Nursery threatening to expel my 2 year old

that sounds like a great book - I'm going to order it right now! I recognise my son in this description - highly sensitive, bright, observant, but acts up when in uncomfortable environment, can't bear things too noisy. Have had him anaylsed (for want of a better word, for that is how it felt to me) for ASD/autism but drew a blank (question mark rather than told no he isn't) so I am always intrigued by books offering me an insight. I love my son to pieces and he's a fantastic kid, but often do get the feeling other parents don't have to think around things as much as I do, make changes to lifestyle to accommodate sensitivities and behaviour. Mostly we get on just fine but some days I am literally exhausted from having to think about it all so much. Also had struggles at nursery early on - not aggressive behaviour, the opposite really - quiet and not socialising or talking, but it all turned around at a different school. Kids are so in tune with their environment - your boy sounds like he's perceptive and bright. They make negative associations with places where they get the feeling they aren't with people who respect who they are, and act up accordingly (he's only small after all, and some adults wouldn't be able to articulate that feeling all that well). Boys often need some time and a gentle approach to transitional situations like saying goodbye at nursery. I find a good routine/ritual always helps - keep consistent, use rewards, get nursery on board. If they are happy to criticise but seem unwilling to actually help in some positive way, then it's not a good match. Plenty of others out there which will be better suited. Kids are individuals and not all pegs will fit into square holes. Good luck and God bless

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As others have said, set aside how bright your child may be - that is not the issue here! His anti-social behaviour and how the nursery are dealing with it are. At 2 years old, if he's unhappy, it will manifest physically... and that's what he's doing. It's not fair on the other children in his class to let this situation continue, and most importantly not fair on him. He really doesn't need to be at nursery as "training" for school (is he really going to be starting school at 3?!) if his nursery experience is going to be negative... because you can bet your bottom dollar he will carry that with him to school. Boys in particular are disadvantaged if they start school too young (in terms of maturity, not in terms of how much of the alphabet they can recite) and so it is of the utmost importance that, as a parent, you ensure that all of his schooling experience is positive and happy... even if that means no nursery and/or starting later. Back to the behaviour. My DD hit when she was 2. My 2 year old son is going through a hitting phase. It's apparently developmental because at 2, they don't yet have the maturity to fully understand and communicate their emotions. It therefore falls to you and to whoever else cares for your son to give him the tools to do so - give him the correct alternative. Telling him off or sending him to the naughty corner without explaining what he did wrong and how he should have gone about it is like saying "shut up! I'm not interested in what you have to say!"... I assume that my children are as spirited as I am, and I know full well that if I was trying to say something I thought important and someone replied with a flat "shut up", the conversation certainly wouldn't end there! You need to therefore think carefully about how you are addressing this and even if he doesn't have this issue at home, are you still reinforcing the idea of correct means of communication. Don't forget that toddlers are sponges and will observe your behaviour and interaction. You also need to discuss how the school is actually trying to tackle this, not as "it's their problem", but as a united front. Quite often the more established places are a bit more set in their ways - a one-size-fits-none - and are unable to really meet the child's needs, in which case, it's not the child's problem, but the school's. I guess my DD could be called "spirited" - I call it by several different names, most of which shouldn't be repeated. As a baby her eyes had so many expressions, it was uncanny. Her tantrum phase started when she was 13 months old and finished when she was 3.5, despite me properly ignoring her behaviour throughout. They finally finished when I stopped ignoring her and actually listened to what she wanted to say. This is also the little girl who took 14 months to potty train... not because she couldn't, but because she needed to get there all by herself. She's now 4, going on 14 and at nursery the secret to taming her is to give her responsibility - and as long as she's not bored, she's great with other children. I am lucky enough to have found a nursery with teachers who've worked this out and can do so without any favouritism. Point is, at this age, you have the liberty to find a setting that fits the child, rather than shoe-horning the child into an environment that doesn't suit.

There is a book called Raising your Spirited Child. A high spirited child is extreme.. he doesn't walk, he runs. He doesn't cry, he screams. He is super observant to the most minor details and extremely sensitive to the tiniest of things. They need to find a space, get a breather from some things..i.e. an introverted high spirited child, needs time to be by himself, to regroup, to have some piece. A noisy playground can send the poor kid insane. he gets to a point that he just can;t take the noise anymore, and so reacts to a tiny thing that makes him look like he is naughty.But his naughty act sends him to the naughty corner where, guess what, he has some silence and he has some time to regroup. My friend has to closely monitor her child at b parties, or amusement parks because he starts to get frustrated and acts out. By recognizing his needs, you can better manage his environment. Johnny, I can see that you are getting a bit anxious, how about we go outside for a while and read a book/get some fresh air and come back where we are at peace. This is a very pitiful summary, but we can teach these spirited kids to control their emotions, once they recognise them, and the teachers/parents alike play an important role also in leanring to recognise a child's needs. I now know when my DD is reaching her red zone and I react according - since then we have avoided soooo many meltdowns and everyone is much happier. They also say the a high spirited child usually has a high spirited parent...when I analysed myself, I was too. So by using my own experiences, and knowing how I feel about certain situations, I was able to anticipate exactly how DD was feeling - and I could stop it. This may or may not be the case, but consider it. If you think your child may be high spirited, by the book and learn some really great techniques to give you all some peace. BTW - those who do not have these spirited children will probably just tell you that your child is naughty - why? because they don't understand because they don't live with the pressures of raising such a child... oh how often did I get jealous when I saw a young toddler sitting their quietly while Mum did this and that... Best of luck to you... How do you decide what is bad behaviour and how do you correct that with this method please. Hi DGIT - not sure that I could completely describe it all here, and I haven't touched the book now in the last 3 years. Essentially it is a process because the most important thing is to understand how your child functions. I think deep down as a parent you would know if your child is spirited or if just plain naughty. I think you know from birth! I did... They are MORE everything - The spirited child — often called "difficult" or "strong-willed" — can easily overwhelm parents, leaving them feeling frustrated and inadequate. Spirited kids are, in fact, simply "more" — by temperament, they are more intense, sensitive, perceptive, persistent, and uncomfortable with change than the average child. We had tantrums over the unimaginable things - getting out of the 'other' side of the car when parked caused such a drama. The method in a nutshell, is to one, recognise when your child is about to reach their 'red zone'. You will start to learn the signs..reading the book will give you some clues on what to look for. Once you have recognised these signs, then you teach your child how to recognize them too. Then it's more about prevention rather than reaction - when you know the stimulants that set them off, you can change your environment to adapt. For those who do not like change, you need to tell them about the change over and over again before it actually happens so they have time to adapt. Do just throw something at them or you will have a meltdown. If you know noise stimulates, keep it low, or have them escape a noise environment as often as possible. If they need to use energy (this was my DD issue - keep them as active as possible), or the opposite, make sure you give them the down time they need. Not all spirited children have all signs, but they will have a lot of them. A spirited child is consistent with their reactions..they are very draining for the parent because you feel that you are getting nowhere. But then you see the other child acting appropriately so you know you must have done something right. The book helped me to better understand myself (because I too am spirited - so I know how I feel about certain things). This helped me enormously actually - because if I am frustrated about something, then don't come at me with more - because I will just explode. But if you give me 5 mins of peace, then I will calm down and the outcome is not a fierce battle but an intelligent conversation. I know my cues, I know when my stomach knots or my head hurts, and I walk away - then all is good. I have taught this to my daughter and it is simply wonderful. Here is an excerpt: You've seen us at the market: we're the ones whose kids are screaming, climbing on shopping carts, begging for candy or a toy. You've seen us at restaurants: our kids hardly eat. Instead, they run around or pop up and stare at other diners. You've seen us at the playground: our kids run, jump, climb, slide, and change activities with blinding speed. You've heard about us: our kids are described as "handfuls." We're the ones who are often asked, "Are you sure he's not hyperactive?" We're the parents everyone has advice for: take a parenting class; be stricter; be more lenient; spank; have tested. But despite all your experience with us, you don't really know us. We are the parents of "spirited" kids. And through Postpartum Education for Parent's Spirited Children Support Group we are learning more about our special kids and how to manage them. Our children are normal but hard-to-raise. Difficult. Challenging. And certainly a handful. My own introduction to the world of spirited children came from a book catalog. In its description of "Raising Your Spirited Child" it told the story of a child who had a tantrum because his sandwich was cut into rectangles instead of triangles. I was floored -- I'd had that fight with my child! Up to that point I'd thought I was just not cut out to be a parent. I wondered what was wrong with my child and asked her pediatrician several times if she was hyperactive. Of course, I ran right out and bought the book. I discovered that it wasn't my lack of parenting skills -- I was actually doing a lot of things right. The problem was my lack of knowledge about my daughter's spirited temperament. In 1956, Drs. Alexander Thomas, Stella Chess and Herbert Birch began the ground-breaking New York Longitudinal Study, following 133 people from infancy to adulthood. Their goal was to define temperamental characteristics of children as they matured. Nine traits were defined, which we all have in some degree. It's that degree which determines whether a child will be mellow or spirited. The work done by these researchers has been expanded by two authors, Stanley Turecki, M.D. in "The Difficult Child," and Mary Sheedy Kurcinka in "Raising Your Spirited Child." Sorry this was so long....

There are lots of good points raised in all the below posts, It is important (I'd even say crucial) to consider a child's temperament when tackling issues such as behaviour, learning etc. So yes, I think its quite helpful to be able to identify a "spirited" child, and in doing so get a much better insight into likely triggers for "bad behaviour" and useful ways to re-channel extra energy. My guy is very easy-going and gentle, but early on it was apparent that he needs a certain amount of active time, and changes of scene in order to focus and learn. I was lucky that my MIL, having been through the same with DH, could share her insight into best dealing with this temperament. It is also vital to realise that understanding the causes of behaviours or diagnosing an actual disorder such as Autism,ADHD etc in no way removes the need to address the behaviour itself. A child behaving in an antisocial way regardless of cause will receive negative attention from their peers and other adults, and will ultimately be harmed the most by their own behaviour. A good parent will do everything within their power to give their child the tools to lead a happy life. Back to the OP, who describes a child who is hurting other children and crying each morning in anticipation of another day at nursery where they are presumably punished and scolded all day. You have to ask yourself, what is this child "gaining" right now from the nursery experience. I don't think this child is emotionally/developmentally ready for the environment in which he has been thrown into, I would absolutely pull him out and as a parent give him the help he needs so that when he returns he can enjoy himself and have a positive experience. You wouldn't teach your child to swim by throwing them into the pool and walking away, you can't teach a child to socialize by chucking him in a room of other small children and waving goodbye. Small children may enjoy the company of other small children, but they pattern their behaviour on that of adults. Truly if the OP has the option then I think one-on-one mummy time, and socializing with mummy there to observe, correct and teach will be far more beneficial to this wee guy than leaving him floundering in what has become a very negative environment for him.

Fluffyfrank-thank you! So there is hope left for my little darling!!! Back to the original post...I wouldn't pull him out of nursery ( maybe change the nursery ) but I think puling out will not help him. Plus next year when he goes to school you can't just pull him out when he misbehaves... I am a teacher myself and one thing that worries me was that the teacher said he won't sit still during colouring...Well,why does he have to? If he doesn't want to clour why can't he do something else???? In my class for example are a few " must " do times like circle time but when I say must do I mean I will sit with them and read,sing etc but if the class is too excited we will do something else first, then get back to circle time later....Also there should be a minimum of 3 adults in the room, so can't one of them interfere before your son hurts someone else?? Maybe talk to them again and see if they are willing to discuss any way forward??? ( I am teaching 2-3 year olds and I would always talk with the parents first to see if we can work out something together....)

Hi sweetcorn, Your post rings so many bells with me! I had similar problems when my son was at pre-school in the UK. At the age of 3 he used to throw tantrums and didn't get on with other children. He wouldn't share toys, he'd stand in the playhouse and refuse to let other children in, he'd go beserk during 'Twinkle, twinkle' as it was 'his' song and no else should sing it. The head called me in to discuss his behaviour and wanted to have him assessed. He liked to play on his own - if another child tried to join in he'd get very angry. I could go on... My son was (is) very bright - knew his colours and shapes at 18 months, could name all 46 Mr Men at 22 months, spoke early with very good grammar etc. When he started big school he used to get very disruptive in class, yet at the same time he picked up reading so easily that he was ahead of the rest of the class. In year one he wouldn't do any school work and needed a teacher practically standing over him all the time! What's my point? Well, my son is now 7 and a lovely, sociable, well-behaved little boy. He is doing well at school and has made some lovely friendships. He is very laidback and prefers his own company and is so completely different to the angry toddler that I can't believe it's the same child. I didn't do anything to change him, it has happened naturally over time as he has grown up. My advice to you is to trust your instincts. You know you have a fabulous little boy but the school needs children to fit in and go with the norm. If you are not working and doesn't need to be at nursery, pull him out for a year. He may respond much better to one-to-one attention. My son loved stories and jigsaws and spending time on his own, going for walks and just chatting to me about all the things that interest him. As your son gets older he will make friends but 2 is still very, very young. I have been very frustrated over the years that education establishments don't seem to acknowledge the difficulties of bright little ones - they seem very keen to label them and attach a syndrome to them. Can't a kid just be bright? Be prepared for an emotional rollercoaster but also have faith in your parenting and your child. You say you are strict with his behaviour - that's great, he will turn out fine! I know it's hard now but they don't call it the terrible 2s for nothing!

Maybe send a shadow to nursery with your child for a while. Someone that can give him one-on-one attention to see why he acts the way he does. Sometimes it is not easy for the teachers to see the small things that happen to trigger the behaviour of kids. Would surely help to know when and why exactly it is that he gets angry. Plus the shadow could help him learn certain social skills and guide him to growing part of the group.

I think you have to really look at all angles and understand what is going on, generally schools and nurseries are money making entities so to get rid of a child is not thier first interest. You have not said if he behaves like this at home and when you take hime out and about. I would go and monitor a morning at the nursery and see exactly what is happening. Only then can you gain a true picture of what exactly is happening and how he is being supervised.

There is a book called Raising your Spirited Child. A high spirited child is extreme.. he doesn't walk, he runs. He doesn't cry, he screams. He is super observant to the most minor details and extremely sensitive to the tiniest of things. They need to find a space, get a breather from some things..i.e. an introverted high spirited child, needs time to be by himself, to regroup, to have some piece. A noisy playground can send the poor kid insane. he gets to a point that he just can;t take the noise anymore, and so reacts to a tiny thing that makes him look like he is naughty.But his naughty act sends him to the naughty corner where, guess what, he has some silence and he has some time to regroup. My friend has to closely monitor her child at b parties, or amusement parks because he starts to get frustrated and acts out. By recognizing his needs, you can better manage his environment. Johnny, I can see that you are getting a bit anxious, how about we go outside for a while and read a book/get some fresh air and come back where we are at peace. This is a very pitiful summary, but we can teach these spirited kids to control their emotions, once they recognise them, and the teachers/parents alike play an important role also in leanring to recognise a child's needs. I now know when my DD is reaching her red zone and I react according - since then we have avoided soooo many meltdowns and everyone is much happier. They also say the a high spirited child usually has a high spirited parent...when I analysed myself, I was too. So by using my own experiences, and knowing how I feel about certain situations, I was able to anticipate exactly how DD was feeling - and I could stop it. This may or may not be the case, but consider it. If you think your child may be high spirited, by the book and learn some really great techniques to give you all some peace. BTW - those who do not have these spirited children will probably just tell you that your child is naughty - why? because they don't understand because they don't live with the pressures of raising such a child... oh how often did I get jealous when I saw a young toddler sitting their quietly while Mum did this and that... Best of luck to you... How do you decide what is bad behaviour and how do you correct that with this method please.

I actually asked you in a previous mail how you tell the difference between a "spirited" child and a spoiled one. Let me guess; if it's your own child they're "spirited", if it's someone else's they're spoiled? . That's right! My kids are spirited and other naughty kids are all spoilt. My kids are perfect and so am I for that matter. Glad to see that a clinical approach to fixing/managing behavior was well accepted on such an open forum. Best of luck to OP, I truly hope she finds a solution to her problem. No kid is easy...

Anyhoooooooo let us get back on track here It is not nice to pull your child out of nursery now, as he may wonder why, although i had to change my sons nursery at this age and he never questioned it and was happy. On the other hand, you MUST get this problem solved, as another parent can put pressure on the nursery to fix it and fix it now. I suggest that you stay at the nursery one morning and monitor his behavior yourself. See if he is naughty while you are there. Perhaps you cannot see what they see. As a Mom, I can tell you that I have a son who is full of beans, and ever the joker etc...sometimes he drives me to places I never imagined before, BUT when he goes to anyone else's house, he becomes the model child, so sweet and charming..... It is amazing to see your own child change characters, but it happens. Go and see, but don't blame the nursery, the other parents are right, if he is the only one behaving like this, he needs to be moved. ** Like *** You have to have the appropriate environment for your child..if it is not working, then it is bad for all. I think IAMVP has an excellent idea to go and see for yourself (but I would try and stay out of view or something because his behavior will no doubt be different if he sees you)... then you will be able to confer with teachers after and either say, 'when he does this, this is what I do to get him calm", and then they can try and fix it, or "WOW had no clue my son was like this...." - at least you will know!

Anyhoooooooo let us get back on track here It is not nice to pull your child out of nursery now, as he may wonder why, although i had to change my sons nursery at this age and he never questioned it and was happy. On the other hand, you MUST get this problem solved, as another parent can put pressure on the nursery to fix it and fix it now. I suggest that you stay at the nursery one morning and monitor his behavior yourself. See if he is naughty while you are there. Perhaps you cannot see what they see. As a Mom, I can tell you that I have a son who is full of beans, and ever the joker etc...sometimes he drives me to places I never imagined before, BUT when he goes to anyone else's house, he becomes the model child, so sweet and charming..... It is amazing to see your own child change characters, but it happens. Go and see, but don't blame the nursery, the other parents are right, if he is the only one behaving like this, he needs to be moved.

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You live a sheltered life...you see one thing and that is your answer...if kids are bad they are spoilt You've just jumped to a conclusion there, which is somewhat ironic, since you're accusing me of doing the same thing. I never said that all kids are bad they must be spoilt, I said that there are plenty of kids who are bad because they're spoilt. A difference, [i'>n'est-ce pas?[/i'> I actually asked you in a previous mail how you tell the difference between a "spirited" child and a spoiled one. Let me guess; if it's your own child they're "spirited", if it's someone else's they're spoiled? you refer only to children then who have maids? Wrong again.

My 4 year old hates parties because they are "too loud". He covers his ears when the tv is a bit loud or the stereo is on. Extremely extremely extremely sensitive (always apologizing to make sure im not mad even if i just frown). And, VERY attentive to details. I am worried. Hey DJ - my DD often comes home from school and comments how noisy it was in class or on the playground. Next time you go to a party, just take him out for a break to get some piece for a few minutes. Go for s short walk. If he says the music s too loud, then turn it down to give him a break. I am exactly the same...noise can drive me bonkers but a few minutes of calm do me the world of good. Sometimes this is all kids need to revitalize themselves.

There is a book called Raising your Spirited Child. A high spirited child is extreme.. he doesn't walk, he runs. He doesn't cry, he screams. He is super observant to the most minor details and extremely sensitive to the tiniest of things. They need to find a space, get a breather from some things..i.e. an introverted high spirited child, needs time to be by himself, to regroup, to have some piece. A noisy playground can send the poor kid insane. he gets to a point that he just can;t take the noise anymore, and so reacts to a tiny thing that makes him look like he is naughty.But his naughty act sends him to the naughty corner where, guess what, he has some silence and he has some time to regroup. My friend has to closely monitor her child at b parties, or amusement parks because he starts to get frustrated and acts out. By recognizing his needs, you can better manage his environment. Johnny, I can see that you are getting a bit anxious, how about we go outside for a while and read a book/get some fresh air and come back where we are at peace. This is a very pitiful summary, but we can teach these spirited kids to control their emotions, once they recognise them, and the teachers/parents alike play an important role also in leanring to recognise a child's needs. I now know when my DD is reaching her red zone and I react according - since then we have avoided soooo many meltdowns and everyone is much happier. They also say the a high spirited child usually has a high spirited parent...when I analysed myself, I was too. So by using my own experiences, and knowing how I feel about certain situations, I was able to anticipate exactly how DD was feeling - and I could stop it. This may or may not be the case, but consider it. If you think your child may be high spirited, by the book and learn some really great techniques to give you all some peace. BTW - those who do not have these spirited children will probably just tell you that your child is naughty - why? because they don't understand because they don't live with the pressures of raising such a child... oh how often did I get jealous when I saw a young toddler sitting their quietly while Mum did this and that... Best of luck to you... Perfect description of kid on the autistic spectrum Manufan- read my how my 'autistic' kid is doing in my post below...

WOW could BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE more judgemental?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?! You have a problem with someone pointing out a simple truth? There are some truly horrible expat brats here. They're not "spirited", or any other trendy pseudo-psychological claptrap that sells books (I presume there's one out there called Your Spirited Child), they're just badly behaved, mainly because they're spoiled and have been allowed to get their own way too many times. And yes, the family background *is* often the way I described it. So many times I've been at play areas with my own little ones and there's the mother, usually a Jumeirah Jane type nattering away with her JJ friends and completely ignoring her children while they upset the others. There's never a father to be seen when brats are involved, only ever a mother and usually a maid, who will try and keep order but will typically be completely ignored. When a Mum *and* Dad, or just a Dad, turns up, you can usually be pretty sure their kid(s) won't cause any trouble. More than once I've had to go and tell an oblivious mother that she really ought to be paying attention to what her little treasure is getting up to, only to receive a dirty look and be ignored. It's no wonder the kids behave as they do, and if the parents won't do anything about it, you can guarantee that sooner or later the child's peer group will. You live a sheltered life...you see one thing and that is your answer...if kids are bad they are spoilt. If they are sensitive they are autistic... you refer only to children then who have maids? my highly spirited child is now a well rounded young girl who is form rep, one of the top in her class, an amazing dancer who has been put up to an age level higher than hers by 3 separate dance teachers, she is coming along very nicely in tennis, is tri-lingual and is always smiling. Thanks to the 'psychological clap trap' that made me really understand my kid, she can now be this way. Try and look at things from other angles and not just what's in your back garden... there are most certainly naughty and spoilt children, but don't put them all into the same basket!

My 4 year old hates parties because they are "too loud". He covers his ears when the tv is a bit loud or the stereo is on. Extremely extremely extremely sensitive (always apologizing to make sure im not mad even if i just frown). And, VERY attentive to details. I am worried.

WOW could BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE more judgemental?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?! You have a problem with someone pointing out a simple truth? There are some truly horrible expat brats here. They're not "spirited", or any other trendy pseudo-psychological claptrap that sells books (I presume there's one out there called Your Spirited Child), they're just badly behaved, mainly because they're spoiled and have been allowed to get their own way too many times. And yes, the family background *is* often the way I described it. So many times I've been at play areas with my own little ones and there's the mother, usually a Jumeirah Jane type nattering away with her JJ friends and completely ignoring her children while they upset the others. There's never a father to be seen when brats are involved, only ever a mother and usually a maid, who will try and keep order but will typically be completely ignored. When a Mum *and* Dad, or just a Dad, turns up, you can usually be pretty sure their kid(s) won't cause any trouble. More than once I've had to go and tell an oblivious mother that she really ought to be paying attention to what her little treasure is getting up to, only to receive a dirty look and be ignored. It's no wonder the kids behave as they do, and if the parents won't do anything about it, you can guarantee that sooner or later the child's peer group will. like

WOW could BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE more judgemental?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?! You have a problem with someone pointing out a simple truth? There are some truly horrible expat brats here. They're not "spirited", or any other trendy pseudo-psychological claptrap that sells books (I presume there's one out there called Your Spirited Child), they're just badly behaved, mainly because they're spoiled and have been allowed to get their own way too many times. And yes, the family background *is* often the way I described it. So many times I've been at play areas with my own little ones and there's the mother, usually a Jumeirah Jane type nattering away with her JJ friends and completely ignoring her children while they upset the others. There's never a father to be seen when brats are involved, only ever a mother and usually a maid, who will try and keep order but will typically be completely ignored. When a Mum *and* Dad, or just a Dad, turns up, you can usually be pretty sure their kid(s) won't cause any trouble. More than once I've had to go and tell an oblivious mother that she really ought to be paying attention to what her little treasure is getting up to, only to receive a dirty look and be ignored. It's no wonder the kids behave as they do, and if the parents won't do anything about it, you can guarantee that sooner or later the child's peer group will.

But then again, we all are, just some more further along than others.

There is a book called Raising your Spirited Child. A high spirited child is extreme.. he doesn't walk, he runs. He doesn't cry, he screams. He is super observant to the most minor details and extremely sensitive to the tiniest of things. They need to find a space, get a breather from some things..i.e. an introverted high spirited child, needs time to be by himself, to regroup, to have some piece. A noisy playground can send the poor kid insane. he gets to a point that he just can;t take the noise anymore, and so reacts to a tiny thing that makes him look like he is naughty.But his naughty act sends him to the naughty corner where, guess what, he has some silence and he has some time to regroup. My friend has to closely monitor her child at b parties, or amusement parks because he starts to get frustrated and acts out. By recognizing his needs, you can better manage his environment. Johnny, I can see that you are getting a bit anxious, how about we go outside for a while and read a book/get some fresh air and come back where we are at peace. This is a very pitiful summary, but we can teach these spirited kids to control their emotions, once they recognise them, and the teachers/parents alike play an important role also in leanring to recognise a child's needs. I now know when my DD is reaching her red zone and I react according - since then we have avoided soooo many meltdowns and everyone is much happier. They also say the a high spirited child usually has a high spirited parent...when I analysed myself, I was too. So by using my own experiences, and knowing how I feel about certain situations, I was able to anticipate exactly how DD was feeling - and I could stop it. This may or may not be the case, but consider it. If you think your child may be high spirited, by the book and learn some really great techniques to give you all some peace. BTW - those who do not have these spirited children will probably just tell you that your child is naughty - why? because they don't understand because they don't live with the pressures of raising such a child... oh how often did I get jealous when I saw a young toddler sitting their quietly while Mum did this and that... Best of luck to you... Perfect description of kid on the autistic spectrum

Children change very fast. A 2 year old is very young and immature and boys have a tougher time than girls sitting quietly and writing and coloring. Also, I imagine a more old fashioned and established nursery will be more fixed in their ways of doing things. Pulling him out of this nursery may be the best thing for him. As someone suggested, playgroups where you are around to keep and eye on him a couple of times a week should be enough to help him socialise at such a young age. My son is 3 and not yet at nursery but he pays wonderfully with other kids. Also consider a smaller and newer nursery the next time when you would like to send him again in a few months

Hi, my 2 year old DS started going to nursery on September. I chose that place because it is one of the oldest establishments in Dubai and has a very good reputation. The teacher has been complaining about him on a regular basis. He throws toys everywhere, pushes the other kids, doesn't sit quietly to do coloring... The parents are starting to complain. The head teacher told me that they have exhausted all efforts with him and nothing seemed to work and eventually they would consider expelling him and that I need to find another place for him that will cost me more, as if my DS had some sort of mental disease. My DS is a very active boy, but he is smart as well, he knows his alphabet and reads it as well as his numbers, he loves to sing and dance. He is full of life. My pediatrician told me that he was a perfectly normal kid and that he was very mature for his age, and that the nursery should know how to handle him instead of trying to get rid of him. I am really upset about this as I'm thinking about pulling him out of the nursery. I really need some piece of advice on this. thank you! Does he do these things at home? Throws toys, pushes, won't sit quietly? If yes, then you see their point? What do you do to remedy them? IF no , then you have a partial answer ...... No matter how full of life our children are they need to be able to socialise with other children. This is OUR role as a parent - we should prepare our children for this when they go out into the world. Maybe your son is not ready for this stage yet.

BTW - those who do not have these spirited children will probably just tell you that your child is naughty - why? because they don't understand because they don't live with the pressures of raising such a child... oh how often did I get jealous when I saw a young toddler sitting their quietly while Mum did this and that... Best of luck to you... Of course, plenty of children aren't "spirited", they're just brats thanks to poor parenting. We see plenty of those round Dubai. They're often from families where Daddy spends a lot of time away, Mummy spends too little time being a Mummy, and the maid does everything else. These kids have rarely heard the word "no" and they know from experience that Mummy will always cave to tantrums because it's the easy route to a quiet life for her. How do you tell the difference between the brats and the "spirited" children? You can usually tell a spirited child well before the age they can walk & talk....I was told by the nurses when I left the hospital with my 3 day old baby - good luck with that baby with a toddlers mind.... and to be more specific to your reference above, parents of spirited children are those that are exhausted, extenuated, you see that they reprimand their children time and time again but to no avail..they are at their wits end because they really have tried everything.... you can see when a spirited child is frustrated, tormented inside and acts as opposed to a spoilt brat who is just vying for attention. I also refer to my point that parents who do not have spirited child will not understand!

BTW - those who do not have these spirited children will probably just tell you that your child is naughty - why? because they don't understand because they don't live with the pressures of raising such a child... oh how often did I get jealous when I saw a young toddler sitting their quietly while Mum did this and that... Best of luck to you... Of course, plenty of children aren't "spirited", they're just brats thanks to poor parenting. We see plenty of those round Dubai. They're often from families where Daddy spends a lot of time away, Mummy spends too little time being a Mummy, and the maid does everything else. These kids have rarely heard the word "no" and they know from experience that Mummy will always cave to tantrums because it's the easy route to a quiet life for her. How do you tell the difference between the brats and the "spirited" children? WOW could BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE more judgemental?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!

BTW - those who do not have these spirited children will probably just tell you that your child is naughty - why? because they don't understand because they don't live with the pressures of raising such a child... oh how often did I get jealous when I saw a young toddler sitting their quietly while Mum did this and that... Best of luck to you... Of course, plenty of children aren't "spirited", they're just brats thanks to poor parenting. We see plenty of those round Dubai. They're often from families where Daddy spends a lot of time away, Mummy spends too little time being a Mummy, and the maid does everything else. These kids have rarely heard the word "no" and they know from experience that Mummy will always cave to tantrums because it's the easy route to a quiet life for her. How do you tell the difference between the brats and the "spirited" children?

If you don't actually need him to be in nursery I would seriously consider not sending him at all, it isn't necessarily better for children to be at nursery, it doesn't better equip them for school especially if they're unhappy there.