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ewmoda

Will I need help with my newborn?

341

Posts

EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 03 August 2011 - 20:29

I am expecting my baby next month, nobody is coming to help, my MIL lives here but she wont live with us. Everyone keeps telling me that my mom should come and help but that it is not possible, she is too far away, and cant come. So people tell me that I need a nanny or maid or nurse to help me with the newborn. I wonder if it is really necessary. Back home nobody gets one but of course many women have their moms helping. I will be going back to work ( 7 am - 2 pm) and MIL may take care of the baby but I am not sure yet. So, dont know what to do. I hate the idea of having a maid or nanny living with us. People in the west dont have maids and the manage.

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Hello.Again.Kitty

1861

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 04 August 2011 - 12:02

Thanks ladies for your replies. It makes me feel more at easy as I think I can handle it. I already have some lady that comes and cleans and my husband will be at home with me for 2 weeks, plus he is self employed so if needed he can reduce his normal hours. oh, that's ideal! You'll do just fine!

3

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 04 August 2011 - 10:03

Thanks ladies for your replies. It makes me feel more at easy as I think I can handle it. I already have some lady that comes and cleans and my husband will be at home with me for 2 weeks, plus he is self employed so if needed he can reduce his normal hours. Excellent and njoy d motherhood...if u have support of ur DH u can manage anythinng and everythng...sayng frm my experience...had baby 6months back..now an wrkng mom :)

341

Posts

EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 04 August 2011 - 09:57

Thanks ladies for your replies. It makes me feel more at easy as I think I can handle it. I already have some lady that comes and cleans and my husband will be at home with me for 2 weeks, plus he is self employed so if needed he can reduce his normal hours.

47

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 04 August 2011 - 01:31

You'll be surprised what you can do, its really up to you and what you want. I was adament I didn't need any help, but when mum came to visit from NZ it was awesome! I could have coped, but hey having some support is good too and nothing to be ashamed of , particularly if DH goes back to work for long hours as is Dubai typical=-) You don't usually get a certificate for being supermum generally, so if you can get a little help, why not? Why not see if you can find someone just to do a few hours cleaning a week just to lighten your load like some of the ladies suggested? If your not keen on that, follow the good advice and stock up now on food and necessary items, accept that a mess is ok while your getting it together (point that out to DH incase he is unaware of this=-) and feel free when you need to get out the door to walk right out on it all with babe in arms for time out walk, cafe visit or whatever helps you and bubs.. I used to do a few laps in the pram around the mall in hot weather, not neceassarily for shopping just to get out a bit and baby enjoyed a walk. Some mums like to stay home a lot for the first wee while, whereas I'm more of a 'I need to be out and about'. I joined a baby group when I was ready and that really helped too, chatting to other new mums was great, just be aware that you take all the 'advice' with a grain of salt and just because someone is doing something doesn't mean you should be (despite what they say=-) Most of all enjoy it, it goes fast x <em>edited by chance on 04/08/2011</em>

77

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 04 August 2011 - 00:41

I managed with no help. DH was quite hands on in the beginning but we did just fine. Let things go ... who cares if your floors could do with a mop or if the dishes need doing? Sometimes having someone else around can be more exhausting that just being alone with you little family. I agree that stocking up the freezer and cupboards is really important. Everything falls into place pretty fast and always console yourself with the fact that your baby has NO idea what order and cleanliness of the house means for YEARS!

197

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 03 August 2011 - 23:02

My Mum flew 20 hours to come when DS was 2 weeks old, she took over the kitchen , did all the cooking, dishes and brought me snacks while I breast-fed. She also bathed my baby while I slept in and gave me hugs when I needed them. I cried when she left 4 weeks later. You don't NEED help in terms of figuring it all out, but having a newborn is exhausting, I would take steps to make your life easier wherever possible, so you can enjoy your baby more. Meanwhile fill your freezer with as many home-made oven ready meals as possible (lasagnes etc), you will not feel like cooking. You can get a fulltime or part time live-out, it ends up being all on you at night anyway :( Where's that darn *like* button?! Sounds like me! Was soo fab to have mom here! Sigh!

Hello.Again.Kitty

1861

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 03 August 2011 - 22:19

you don't actually need anyone, but it does help. You simply won't be able to schedule in cooking or cleaning (hang the cleaning, it's the food that's important!), so either get someone in to help out (even hubby - shock horror!) or be super prepared and have the list of take-aways, a freezer full of prepared meals to hand and/or a stock of food that can be cooked one-handed! Can you husband take a couple of weeks off around the birth? Mine did both times (even if it was unpaid) and that was great. I didn't have any help first time around (apart from DH), but second time around, my MiL came along for a few days right after the birth and then my mum took over for a couple of weeks when DH had to go back to Dubai and leave me with 2 screaming under-twos! You'll be fine - just prepare what you can in advance... most of all anything that requires more than 10 uninterrupted minutes! Stock up your food cupboard and get hold of the bulky things you usually buy.

671

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 03 August 2011 - 21:48

You might like to consider hiring a post-natal doula for help and support after the birth.

157

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 03 August 2011 - 21:37

I didn't have help with my newborn either. Back home we don't so I didn't think I needed help here. DH was & still is a godsend though. He's very hands on. The first week I didn't change one nappy at all! Very important to sleep when baby is sleeping, don't worry about housework! DH is a clean freak but that's all changed now our LO has arrived. If it bothers you that much get a cleaner in. If you don't want one full time use a part time agency one. Those first few weeks finding your feet can be extremely exhausting so make sure if you need help, to ask. I was always on the phone to my sister or friends asking for advise etc. DH had to go on a business trip when DS was 2 months old. He was away for 2 weeks and I was so panicked leading up to the trip I worked myself up into a right state. His parents were going to fly up from NZ to help out but in the end I decided to do it on my own. I managed just fine and it was a really nice time with just me & my DS. Good luck :)

MommyOficially17027

182

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 03 August 2011 - 21:22

I think the husband can do some of the cooking or all of it and well as long as u only need to take care of the baby im sure u can manage so get a cleaner to do the hard and nasty jobs like cleaning the house from top to bottom and u can even keep the dishes for her and all laundry. they come quite cheap I think and they r loads of help although I would not let them near my baby. when u need a bath or u can always take baby with u in the bathroom play some light music and keep him in his pram or carseat or swing :) same with kitchen if ur keen on cooking. and try to sleep whenever the baby sleeps as u will need loads and loads of rest

kiwispiers15400

2782

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 03 August 2011 - 21:11

My Mum flew 20 hours to come when DS was 2 weeks old, she took over the kitchen , did all the cooking, dishes and brought me snacks while I breast-fed. She also bathed my baby while I slept in and gave me hugs when I needed them. I cried when she left 4 weeks later. You don't NEED help in terms of figuring it all out, but having a newborn is exhausting, I would take steps to make your life easier wherever possible, so you can enjoy your baby more. Meanwhile fill your freezer with as many home-made oven ready meals as possible (lasagnes etc), you will not feel like cooking. You can get a fulltime or part time live-out, it ends up being all on you at night anyway :(

230

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 03 August 2011 - 20:48

Hey congratulations, Well I too had no help because my family is far away and I managed perfectly fine, my DD is now 4months and she is my first child, its not a must that you should get help. Its quite scary at first but trust me its very very manageable just gather your confidence. good luck

784

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 03 August 2011 - 20:45

I agree with MommyOficially. Your husband has to be all hands on deck esp during the first 2 weeks. also, you must have someone, a mummy, whom you can call at anytime to ask for help as you will have loads of questions. otherwise, just post a question here and there will be loads who will answer and help :) I didn't have a maid, still don't. But DH was really helpful, still is. Good luck S

MommyOficially17027

182

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 03 August 2011 - 20:39

I wish u good luck with it all and hope u get it sorted

MommyOficially17027

182

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 03 August 2011 - 20:38

i never had any help and i managed fine. it depends how much ur hubby is willing to pitch in. since a newborn demands ur full time so i would maybe suggest a part time maid to clean the house like 3 times a week. back home we also indeed have no help and not even maids and mils or mothers also have jobs so that also doesn't work out hehehehe

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