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Online bullying

13

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 09 June 2015 - 06:20

Hi all,

My daughter has had her pictures posted on an online social messaging site. They were posted without her consent and were to redicule her. This was in an online group created by one of her friends and included about 10 other kids. So only these 11 kids could view them and not the public. All of them are in their early teens. My daughter has been tormented emotionally and her ego is fractured. Kids this age are very sensitive about their looks etc. I am very angry about all this. What do you think should be done? It's tough to grow up in this age.

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109

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 12 June 2015 - 13:14

http://www.beatthecyberbully.ae

2264

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 11 June 2015 - 12:08

Well done to your daughter! Just remember that bullies are insecure cowards most of the time - you stand up to them and they run a mile.

Anonymous (not verified)

0

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 10 June 2015 - 18:28

I agree, don't let your daughter deal with this alone. Too many teenagers have ended their lives because of cyber bullying. I would go to the police and head of school, and demand this is dealt with. Poor girl, must be awful, especially when it involves someone who you think was your friend.

13

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 10 June 2015 - 18:25

Thank you for showing your concern everyone. It really means a lot. My daughter was trying to hide this cyber bullying from me, since it started last week. And she did not know how to respond to it but I had noticed that she was more quiet and edgy at home, unlike herself. And then she didn't want me taking any action....so I asked her to handle it, and that I would help her in any way she wanted me to. So today she went online to this FB group and told them that she would report it to the police if it happened again and demanded an apology. And soon enough she got the apologies. I Just told her that if she was scared that she would not have any friends if she stood up for herself, then it would be better not to have friends like these...I can see the positive change in her already as some friends appreciated her writing this, and I feel it was a good decision to let her do it, rather than me reporting to the school or police. But let's see how this carries on, and I will keep you posted.

58

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 10 June 2015 - 18:11

Sunnysand, Please go to your school with this immediately. Schools really do want us to report these things. Head Teachers can now be held accountable for incidences such as this so its very much so in their best interest too as well as your child's, to sort this out. Research has shown that if not dealt with, things can escalate and become worse. Your child is not old enough to be her own advocate, you need to be that for her, whether she wants this or not. Good luck, its hideous that any child has to suffer this. I often wonder if there is a disproportionately high number of mean children here? Relatives and friends children at home don't seem to suffer as often as friends children here do.

298

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 10 June 2015 - 14:00

Please take this decision away from your daughter and tell the school immediately. It needs to be dealt with professionally so that the girls can be taught how to behave in a civilised manner. This kind of situation can't be dealt with by the victim alone and most schools are very good at giving discrete support. Your daughter may not want to face the problem but I'm sure that she will feel much better once it has been aired. I had a similar episode with DD a few years ago. She tried to hide it from me, lied, and did everything she could to avoid me taking action. But this kind of thing eats away at them, alters their view on the world and she was not the same happy child that we knew and loved. Once we got to the bottom of it, I did tell the school, speak to parents etc and it was dealt with pretty quickly. The relief was incredible and, though it took some time, DD returned to normal. I have no doubt that intervention was the correct thing to do.

458

Posts

EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 10 June 2015 - 10:55

Please do inform the school ASAP. They are, or should be, equipped to handle this and will, or should, take it very seriously. It is natural for your daughter to be concerened about having friends, we were all like that as young girls, but the school is a good solution. The police is backup if they fail to deal with it promptly, effectively and fairly.

sourskittleashnut

984

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 10 June 2015 - 09:58

Please take this online bullying very seriously. There have been far too many cases in the USA and UK of teenagers going into severe depression and even committing suicide because of online bullying. It's a very serious problem that this next generation is facing :(

2264

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 10 June 2015 - 08:48

Report the group to Facebook for bullying and harassment and they will shut it down.

Empress24101543

17

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 09 June 2015 - 21:00

Breaks my heart to read this. Thought "the internet warrior" thing was an adult thing. I agree with the screenshot thing. However i will not take any chances and wait for this to cool off. Please inform the school and the Dubai police. If this escalates beyond this, the police will blame you and this online community for not reporting this. Please read Seven days there is a story like this posted a while ago. Bullies at whatsoever age should not be tolerated.

1601

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 09 June 2015 - 20:01

Thank you so much for all the replies and support. Unfortunately, the incident happened again today and now I am really fuming. But DD does not want me to do anything or to speak to anyone at all. She is concerned that she will not have any friends if I do. I explained to her that this is a crime punishable by law, but she said that she will speak to that friend by herself. All the friends on this online group are in the same school. It really hurts me to see her go thru this. But I don't want to make things more difficult for her either. So I told her that she has to stand up for herself, and confront this poster, and ask her to apologize on the same chatting site. I will update you further later on....it is so challenging to be a parent these days and every one of your opinion and support counts a lot. Thank you. sunnysand unfortunately these are no longer the days of the playground bully. The situation can deteriorate very quickly. Many of these individuals have no problems in destroying young lives, your daughter negotiating with them will only fuel the fire. As Blondie said do a google search about recent bullying cases, there have been two recent cases in Canada with tragic consequences. The only way to stop this in its tracks is it involve the school and or authorities. That way these menaces to society WILL face serious consequences for their actions.

816

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 09 June 2015 - 19:19

First I am so sad this is happening to you. But , you really need to report this. This has potential to have horrific consequences Also I am sure your daughter is not their only victim Yes, victim because that is what she is in this Please stop it at once because it will get worse and other young ones might take it much harder Google some past incidents and you will see how some teens reacted to this devastation

13

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 09 June 2015 - 19:09

Thank you so much for all the replies and support. Unfortunately, the incident happened again today and now I am really fuming. But DD does not want me to do anything or to speak to anyone at all. She is concerned that she will not have any friends if I do. I explained to her that this is a crime punishable by law, but she said that she will speak to that friend by herself. All the friends on this online group are in the same school. It really hurts me to see her go thru this. But I don't want to make things more difficult for her either. So I told her that she has to stand up for herself, and confront this poster, and ask her to apologize on the same chatting site. I will update you further later on....it is so challenging to be a parent these days and every one of your opinion and support counts a lot. Thank you.

1601

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 09 June 2015 - 17:48

sunnysand, so sorry your daughter is the target of bullies. IMHO this type of behaviour has serious long term effects and has to be handled immediately. Suzy's suggestion to take screen shots immediately is wise, I would then go to the school informing them that my next stop would be the police. The UAE has laws to cover this cowardly behaviour, use them. A big hug for your daughter and please let us know how you get on.

203

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 09 June 2015 - 11:40

Take screen shots of everything so you have proof and it is not her word against theirs, which may be used as an excuse for the school/parents not to do anything, which may in turn affect your DD's confidence further. If you know the parents, I would contact them first and only involve the school and the authorities if you find they are not doing anything to try and resolve the issue. If my DD was part of a group doing such things I would be mortified and would prefer to know about it first and she would definitely face consequences and be made to apologise amongst a long list of other things. Sometimes parents do not know this is going on. Massive hugs to you and your DD.

458

Posts

EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 09 June 2015 - 09:57

Given that they are 'children' it's highly unlikely that the police would do anything serious - but what would be good, if the police went and educated them on how their reactions are wrong and the possible consequences of their actions in future. Where are the parents of these horrible kids? A child was locked up in Abu Dhabi recently after a complaint from her teenage friend about this very issue. It was in the news a couple of weeks back. It's not just about that though...it's about helping her daughter and dealing with the issue in a long term way that is sustainable.

Countess Wrinkle

96

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 09 June 2015 - 09:46

Given that they are 'children' it's highly unlikely that the police would do anything serious - but what would be good, if the police went and educated them on how their reactions are wrong and the possible consequences of their actions in future. Where are the parents of these horrible kids? Schools like to deal with these issues and do so well.

Countess Wrinkle

96

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 09 June 2015 - 09:44

I would not go to the police, that is complete overkill. If you know who the girls are and they go to the same school arrange a meeting with the Head of school as soon as possible. The schools here are very good at dealing with this stuff and handle it well, they are experienced at dealing with these situations. The girls will have their parents brought in and a partnership with the school will allow for the situation to be monitored and your daughter will be supported in school. If the girls do not all go to the same school then contact their parents directly and speak to them. Remove your daughter from social media and speak to her about it, you may find that the bullying online is just an extention of bullying in school. Use the school to help you support your daughter.

2264

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 09 June 2015 - 09:40

Given that they are 'children' it's highly unlikely that the police would do anything serious - but what would be good, if the police went and educated them on how their reactions are wrong and the possible consequences of their actions in future. Where are the parents of these horrible kids?

458

Posts

EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 09 June 2015 - 09:17

While I totally agree that this is wrong..and hurtful... Do you really want to go to the police and have them locked up as a first response? Your daughter then has to face her classmates, and everyone else. There are other ways to at least try to fix this matter and also help your daughter at the same time at least as a first port of call. In the slightly longer term these other ways might also do more good (most importantly for your daughter but also for these other kids). The police are an option of course...but a first option, i'm not sure this is wise.

5452

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 09 June 2015 - 09:14

Yes, I agree. Go to the police. It is illegal to post pictures of people without their consent here. These children need to see some consequences for their actions!

2264

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 09 June 2015 - 09:06

Completely illegal! Also goes against facebook rules, so you can report the group directly to them, but the police can actually get involved as posting info about other people without their permission is against the law. What horrible children.

458

Posts

EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 09 June 2015 - 08:31

Are they all from the same school? If so perhaps it would be worth talking to the school administration who could talk to all of these kids at once?

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