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EWmums

EWfood

ewmoda

Really disappointed in the Grandparents :(

522

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 15 February 2011 - 12:06

So... here's a lesson in what NOT to do should your daughter or son have a baby overseas... (Not to mention that I delivered at 30 weeks and the past 2 months has been some of the most stressful time of my life)...

Mt MIL and FIL are not visiting - they initially said they would when I was pregnant... Now they've put it off until Sept/ Oct this year. They figure we'll be home in July so why bother coming earlier! :/:

My parents have now decided not to come... they don't have th pressure of "having to visit" as the in-laws are no longer coming... they too are going to wait until July.

So we have no one... I repeat - NOBODY!!! coming to meet our newest little man. I am so disappointed. I realise it's their loss entirely - but :( :( :( :( :(

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Annabelle0921001

236

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 17 February 2011 - 15:58

Although my DD is blessed with a great grandmother ( my mom:)), my DH's parents only came once for 4 days, and decided to go shopping on the 4th day! she is almost 2 now, so I understand what you must be feeling..I hope they turn around, and behave in a way that grandparents should! sending kisses and hugs!

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EW GURU

Latest post on 17 February 2011 - 11:04

Agree with Shellly, I'd do what DH suggested and say you are putting off coming home for the summer. Stovetop, I have the memory of a goldfish...sorry. Can you email me? bellsdxb@gmailDOTcom

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EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 17 February 2011 - 08:37

You should do what your DH jokingly suggested, tell them you're not coming to Oz now. See what they do. Big hugs, I would find it very upsetting too.

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EW GURU

Latest post on 16 February 2011 - 22:49

I was the opposite, I was very happy to be alone with my hubby and my new little baby ALL to myself. I am sorry you feel let down, enjoy your free time with your baby and let go of these feelings.

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EW MASTER

Latest post on 16 February 2011 - 12:53

Awww....dont feel bad. It's a blessing in disguise. This way you can get used to your new routine and get your feet back onto the ground before they come for a visit. By the time your family comes to visit your baby will have some sort of sleeping routine,so you will know when you can go for outing and when not to. When they see your little gorgeous one they will melt and beg to come more regularly. Then you will have another thread titled 'how to get rid of overstaying family!'. Hehe! Take care and kisses to the little one.

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EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 16 February 2011 - 12:35

I know how you feel - my in-laws are exactly the same. Dh turning 40 this year, they could easily visit to celebrate, but no way. They too have worked out that we will be home every sumer so why bother. Of course when we are actually in the same country, they are not that good at making it to Auckland, so I have to trek with the kids to see them, another plane, and a very un-kid friendly house....oh and also "because you love cooking so much, I thought I'd let you organise dinner...." It's interesting though as if DH had his way, we wouldn't go back to NZ, but rent a villa in Europe and stay there for the summer, but I want DS to know his cousins and GP, and also feel as if NZ is "home" even if it's not at the mo.

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EW GURU

Latest post on 16 February 2011 - 12:00

But the good news is...my in laws have just left (after a dramatic and stressfull stay) In a couple of months, I can foresee myself typing out the exact same words :\: BTW, KellsBells... weren't we looking at a Moses Basket deal earlier? :D

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EW GURU

Latest post on 16 February 2011 - 10:26

Sorry hun. I really feel for you. But the good news is...my in laws have just left (after a dramatic and stressfull stay) SO... We're back on for every Monday. You and little J can just relax and I'll help L and E burn off some energy. Promise not to have DH getting stuck into a spring-clean whilst you're here ever again ;-)

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 16 February 2011 - 09:39

Ah sorry Meals. I really sympathise as I was in tears over something similar last week! :( We were last home in Oct and had a terrible time as we were rushing around trying to please everyone (lesson learnt!), drama with the in-laws and our LO was sick so I've been looking so forward to having my folks over for some quality time. We thought April would be perfect as there are so many public hols in SA over Easter but for some reason (not financial as we always pay for everything), they can't come until Dec and are also satisfied with the fact that we'll be home in Aug. My DD is 14 months now which is such a delightful, fun age and I really feel like they are missing out on so much as it is. Fair enough, it's our decision to live abroad but it's still disappointing. We did have them out for the birth though and I totally agree with the others that it was so stressful! Trying to entertain when we should have been sleeping etc etc. I'll def wait next time but understand how you feel. Hugs x

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EW EXPERT

Latest post on 15 February 2011 - 16:51

I shall bring him round with knee and elbow pads and a boxing helmet. Then let him loose! He has no fear whatsoever and I have to watch him like a hawk. Apparently, he's just like his Uncle Iain and God only knows how my mother had any more kids after him.

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EW GURU

Latest post on 15 February 2011 - 16:47

Thanks ladies :) You do know how to make me feel better!!! I think more than anything it's the principle! Why wouldn't they want to come and visit!!! Believe me, for my folks, the money nor the age are not a good enough reason not to visit - my Dad is currently not working and they sold their house recently so have the cash, and mum works a casual job!!! Grrrr... The in-laws are currently off the hook for visiting due to the cyclone in Oz... but their intentions were never there to visit prior to that anyway - so I'm grumpy at them... but now they have a very good excuse! And I could definitely do with them visiting to entertain the other two DS rascals!!! They would love the extra attention and I could do with them being run around by someone else for a bit to run off their energy! My DH (who is a wonderful source of support!) has joked that we should tell them we're not going home during summer hols - that'd do them all in! ;) The thing that REALLY annoys me is my mum blubbing on skype about not having met her grandson... Then jump on a bl00dy plane for heavens sake!!! She actually said yesterday that I better hurry up and sort out his passport so I could "escape Dubai"... cause 15 hrs on a plane with 3 DS's aged 5, 3 and 9 weeks sounds like fun!!! Insantiy!!! Stovetop and DC yes please :D come visit!!! And DC you can help me... I highly doubt my house is toddler proof again... could do with a Will test!

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EW EXPERT

Latest post on 15 February 2011 - 14:56

:( Big hugs for you xx My MIL had the option of coming in the July after DS was born, or coming in April when I was 8 months pregnant. She came in April so she could have a proper holiday. Grrrrrrr! As you say, it's their loss, but it doesn't make it any easier. We would love to come and meet Jackson though :). A couple of hours of Will tearing up your house should make you feel better! edited by DubaiCat on 15/02/2011 <em>edited by DubaiCat on 15/02/2011</em>

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 15 February 2011 - 14:26

Aw Meals bless you! Our little one (our first!) is due on Thurs and MIL & FIL are already here! Fortunately they are staying in a hotel as like Yasmine and Tahm563 I don't think I could handle family staying in our quite small appartment at the same time as having a brand new baby! There were a few insensitive comments the last time they were here (in Nov) so I am a teeny bit wary of how this visit will go but I am pleased they are here as know it means a lot to DH. My own parents live in Canada and a combination of costs and my mum being not too well means they won't see the baby until the summer - July probably - when I plan to be back in the UK for a while. I am massively disappointed about this and I know my mum is too but it makes the best sense for everyone if we wait and then she can come stay as long as she likes over the summer. It sounds as though your parents and parents-in-law have phrased things badly as much as anything, I bet if you were back home they'd be over like a flash. :)

231

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 15 February 2011 - 14:22

Awww am so sorry to hear that. I also had DD at 30 w 5 days and both sets of parents came down. I really did appreciate their support as I was a basket case while DD was in the NICU. BUT.... the in laws then decided that they should never leave and my parents since then have decided that I dont really need any help. I know it does not help you feel better but spend the time bonding with your son and establishing your own routine. I would be happy to help out with ANYTHING at all. I know how crazy it is to have a preemie and even though when they are home it gets better, you sometimes just need someone to talk to and get over what you have been through.

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EW GURU

Latest post on 15 February 2011 - 14:13

I totally get where you're coming from. DS was born here and is now almost 7months. We went home for our holiday. Two weeks on one end of the country to see my dad and two weeks to see the inlaw at the other end of the country. My dad is planning on coming out but with him we understand the wait since he was going through chemo and wants to wait for the ct scan results. Also thought it would be nice to be with us here next christmas. The inlaws are the same age as my siblings (50 and 52). They have never been out here and actually only came out to see us twice when we still lived in the same country (once at our wedding and the second just MIL when our first DS was baptized). DH gets upset about it all because we are the one's that always have to call, skype, email etc to even get a response out of them (the inlaws not my dad). Then when we visit they get upset with us if we want to take them out for dinner and... shocking... pay for them. It is unfortunately their loss but it does make our efforts tiring to the point of saying why even bother.

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EW GURU

Latest post on 15 February 2011 - 13:25

Meals, can I come visit and see Baby Jackson? Not old enough to be a grandparent... but at 37 weeks, certainly looking as haggard as one... not to mention acting as cranky as one too ;)

184

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 15 February 2011 - 13:24

Meals, I really feel for you. But, I feel the same as Yasmine. When I had mine, I had family around. Honestly, I would rather not have them around and just relax at home getting to know my baby. Then again, everyone is different and have different parents and in-laws. Both parents are very nice, but I would hate to wake up every morning and worry about what to feed them, where to take them, how to entertain them on top of the stress of a new baby.

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 15 February 2011 - 12:45

I am so sorry meals, sounds like it was really important for you that they came. I have no idea how old your parents are but maybe that has something to do with it? To be honest, in my case both my parents and my parents in law came and I hoped that they wouldnt because i just needed some peace of mind after delivering my baby. They DID come and drove me insane and I almost had a mental breakdown from trying to please everybody and handling my newborn baby at the same time. Big virtual huggggs

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 15 February 2011 - 12:43

Meals i'm so sorry to hear that but can totally relate, DD was born on her due date but was very ill and we too had no visitors, they were happy to wait until we returned in August, she was born in the April! Sorry you are feeling so let down, if you need any support check out http://www.facebook.com/home.php?sk=group_120332148035708&ap=1 x

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