Child custody/visitation with pilot | ExpatWoman.com
 

Child custody/visitation with pilot

29
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 28 May 2014 - 21:54

Could any of you share the realities of trying to have a fair visitation agreement with a pilot in case of separation ? How do you work it out? Does it work? Any advice before drafting a legal agreement here? Please share your experience.

Anonymous (not verified)
0
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 29 May 2014 - 21:51
My first husband was airline pilot and custody was an ongoing battle until our DSs reached their majority and even beyond. He grabbed them from school in the middle of the day, stalked the house, lied in court, and bribed our DDs to try to get full custody. I agreed to DDs going to him on his "days off" while he stayed living in the same city otherwise on weekends or as he could manage and they could manage around school and sport but he didn't agree. It was not enough. He tried to stipulate where I lived etc, where I worked, how I lived. Life was unbearable for years. I did not have any peace. At the time, family law was not as "tight" as it is now, unfortunately. I suggest, unless it is a completely amical split, you get a court order stipulating exactly which days your children go to their father, schools to be attended, places/countries they can live, maintenance for your children and you, etc. Being an airline pilot, there is the possibility of their father moving and wanting to take the children with him. Get everything clearly in writing and sealed by the court. Don't make the mistake I did and trust your husband to keep his word. I am still waiting for any financial assistance from him after all these years (not holding my breathe now). I am sorry to sound so pessimistic but it is my experience - if you were happy together and in agreement, you would not be divorcing. Your children are the ones that will suffer most the upheaval of a divorce, so you need to make it a simple and as clear as possible for them.
170
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 29 May 2014 - 20:38
I'm not sure what advice you are hoping for? Without knowing specific work schedules what can anyone suggest? If you and your ex are in agreement that 50/50 is the ideal, then just agree to shared custody/residency and work out the specifics as you go?
29
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 29 May 2014 - 14:58
I think I mean fair for the parents and the kids. The ideal would be 50/50 but that is why I was asking as with a pilot, how do you make that work? My kids are over 12, so their opinions/activities, etc... would be taken into account too. There must be a lot of you out there in this situation (after all pilots are not known for lasting marriages!), so please share so we/I can have an idea of what is feasible to start the negotiations with....
120
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 29 May 2014 - 07:49
Juli we have similar close family circumstances right now and just wondering what you, as the Mum, would consider to be fair?
170
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 28 May 2014 - 22:04
I don't have experience specifically with pilots but I do have a lot of experience with trying to arrange suitable child residency arrangements generally. I would say, depending on the age of the children, that as much possible time with each parent is the ideal. For example if dad is working shifts of say 6 on 3 off and can have the kids all of his days off, then that is perfect. In my opinion kids are not bothered about days of the week, although others will disagree with this and I personally believe that even if the days the kids are with each parent changes each week as long as there is consistency and love in each home, then it's fine. I would also urge everyone involved to try and think about how they would feel in the other parents situation and if you would feel things were fair if the roles were reversed.
 
 

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