Helper travelling with us - really overstepping the boundaries

Thats the confusing part D.R., she has travelled with us on 2 occasions before and we never had this experience with her. Maybe it's a bit of arrogance on her part and feeling she is indispensable and maybe a little bit of 'showing off' in front of our families. S.A, Babe, for family meals we try to make sure our kids eat with us, but we don't expect them to sit at the table for the duration, particularly while we have a long drawn out lunch, usually it's not a problem, but the excitement of getting together with their cousins makes for some crazy times. Anyway, that one is sorted out now as we have explained that she needs to eat before us, so that she can be available should we need her to help out at any point. CA, that must have been an awful situation for you. Sorry to hear about your friend, it must be dreadful to lose someone in such a manner. I am being a bit unfair really, as she has been a good help with getting settled into our house, it would have been tough to do it without having her around. We have done a few things in the last few days and I have not invited her to join us, while I feel bad about it, I think it's better for all of us not to be living in each others ears. I know there is not enough work to keep her occupied full time, but so be it! I was actually considering sending her back to Dubai early, but DH talked reason and convinced me otherwise, as it is a very nice convenience to have a trusted built in babysitter whenever I need it, and she is being well paid for it. Thanks everyone for all the advice and comments. edited by mum2girls on 11/07/2012 <em>edited by mum2girls on 11/07/2012</em>

Our helper is travelling with us this summer, she has travelled with us on 2 occasions before and has always been fine, but this trip she seems to have totally lost the plot. We went to visit my nieces/nephew and had several bags of gifts for them, she carried some of the bags into the house while I carried the others, she went in first and runs to kiss and hug the kids before me, I'm like WTF, I could see their little heads trying to wriggle away from her and get to me and their cousins !!!, THEN she hands out the gifts to the nieces and nephew, which were gifts from my kids to their cousins, I couldn't believe what I was seeing! Had big family dinner at my in-laws, meeting my SIL's new partner for the first time, next thing our helper grabs a plate and sits down with all of us for dinner. At home she rarely sits with us and prefers to eat in her room. On our other trips she would eat at my IL's or parents kitchen table. Then the cousins gulp down their dinner and run off to play, the kids are so excited to be together and playing crazy. My SIL, hubby and I are up and down from the table intervening with the kids, "be careful' 'don't throw that' 'let the little one's join in', 'don't open the gate' etc. etc. She is sitting there with the family, helping herself to seconds, and does not make a single attempt to get up, until my husband has to ask her if she would 'mind' supervising the kids so SIL and I can finish our dinner and then she can finish eating when we are done. The same day, all the family are sitting outside on the terrace and my little one fell fast asleep, mid-afternoon, we had just arrived the previous day so we were letting her have a nap. Our maid, walked right through the middle of our group, and started to wake up my DD, without even asking me or DH if that was what we wanted. Even when our maid is on top form, she is the least proactive person I have ever met, I mean why start now and why start with a sleeping kid ! DD1 is getting really irritated with her too, I can't count the number of times the kids have asked me something and she will answer or butt in. Three times now in less than a week, DD1 has been punished for being rude to her with comments such as "I was not speaking to you!", "Mom, can you tell X to stop butting in when we are speaking!" last one was "I am speaking to my Mom, it's not your business" said with in a massively irritated and loud tone. Oh and then plonking herself in the garden chatting to my FIL, when it was pretty clear that all he wanted to do was read the newspaper ! She was supposed to be a big help, we are moving into a new house and I thought it would be a great asset to have her. I feel bad leaving her at home when we are heading off, so we always give her the choice, she can have the time off at home or join us and she always decides to come along. I am sure I am doing something wrong along the way to have it get to this point, but have enough hassle with the house move and don't need to be dealing with a cocky maid. Ugh, grant me patience ! <em>edited by mum2girls on 09/07/2012</em>