yes, so glad you read my post.............however- nothing I said reinforces your paranoia. And just to clarify, I am well aware that many maids are devious and manipulative and dishonest..........but it should not be the default assessment in situations of which neither you nor I know anything...........other than a brief account of an accident and a subsequent misunderstanding. And to put things into perspective............ I am pretty sure the retail cost of the table would have gone completely to the wicket keeper........the base probably looked to the maid like broken junk. On the otherhand, she may well be part of a major maids' mafia salvage scam............

2738

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 07 November 2011 - 20:23

SAS could you re quote the new edited non depressing copy of my previous post please? Thank you so much, would hate to upset anyone.

1340

Posts

EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 07 November 2011 - 20:08

Suzyduzy you live in DSO right? Well your maid has sold your table bass or done a deal with someone as there is no way anyone would take it from outside the front of your house without asking and unless you paid DSO headquaters to move it they would not have taken it and the rubbish guys certainly would not take it, so your maid is not telling you the truth. No one would take anything like this in DSO unless they had permission to. Just because she's a maid doesn't mean she isn't cash savvy, these girls know how to spot a Dirham a mile away! Better invest in a safe for all your valuables sounds as if you have a shrewd maid. I agree with your DH i'd be docking her pay big time or demand she gets it back asap! : now the cameras are up you could always ask security to take a look at footage of the time it went. edited by Lolacat on 07/11/2011 That post is just so depressing. There is a huge difference between being realistic.............and aggressively paranoid. :(

2738

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 07 November 2011 - 20:00

Suzyduzy you live in D*O right? Well your maid has possibly sold your table base or possibly done a deal with someone as it is highly unlikely anyone would take it from outside the front of your house without asking and unless you paid D*O headquaters to move it they would not have taken it and the rubbish guys certainly would not take it, so your maid may not be telling you the whole truth. No one would take anything like this in D*O unless they had permission to (pretty sure of that). Can't give away rubbbish! Just because she's a maid doesn't mean she isn't cash savvy, some of these girls know how to spot a Dirham a mile away! Better invest in a safe for all your valuables sounds as if you have a shrewd maid. I agree with your DH i'd be docking her pay big time or demand she gets it back asap! PS: now the cameras are up you could always ask security to take a look at footage of the time it went. Edited to be more PC (not depress another poster) and throw another angle that others who do not live in this area would not be aware of, be grateful if those who quoted could change their posts, thank you. <em>edited by Lolacat on 07/11/2011</em>

STILLadviceseek...

425

Posts

EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 07 November 2011 - 19:50

Hi SuzyDuzy, If this is the first time that this has happened, I would let her off and tell her that you are very unhappy with her for throwing it away and that you will leave it as an miscommunication but if it happens again you will deduct it from her salary. If this is something that has happened before then take it out of her salary. Although I know you feel bad to take the money off her, if you do, she'll never ever do it again.

1184

Posts

EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 07 November 2011 - 19:49

I would not make her pay. Just explain what to do next time. Do not tolerate a second occurrence though.

2725

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EW EXPERT

Latest post on 07 November 2011 - 19:40

It worries me that a glass table can break so easily, happy to know the kids were not harmed.

379

Posts

EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 07 November 2011 - 19:38

I agree with everything LivelyTrish said. More than likely it is a miscommunication and it seems that she hasn't been with you very long at that. Has she worked for other expats or is this her first job as a housemaid? You also said that she wasn't with the children when it happened. Was she cleaning, cooking, doing laundry, or some other household chore or possibly getting something for the kids to drink or eat? If she is responsible for the upkeep of your home how can she manage it if she has to be taking care of the children as well? Your children got a blasting for breaking the glass, which was an accident, and your DH wants the maid to pay for what was an accident (as a result of miscommunication?). If she is new you will have to repeat yourself over and over and make sure that she understands what you are communicating to her. There are times they will say yes, yes, all the while not really understanding, because of the fear of losing their job. If she is new to being a housemaid, with time and patience, you just may find yourself with one of those "rare" housemaids.

kiwispiers15400

2782

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 07 November 2011 - 19:37

She obviously thought she was supposed to throw it out, honest mistake, no malice intended it would be absolutely morally wrong to make her pay for it, as said below if you madea mistake at work that cost yor company money it wouldn't come out of your own pay. I don't see it as a reflection of her character either and she probably had no idea of the value of the table. Explain to her if something is broken please do not throw it away, live and learn. As far as lack of common sense, if it relates to safety then by all means be concerned otherwise just accept that her main function is to help with your kids and if she is doing a good job of that then be grateful.

Anonymous (not verified)

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Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 07 November 2011 - 19:18

I would not deduct any amount from her salary. I am imagining how I would react if my employer deducted an amount for every mistake I make. I wouldn't be a very happy, motivated employee and my company won't get my best performance as a result. I always tell myself that i will end up being really disappointed if im trying to find a perfect maid because I don't think there exists one. They are humans like all of us and I figured I need to treat mine with compassion and understanding when mistakes are done. It is another issue if she is not listening to me at all and if she keeps on underperforming in other areas of her responsibility but to punish her for one mistake is not something I would do. I would also end up feeling very guilty every month i hand her a pay check less 100aed. just my opinion... <em>edited by Metness on 07/11/2011</em>

498

Posts

EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 07 November 2011 - 19:14

She's a maid............and that's it. If you are trusting your children's well being and safety.....wholly to her judgement, then hire a Norland nanny .at the appropriate rates. Yes, there are maids out there who are absolute gems, with intelligence and experience far above the norm........but they are rare. These girls/women mostly come from extremely deprived and limited backgrounds, and a plane ticket and a visa do not equate to a brain and culture transplant. Everything NEEDS to be explained, over and over.....sometimes to the point of seemingly insane repetition. In this case, the poor woman probably feels really dreadful about a mishap "on her watch " and thought that by disposing of the detritus (in her eyes) was doing everyone a favour. How you OP progress this situation, only you can tell, but lack of common sense (in a Western/developed world meaning of the word) is, I'm afraid an all too "common" trait. But...it can be taught.........just takes time and patience!!! edited by Livelytrish on 07/11/2011 Yes I know all of the above...thanks... but sometimes it's just hard to 'accept it'. I don't blame her for the broken table, in fact, I never even said anything to her about it because I could see she was uncomfortable, but the kids got a blasting. As for reimbursing the base - I agree that is is unfair but was DH's thinking - which is why I posted here because I wanted for him to see what I thought you would all say about this. It's just that she threw it out by choice which aggravates us so much!! I guess we need to sit down and talk ... again... I couldn't live without her at the moment so I have to make it work. We have a friend whose maid is sooooo on the ball! I do like her though, and as you have so rightly said, amazing maids are rare...you can't have everything right?

1340

Posts

EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 07 November 2011 - 18:57

She's a maid............and that's it. If you are trusting your children's well being and safety.....wholly to her judgement, then hire a Norland nanny .at the appropriate rates. Yes, there are maids out there who are absolute gems, with intelligence and experience far above the norm........but they are rare. These girls/women mostly come from extremely deprived and limited backgrounds, and a plane ticket and a visa do not equate to a brain and culture transplant. Everything NEEDS to be explained, over and over.....sometimes to the point of seemingly insane repetition. In this case, the poor woman probably feels really dreadful about a mishap "on her watch " and thought that by disposing of the detritus (in her eyes) was doing everyone a favour. How you OP progress this situation, only you can tell, but lack of common sense (in a Western/developed world meaning of the word) is, I'm afraid an all too "common" trait. But...it can be taught.........just takes time and patience!!! <em>edited by Livelytrish on 07/11/2011</em>

Puffinlunde34121

384

Posts

EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 07 November 2011 - 18:50

It sounds like a misunderstanding/miscommunication occured - never assume that someone completely understands the implied meaning of what you say when they are speaking their second third or fourth language - she may not have understood that a broken table had a great value - you said put it out of the way - meaning until you fix it - she probably heard - put it out of the way until we can get rid of it I think it would be grossly unfair to make your maid pay for an item that your OWN KIDS broke to the tune of 5-10% of her monthly income for 1 year and 10 months - are you also stopping your kids allowance and taking away their birthday presents?? This type of accident could easily have happened to you or a visitor to your home

498

Posts

EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 07 November 2011 - 18:46

Hi Chocs, the spare room is actually a bedroom that we just haven't set up yet. We moved not so long ago, so this is the room where we have bits and pieces of furniture, wall hangings etc which need to be completed. Miscommunication is sadly possible.. but I am now questioning if we made the right choice of maid... stomach in knots right now... we has just applied for the visa, and we just have to do the medical and then its a sealed deal - wondering if they can cancel now or is it too late? It is not just from this incident, but a few others where common sense is severely lacking - and this concerns us if it is related to the kids especially. Apart from that everything else is great... sigh...sob..sob You can't teach common sense unfortunately and if your gut instinct is already telling you that she's a dud in a few areas then................. I know it's hard but you have to be sensible especially if you will be leaving her in charge. Exactly - that's why I am so depressed at the mo...

829

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 07 November 2011 - 18:39

Hi Chocs, the spare room is actually a bedroom that we just haven't set up yet. We moved not so long ago, so this is the room where we have bits and pieces of furniture, wall hangings etc which need to be completed. Miscommunication is sadly possible.. but I am now questioning if we made the right choice of maid... stomach in knots right now... we has just applied for the visa, and we just have to do the medical and then its a sealed deal - wondering if they can cancel now or is it too late? It is not just from this incident, but a few others where common sense is severely lacking - and this concerns us if it is related to the kids especially. Apart from that everything else is great... sigh...sob..sob You can't teach common sense unfortunately and if your gut instinct is already telling you that she's a dud in a few areas then................. I know it's hard but you have to be sensible especially if you will be leaving her in charge.

498

Posts

EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 07 November 2011 - 18:38

Hi Chocs, the spare room is actually a bedroom that we just haven't set up yet. We moved not so long ago, so this is the room where we have bits and pieces of furniture, wall hangings etc which need to be completed. Miscommunication is sadly possible.. but I am now questioning if we made the right choice of maid... stomach in knots right now... we has just applied for the visa, and we just have to do the medical and then its a sealed deal - wondering if they can cancel now or is it too late? It is not just from this incident, but a few others where common sense is severely lacking - and this concerns us if it is related to the kids especially. Apart from that everything else is great... sigh...sob..sob

45

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 07 November 2011 - 18:36

Happened to us . . .

3804

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EW MASTER

Latest post on 07 November 2011 - 18:36

Said part might very well be on the way to the Philippines or Sri Lanka now ;) That did also cross my mind.

761

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 07 November 2011 - 18:35

It sounds like a misunderstanding. IMO when you have people in your home (visitors, children or maids!) these things will happen, a fact of life really. I'd be thankful nobody was hurt when it broke! I don't think she shouldn't be held accountable (financially) for an honest mistake.

45

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 07 November 2011 - 18:35

Said part might very well be on the way to the Philippines or Sri Lanka now ;)

3804

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 07 November 2011 - 18:28

To be fair she could have misunderstood and assumed you weren't going to try and fix it. Asking her to put it somewhere where nobody will see it or goes. could in her mind mean that it would just sit there forever and have nothing done. Sounds more like miscommunication to me and she just went on her own initiative and disposed of it. Yes, she should have asked before she did, but still.

498

Posts

EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 07 November 2011 - 18:21

Thanks. The table top was our kids, so yes, our responsibility (even if it was under her supervision when it happened - she wasn't in the room with them apparently). It could have been replaced. She had originally put the base, with small broken part still attached, in the bathroom out of the way and for us to see. She also put the matching smaller table in another room. When I saw the base with broken top, I asked her to put it away into a spare room where nobody goes...and that was the last I saw of it. Your advice is spot on - DH said the same thing. At the end of the day, the money is not the issue, it is the illogical thinking and lack of common sense that makes us very concerned about leaving our kids with her. It is such a shame as everything else is great... sigh...

1759

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EW EXPERT

Latest post on 07 November 2011 - 18:07

Is she paying for the base or the top or both? Sorry but your kids broke the table - somebody has to suck that part of it up? Can the top be replaced? - I'm assuming so from your post. If the base can be retrieved - then if the kids broke it - I would say it's the employer's responsibility to replace the top. If the base can't that's another conversation - however, why would the maid get rid of the base so quickly - seemingly in a matter of hours? Were there sharp edges that might endanger the children? As a piece of advice for the future (and not a commentary/judgement on what has happened in your house today) I have always told my maid/cleaning people - if it's broken, tell me, I can then take steps to replace or repair it - I get p!ssed when I go to use something and find it's broken or not there. I have never charged the maid for items like this - but then my maid doesn't usually break stuff very often ( once every two or three years ) and I look on it as if I'd been doing the work, I might have broken it myself.

498

Posts

EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 07 November 2011 - 18:05

It's already gone - they picked up yesterday - or maybe even a neighbour collected it, but it any case it is no longer out the front...I had told her to take it up stairs and put it in the spare room... and yes, I asked her why she didn't ask us first..ummmmm.... (we were out the whole day ....and the worst thing, I rarely go out with DH and for once we did!!)

238

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 07 November 2011 - 17:55

Dumpster dive - quickly!!!!

144

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 07 November 2011 - 17:55

Wow, where did she dispose of the item, can you get it back?. Did she know you were going to fix it, I wonder why she did not ask you before she threw it away. <em>edited by athomemom on 07/11/2011</em>

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