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Mummies with Wild Imaginations!!

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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 22 May 2011 - 19:09
Sooooooooo. if you are aware of abnormal responses, particularly to risk awareness, get some help. in most cases it's quite simply serotinin levels out of whack. No fun going through life waiting for the shoe to fall.
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 22 May 2011 - 19:04
Does anyone know the likelihood of getting PND again with a second baby?
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 22 May 2011 - 19:03
[ I think people can be really blase about the early onset on mental health problems when we should in fact be on to them as soon as - because once the blue print has been laid down its there for years just waiting to show its face again when the time is right. edited by DesertRose1958 on 22/05/2011 Ye, yes, yes, yes yes!
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 22 May 2011 - 18:51
Nothing new about feeling like this.........Roger Bacon, in the sixteenth century described our children as our "hostages to fortune". We just have to take reasonable precautions, with a realistic risk assessment, and hope for the best. Any other way, therein lies madness.
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 22 May 2011 - 18:37
Well if my mum's anything to go by it never goes away! Funnily enough we were talking about it just recently. Me and my sister's are all in our twenties now, and mum STILL has wild and scary scenarios about things that could happen to us!!! Interestinly, she did have bad PND after each of us ..... don't want to worry any of you but it's worth knowing I think. Oh god, me and your mum would get on great together. And its funny this thread has come up today because I just told my daughter a couple of hours ago that I didnt want her and husband to take my 3 grandchildren on holiday without me. And the reason? Well France is near to Portugal and there are bad people about. Not that they'd ever be left alone - but you know it would be better if there were more of us with you. I think I really do need to get a grip but in all honesty - I dont think I ever will because this nannying lark is far more worrysome than mummying :) eta - there are a couple of ladies posting on this thread who I can identify with very strongly. Suffice it say that during one of my pregnancies I once went back to the house 12 times in an hour to check I had switched the kettle off. And yes, I did end up with PND. I think people can be really blase about the early onset on mental health problems when we should in fact be on to them as soon as - because once the blue print has been laid down its there for years just waiting to show its face again when the time is right. edited by DesertRose1958 on 22/05/2011 <em>edited by DesertRose1958 on 22/05/2011</em>
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 22 May 2011 - 18:22
I have no problem waving him off at school :) The plane thing was pretty surreal, watching it and really thinking there was a high chance of it ending up badly. I don't dream up scenarios like this as a matter of course but seeing this plane in trouble made the chances of something bad happening seem far more real. Had it have turned south I would only have been worried for the crew (it would also have been over a far-less densely populated area). I'm quite happy for him to go home with some of his friends because I know they will be strapped in the car and looked after properly by the parents. I guess for me it's how much control I have. I have a good relationship with his teacher and know she would contact me straight away if there's a problem, likewise with the mothers of the friends he has playdates with. My thing is from Thursday I will be SO far away with a 7 hour time difference and relying on other people keeping me informed - and keeping my kids safe.
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EW GURU
Latest post on 22 May 2011 - 15:12
Island Girl, by no means do I want to dismiss how you felt. I've had the baby blues - as do 50-80% of women who have babies - and they're awful. But this isn't quite the same. WHat I'm talking about is actually a form of PND or Post Natal Depression and affects about 2 to 3 % of those women who have PND. It's also more common among women who are slightly obsessive compulsive to begin with. And these imaginings, or whatever you want to call them, are deeply disturbing 'visions' almost. You feel like you're witnessing this terrible thing happening to your child and there's normally nothing you can do to stop the 'story' from unfolding in your head. Hence, the link with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. And it'd not a one off thing. It happens a lot. For me, it started out being several times a day. Now that I've gotten things under control a bit, it seems to be once every month or two but then it's phases. Something will trigger it and then it'll happen several times over a period of 2 or 3 days, all with the same general 'theme' (linked to whatever set it off) and then nothing for another month or two. Sanddy_Dogg... your youngest is 6! And here I was hoping that once I actually managed to put mine in school, I'd get used to it and it would all be ok!!! edited by m_king on 22/05/2011 <em>edited by m_king on 22/05/2011</em>
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 22 May 2011 - 08:41
*joins the club* Firstly, I have been treated for mild depression inthe past so I think this may have a bearing. My youngest is 6 but that doesn't stop the panics. I'm quite relaxed about him being at school, going to a friend's fir a playdate, playing outside if the garden etc. but I also had the vapours after the tsunami, wondering if the entire school could fit in the 2nd floor library. I was told we're not in a tsunami area, something to do with the water not being deep enough (no idea if that's true) and relaxed. A few weeks ago DH and I were walking the dog and a cargo plane came over very low with it's wheels still down, clearly in some kind of trouble as we are 20km from the airport, it flew out to sea then turned back over land further north of us. It did not gain any height and twice the nose dipped before it went out of sight. All I could think of was where was it in relation to the school? Was it headed over the school thankfully it seemed to have made it back to the airport. DH and i are leaving the kids with my dad for a week from Thursday and I've been in a complete state. My dad us very sensible and safety conscious but every now and again thoughts creep in of what if something bad were to happen, I'd be so far away. What if one of thx kids was hurt and wanted me but I couldn't get there in less than 24 hours? I try not to let these thoughts develop or I'll be a basket case! I'm sure theyll be fine but doesn't stop me worrying LOL!
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 22 May 2011 - 07:47
Honestly, I don't think it ever goes away either. Anyone watch Grey's Anatomy a few weeks ago where Callie was ready to take her LO home from the hospital and freaked out cause something could hurt her in her carseat?! Dr. Bailey said those fears would subside some but would never really go away cause that's what happens when you become a mother. Just a show but I could really relate to her. I never really told the doctor of my fears after DS was born but I did have about 3 weeks where at about 5pm everyday I would cry for no reason and I asked her about that and she just said it was normal and probably the baby blues caused by drastic changes in hormones and we needed to keep an eye on it. It stopped so I never mentioned it again. I often wonder about the next one and if the same thing will happen. I tell myself that I won't be so nervous next time because I have done it all before...I hope I am right because I would really like to enjoy the first months rather than be so worried that I can't leave the house for fear that something bad might happen. Fingers crossed!
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 22 May 2011 - 02:03
Well if my mum's anything to go by it never goes away! Funnily enough we were talking about it just recently. Me and my sister's are all in our twenties now, and mum STILL has wild and scary scenarios about things that could happen to us!!! Interestinly, she did have bad PND after each of us ..... don't want to worry any of you but it's worth knowing I think.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 21 May 2011 - 15:46
What a fab thread! Nursery!! lol! Don't get me started! I was insistent that DD would only go to a nursery where there would be cameras so that I can check on her! Lol! Thankfuly outgrew that but DD is still not in nursery though. Sigh! I need to get over myself on this one!
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 21 May 2011 - 14:53
Snap! I really, really didn't want to take anything - maybe I thought if I didn't it wouldn't be real and I wouldn't really be going nuts?! :D - but you're right, I could have been feeling better a long time ago. Still get good days and bad days. At the first sniff of PND with this baby I am off to the doctor for as much as they'll give me.
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EW GURU
Latest post on 21 May 2011 - 11:45
October, your story gives me hope. Who knows? Maybe one day I will be perfectly rational too. Hmm... but then again, I never was!!! DubaiCat, yes, that's what I read. I meant to say earlier that you don't actually have to feel depressed. But it's still part of post-natal depression. And in fact, we should count ourselves lucky because it's actually the same condition that makes some poor women experience visions of hurting their children themselves. it's not that they want to and it must be quite horrific to experience it. It's bad enough imagining someone else hurting your child. I couldn't begin to understand what it must do to you to imagine that you're hurting your own baby. Must really make you think you've gone over the edge. But it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. And I forgot to say in this thread that apparently mild anti-depressants work wonders for this sort of thing. Again, just because you may not feel depressed doesn't mean anti-depressants can't help. So maybe if you're really freaking out, you should consider trying anti-depresants. And if your doctor isn't empathetic to this sort of thing, consider going to one of the doctors that come highly recommended on this forum. I was going to try anti-depressants but decided I would give myself a little time to see if I coulndn't get it under control. Now, as I said, I'm doing so much better, but really, I think I was a bit of an idiot not to try the anti-depressants. I could have been feeling better a long time ago!
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 21 May 2011 - 11:42
i dont even know what thoughts will arise when i have to send her off to school, with all the weirdos out there.. look more strange thoughts.. i was watching modern family, which is absolutely hilarious, and in that episode, the teenage daughter got her license and drove off, i wanted to cry! it made me think about my little girl growing up and all the situations that will occur when i am not there to protect her.. m_king, at least i try to laugh, maybe i laugh so lighten the load, and so my hubby doesn't take me to the institution lol...
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 21 May 2011 - 11:31
When my oldest DD was tiny I hoarded food - before she was even on solids. DH got a little bit cross with me as every time I went out I came back with a mini food mountain. Can't remember how I got over it but sanity returned at some point. I also went through the Weltschmerz thing - think that's what it's called - where every tragic news story would make me weep. I am now a perfectly rational mum of two beautiful teenage daughters :\: <em>edited by october on 21/05/2011</em>
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 21 May 2011 - 11:27
My doctor back in the UK said this is a form of post-traumatic stress and is called 'invasive thoughts' or 'invasive images' where all of a sudden you just get a picture or something in your head. He said it's linked with/part of post-natal depression because it can often happen after a traumatic birth. I was talking about it with some friends last weekend and we all said we'd experienced it, and were all surprised we weren't the only ones! You're right, people may not necessarily want to talk about it or admit it happens to them. And the thought of leaving DS at nursery and physically driving away leaves me in bits... :D. Must man up!
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EW GURU
Latest post on 21 May 2011 - 11:23
ashc... that was my main point for posting this... just so others might be able to realise it's not just them. Even if they don't necessarily want to post. I know it's VERY hard to admit for some. It was hard for me, and I'm the type of person who is quite open about things that are hard to deal with because I find admitting them and having them out in the open make them easier to, well, deal with! julzandrews, that's great that you can laugh it off. Like your Taliban scenario, all of mine are situations where someone or something (a situation, whatever) is trying to / could cause harm to my child and I can't help her either because I'm being prevented from doing so by people or because I am hurt / unconscious and can't do anything. My biggest problem was that I couldn't 'shake off' these thoughts. They were like movies in my head and I couldn't / can't stop them. I have to see them through! It's awful. But getting better. a) they happen far less often and b) sometimes I am able to turn them off!! In the early days I used to worry that I'd never be able to send my daughter to school because I couldn't possibly be separated from her because I need to be there to protect her ALL THE TIME. Although the thought of school does still freak me out a little, I can actually see myself sending her now!! LOL (And this coming from a woman whose daughter will go to daddy's school!! Yes, my DH is in education!!)
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 21 May 2011 - 11:09
while i was i my 8th and 9 trimester i would cry at any murder, rape or story where children women or family were harmed... i just felt soo much pain for them, then my sister she would laugh at me as she already had her daughter who is now 6, my sister would say just wait as soon as you have you baby, you are going to think of the craziest scenarios, and well, the time came and yes i did and still do, my daughter will be 6 months i a couple of days, and i will admit, the thoughts have gone down since i am over the sleepless nights and SIDS scares combo, but now they are even stranger, i read about men climbing into villa, well i live on the 21st story in a high rise and i wake up having to check on my daughter just to see if someone took her and i think of stupid things like, 2012, and how i will keep her alive if any type of apocalypse occurs, or what if the taliban came to dubai, and hurt her in front of me because we are western (damn wardens messages), my showers just aren't relaxing anymore, and those alone times are when the crazy thoughts creep in.. i don't think i am depressed, i mean i am a happy person... i just let these thoughts surface and shake them off, cause thats all i can do, i mean i dont think they will happen but i cant help them from popping up out of no where... weird, eigh??? again the thoughts are happening less and less, thank goodness my husband helps me, we just sorta laugh it off, and think of it as a phase of motherhood...
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 21 May 2011 - 10:58
Thank you M_king! I wanted to post on the other thread as well! I am sure that there are many other mums that feel the same way and its good to know thats there are others in the same boat. Some mums I've spoken to have felt this way too and are so relived when I bring it up! When the Tsunami hit Japan, I could not sleep for a few nights! When I heard of the car crash that killed a 6 month old, I was super careful driving for a few days ( paranoid, annoying others super careful) My baby is 16 months old now and its MUCH better and I can control it, but the first year my head was a pretty scary place to be ;)
 
 

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