Maids with husbands | ExpatWoman.com
 

Maids with husbands

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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 10 July 2013 - 21:24

Hi all, we are considering hiring a new nanny, seems lovely. Her husband is also here. She would live with us. How have other people handled "conjugal" (did i spell that right?) visits? We have two young daughters, and live in a 2+ apartment. My gut says visiting ok, but not crazy about the idea of overnights. Wondering how others have delt with this, have not had a conversation, no idea what her expectations are.
TIA!

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EW GURU
Latest post on 18 July 2013 - 10:46
flydiver11, please clarify who, at Immigration, answered your questions? The reason I ask this is because 3 points are definitely wrong, and so I would like to know.
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EW GURU
Latest post on 18 July 2013 - 10:43
The questions was whether the maid was allowed to bring her husband to stay with her at her sponsor's house. Yes, good thing we can stay focused.
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 17 July 2013 - 11:12
Just to clarify a few points, I have just returned from immigration and asked the following questions myself, so I could be sure I had the correct information. 1. Is it legal for a maid on our sponsorship to live with/or stay her husband if he has accomodation? Answer: yes 2. Is it legal for a maid to be pregnant to her husband? Answer: yes 3. Is it legal for my maid to go home to deliver her baby and return to the UAE to work? Answer: yes 4. If my maid returned from vacation pregnant, and is married, is that legal and can she continue to work here? Answer: yes 5. Would a sponsor be jailed if a maid (married or not) gets pregnant? Answer? No, not unless she said they were the father or claimed rape. 5. Is it legal for me to hold the passport of a maid on my visa against her wishes? answer: no To the OP I would take the legal information that you get on his site lightly. Always check the facts yourself. I personally choose to have a live out maid as I value my privacy. Perhaps she could stay with her husband one night a week instead of him staying with you (if he has accommodation)? Would that make you more comfortable. Especially as you have young girls in he house. Thanks Flydiver, for taking the time to post this. You are confirming what I always thought would be the case, but have doubted since so many posters state the opposite. Too many people try to control their maids life by hiding behind their so-called laws. Am delighted to read this too. Never needed or wanted a maid (much to the horror of my DH's boss's wife who nearly had the vapours when I refused to have one) but many of my former expat friends behaved like Victorian mistresses with theirs which I found downright inhuman.
Anonymous (not verified)
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 17 July 2013 - 10:35
The questions was whether the maid was allowed to bring her husband to stay with her at her sponsor's house.
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 17 July 2013 - 10:26
Just to clarify a few points, I have just returned from immigration and asked the following questions myself, so I could be sure I had the correct information. 1. Is it legal for a maid on our sponsorship to live with/or stay her husband if he has accomodation? Answer: yes 2. Is it legal for a maid to be pregnant to her husband? Answer: yes 3. Is it legal for my maid to go home to deliver her baby and return to the UAE to work? Answer: yes 4. If my maid returned from vacation pregnant, and is married, is that legal and can she continue to work here? Answer: yes 5. Would a sponsor be jailed if a maid (married or not) gets pregnant? Answer? No, not unless she said they were the father or claimed rape. 5. Is it legal for me to hold the passport of a maid on my visa against her wishes? answer: no To the OP I would take the legal information that you get on his site lightly. Always check the facts yourself. I personally choose to have a live out maid as I value my privacy. Perhaps she could stay with her husband one night a week instead of him staying with you (if he has accommodation)? Would that make you more comfortable. Especially as you have young girls in he house. Thanks Flydiver, for taking the time to post this. You are confirming what I always thought would be the case, but have doubted since so many posters state the opposite. Too many people try to control their maids life by hiding behind their so-called laws.
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EW GURU
Latest post on 16 July 2013 - 16:31
Just to clarify a few points, I have just returned from immigration and asked the following questions myself, so I could be sure I had the correct information. 1. Is it legal for a maid on our sponsorship to live with/or stay her husband if he has accomodation? Answer: yes 2. Is it legal for a maid to be pregnant to her husband? Answer: yes 3. Is it legal for my maid to go home to deliver her baby and return to the UAE to work? Answer: yes 4. If my maid returned from vacation pregnant, and is married, is that legal and can she continue to work here? Answer: yes 5. Would a sponsor be jailed if a maid (married or not) gets pregnant? Answer? No, not unless she said they were the father or claimed rape. 5. Is it legal for me to hold the passport of a maid on my visa against her wishes? answer: no To the OP I would take the legal information that you get on his site lightly. Always check the facts yourself. I personally choose to have a live out maid as I value my privacy. Perhaps she could stay with her husband one night a week instead of him staying with you (if he has accommodation)? Would that make you more comfortable. Especially as you have young girls in he house.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 16 July 2013 - 15:32
Passports being held back by an employer is a sensitive issue, but nevertheless it is necessary to see things from all perspective. As the article linked below says if passports are being held for subjugation or any other reason besides as security, then its unacceptable - I would not like my employer to hold my passport, but the reality is that we are in a country where the workforce is primarily expat - so flight risk is a big issue (this is why other countries like Saudi insist on a Exit pass for expats to travel out), therefore if I worked in a hotel or any other roles where I would have access to money / valuables then i would understand my employer would need to take precautions and hold my passport, or in some way be able to prevent me from fleeing the country after committing a crime but instead have me stay back and be prosecuted . Eg. how would the hotel protect itself If a hotel employee 'took' a guests valuables and headed out on the next flight? how would a retail store protect itself is a cashier took the late night flight out with the entire day / weeks cash? about maids, I personally would be less concerned over being able to file an absconding report or banning someone and would not hang on to passports for that reason. or even to force someone to work for me - if someone is not happy working me then how can i force them? i cant keep them locked up! i dont want an 'atmosphere' in the house! but when you have someone without any police verification, permanent address and with no guarantee that the passport is not the 5th one in as many years with a different name on each time (yes it happens) have access to your home and all your hard-earned possessions, pack everything or even few things or just one valuable thing and leave one day when you are at work or away, on the next flight - how would we deal with that? a person does not have to be bad to steal. circumstances force people to do things like this - poverty, desperation, maybe a loan that needs to be repaid, a college fees that needs to be paid etc. I dont see anything wrong in protecting myself and making it harder for someone to steal from me.
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 15 July 2013 - 07:33
If your maid has absconded and has taken her passport with her (this happened to me once) you can still report her to immigration and place a ban on her. You will, however, receive a nice lecture about keeping your domestic staff's passport secure. I had removed my maid's passport from my lockbox because the following day I was going to immigration to renew her visa, meanwhile, she found it, took it, and during the night, ran. so, one will get earful and a lecture, but u can nevertheless, report the absconding of staff to the immigration..
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 15 July 2013 - 07:29
But, it is in writing.and the government is a signatory to the ILO convention. Not to mention no one is required to give up their passport to the employer, as it is not theirs to give up. It is the property of their government. <em>edited by Goose on 15/07/2013</em>
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EW GURU
Latest post on 15 July 2013 - 01:49
Goose, sorry but your probing will not do any good. It is for these reasons that they will never put it in writing. A.Intl are always on their case, but it is best to know that they do have unwritten laws in place.
Anonymous (not verified)
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 14 July 2013 - 21:49
Immigration will always tell you that you should keep a hold of your maids passport. If she absconds and you dont have her passport when you report her, get ready for an ear bashing at immigration. then my next question is, can u still report staff of absconding, even with a copy of the passport, (a maybe certified copy of the said passport) and have immigration process the request? If your maid has absconded and has taken her passport with her (this happened to me once) you can still report her to immigration and place a ban on her. You will, however, receive a nice lecture about keeping your domestic staff's passport secure. I had removed my maid's passport from my lockbox because the following day I was going to immigration to renew her visa, meanwhile, she found it, took it, and during the night, ran.
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 14 July 2013 - 19:55
Immigration will always tell you that you should keep a hold of your maids passport. If she absconds and you dont have her passport when you report her, get ready for an ear bashing at immigration. then my next question is, can u still report staff of absconding, even with a copy of the passport, (a maybe certified copy of the said passport) and have immigration process the request?
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 14 July 2013 - 19:50
found this article. http://www.thenational.ae/news/uae-news/employers-holding-passports-is-legal-grey-area "It will be considered as an illegal action to retain the passport except by governmental parties … in case of retaining passports, there will be a suitable punishment by the law." The UAE is also a signatory to the International Labour Organization's Convention on the Abolition of Forced Labour. The ILO considers withholding passports to be a violation of that convention"
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 14 July 2013 - 19:45
we all talk about this on the board , and it is being repeated "it's the law, immigration says," . All I'm asking to point out the article of the law...that's all. For years, we all read on the EW, how one should confiscate the staffs passport and keep it. I'll try looking it myself for time being, if anyone can quote the specifics, that would be great!
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 14 July 2013 - 09:55
what do you mean it is the law? would you be kind and point out where does it say in the law, and which law refers to days off, for staff employed in the private homes. Other then contract and immigration rules. it is law and if you are to ask at immigration then they will advise you. edited by CrashingWaves on 13/07/2013 Immigration will always tell you that you should keep a hold of your maids passport. If she absconds and you dont have her passport when you report her, get ready for an ear bashing at immigration.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 13 July 2013 - 21:48
Ummm, thanks for the interesting read ladies! Much to think about.
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EW GURU
Latest post on 13 July 2013 - 10:51
what do you mean it is the law? would you be kind and point out where does it say in the law, and which law refers to days off, for staff employed in the private homes. Other then contract and immigration rules. it is law and if you are to ask at immigration then they will advise you. <em>edited by CrashingWaves on 13/07/2013</em>
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EW GURU
Latest post on 13 July 2013 - 10:47
mrsb - you say that sponsors are required by law to hold passports of those they employ. Is this really the case? I find it hard to believe - a passport is the personal possession of the holder, nobody else. Does this 'rule' apply only to domestic servants/labourers and not 'white collar' workers like us and our husbands? This rule applies to Domestic servants and those on block visas. Some companies do it as practice. Many government depts hold passports of their foreign workers.
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 12 July 2013 - 15:11
mrsb - you say that sponsors are required by law to hold passports of those they employ. Is this really the case? I find it hard to believe - a passport is the personal possession of the holder, nobody else. Does this 'rule' apply only to domestic servants/labourers and not 'white collar' workers like us and our husbands?
Anonymous (not verified)
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 12 July 2013 - 13:01
With all due respect Marroush, not giving maids a day off, or not letting them out of the house alone, is mistreatment. I know MANY people who do not let their maids out of the house alone, or give them a day off, it is plain cruelty. These are the same people who trust the maid with their kids, but not to go out, it is beyond baffling to me. It is a basic human right, and please don't say their sponsors are responsible as an excuse, if the sponsor can trust the maid with their child, they should trust them to act in a responsible manner if they want to go to the movies (god forbid!) I am not denying that there are people who do not treat their maids well. Every human being needs time off. However, I don't know if I would allow my maid to go wherever she wants on her day off. I am not sure if you follow the news but many s*xual assault cases happen to women from certain nationalities and as the person fully responsible for my maid I would not like her to be out at night, or at places I don't know. And unfortunately lot of maids have also ruined it for others by getting tempted into things against the law, such as getting pregnant, drinking while they're not allowed to without license. And I will be held accountable by the law if she does anything of if anything happens to her. I don't know the reasons your friends treat their maids they way they do and frankly people who mistreat others would not be someone I'd want to be friends with. And again, you don't know what happens in every house and just because your friends treat their maids in a way you disapprove of, doesn't mean everyone is like them. As a sponsor here of a domestic helper you are 100% responsible and you are expected to make sure your maid stays out of trouble and danger.
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 12 July 2013 - 12:31
what do you mean it is the law? would you be kind and point out where does it say in the law, and which law refers to days off, for staff employed in the private homes. Other then contract and immigration rules.
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EW GURU
Latest post on 12 July 2013 - 12:26
not giving maids a day off, or not letting them out of the house alone, is mistreatment. It is the law. In this country women are protected. Anyway, some people will never understand. I do not understand it when I see pregnant, unmarried teenagers in Europe etc, I wonder why they were not protected more.
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 12 July 2013 - 12:26
I'm not sure to what or whom are u referring to? This person was in the USA, not ME.I wasn't passing a judgment. Just observing how one thing in one country, is defined and governed by law differently, in the other country. Also It could be interesting for those who intend to take staff along with them, whilst visiting home countries. Surely copy of the passport is sufficient for the immigration? I mean, what's the point, if one decides to go away or do a runner, they do it anyways. Passport or not. <em>edited by Goose on 12/07/2013</em>
Anonymous (not verified)
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 12 July 2013 - 12:03
World apart... [i'>The 30-year-old woman was hired in Kenya in 2012 and her passport was taken from her on arrival in Saudi Arabia. She was forced to work excessive hours and was paid less than she was promised and not allowed to leave, authorities said.[/i'> http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/07/10/meshael-alayban-saudi-princess-human-trafficking_n_3576309.html ahem, contract dispute...which brings us back to this thread, and how same thing can be seen differently in different countries. The laws are different in each country and whether we agree with them or not, we must, while living in a country, abide by them. As sponsors, we are responsible for those under our sponsorship. If you have problems with a maid/worker and take it to immigration etc, the first thing they will ask you is "Where is the person's passport?" As sponsors, we are required to hold the passports for all those under our sponsorship.
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 12 July 2013 - 09:12
World apart... [i'>The 30-year-old woman was hired in Kenya in 2012 and her passport was taken from her on arrival in Saudi Arabia. She was forced to work excessive hours and was paid less than she was promised and not allowed to leave, authorities said.[/i'> http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/07/10/meshael-alayban-saudi-princess-human-trafficking_n_3576309.html ahem, contract dispute...which brings us back to this thread, and how same thing can be seen differently in different countries.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 11 July 2013 - 23:33
With all due respect Marroush, not giving maids a day off, or not letting them out of the house alone, is mistreatment. I know MANY people who do not let their maids out of the house alone, or give them a day off, it is plain cruelty. These are the same people who trust the maid with their kids, but not to go out, it is beyond baffling to me. It is a basic human right, and please don't say their sponsors are responsible as an excuse, if the sponsor can trust the maid with their child, they should trust them to act in a responsible manner if they want to go to the movies (god forbid!)
Anonymous (not verified)
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 11 July 2013 - 23:22
So who knows what the law says regarding married maids, their husband and having children here? I don't think women here are willfully mistreating maids, they are just aware that as an employer they are 100% responsible for what she does. And in that case it's good to be cautious. No need to jump in and accuse employers with maids of taking away their rights and mistreating them. You all know exactly what goes on in their homes?
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 11 July 2013 - 23:12
After 11 years living in Dubai I am still amazed by how some people talk about maids and their rights. Suppressing people has gone on since the millennium and only changes with education. So what is wrong with bringing Western values into the equation... Is it because if we did, there would be minimum wages, regulated working hours, days off and basic rights... I realise this doesn't suit some people, but as this country continues to prosper we must take a stance and have decent standards for the way they are treated. Yes, it will cost more, and I embrace it, then the likes of CW can stop harping on and fear-mongreing about husbands being jailed, and people being arrested willy nilly. Our maid has her son stay with us overnight sometimes, is this illegal? If so, I don't care, it is decent and right that he should be allowed. Going back to the OP's original question, and along with what another poster said, my only issue would be that you are in an apartment so your privacy might feel invaded, but if it was only occasional I would have no problem with it. Please let's all of us adopt a kinder approach and ignore the scare stories, they are so infrequent as to be irrelevant....
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EW GURU
Latest post on 11 July 2013 - 14:49
suze63... the alternative being the OP's husband would be jailed till the maid delivers a baby... then of course she would be wiser to get her tested!! Not true !! My maid fell pregnant here, my husband was never questioned or put in Jail, She stayed with us until she was 30 weeks the flew home, she is now back living here with her child (not working for me but a friend) The way some people speak and treat there maids amazes me !! How would you feel if your boss made you do a pregnancy test then sent you home !!! Think some people need a realty check, they are human beings !!! makes me so angry ! Thanks for clearing that bit up. We can misinterpret the law and effectively make out the maid to be some sort of subhuman creature with no right to do things that other "normal" people can do, but that is not right. And sometimes, unfortunately, basic human decency that we were all (I 'd like to think) taught is put down as "western values" which we cannot use. <em>edited by Arch on 11/07/2013</em>
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 11 July 2013 - 14:39
suze63... the alternative being the OP's husband would be jailed till the maid delivers a baby... then of course she would be wiser to get her tested!! Not true !! My maid fell pregnant here, my husband was never questioned or put in Jail, She stayed with us until she was 30 weeks the flew home, she is now back living here with her child (not working for me but a friend) The way some people speak and treat there maids amazes me !! How would you feel if your boss made you do a pregnancy test then sent you home !!! Think some people need a realty check, they are human beings !!! makes me so angry !
 
 

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