Teens and public transport

Thank you desert bird for your honesty and clairvoyance. To the ones thinking Dubai if full of perverted men... You give way to much credits to men in Dubai. Perverts are everywhere, and Dubai in not worst or better than other place. It's not all about protection, it's also about education. If your daughter has never been educated to identify an unsafe situation, she will go into it without a doubt, and won't be able to deal with it. It's like this maid a few years ago, who got raped in Al Quoz. Yes, it's horrible. Now. What was she doing alone at 3am in Al Quoz ? She didn't know it could be dangerous for a woman to be alone at that hour... My parents were (and certainly still are) thinking like you : "Keep our DD at home, and only allow her to go somewhere if we drive her" - which meant almost never as they didn't have the time. Ok, choice was very limited as we were living in the countryside and no bus was really available. I am not criticizing their education. They've done the best they thought and they could. They are loving parents, and I can't thank them enough for all they goodness they gave to me. Now, it didn't prevent me from being kidnapped and assaulted - just for the pleasure of hurting my father. If didn't prevent neither my rape from my grand-father's best friend (I was 12), in my grand father's garage, while my grand-mother was upstairs and thinking the man was just showing me the great job he has done during winter, renovating the house. But it prevented me to behave correctly when I went studying, at 18, "at the city". Fortunately, I met a girl who is still one of my best friends. She saw that my case was desperate (ok, I was smiling to every single person -so men too - looking at me in the metro...After all, I was just being polite. As I was just being polite not to react if an older man had his hand in a wrong place - respect to older people comes before my own comfort), and educated me, saving me from very awkward - not to say dangerous - situations. I was completely blind and without her I would have thrown myself into deep problems. (Writing that, reminds me I owe her a lot - all these hours of therapy that I don't have to do !!!) Look at the statistics, a large majority of the assaults of children are done within the familiar/friend circle. Personally, 100% of the persons that I know, who have been assaulted while teenage or childhood, have been by a family member, a close person, or/and inside the premises of their home or family house. And believe me, there are much more women that has lived this than what you think. We can not protect our children 100%, and one day or an other, they will have to go and live their own life. While there is no need to put them to soon in certain situations, it is vital to educate them enough so they are independent adults, knowing in which world they are living. Education takes time...So prepare your teenagers to be confident adults moving around this world with awareness. NB : I have created a new ID.

To the ones thinking Dubai if full of perverted men... You give way to much credits to men in Dubai. Perverts are everywhere, and Dubai in not worst or better than other place. It's not all about protection, it's also about education. If your daughter has never been educated to identify an unsafe situation, she will go into it without a doubt, and won't be able to deal with it. It's like this maid a few years ago, who got raped in Al Quoz. Yes, it's horrible. Now. What was she doing alone at 3am in Al Quoz ? She didn't know it could be dangerous for a woman to be alone at that hour... My parents were (and certainly still are) thinking like you : "Keep our DD at home, and only allow her to go somewhere if we drive her" - which meant almost never as they didn't have the time. Ok, choice was very limited as we were living in the countryside and no bus was really available. I am not criticizing their education. They've done the best they thought and they could. They are loving parents, and I can't thank them enough for all they goodness they gave to me. Now, it didn't prevent me from being kidnapped and assaulted - just for the pleasure of hurting my father. If didn't prevent neither my rape from my grand-father's best friend (I was 12), in my grand father's garage, while my grand-mother was upstairs and thinking the man was just showing me the great job he has done during winter, renovating the house. But it prevented me to behave correctly when I went studying, at 18, "at the city". Fortunately, I met a girl who is still one of my best friends. She saw that my case was desperate (ok, I was smiling to every single person -so men too - looking at me in the metro...After all, I was just being polite. As I was just being polite not to react if an older man had his hand in a wrong place - respect to older people comes before my own comfort), and educated me, saving me from very awkward - not to say dangerous - situations. I was completely blind and without her I would have thrown myself into deep problems. (Writing that, reminds me I owe her a lot - all these hours of therapy that I don't have to do !!!) Look at the statistics, a large majority of the assaults of children are done within the familiar/friend circle. Personally, 100% of the persons that I know, who have been assaulted while teenage or childhood, have been by a family member, a close person, or/and inside the premises of their home or family house. And believe me, there are much more women that has lived this than what you think. We can not protect our children 100%, and one day or an other, they will have to go and live their own life. While there is no need to put them to soon in certain situations, it is vital to educate them enough so they are independent adults, knowing in which world they are living. Education takes time...So prepare your teenagers to be confident adults moving around this world with awareness. NB : I have created a new ID.

I think the schools should encourage it . I think in sixth form at my DS school they take them on a field trip where by they drop them in Dubai somewhere and they have to make their way to different points of reference before going back to school . Bit late in sixth form , they are already in the habit of having drivers !

It is no different to allowing your teen to take the bus or metro in the UK . It is our responsibility to teach them how to behave and then when they are using public transport you teach them to call you or go with at least two friends etc what ever you are comfortable with and a what age you are comfortable to allow them to do that. We all allow our children these privileges at different ages. I have older children who used trains and buses in the UK and I personally think we should encourage it more here for some reason we find it necessary to drive them everywhere here ! I would be happy sending mine to school on public transport too if there were shuttle buses running from the metro stations to the schools , all these school buses picking the kids up at the front door and dropping them back are not doing them any favours. Mine had to walk to the school bus stop in our village them bus to school, or walk to train station and then train to college. Our kids need to learn to be independent. i get funny looks from some of the parents when i say that i use the bus....... but i am trying to get my kids used to it.

It is no different to allowing your teen to take the bus or metro in the UK . It is our responsibility to teach them how to behave and then when they are using public transport you teach them to call you or go with at least two friends etc what ever you are comfortable with and a what age you are comfortable to allow them to do that. We all allow our children these privileges at different ages. I have older children who used trains and buses in the UK and I personally think we should encourage it more here for some reason we find it necessary to drive them everywhere here ! I would be happy sending mine to school on public transport too if there were shuttle buses running from the metro stations to the schools , all these school buses picking the kids up at the front door and dropping them back are not doing them any favours. Mine had to walk to the school bus stop in our village them bus to school, or walk to train station and then train to college. Our kids need to learn to be independent.

Most of them don't

Really, so why is it they turn up in Dubai and behaving similar to the soaps and think its fine to do so. If I was a mother of a teenager daughter here in Dubai, I would not wish for her to behave as many do in the UK. One can still raise them independently but naturally different to a UK resident in the Uk. Standards have dropped dramatically in the UK over the past 30 years and certainly would not want my children's children to be independant and living like those in Cornation street, East enders and Emmerdale . What a way of life and its considered normal and acceptable . Common denominator is lowering all the time. When you were a teenager in Europe you did not have the amount of men and living in conditions like here. If you don´t let your teenagers to take a taxi or public transport freely when they are in Dubai (in my opinion much safer than any big city in Europe) how are they going to cope in a few years when they are in "the real world" on their own in a new city with new people? How are they going to be able to pay their bills, ask for a student loan or even buy organize theirselves for an exam? Some young adults (18-21 years old) in this country behave as if everybody would be at their service all the time and some young ladies think they are princess - How are they going to cope, for example, with their first “real” boyfriend? I have been working with young adults both in the UK and UAE and believe me, young adults in UAE are like 15 years old in Europe. If you are going to send your children to Europe to get University education (something that I strongly recommend) they need to be ready for the real world. Due to the lifestyle children in Dubai are spoiled and overprotected, they don´t have access to real hazards here (i.e. alcohol, drugs and s_x widley available) so to be honest, I don´t know how some of these young adults I work with would survive in a real dangerous situation on their own! Again, taxis are safe in Dubai, public transport is safe in Dubai and yeah, maybe there are some dodgy individuals but your daughters need to learn how to avoid or face these people. When I was a teenager in Europe I had a couple of scary situations with depraved men and I was able to overcome the situations by myself (mobile phones where no so widely available then). Unfortunately it is something that we all ladies need to learn. The sooner we learn it by ourselves the better and no, you won´t be able to be always there to protect them. I am just giving my opinion because sometimes, in my job, it is difficult to believe how naïf and underprepared for the real world my students are. Honestly, I do not think some of them will get a job any time soon. And the reason some of them are like these is because they are overprotected. have just realised that if all Jewels' posts are based on what she sees in British soaps, much can be explained.... Jewels - it is fiction, they are not real....

If I was a mother of a teenager daughter here in Dubai, I would not wish for her to behave as many do in the UK. One can still raise them independently but naturally different to a UK resident in the Uk. Standards have dropped dramatically in the UK over the past 30 years and certainly would not want my children's children to be independant and living like those in Cornation street, East enders and Emmerdale . What a way of life and its considered normal and acceptable . Common denominator is lowering all the time. When you were a teenager in Europe you did not have the amount of men and living in conditions like here. If you don´t let your teenagers to take a taxi or public transport freely when they are in Dubai (in my opinion much safer than any big city in Europe) how are they going to cope in a few years when they are in "the real world" on their own in a new city with new people? How are they going to be able to pay their bills, ask for a student loan or even buy organize theirselves for an exam? Some young adults (18-21 years old) in this country behave as if everybody would be at their service all the time and some young ladies think they are princess - How are they going to cope, for example, with their first “real” boyfriend? I have been working with young adults both in the UK and UAE and believe me, young adults in UAE are like 15 years old in Europe. If you are going to send your children to Europe to get University education (something that I strongly recommend) they need to be ready for the real world. Due to the lifestyle children in Dubai are spoiled and overprotected, they don´t have access to real hazards here (i.e. alcohol, drugs and s_x widley available) so to be honest, I don´t know how some of these young adults I work with would survive in a real dangerous situation on their own! Again, taxis are safe in Dubai, public transport is safe in Dubai and yeah, maybe there are some dodgy individuals but your daughters need to learn how to avoid or face these people. When I was a teenager in Europe I had a couple of scary situations with depraved men and I was able to overcome the situations by myself (mobile phones where no so widely available then). Unfortunately it is something that we all ladies need to learn. The sooner we learn it by ourselves the better and no, you won´t be able to be always there to protect them. I am just giving my opinion because sometimes, in my job, it is difficult to believe how naïf and underprepared for the real world my students are. Honestly, I do not think some of them will get a job any time soon. And the reason some of them are like these is because they are overprotected. have just realised that if all Jewels' posts are based on what she sees in British soaps, much can be explained.... Jewels - it is fiction, they are not real....

If I was a mother of a teenager daughter here in Dubai, I would not wish for her to behave as many do in the UK. One can still raise them independently but naturally different to a UK resident in the Uk. Standards have dropped dramatically in the UK over the past 30 years and certainly would not want my children's children to be independant and living like those in Cornation street, East enders and Emmerdale . What a way of life and its considered normal and acceptable . Common denominator is lowering all the time. When you were a teenager in Europe you did not have the amount of men and living in conditions like here. If you don´t let your teenagers to take a taxi or public transport freely when they are in Dubai (in my opinion much safer than any big city in Europe) how are they going to cope in a few years when they are in "the real world" on their own in a new city with new people? How are they going to be able to pay their bills, ask for a student loan or even buy organize theirselves for an exam? Some young adults (18-21 years old) in this country behave as if everybody would be at their service all the time and some young ladies think they are princess - How are they going to cope, for example, with their first “real” boyfriend? I have been working with young adults both in the UK and UAE and believe me, young adults in UAE are like 15 years old in Europe. If you are going to send your children to Europe to get University education (something that I strongly recommend) they need to be ready for the real world. Due to the lifestyle children in Dubai are spoiled and overprotected, they don´t have access to real hazards here (i.e. alcohol, drugs and s_x widley available) so to be honest, I don´t know how some of these young adults I work with would survive in a real dangerous situation on their own! Again, taxis are safe in Dubai, public transport is safe in Dubai and yeah, maybe there are some dodgy individuals but your daughters need to learn how to avoid or face these people. When I was a teenager in Europe I had a couple of scary situations with depraved men and I was able to overcome the situations by myself (mobile phones where no so widely available then). Unfortunately it is something that we all ladies need to learn. The sooner we learn it by ourselves the better and no, you won´t be able to be always there to protect them. I am just giving my opinion because sometimes, in my job, it is difficult to believe how naïf and underprepared for the real world my students are. Honestly, I do not think some of them will get a job any time soon. And the reason some of them are like these is because they are overprotected.

[i'>they don´t have access to real hazards here (i.e. alcohol, drugs and s_x widley available)[/i'> according to my teen these things are easier to get than they were at home !! lol Please, ask your teen where I can find them! LMAO !!! which of the 3 in particular ?? lol seriously - the first two are easily available around Arabian Ranches and i presume the 3rd is a tad trickier but we don't talk about it much...he knows what can happen if something er "goes wrong" and likes living here so fortunately that seems to be enough of a deterrent :-)

[i'>they don´t have access to real hazards here (i.e. alcohol, drugs and s_x widley available)[/i'> according to my teen these things are easier to get than they were at home !! lol Please, ask your teen where I can find them!

[i'>they don´t have access to real hazards here (i.e. alcohol, drugs and s_x widley available)[/i'> according to my teen these things are easier to get than they were at home !! lol

If you don´t let your teenagers to take a taxi or public transport freely when they are in Dubai (in my opinion much safer than any big city in Europe) how are they going to cope in a few years when they are in "the real world" on their own in a new city with new people? How are they going to be able to pay their bills, ask for a student loan or even buy organize theirselves for an exam? Some young adults (18-21 years old) in this country behave as if everybody would be at their service all the time and some young ladies think they are princess - How are they going to cope, for example, with their first “real” boyfriend? I have been working with young adults both in the UK and UAE and believe me, young adults in UAE are like 15 years old in Europe. If you are going to send your children to Europe to get University education (something that I strongly recommend) they need to be ready for the real world. Due to the lifestyle children in Dubai are spoiled and overprotected, they don´t have access to real hazards here (i.e. alcohol, drugs and s_x widley available) so to be honest, I don´t know how some of these young adults I work with would survive in a real dangerous situation on their own! Again, taxis are safe in Dubai, public transport is safe in Dubai and yeah, maybe there are some dodgy individuals but your daughters need to learn how to avoid or face these people. When I was a teenager in Europe I had a couple of scary situations with depraved men and I was able to overcome the situations by myself (mobile phones where no so widely available then). Unfortunately it is something that we all ladies need to learn. The sooner we learn it by ourselves the better and no, you won´t be able to be always there to protect them. I am just giving my opinion because sometimes, in my job, it is difficult to believe how naïf and underprepared for the real world my students are. Honestly, I do not think some of them will get a job any time soon. And the reason some of them are like these is because they are overprotected.

I hear this is very very common in London and children from some schools target other children from private school and from what I have been told often the children from private schools now carry a cheap mobile as they have had many stolen. I understand bullying is a big problem in the Uk and the sooner people say stop and put a stop to it the better, it is not a normal part and acceptable part of growing up . Unfortunately their are too many people who feel you just need to learn to deal with it rather than teaching people to learn to stop someone they see doing the bullying. It may also depend on what culture you may be from ? Bullying was not accepted when I was growing up and people stood up for one another, not something you see much of in todays world, sad to write. Lol..this is kinda funny. Kids in the UK take buses to school when they're 11 allll the time... I've been bullied by boisterous school kids on London buses, been pickpocketed, and have even had a psycho sitting next to me start W@NKING!!! Can't see any of that happening over here thank God!

I don't think you can really compare Dubai to Uk or other major cities with regards to 14 year olds and younger using taxis . Buses are different in Dubai and easier and safer for them to use . In a country like U A E there are many many men who never see their wives, and others who think females are there for their enjoyment and satisfaction and unfortunately the way many of the female teens dress ( and adults) does make it difficult for mens looks to be avoided. Dress is very important not to encourage unneeded attention and if ones dresses looking for attention and too revealing it may generate problems. I would not allow a 14 year old female to use any taxi but if one had a regular taxi driver who was known to the family that is different. I have been shocked over the years when I have heard parents allowing girls 12 to 14 allowed go in taxis late at night 10pm /11pm to go home because parents are too lazy not to drink alcohol and go and pick up their child. If something happened I bet their anger would be towards anyone but their daughters or themselves.

My DD and DS take the RTA bus from school when I cannot collect them. It goes from school to very near our house. They have been doing this since they were 15 and 12. My maid used to collect them by taxi which I thought was fine until the children told me that the beeper (i.e. for speeding) was going off for the whole journey and my maid hadn't said anything. I actually prefer the bus for them as there are other teenagers travelling and they obey the speed limits. I usually do everything possible to avoid DD getting a taxi (lift-sharing a lot with other parents) but if she has had to she h it is not alone and she phones me with the taxi number (making sure the taxi driver hears that she is calling her Mum with this information). I have also told them what to do if the driver is speeding etc. I do think we tread a very fine line as parents between keeping them safe and letting them have some independence. My daughter could be at University in 2 years living completely independently with us not even in the same country so I do think I have a duty to "train" her up to cope safely with public transport. My suggestion would be to start slowly and build up over the next year or so. Agree a plan with your husband as to what you feel comfortable with. You said you have told her not to get into taxis with her friends just be aware that this may mean she is left on her own if this is how the others are getting home. You need to decide what is preferable in each situation. Hope this helps.

My 16 years old takes taxi all the time. What i ask her is to call Dubai Taxi and not to take a taxi in the street. She sms when she is in and out. At night she has to be with a friend. She was going to school on her own in Paris at 9 years old, so i find it quite strange to think that because we are in Dubai, she will have to be with me all the time like a little girl that she is not anymore.

This thread also interests me. TBH I'm not sure all buses in the UK are quite like that, most people manage to get back and forth to school and work daily without the horrid incident experienced by desertprincess. And yes most children attending state school will have to get the bus, parents working, too far to walk. It really is quite common and does put children here at a disadvantage when they go back to the real world. Every summer our Ds has a bus pass in the UK to get him up to speed, he goes out and about with his freinds to the next town and so on. Am I nervous? Yes, did I get the bus younger than him? Yes. We can only do our best and that to my mind is discussion about what to do, what might happen and how to handle it sensibly. Sadly here we do not live near either a bus stop or the metro. ArorahaDXB I am agog at you crossing a state highway, even in the UK these are 3 lanes in either direction and illegal to cross, and this was so even back in my day (which I am fairly confident was before your day).

I am deeply fascinated by this thread...we were just the other day discussing how our lives at 5 and 6 were so so different from my daughters life. Disregarding all the other differences and focusing solely on transport...at 5 I walked to school, alone, across many roads including a state highway. Mind you, back then seatbelts werent law either so general circumstances have changed somewhat. The 'bubble' our kids live in concerns me, and I think it's certainly food for thought to bear in mind that our children may not live in this environment all their lives, and they do need to learn some independence so they are capable of being able to cope in different circumstances, if that makes sense? It was highlighted to me back in NZ last summer at a playground..lil miss was playing, and behaving as she does in a playground here...orderly ques, taking turns etc, while typical kiwi bratlings just walk all over each other...she was upset and terrified. Now, how is that preparing her for the real world? and how is that giving her the skills to survive in a competitive world? (her preparation being the mannners taught in a playground here) Now while I love that the kids are so respectful of each other at her school and something to be proud of...it won't cut any mustard if she finds herself back in NZ in a typical primary school! I can't comment on the teens thing, nor what I will or won't do when out time comes for this, because who knows!...like all things it seems to be a balancing act...their safety, their growth. Parenthood, it's a blast hey.

Lol..this is kinda funny. Kids in the UK take buses to school when they're 11 allll the time... I've been bullied by boisterous school kids on London buses, been pickpocketed, and have even had a psycho sitting next to me start W@NKING!!! Can't see any of that happening over here thank God! Blimey !!! have never had anything like that...and i wouldn't have let my 11 year old catch a service bus on his own so i don't think that applies to everyone in the UK.. Yes, of course every family has different circumstances, but most kids who travel to go to a decent secondary school have to use some kind of public transport, especially if the parents work and can't drop them off, or if the traffic's too bad etc! The w@nking thing happened when I was 15. I was mortified and jumped off the bus 3 stops early and was too scared to get on another!

Lol..this is kinda funny. Kids in the UK take buses to school when they're 11 allll the time... I've been bullied by boisterous school kids on London buses, been pickpocketed, and have even had a psycho sitting next to me start W@NKING!!! Can't see any of that happening over here thank God! Blimey !!! have never had anything like that...and i wouldn't have let my 11 year old catch a service bus on his own so i don't think that applies to everyone in the UK..

Lol..this is kinda funny. Kids in the UK take buses to school when they're 11 allll the time... I've been bullied by boisterous school kids on London buses, been pickpocketed, and have even had a psycho sitting next to me start W@NKING!!! Can't see any of that happening over here thank God!

our teen has been using taxis, buses and metro since we moved here. I worry a lot less than i ever did at home !! He's never asked us for a lift anywhere, preferring to travel with friends.. Not sure if we would feel the same if he was a girl though... Hah! Ain't that the truth :)

our teen has been using taxis, buses and metro since we moved here. I worry a lot less than i ever did at home !! He's never asked us for a lift anywhere, preferring to travel with friends.. Not sure if we would feel the same if he was a girl though...

Yeah, nimonemo! So hard to tread a fine line as a parent between letting go and making your children able to become responsible adults and protecting them from harm. Dubai is a good place for this, I feel, there is less danger than in Europe, they can grow up more responsibly here. That's just my feeling as the parent of an almost 16 year old - they're not babies, but not adults either and need to be shown the way.

I am astonished reading this tread. I do not have children yet but I work with young adults (18-21 years old) who have grown up in Dubai and now I understand why they are so immature. If you leave these young adults alone in a city like Manchester or Glasgow they will be in all sorts of trouble! Dubai is the safest place I have ever lived. I usually go out at nights on my own (wearing western cloths) and I have never had any problem with anybody. I do not recognize the place you are describing at all! Seriously, leave your children behave normally, you cannot imagine how incapable are young adults in this country in comparison with kids who were raised in other UK and European cities. Your fear is only going to make your children unsecured and spoiled and they have to be ready to face the real world as soon as they go to uni outside the UAE or work.

AR, let her do this gently, to start with, with friends. If you're sure she will be living in a different country/city than you, later on, you know you have to get her accustomed to fending for herself, and here is as good a place as any. If her father has the time to follow around wherever she goes with a shotgun, fine, but most parents have to earn their living to pay for their children's education, and can't afford to do that ;)

hi arancher, i have recently just started letting my 14 year old DD go on the bus but with another girlfriend, not alone.. and taxis are a no go still!. She came from the beach a few weeks ago in a taxi but as they had taken extra time to arrive home, i learnt that they stopped at mcdonalds, went thru the drive n and they did not get dressed into leggings as instructed as they were in shorts!!.. SO taxis are banned once again.. I am the type of person that always thinks of worst case scenario and if she was on her own and the bus broke down, then what.. taxi or waiting on side of street alone..no thanks.. debs hh