just want to express my sadness and frustration

I agree with MarinaMelanie, check out http://www.saveoursleep.com.au/ , different for every mummy out there but I did Tizzie's method since my little 10 month old was 4 weeks old and she has slept through since 10 weeks old. The book is seriously my bible and was suggested to me by another mummy. Good luck babe, sending lots of positive and happy thoughts your way, don't worry there is a light at the end of the tunnel!!!!! ;oD

Order yourself a copy of Save Our Sleep by Tizzie Hall. Sleep is a science in itself. Don't worry, baby will be fine! x

: ( i remember those momentsi found my daughter was a little gassy and i changed what i ate ant that helped with her sleeping, no chocolate, only a cup of coffe in the morning, and no gassy leafy greens, legumes and even milk, but i i can eat anything now i just gave all that up for the first 3 months. also do you have an exercise ball or birthing ball? o found that bouncing my daughter on that worked miracles! same with wearing her in her wrap and walking around, blow drying my hair or vacuuming. also i noticed if i had a lot of visitors or she had an exciting day, the "over stimulation" really wacked out her sleeping schedule, especially in the day. but after about 2 months she started making her own schedule and also went through growth spurts pay attention to her signs, and she may be trying to adjust to her own personal schedule, annnnd she may just be going through a growth spur, those tended to make mr cry cause my daughter would not sleep for like 3 days as she normally did, and she would need to breast feed like for 10 min every 20 min... agghhh it was so hard. just keep in there every mommy goes through this, and if your gut says there is something wrong check it out, but if you feel this is just a phase it most likely is. sorry if there is a lot of misspelling and bad grammer i am typing with one hand and a nursing baby.. lol...

I have a five week old who is now sleeping through the night and I think the secret is to feed them really well during the day and make sure they go to sleep on a full tummy. So that's what I've been doing wrong for the last 7 and a half months!!!! <note to bad mummy... remember to feed baby during the day> lol- indeed! Seriously though, small babies simply don't have to storage capacity to last them through the night, so feeding them up during the day will have little effect, nor will "topping them up" with formula. All babies are different - some sleep through early, some don't. It's more developmental than anything else.

I have a five week old who is now sleeping through the night and I think the secret is to feed them really well during the day and make sure they go to sleep on a full tummy. So that's what I've been doing wrong for the last 7 and a half months!!!! <note to bad mummy... remember to feed baby during the day>

My baby only ever suckled for 5 minutes and she's perfectly healthy. They call it "efficient feeders" so that's one thumbs up for you and well done for breastfeeding successfully so far. About the sleep, after 4 kids I have eventually come to this conclusion - when they are under 4 months, try not to form "bad" habits, but do whatever it takes to get your baby to sleep, dummy, rocking, swaddling, letting them fall asleep on your chest, tie them to you (a sure no fail method). And if they still won't sleep, don't beat yourself up about it. I hope you do ok. At 3 months you will emerge from the "baby fog" and it won't seem quite so bad anymore I promise. And whatever bad habits you have formed can always be undone. Sometimes the sanity of the mum needs to be first priority! Hugs your way.xxx great advice, just get through this stage and worry about "habits" later. NadiaA, I agree a "content" baby isn't crying, but its not necc hunger, some newborns struggle with stimulation and can be very hard to settle/sleep this is medically defined as "colic" (although a lot of people use this term to refer to a gassy baby and any baby who cries a lot us likely to end up gassy as a result) and pretty much it seems to be a developmental brain thing, they do grow out of it, all you can do is soothe them as best you can and realise it is not your "fault" or "failure" if you can't stop the crying. some babies feed efficiently, others snack little and often and others don't latch well enough to get the milk flowwing, so seeing an LC should help you find out which your is. take care xx

My 7 mo DS never sleeps through the night, and always wakes at 4-5am for a milk snack. I BF and pop him back in his cot. It is unrealistic to expect a newborn to sleep through the night, so do not put unnecessary pressure on yourself. I agree with PP - swaddle your baby at this age and make sure he is not too hot/too cold. Sleep when your baby sleeps in the day, so you are not so exhausted in the night time!

I've been following this thread actively as I have a three week old and the advice from mums is invaluable. Up until two nights ago, DD was falling asleep promptly by 10.30pm and waking once in the night before stirring at about 6am. Then her appetite increased and I assume she is going through a growth spurt which is bringing colic on. I am bottle feeding her so I know she is eating well. Kie, my baby slept poorly last night and almost 100% following the times you mention in your post below. She was also thrashing her arms and legs around. I had the worst sleep last night since the baby was born and am at a loss to explain why all of a sudden her routine would change. She protested when I swaddled her whereas normally she would calm down quite quickly. She also spent the night making grunting noises and smacking her lips but there was no possetting. She seemed to calm down this morning after doing a poop so it's possible that she had tummy problems at night.

I have a five week old who is now sleeping through the night and I think the secret is to feed them really well during the day and make sure they go to sleep on a full tummy. I'm breastfeeding but I express at least three bottles for the day (5oz each) and one for bedtime. At other times during the day, I latch him on but because he gets most ofhis intake from the bottle, we don't run into other issues such as sleep problems. Content babies don't cry for half hour stetches or even ten mins I would say - your little one is definitely in need of someting and is calling out to you. I would do the needful now and not worry about future associations. You should also keep an eye on the weight gain as that'll tell how well the baby is feeding. Hope things work out real soon for you guys. x

I once had a "health professional" advise me to let my DD cry it out, adding that even if she was physically sick, that was normal and I shouldn't give in! o_O Orly?! Imo, that train of thought is only one step away from locking them in the cupboard when they're naughty. Kie, as others have said, do what it takes. If a sling/ carrier is what it takes, then fantastic - do it. There's no automatic or guaranteed habit-forming - some will, some won't. One of my friend's had to carry her son in a carrier for most of the first 6 months of his life during the day, but he's not clingy, not needy and can most definitely fall asleep on his own! Looking at last night's sleep, what happened in the 3h30 between 10h and when she fell asleep next? I would imagine 30mins to 1h for feeding/ burping, but I used to be able to do it in about 15-20 minutes (efficient feeders rock!) and you have said your baby doesn't feed for long either. It sounds like she's skipping a whole sleep cycle, in which case she must be coming out of it, playing/ being active for a bit and then going back to sleep at the start of the next one.

Sack that paediatrician. Seven weeks is far too tiny to even [i'>think[/i'> about letting her cry! Babies take a little while to settle themselves into any kind of routine and she's probably still trying to work out what's daytime and what's night-time, and when she's meant to be asleep. At that age, I'd say she can only stay up for a max of an hour and a half at a time and maybe even less until she's well-rested. And of course, you're only just getting to know her as a mini-individual and it'll take a while for you to work out what she needs and when (DS is 13 months now and some days I still get it totally wrong). And honestly, some babies are just efficient little suckers :D. DS never fed for more than ten minutes at a stretch and after reading the lovely Gina Ford when he was four weeks old, I convinced myself there was no way he was getting a proper feed in that time so I worked myself up into a right state. Same as H.A.K's two, he was right up there on the charts and the chances of him being underfed were ridiculously non-existent! I so hope you manage to find a good paediatrician who'll put your mind at rest. Why not pop along to a breastfeeding meeting if you can (and they're still running over the summer?). And have a chat with a lactation consultant if possible. BFC on here offers lovely, reassuring advice and I'm sure will be happy to help you. She really is a Godsend. And as Aryanwynn says, apparently babies under four months don't learn 'bad habits' so if she sleeps best tucked under your chin, go for it. I once fell asleep with DS snoring on my chest and woke up to find my chin had left a dent in the top of his head - I was utterly convinced I'd broken him! :D ETA: And try swaddling. I thought DS didn't like it to start with so I gave up, but when I realised it wasn't him flailing around because he didn't like it - it was a natural reflex - I had another go and he slept much better. <em>edited by DubaiCat on 16/07/2011</em>

My baby only ever suckled for 5 minutes and she's perfectly healthy. They call it "efficient feeders" so that's one thumbs up for you and well done for breastfeeding successfully so far. About the sleep, after 4 kids I have eventually come to this conclusion - when they are under 4 months, try not to form "bad" habits, but do whatever it takes to get your baby to sleep, dummy, rocking, swaddling, letting them fall asleep on your chest, tie them to you (a sure no fail method). And if they still won't sleep, don't beat yourself up about it. I hope you do ok. At 3 months you will emerge from the "baby fog" and it won't seem quite so bad anymore I promise. And whatever bad habits you have formed can always be undone. Sometimes the sanity of the mum needs to be first priority! Hugs your way.xxx

I would still try swaddling even if she resists it, you might still find that once she is swaddled, she calms and sleeps better, make sure she is not too hot though.

Def don't go back to that pediatrician, that is terrible advice to give regarding a newborn, I am surprised a Dr would give it. :(, it is normal for her to still need to wake very few hours for feeding at this age. I wonder if that pediatrician is actually a mother, or has just read that in a book? You might like to read the link below, just incase you are too tired too ;), I have copied a part from it that might help you if you are rocking her to sleep... "if your newborn falls asleep in your arms, don’t attempt to put him down until he has achieved the quiet state of newborn sleep. Remember that babies begin each sleep cycle in active sleep, during which time they may flutter their eyelids, breathe irregularly, and twitch. Babies remain in active sleep for about 25 minutes, and if you try to move them during this period they are likely to awaken" http://www.parentingscience.com/newborn-sleep.html

I haven't read all the other replies so my apologies if I repeat what others have already said. What we did with my DS since the first night was to keep him in a quiet room with the lights dimmed after 7 or 8pm, only whisper when talking to him and basically keep things fairly boring. When feeding, nappy changing, soothing him etc. just use the minimum light you need to get by and be as quiet as you can. He got the day/night message pretty quickly. Even when waking at night, he has always settled back to sleep pretty quickly.... It took me a lot longer to get the hang of daytime sleep though. My DS used to take mini cat naps pretty much constantly, anywhere, anytime until he was about 4 months old. But he never slept for more than 15 mins at a time during the day. I thought this was normal and to be honest it was quite convenient. Then one day I came across an article detailing the signs of tiredness and realised I have been letting my DS get overtired every day. From then on I started putting him down in his cot as soon as he rubbed his eyes or yawned for the first time, or started getting cranky (when I knew he wasn't hungry). He became a much happier baby within days.

As others have said, try and put her to sleep well before she seems tired, if she is a really restless baby you could always try one of those mechanical rocking swings, they seem to work well for some people. Try and give her a chance to nap after an hour or hour and half of being up, have naps in a dark room, you can even try white noise, we used the sound of our hairdryer a few times when DS went through a really unsettled patch at around 6-7 weeks old, it was mazing how well it worked and you can even download sounds like that to play through an ipod. Also swaddling seems a really good way to calm them for sleep. See a lactation consultant and make sure she is latching properly, she might not be and so the milk is coming too slow and she gets bored and stops sucking, worth checking out but she might just be the kind of baby that likes to take small feeds more often, try feeding her just as she wakes up from a nap so she is not too tired to drink. I would make sure she is feeding well before giving a dummy if you can. I have definitely had moments of crying into my pillow at night :( I think especially when my son was around that age, you just get to your peak of tiredness right around the same time as they get to their peak of crying and it all seems too hard, just remember, you are doing a wonderful job and it is ok to ask for help. Your baby will start smiling at you in the next few weeks, it all starts to feel worthwhile when that happens.! take care Emma

Hi Kie, So sorry to hear that..but chin up mummy.. it will get better. like other posters say, have a nice bath for littlen, then oil her.. i wonder if you swaddle your DD? maybe that will help? S

Hi Kie Wow - it's almost like I could have written your post 14 years ago. My DD was the worst sleeper, night and day. During the day she would nap for about 15 minutes on her own, but if I held her or slept with her, she would sleep for an hour or more. At night, I would go through the routine, bath, massage, book, boob and bedtime. She would sleep for about 20 minutes and then start wailing, from 7pm to about 10pm (it's called the "witching hour"). Nothing I could do helped. She would finally tire herself out and fall asleep. It was around the 7 week mark that this happened. My doctor said she was abit colicky and there's not much you can do about it (do they sell gripe water here, that used to help abit, colick is gas in the tummy and the gripe water is made from anise and it helps with digestion and gas), just find what she likes and ride it out (my friends used to take their kids for midnight car rides to make the kids sleep, I used to just walk the house and bounce my DD) - the good news is that it doesn't last forever. I didn't use a pacifier when she was that small - check with your doctor, but if you are saying that you are having abit of trouble feeding, the pacifier may mix her up - baby needs to be on a good feed routine before using one. I agree with checking what your eating as well, peppers, cucumbers, broccoli, beans (chick, lentil, fava, etc) may cause gas in your baby's belly. My DD wasn't the greatest sleeper as she got older either, but my other 2 kids were so different. I was shocked at how easily they went to sleep at night so each kiddie is different and not always difficult :) Have hope and definitely ask your hubby to take a shift for a few hours to help you get some sleep - lack of sleep is the worst thing and makes everything seem so much worse. Big hugs to you, just know it does end - I always say the first 3 months of a babies life is so hard on the parents and the baby - there is so much to get adjusted to for both of you. xxx

. Anyhow, one evening I had put him in his cot while I bathed DD. The curtains were drawn and by the time I'd finished putting her to bed, it was 19h and the room was dark. DS was fast asleep, so I left him there. He woke up at 23h for a feed, and went straight back to sleep. I did exactly the same thing with him the next day and it was the same story... we've never looked back. In fact, he's always (since) been easier to put to bed than DD! Agree with that. My DD goes to bed by 6pm. And then wakes at 6am thank to her older brothers noisy wake up. Yes she has a short routine too.. wash, diaper change, feed, burp, kiss, sleep. Yes, she dos get a coupla feeds at night.. but she doesnt wae wide up.. just a whine and i stick to b00b in and we both sleep. But yes, i read somewhere, that babies get tired v easily.. and very early lik 5,6,7pm or there abts..

before going down the colic route, really try and see if it is just overtiredness. The first 6 weeks with DS were horrid... hellish and dark, tbh. I did exactly the same with him as I had with DD - kept him down with me in the lounge of an evening so that I could feed him as often as I liked. Of course, I watched telly, had the lights on and just normal things. He screamed to the point of hyperventilating every single evening from 19h30 until 1h or 3h in the morning. I would try and feed him, burp him, give him Infacol, cuddle him, rock him, try feeding him again, burp him, walk up and down singing to him... walk out of the room for 5 minutes to calm down... nothing stopped it. I ended up being able to fall asleep with him screaming in my ear - I was that drained. Anyhow, one evening I had put him in his cot while I bathed DD. The curtains were drawn and by the time I'd finished putting her to bed, it was 19h and the room was dark. DS was fast asleep, so I left him there. He woke up at 23h for a feed, and went straight back to sleep. I did exactly the same thing with him the next day and it was the same story... we've never looked back. In fact, he's always (since) been easier to put to bed than DD!

Hugs to you Kie. Maybe your little one is going through a growth spurt, or if she's only feeding for 5 to 10mins at a time it could be that she's only getting the foremilk which could be making her windy. It may be an idea for you to express a little milk so that she gets the hindmilk which will fill her up for longer. As cheeky monkey has said I'd get in touch with a lactation specialist and as the other's have said don't be too hard on yourself. Good luck.

Just a thought, but could you be drinking or eating something that would have an affect on her sleep? My niece would sleep briefly after being fed and was in general a cranky baby from lack of sleep. I spent a day with SIL and noticed that she was drinking tea and I suggested that she reduce her intake and drink tea only after feeding the baby. Apparently the caffeine was being passed to baby. When SIL did as suggested the problems disappeared.

I just want to express my sadness and frustration. My seven-week old baby does not sleep enough at day time and in the evening it is almost 1 or 2 or 3 when she gets settled and sleep. My baby cant sleep on her own yet. Im breastfeeding her and unfortunately she only latch for 5 - 10 mins. I am crying as I am writing this post. It is just really heartbreaking for me to see my baby so sleepy but can get to sleep. Aww, hun! First and foremost, just because she only latches for 5-10 minutes doesn't mean to say that you're doing anything wrong or that there's anything to worry about - if she's still putting on weight and is otherwise happy, then you're doing just fine. Neither of my two would feed for more than 10-15 minutes and they both hugged the 91st centile like troopers! Secondly, regarding the sleep, take it right back to basics. 7 weeks is still young for sleep training, but there are little things you can try and crack. One of the most important is to learn to recognise her sleep cues - she may grizzle, rub her eyes or ears, yawn, blink that little bit longer than usual... anything - and put her down for a nap as soon as you see one. With my son, if I put him down as soon as he yawned, he would be asleep within minutes... if I missed the slot, well, I missed it! Don't wake her for feeding or because you may think she's had enough sleep - rested babies sleep better and overtired babies (as you're experiencing) don't. Think about your bedtime routine with her. If you haven't got one, start it. Bath, book, boob and bed (copyrighted!), same order, same time, every night. I don't know when she wakes in the morning, or when you start trying to put her to bed at night, but a good rule of thumb seems to be around 12h after they've got up for the day. If she fusses or wakes during the night, keep everything in night-time mode - keep the lights dimmed, noise and interaction to a minimum and certainly no more playing. In amongst all this, look after yourself. Talk to your husband whenever you feel the need and if he's a bit reluctant to either listen or to help you, gently remind him that it took two to tango and so two will get through this! Good luck. Getting to know your baby can be tricky and frustrating - we forget that even though we gave birth to them, we really don't know them as a person, we have to wait for them to let us know what makes them tick! Whatever happened to the happy skipping through pink candyfloss type scenario?! Gar - motherhood would be so much easier without having babies around!

Maybe you need to get some help..ie, a post natal doula or a breastfeeding consultant? My 5 month old sleeps a lot more than that! And just for your info, i have trained my 5 month old whose my second child to fall asleep herself, without me, and she takes about 20mins to do so. After feeding her, i burp her and make sure all the dgassy is out and then a kiss and i just move away from the bed.. she dos wriggle a bit, sometimes a tiny whine.. but she does fall asleep. Ofcourse, I do go to her if she cries.. and she does if she has a burp left in her.. So maybe u can try that out.. give your baby some time to fall asleep and also to learn to fall asleep herself.. Good luck! I know how tired you must be feeling..

Kie I feel for you, it sounds like you also need a good night's sleep! I'm no expert but as a mum of three I know what you're going through. Do you think your baby is getting enough milk? Speaking from my own experience I know all of mine, though they all have very different personalities, were sleeping a lot at 7 weeks. And they were feeding for 20-30 mins minimum at each feed! The only thing that would make them unsettled would be if they were not "winded" properly or if they were hungry. Have you tried offering her more milk after she's been fed and winded? Mine usually would take more milk. I know a lot of people don't like pacifiers but that might also be an option, it realy helped me a lot and I'm sure it also helped with them sleeping over 6 hours at night when they were 6 weeks old. I hope you feel better soon and your baby gets to eat and sleep more.

May be she is hungry or suffering with colic that she is unable to sleep. May be you need to give her bottle feed if she is not drinking enough from you. Every child behaves differently I had tough time with my twin boys for a very long time. They took turns...one will sleep and the other one would wake up. Once upon a time (I am talking few years back) I was only able to sleep for not for than two to three hours in the entire 24 hours. So have patience. Take care and trust me everything will settle soon.

Aw Kie, please don't be sad, big hugs to you. First of all, just go and have a little look at that beautiful little baby you just created and smile, everything else can be sorted!! With regards to sleep, every little one sleeps differently and have their own patterns. Do you mean you think she may be hungry or something? It may be worth getting her checked out by a doctor if you think something may be wrong with her and set your mind at ease. With regards to the breast feeding, don't beat yourself up about it. I know everyone thinks it is the be all and end all of having a baby, and should be the most easy, natural thing in the world and it should be, but in reality it really isn't always. I really struggled breast feeding and hated it, I used to express and give it to my LO in a bottle and we were both very happy doing it that way. But before you think about doing that, speak to a lactation specialist, I am sure the lovely ladies on here can give a recent recommendation, it may be that you need a little bit of help with your seating position and latching position, my friend saw how much I was struggling and got hers to come and see me as I was such a mess and she did help a lot, but in the end me and my LO found our own way to do things!! Now, take a deep breath, try to relax and things will all sort themselves out with a bit of help and support!