A toddler and a newborn - when does it get easier?! | Page 2 | ExpatWoman.com
 

A toddler and a newborn - when does it get easier?!

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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 17 January 2012 - 22:06
haha People keep on saying to me, 'bet you wish you could just have the baby now' ... errrrr no, I am hoping she will hang in there to 42 weeks thanks!! I have it great at the moment, just one (very spirited DS), and the other is fully taken care of, without me having to lift a finger or do anything special at all - I can't leave her anywhere, forget to do something for her, and (of course) I don't have to juggle both hers and DS's needs at the one time... Besides, DS was far too small when he arrived.. I would love a chubby and more robust baby this time around -so she can keep on cooking for a while yet!! I was actually thinking the other day, I wish someone had told me to really embrace those spontaneous moments you can have when you are pregnant for the first time and have no children - you know, going to dinner or a movie whenever you want to, or jumping on a plane or in the car to go away for a weekend. I have been trying to think if there are any things we should be taking advantage of over the next few weeks that we can do with one child, that we won't be able to do with two.... apart from the obvious one-on-one time with DS.... I don't want to realise more missed opportunities after she has arrived! Sorry.. I have wandered off onto another topic entirely!
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 17 January 2012 - 21:46
I found my second pregnancy went far, far quicker than my first. Probably because I was rushed off my feet all the time with DS. If only I could go back to the early days of just one and slap myself silly for not realising how easy I had it! ETA: That's the second time today I've thought something like that. I was discussing post-baby bodies with a friend and said I wished I'd appreciated the body I had then.... <em>edited by DubaiCat on 17/01/2012</em>
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 17 January 2012 - 21:39
(has the font just changed on EW??) TanyaR - wow, that has been quick, wishing you all the VERY best and let us know if you need anything (we are missing you you know where ;) ) - hope all is well with you and all the best!! bm.x Thanks! You are telling me - so, so quickly - coming up to 34 weeks, and given DS delivered at 36, I feel the clock is ticking! And apologies I will resurrect myself shortly! Have been largely MIA with working full time (very long hours), having the teenager issues for 3 months, being preggers, and moving villas. Anyway, I have just finished working .. so will resume my forum duties! xxx
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 17 January 2012 - 20:33
My two DD are 20 months apart and I found it got a lot easier when the youngest turned one. They are both Gina Ford babies. I didn't follow it exactly but it gave me a guideline and lots of helpful tips. Best tip I was given, buy a few music boxes. I used them to settle my toddler back to sleep if the baby woke her at night and used it in the day to entertain her while I breastfed <em>edited by Mojodally on 17/01/2012</em>
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 17 January 2012 - 20:29
Then DH walked in and asked if I'd mind if he played in a football tournament all day on Saturday. A true master of comic timing! I did find though that what really helped was a teensy bit of preparation and certain non-negotiable timings. Mealtimes were always crunch points, so i made sure there were toddler portions ready to microwave and perfected the 5-minute meal. Bedtime was absolutely Do Not Pass Go. DS at 18h30 and DD at 19h, come rain, shine, Dh or shenanigans. Anyhow, so i guess my days were actually quite regimented, although mornings and afternoons remained flexible to allow for naps, playdates and life in general!
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 17 January 2012 - 20:11
When DD's two? HUH?! I like your explanation, Green-ish. I've had one day so far when I've felt slightly less like the situation is spiralling rapidly out of control than most days, and I think that's good going for 11 weeks :D. It's just so hard when DD is screaming her head off, and she seems to spend an awful lot of time doing that :(. The two times I did get her down for a nap today she only slept for 30-40 minutes, and I know that's not enough. So aside from her two micro-naps, she spent most of today screaming at me and her big brother spent most of the day thinking up new ways to misbehave while I was busy trying to get his sister to stop screaming. Then DH walked in and asked if I'd mind if he played in a football tournament all day on Saturday.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 17 January 2012 - 20:09
DC, I hear you! DD is 19.5 months and DS is 9 weeks. With DD we followed her cues. We did not establish routine and we had a major problems with her sleeping pattern (until recently!). I did not have any plan re. DS and his routine, but it became unbearable not to have any kind of a routine with two under two and I resorted to dreaded Gina Ford. I have bought her two books, read them and she is not what I expected... and I expected this evil woman who advocates CIO. No, she does not! I bought Contented Little Baby and Toddlers Years - both books give tons of advice and schedules, which you may or may not follow. I do follow them loosly and used techniques for establishing DD bedtime routines. Worked like a charm. I think the structure suggested in her books helped ME to have my day under control. She even puts things like 'have lunch' or 'have drink a big glass of water'. I know it all is a no-brainer, but it is great to be reminded about this basic things! Good luck!
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 17 January 2012 - 17:42
Hey ho in for a penny in for a pound Lol :-) It really is very much a case of that... mine are 21 months apart and looking back, it was properly hardcore - I've never had a nanny and the first 3 months of DS's life, I was doing it solo in the UK. Quite how I didn't turn to drink amazes me. The theory that at least you pass from one to the other without "losing touch" or "getting used to having it easy" is good... in theory. Personally, I would have liked to have a break, because as it stands, I just feel as if I've had 4.5 years of nappies and tantrums. BUT, when I do call SAHMing a day, both kids will be at school (DS will be in the year below DD), so I won't have to deal with any possible guilt of leaving DS at a far younger age, etc... I don't know if there's a better or worse scenario. To be brutally honest, you deal with the hand you're given and that's pretty much that. Planning to have them super close together is nuts though. I have a friend who's expecting her 3rd and her eldest is 2.5, youngest 15 months (ish) and yes, 3rd due in a few months' time. I've told her I think she's a complete raving nutter, but she has lots of family nearby, a great support network and a hubby with a flexible job, so hey, she's a very lucky lady.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 17 January 2012 - 16:11
I wish I hadn't opened this thread now - gulp. I have 13 weeks to go before no 2 arrives and DD will be 16 months. Hey ho in for a penny in for a pound Lol :-)
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EW GURU
Latest post on 17 January 2012 - 16:09
(has the font just changed on EW??) DC - hugs to you. Don't forget that you are juggling a LOT when if you think if you were at 'home' you would have grannies/aunties etc round the corner. Maybe it would be a good time to think about getting some permanent help so you can have an hour or two on your own, or with one or other of the LO's so you don't feel like you are constantly having to juggle everything. I'm sure you are doing a brilliant job. TanyaR - wow, that has been quick, wishing you all the VERY best and let us know if you need anything (we are missing you you know where ;) ) - hope all is well with you and all the best!! bm.x
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EW GURU
Latest post on 17 January 2012 - 16:04
OMG, someone please tell me why family and friends keep advising me to have the 2nd soon because then you'll be over the hellish years sooner and wont have to do the same (no late night dinners, no movies, etc etc) stuff twice over from scratch.... I get all that, but I keep thiking if i'll get out of it alive...lol :)
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 17 January 2012 - 16:04
Hi DC. :) My first two are 20 months apart. For me, things felt a little less out of control by the time number two was three months old, far less out of control when she was six months old, and almost under control by the time she was 12 months. :) The first year is the hardest...I know a year sounds like an appallingly looooooooong stretch of time when you're at the start of it, but soon you will find yourself having a few great days, then a few great weeks, then suddenly DD will be walking around playing with her big brother and you'll realise it IS all getting easier. xx
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 17 January 2012 - 15:57
Well, you could say it's a process of constantly getting better (that's the positive outlook), but I'd say the cut-off of you looking back and actually saying "yes, it's definitely easier now" starts when your youngest has grown out of tantrums. DS is 2.5 now... and it's definitely getting easier. It'll be much easier in September... when DD starts school and she'll be 5! hahahaa haha ha ha [cough'> Seemed like a good idea at the time, didn't it?! <em>edited by Hello.Again.Kitty on 17/01/2012</em>
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 17 January 2012 - 15:04
Sorry DC, I can't help at all, but I am watching this thread very closely.... I remember that even though I only had the one to run around after first time around that I kept on missing his sleep signals - in fact, I am embarassed to recall, it took me about 4-5 weeks to realise that I had to actually physically put him down for a nap, and that he wouldn't just drop off wherever we were if he was tired! Am about to have DD, and DS is just about to turn 2 - so definitely in need of the tips as well! But I am definitely hoping it 'stablise' well before DD is 2 otherwise I might go mad!
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 17 January 2012 - 13:39
Things will probably stabilize when your DD is about two.
 
 

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