Is 3 years old too young for summer camp? DD refused to go today!

Oh, I've had to chuckle as this thread develops. Every three-year-old is different and every three-year-old will react to structured sessions - such as summer camp - differently. There could be many reasons why the OP's LO didn't want to go that particular day (and, let's face it, many of those could simply be toddler 'I-don't-want-to' reasons). On the face of it I definitely don't think she's trying to farm her kids out because she can't be bothered to look after them, as some posters have so eloquently suggested. We all do what we need to do. Rumour, come back when you have kids. I don't mean that in a mean way but honestly, you can have all the plans in the world and you simply have no clue how it's going to be when it actually happens. I was never, ever, ever going to let a child of mine play with things just to shut them up/feed them snacks for an extra ten minutes in the supermarket/let them throw food/give them chocolate/and so on. Then I had a child. @ Dubaicat Loved your post. @Rumour I think you have valid points but just touching on your posts some of your responses are very angry. I think what many are saying is you don't have to agree with the origional poster, everyone is entitled to an opinion. How you voice that opinion is important. A very valid point is when you have had children many of the pre concieved ideas we have go right out of the window. I always remember the saying " unless you have walked a mile in my shoes ". @Two kids I was a stay at home mom,my grandchildren have had to go to day care from age 1. I can honestly say that they are well rounded enjoy day care and cry when they can't go when sick. The fact that you came on the forum to ask adivice is an indication of just how seriously you are looking at all issues. All the best.

So just because i didn't know the timescale for breastfeeding a kid my opinions are not valid? did you know everything there is to know about kids and babies before you had any? i bet you didn't, does that mean all your opinions before you had kids were not valid? Read my previous post. I had very strong opinions on motherhood before becoming a mum... and it turned out very few were valid. In fact, I knew very, very little! The thing about having kids is that, well, you have a child - another human being... who isn't you, doesn't abide by the rules you may have concocted before it was born and certainly doesn't care much about your theories. If you don't learn to adapt and reassess yourself, you will only end up unhappy. edited by Hello.Again.Kitty on 13/07/2011 sorry i highlighted you by mistake it was meant for another poster

as it happens Trish, [b'>my mother[/b'> fought for some of those rights in her home country and it has afforded me a better life! And she raised me to respect the achievements of my elders! Tell me, what is there to despair about?

@ Rumour, women lib movement did more harm than good! that's quite possible the stupidest thing you've said so far (and that's counting your "advice" on how to raise children you don't yet have). Let's see: - right to vote - right to have access to contraception - right to terminate unwanted pregnancies - right to own property - access to education - maternity leaves / pregnancy discrimination act - the fight against se*ual harassment - the right to say NO and mean NO - recognising domestic violence and worse to name but a few! I know this is totally off topic but I couldnt let that be said ... you do know that women have been intimidated, brutalised and emprisoned fighting for those rights? Show some respect! ERRRR...........I think it was my mother's and my generation who fought for, and won those rights? What have you done for your *** today? Sometimes I despair of you girls. ETA.......none of these rights were dependent on abrogating our maternal responsibilities........we worked around our children's most vulnerable years. <em>edited by Livelytrish on 13/07/2011</em>

So just because i didn't know the timescale for breastfeeding a kid my opinions are not valid? did you know everything there is to know about kids and babies before you had any? i bet you didn't, does that mean all your opinions before you had kids were not valid? Read my previous post. I had very strong opinions on motherhood before becoming a mum... and it turned out very few were valid. In fact, I knew very, very little! The thing about having kids is that, well, you have a child - another human being... who isn't you, doesn't abide by the rules you may have concocted before it was born and certainly doesn't care much about your theories. If you don't learn to adapt and reassess yourself, you will only end up unhappy. <em>edited by Hello.Again.Kitty on 13/07/2011</em>

Not prejudiced at all..........just my opinion..........sorry if it doesn't concur with yours. And no, not just Dubai........although it does seem to be a common phenomenon there.possibly because UAE is a far harsher economic reality than many people realised, but IMHO......small children should have their mother as primary care giver. That may not sit too well with the budget, or one's sense of self importance.........but not only the studies, but millennia of generations' experience would appear to prove it as a fact. Sometimes I seriously wonder what an alien observer would think of some of the posts on EW..............between the pleas for help on infertility ........and the posts looking for day care for weeks old babes....... it does seem as though society sends out some very conflicting signals today. Sad.

@ Rumour, women lib movement did more harm than good! that's quite possible the stupidest thing you've said so far (and that's counting your "advice" on how to raise children you don't yet have). Let's see: - right to vote - right to have access to contraception - right to terminate unwanted pregnancies - right to own property - access to education - maternity leaves / pregnancy discrimination act - the fight against se*ual harassment - the right to say NO and mean NO - recognising domestic violence and worse to name but a few! I know this is totally off topic but I couldnt let that be said ... you do know that women have been intimidated, brutalised and emprisoned fighting for those rights? Show some respect!

Oh, I've had to chuckle as this thread develops. Every three-year-old is different and every three-year-old will react to structured sessions - such as summer camp - differently. There could be many reasons why the OP's LO didn't want to go that particular day (and, let's face it, many of those could simply be toddler 'I-don't-want-to' reasons). On the face of it I definitely don't think she's trying to farm her kids out because she can't be bothered to look after them, as some posters have so eloquently suggested. We all do what we need to do. Rumour, come back when you have kids. I don't mean that in a mean way but honestly, you can have all the plans in the world and you simply have no clue how it's going to be when it actually happens. I was never, ever, ever going to let a child of mine play with things just to shut them up/feed them snacks for an extra ten minutes in the supermarket/let them throw food/give them chocolate/and so on. Then I had a child.

And just because i am not a mum yet doesn't mean that i should not have an opinion on the subject or be thinking about what sort of mum i want to be!!! No, indeed not! Most of what the mums here are (and certainly I am) suggesting is that what we thought motherhood would be like and what the reality of motherhood actually is are two [b'>very[/b'> different things! I was one of the ones who would tut at screaming kids in shopping malls thinking that their parents were not doing their job properly... and then along came my most beloved DD, who started her spectacular tantrums at 13 months old and only stopped at 3.5years old... and of course, I came to realise that even with the best will in the world, I couldn't stop them. Now I give a sympathetic smile to the frazzled mum. So, basically, by all means have your opinions, but be prepared to have them blown out of the water by your own offspring!

Rumour - please re-read my post and tell me where I wrote that NOT staying home is better that staying home? I am not judging anyone's choices, but I am judging you! I find it quite audacious to be making such harsh comments to another Mum who is asking for help when you have none of your own! When you become a mother, if ever, you will soon learn that each family has to make choices based on their family situation. OP needed to go to an interview, she wanted her kid to have fun, she wanted some quality time with her baby - is this a crime? You totally implied that and you had a dig about my mum making egg sandwiches with me. AND IF YOUR READ MY POSTS you will see i have said half a dozen times that my post had nothing to do with the op leaving her kid for one day it was why people send their 3 year olds to school which is 5 days a week. And just because i am not a mum yet doesn't mean that i should not have an opinion on the subject or be thinking about what sort of mum i want to be!!!

I think the reason rumour felt the need the comment is because the title clearly asked the question "is 3 years too young for summer camp?" and she was giving her opinion - which is YES. I myself find it hard to understand why young children who cannot communicate their needs are sent to the care of fairly unqualifed caregivers here when their mothers don't even work. Children need to be socialised but not from birth to 3 years - those are the ages when mothers are the most important and while daycares and nurseries are hugely popular, strangers who have no emotional attachment to our kids spending large parts of the days bringing up really young children is detrimental to our society. I know of 1 year olds in the UK who spend 8 am- 6 pm in nursery and come home and fall asleep. Dr. Peter cooks book- mothering denied is an excellent book to read- especially if it is your choice socially to put your really young child in a nursery facilty when most studies show they are less stressed and do better in school in later years if they are at home with thier mother. "the NICHD Network reported in American Educational Research Journal (39, 133-164) that, although higher quality childcare was associated with better cognitive performance at four and a half years, the more time during these years that these children had spent in any type of non-maternal childcare, regardless of its quality, the more assertiveness, disobedience and aggression they showed with adults, both in kindergarten and at home." NICHD studies also found that when children spent more time in childcare, their mothers displayed less sensitivity when interacting with them at six, 15, 24, and 36 months of age. Sensitive, responsive mothering through the early years was the best predictor of social competence at six years, which in turn predicts schooling success. Early childcare also precludes longer breastfeeding, which, besides better health, leads to significantly higher IQs in adults. For example, those breastfed for 9 months, averaged 6 points higher IQ as young adults. (Journal of the American Medical Association, May 8, 2002). The movement for women's "liberation", while advancing women in the workplace, devalued and undermined their role as mothers. This denied infants' needs for mothering, and mothers' needs to provide it. There was another long term survery done by Penelope Leach in 1997, which also mirroed the same result. Children who spent early years with their mothers, by the third grade, were better , behaved, less aggressive and had higher etst scores. Just joining the debate- not trying to offend anybody...:) Agree absolutely.............and the OP's post gave away her motivation..........she has a job interview. Sorry but in my opinion........sometimes you can't have it all, all at once. Small children need real care.........not bargain basement straight off the boat third world keepers. Totally agree. i sometimes think that the women lib movement did more harm than good. Back in my gran's day she was happy to stay at home and cook and clean, nowadays it's almost a dirty word to stay your a stay at home mum. its destroyed family life.

I though you stopped breastfeeding at about 6 months? i'm thinking at 2 they have teeth.ouch.ouch.ouch LOL And that exactly shows why your opinions has been invalidated :D Hehe - indeed! Rumour, whilst I actually kind of agree with you, the biggest lesson you will learn when you do become a mum is that things don't always turn out the way you thought they would and that everyone is different and perfectly entitled to decide for themselves what is best for [i'>them[/i'>. Oh, and teeth don't hurt whilst breastfeeding - kiddo has his/her tongue over their bottom teeth and the top teeth don't get in the way.

Rumour - please re-read my post and tell me where I wrote that NOT staying home is better that staying home? I am not judging anyone's choices, but I am judging you! I find it quite audacious to be making such harsh comments to another Mum who is asking for help when you have none of your own! When you become a mother, if ever, you will soon learn that each family has to make choices based on their family situation. OP needed to go to an interview, she wanted her kid to have fun, she wanted some quality time with her baby - is this a crime?

And all this on the same forum which has castigated the idea of leaving MUCH older children alone in various play centres?

Has anyone stopped for a moment to consider that maybe the poor little girl may have had a bad experience whilst at the summer camp? Maybe some other kids bullied her... anything could have happened as I doubt the adults in charge would be able to see 'everything' that goes on. And as someone mentioned earlier on, its not like the quality of all the staff in charge would be... hmmm, how should I say this? Qualified (!!!???). Maybe I am way off the track here, but who really knows? I understand our babies do have to 'leave the nest' at some stage, but my personal opinion is 3yrs is too young for a summer camp.

That's too simplified. Yes, in most cases a mother is the best qualified person to look after her kids but that doesn't mean she has to be with them 24/7 - jeez that's enough to turn any saint to drink! It'a about striking a balance and taking time off from being xxxxx's mummy. A happy mummy helps create a happy child; a stressed mummy does not a harmonious family make. It does kids the world of good too to be able to spend time with other people apart from their mother occasionally but sometimes things don't pan out as planned, which is what happened in the OP's case. It's life, it happens. She's talking about her child being out of the home for half a day, 5 days a week. She's not turning the care of her child over to a childless, young, reckless housemaid all day every day.

Why can't everyone just CHILL OUT! Geez... a 3 yr old will cry at some time or another when going to school/camp/kindergarten etc - period! We don't need statistics, research and articles to tell us this. Come on! You have gone way too far! They are 3! They are kids! They cry!!! Twokids - your child is perfectly NORMAL!!!!!! Maybe your child was not ready this week, but doesn't mean to say others at the same age aren't also! Rumour, are you surprised that you were attacked about your post? Go back and read the WAY you wrote it. The mother was asking for help and you just slapped her in the face!!!!! And don't hide behind your words' this is not directed at the OP, how ridiculous! You just offended every single mother out there who has a child of 3 yrs or under in child care. There are many other extremely happy little children out there, who go to summer camp/school/nursery (let's face it, they all have the same activities at 3 yrs old as they learn through play). My 3 yr old goes to summer camp and can't get enough of it! He loves his kindergarten and will go to FS1 in Sep. He comes home with new songs, paintings, drawings, arts & crafts etc that I would either one, never have the time to do, or two, even think of half the stuff he does. He can also have play dates with his friends, yes HIS FRIENDS and not MY friends that I want to have coffee with. He has developed very strong social skills and is having a BALL! My DD who is now 6, also started FS1 at 3 yrs and is doing remarkably well, is extremely social and very talented. What counts the most is BALANCE based on your family, your children and your situation. There is plenty of time after school or kindergarten to bake cakes, collect shells or whatever. For some, they WANT to have them home, so good on them! Others want their children to socialize and have some much needed time for themselves - good on them too. There are no matyrs here.... Two kids - no need to psychoanalyse - just go with the flow! what and you think that stay at home mums don't get offended by being told having your kid in day care/ school at 3 years is better for the kid.? you can't have it both ways you know , you think sending your kid to school at 3 was best for them bully for you, i happen to think that it's better for a 3 year old to be with their Mum, i'ts a difference of opinion, just cause you don't like it doesn't make your argument any stronger than mine!!!!

I think the reason rumour felt the need the comment is because the title clearly asked the question "is 3 years too young for summer camp?" and she was giving her opinion - which is YES. I myself find it hard to understand why young children who cannot communicate their needs are sent to the care of fairly unqualifed caregivers here when their mothers don't even work. Children need to be socialised but not from birth to 3 years - those are the ages when mothers are the most important and while daycares and nurseries are hugely popular, strangers who have no emotional attachment to our kids spending large parts of the days bringing up really young children is detrimental to our society. I know of 1 year olds in the UK who spend 8 am- 6 pm in nursery and come home and fall asleep. Dr. Peter cooks book- mothering denied is an excellent book to read- especially if it is your choice socially to put your really young child in a nursery facilty when most studies show they are less stressed and do better in school in later years if they are at home with thier mother. "the NICHD Network reported in American Educational Research Journal (39, 133-164) that, although higher quality childcare was associated with better cognitive performance at four and a half years, the more time during these years that these children had spent in any type of non-maternal childcare, regardless of its quality, the more assertiveness, disobedience and aggression they showed with adults, both in kindergarten and at home." NICHD studies also found that when children spent more time in childcare, their mothers displayed less sensitivity when interacting with them at six, 15, 24, and 36 months of age. Sensitive, responsive mothering through the early years was the best predictor of social competence at six years, which in turn predicts schooling success. Early childcare also precludes longer breastfeeding, which, besides better health, leads to significantly higher IQs in adults. For example, those breastfed for 9 months, averaged 6 points higher IQ as young adults. (Journal of the American Medical Association, May 8, 2002). The movement for women's "liberation", while advancing women in the workplace, devalued and undermined their role as mothers. This denied infants' needs for mothering, and mothers' needs to provide it. There was another long term survery done by Penelope Leach in 1997, which also mirroed the same result. Children who spent early years with their mothers, by the third grade, were better , behaved, less aggressive and had higher etst scores. Just joining the debate- not trying to offend anybody...:) Agree absolutely.............and the OP's post gave away her motivation..........she has a job interview. Sorry but in my opinion........sometimes you can't have it all, all at once. Small children need real care.........not bargain basement straight off the boat third world keepers.

Rumour, how many kids do you have and whats the age gap? I have 2 kids, 25months and 5 months. And its really difficult to keep the older one entertained all the time. He is bored at home. And then he gets cranky.. his sleep gets messed up cos he isnt tired enough. I cant sit with him all day when I have another baby and other chores at home to do. I cant send him to run outside cos its so hot. I cant go to soft play areas like mini monster cos i have a baby to keep an eye on as well. So he just started playschool last week (here in doha)nand I have a whole thread about that in the mum,bumps forum. Of course, i dint want to send him till he was 3.5yrs.. but the again we dint plan to have a baby so quickly either.. He seems to be having fun at playschool... he makes all this funky art stuff.. he tells me stuff he does at school in his one-word language (which i do understand). Overall I think he is happier and it shows on him, which makes me happy. So in answer to your Q op, I think 3 is fine. If you can entertain her at home, that is the best. But if you arent able to make egg sandwiches at home with her, its ok to send her to summer camp. Oh and by "Summer Camp".. i think the op actually means a nursery/playschool for the summer. I highly doubt if there are hardcore cummer camps for 3yr olds out there.. are there? i don't have kids yet and one of the reasons is cause i know myself i'm not emotionally, mentally or financially able to be the sort of mum that i want to be and that's a stay at home mum, the sort of mum my mum was. I mentioned the making egg sandwiches cause it was something that i distinctly remember doing with my mum and you can laugh all you want but funnily enough i don't have any memories of making funky art stuff at school or anything else that means something to me for that matter. i'm not being horrible but if you are not able to give your eldest child the attention that they need why did you have another one? I mean seriously sometimes i think some women just turn out kids, then they find they can't cope and herd them off to wherever and then come up with justifications as to why they are not the best person to look after them, if your not the best person to look after your own kids then why have them in the first place?

Why can't everyone just CHILL OUT! Geez... a 3 yr old will cry at some time or another when going to school/camp/kindergarten etc - period! We don't need statistics, research and articles to tell us this. Come on! You have gone way too far! They are 3! They are kids! They cry!!! Twokids - your child is perfectly NORMAL!!!!!! Maybe your child was not ready this week, but doesn't mean to say others at the same age aren't also! Rumour, are you surprised that you were attacked about your post? Go back and read the WAY you wrote it. The mother was asking for help and you just slapped her in the face!!!!! And don't hide behind your words' this is not directed at the OP, how ridiculous! You just offended every single mother out there who has a child of 3 yrs or under in child care. There are many other extremely happy little children out there, who go to summer camp/school/nursery (let's face it, they all have the same activities at 3 yrs old as they learn through play). My 3 yr old goes to summer camp and can't get enough of it! He loves his kindergarten and will go to FS1 in Sep. He comes home with new songs, paintings, drawings, arts & crafts etc that I would either one, never have the time to do, or two, even think of half the stuff he does. He can also have play dates with his friends, yes HIS FRIENDS and not MY friends that I want to have coffee with. He has developed very strong social skills and is having a BALL! My DD who is now 6, also started FS1 at 3 yrs and is doing remarkably well, is extremely social and very talented. What counts the most is BALANCE based on your family, your children and your situation. There is plenty of time after school or kindergarten to bake cakes, collect shells or whatever. For some, they WANT to have them home, so good on them! Others want their children to socialize and have some much needed time for themselves - good on them too. There are no matyrs here.... Two kids - no need to psychoanalyse - just go with the flow!

Rumour, how many kids do you have and whats the age gap? I have 2 kids, 25months and 5 months. And its really difficult to keep the older one entertained all the time. He is bored at home. And then he gets cranky.. his sleep gets messed up cos he isnt tired enough. I cant sit with him all day when I have another baby and other chores at home to do. I cant send him to run outside cos its so hot. I cant go to soft play areas like mini monster cos i have a baby to keep an eye on as well. So he just started playschool last week (here in doha)nand I have a whole thread about that in the mum,bumps forum. Of course, i dint want to send him till he was 3.5yrs.. but the again we dint plan to have a baby so quickly either.. He seems to be having fun at playschool... he makes all this funky art stuff.. he tells me stuff he does at school in his one-word language (which i do understand). Overall I think he is happier and it shows on him, which makes me happy. So in answer to your Q op, I think 3 is fine. If you can entertain her at home, that is the best. But if you arent able to make egg sandwiches at home with her, its ok to send her to summer camp. Oh and by "Summer Camp".. i think the op actually means a nursery/playschool for the summer. I highly doubt if there are hardcore cummer camps for 3yr olds out there.. are there?

As a mother who's breastfed her DD for over two years, I frankly don't see the need that baby/toddler must be permanently attached to the b**b to maintain a BF relationship. I think the notion that the mother must be constantly present by her LO's side like some 24 hour gas station makes BF nigh near impossible to maintain. This maybe why many mothers feel they need to give up BF because work commitments or the idea that they need to be available 24/7 seems difficult work, when in fact BF is neither that difficult nor demanding. You don't need to have your b**b on tap day and night to maintain your supply. The days or constant feedings are only required in the early days to establish supply but once that is in place it is safe to drop feeds without supply being affected. I would know. I pump exclusively for DD2, and although I've reduced the number of pumps from 8/10 a day to only 2, my supply has gone down by maybe only 100ml. I still pump out over 1,300ml a day almost enough to feed twins, and I take no herbal supplements or medications to maintain supply. So surely if I can do that with a pump which is much more inefficient than a BF infant, it would be reasonable that as long as the infant is feeding well even with a reduced number of feeds, his/her intake won't necessarily go down. To answer the OP, my DD is three years old, and although I don't have her in nursery or summer camp, I know she would benefit immensely if she were enrolled in one. There is only so much stimulation I can provide her at home when I have a 6 month old infant to look after as well, and going outdoors is difficult with the heat. The only reason I don't have her in one is because we are leaving to Singapore in a month, and it doesn't make sense to acclimitise her to a new routine only to uproot her in a few weeks time and set her on a entirely different one. And as for backing up arguments with scientific studies, I find it best to get it straight from the horse's mouth rather than a website which had cited the article to make its point, maybe up to the point of out of context. Citing from the article: Once again we are left to conclude that early child care is [b'>associated with both advantages and disadvantages[/b'>, having discerned evidence of consistent ([b'>but small[/b'>) effects of child-care experience through the primary grades. I highlighted small because while the difference may be there, they are ever so slight between the two groups. The study itself cautioned against taking the correlations for face value as they do not take into account, other factors including family background and child-care experiences. The entire article is here: http://www.imfcanada.org/article_files/Omnibus2-without_tables.pdf

I think the reason rumour felt the need the comment is because the title clearly asked the question "is 3 years too young for summer camp?" and she was giving her opinion - which is YES. I myself find it hard to understand why young children who cannot communicate their needs are sent to the care of fairly unqualifed caregivers here when their mothers don't even work. Children need to be socialised but not from birth to 3 years - those are the ages when mothers are the most important and while daycares and nurseries are hugely popular, strangers who have no emotional attachment to our kids spending large parts of the days bringing up really young children is detrimental to our society. I know of 1 year olds in the UK who spend 8 am- 6 pm in nursery and come home and fall asleep. Dr. Peter cooks book- mothering denied is an excellent book to read- especially if it is your choice socially to put your really young child in a nursery facilty when most studies show they are less stressed and do better in school in later years if they are at home with thier mother. "the NICHD Network reported in American Educational Research Journal (39, 133-164) that, although higher quality childcare was associated with better cognitive performance at four and a half years, the more time during these years that these children had spent in any type of non-maternal childcare, regardless of its quality, the more assertiveness, disobedience and aggression they showed with adults, both in kindergarten and at home." NICHD studies also found that when children spent more time in childcare, their mothers displayed less sensitivity when interacting with them at six, 15, 24, and 36 months of age. Sensitive, responsive mothering through the early years was the best predictor of social competence at six years, which in turn predicts schooling success. Early childcare also precludes longer breastfeeding, which, besides better health, leads to significantly higher IQs in adults. For example, those breastfed for 9 months, averaged 6 points higher IQ as young adults. (Journal of the American Medical Association, May 8, 2002). The movement for women's "liberation", while advancing women in the workplace, devalued and undermined their role as mothers. This denied infants' needs for mothering, and mothers' needs to provide it. There was another long term survery done by Penelope Leach in 1997, which also mirroed the same result. Children who spent early years with their mothers, by the third grade, were better , behaved, less aggressive and had higher etst scores. Just joining the debate- not trying to offend anybody...:) nicely said... thank you for taking the time to write. edited by asouheir on 13/07/2011 I agree with this statement and I surely would have kept both my children with me until school age but I had little choice in the matter. My DS went to creche full-time a 4 months old as I had to go back to work. My DD was lucky to have had me as long as she did because when we moved here from Geneva, I didn't have to go back to work immediately. I see absolutely no difference in my children related to how much time they did or didn't spen with me. They are both grounded and happy in their own ways. That said, I do think 3 is too young to trundle a dchild off to Summer Camp. It is not the same nurturning environment as a creche or school. It can be very stressful for a little child as they need to be relatively confident and independant. edited by derien on 13/07/2011 <em>edited by derien on 13/07/2011</em>

I think the reason rumour felt the need the comment is because the title clearly asked the question "is 3 years too young for summer camp?" and she was giving her opinion - which is YES. I myself find it hard to understand why young children who cannot communicate their needs are sent to the care of fairly unqualifed caregivers here when their mothers don't even work. Children need to be socialised but not from birth to 3 years - those are the ages when mothers are the most important and while daycares and nurseries are hugely popular, strangers who have no emotional attachment to our kids spending large parts of the days bringing up really young children is detrimental to our society. I know of 1 year olds in the UK who spend 8 am- 6 pm in nursery and come home and fall asleep. Dr. Peter cooks book- mothering denied is an excellent book to read- especially if it is your choice socially to put your really young child in a nursery facilty when most studies show they are less stressed and do better in school in later years if they are at home with thier mother. "the NICHD Network reported in American Educational Research Journal (39, 133-164) that, although higher quality childcare was associated with better cognitive performance at four and a half years, the more time during these years that these children had spent in any type of non-maternal childcare, regardless of its quality, the more assertiveness, disobedience and aggression they showed with adults, both in kindergarten and at home." NICHD studies also found that when children spent more time in childcare, their mothers displayed less sensitivity when interacting with them at six, 15, 24, and 36 months of age. Sensitive, responsive mothering through the early years was the best predictor of social competence at six years, which in turn predicts schooling success. Early childcare also precludes longer breastfeeding, which, besides better health, leads to significantly higher IQs in adults. For example, those breastfed for 9 months, averaged 6 points higher IQ as young adults. (Journal of the American Medical Association, May 8, 2002). The movement for women's "liberation", while advancing women in the workplace, devalued and undermined their role as mothers. This denied infants' needs for mothering, and mothers' needs to provide it. There was another long term survery done by Penelope Leach in 1997, which also mirroed the same result. Children who spent early years with their mothers, by the third grade, were better , behaved, less aggressive and had higher etst scores. Just joining the debate- not trying to offend anybody...:) nicely said... thank you for taking the time to write. <em>edited by asouheir on 13/07/2011</em>

Dont worry TwoKids, there will always be those who judge your decisions. As a parent, as long as you know you are doing the best for your children AND yourself, thats really all that matters, isn't it? Most of us are here with no family support, and yes, most of us find it hard work at some point. And i only have 1! Yeah well there is the question isn't it!!!! Is it best for a 3 year old to be in school or home with Mum. I would love to see some evidence to show that being in school is better for the child in the long run. What benefit is there in a child learning to read and write at say 4 rather than 6? If my mum had sent me to school when i was 3 sure i may have been able to read and write better but i would have missed out on all the lovely memories that i often think about when i am feeling a bit down in the dumps, like helping to make up egg sandwiches to take to the beach, or baking cakes and having tea parties in the garden or going fishing or decorating boxes with shells, which my Mum still has on her windowsill. What's more important to a 3 year old then?

If I had given in to my DS's whines and cries as a toddler and not encouraged him to socialise, he wouldn't be the fine young man he is today. He would have happily sat in his room and played with his lego day in and day out. Nothing wrong with that but as a tot he was painfully shy and we as parents were concerned about him. At 3 he went to playgroup kicking and screaming but settled once I left him and from the age of 6 we encouraged him to go through the Scout movement as his dad had done before him. He kicked up a fuss at every section change and didn't want to go. He is now almost 29 and is the local Scout leader having taken boys abroad and on many expeditions. He remembers being the way he was as a child and grateful to us for our perseverance with him. He loves Scouting and manages to combine his weekends away with his busy social life and job as an architect. Some children are super confident and need little encouragement (like my DD) but others need a bit of gentle coaxing if they are to become fulfilled adults. :)

I think the reason rumour felt the need the comment is because the title clearly asked the question "is 3 years too young for summer camp?" and she was giving her opinion - which is YES. I myself find it hard to understand why young children who cannot communicate their needs are sent to the care of fairly unqualifed caregivers here when their mothers don't even work. Children need to be socialised but not from birth to 3 years - those are the ages when mothers are the most important and while daycares and nurseries are hugely popular, strangers who have no emotional attachment to our kids spending large parts of the days bringing up really young children is detrimental to our society. I know of 1 year olds in the UK who spend 8 am- 6 pm in nursery and come home and fall asleep. Dr. Peter cooks book- mothering denied is an excellent book to read- especially if it is your choice socially to put your really young child in a nursery facilty when most studies show they are less stressed and do better in school in later years if they are at home with thier mother. "the NICHD Network reported in American Educational Research Journal (39, 133-164) that, although higher quality childcare was associated with better cognitive performance at four and a half years, the more time during these years that these children had spent in any type of non-maternal childcare, regardless of its quality, the more assertiveness, disobedience and aggression they showed with adults, both in kindergarten and at home." NICHD studies also found that when children spent more time in childcare, their mothers displayed less sensitivity when interacting with them at six, 15, 24, and 36 months of age. Sensitive, responsive mothering through the early years was the best predictor of social competence at six years, which in turn predicts schooling success. Early childcare also precludes longer breastfeeding, which, besides better health, leads to significantly higher IQs in adults. For example, those breastfed for 9 months, averaged 6 points higher IQ as young adults. (Journal of the American Medical Association, May 8, 2002). The movement for women's "liberation", while advancing women in the workplace, devalued and undermined their role as mothers. This denied infants' needs for mothering, and mothers' needs to provide it. There was another long term survery done by Penelope Leach in 1997, which also mirroed the same result. Children who spent early years with their mothers, by the third grade, were better , behaved, less aggressive and had higher etst scores. Just joining the debate- not trying to offend anybody...:)

Dear TwoKids, First I would like to say that it is entirely up to you and your child what age is appropriate for camp. My DS went to summer camp when hi was 1,8 and loved it. Since then he is going every year during summer and winter. I believe that if your child is mentally ready for something you should encourage it, that includes school. If your child is ready for school at 4 or even 3, why would you stop him/her from going to school?! All kids are very different and some are very fast in their development, especially girls. My DS is 2,5 now and he is almost ready for school, so whenever he reaches this stage, we will send him to school. For me it's up to him when he is ready. I don't want to impose someone else rules about what age he should be doing this or that. As for your DD not in the mood of going to the camp, I think you should spend a day with her in the camp. I know it's not easy, but it can be super fun and if the reason why she doesn't like it is because she feels alone and left there, you can actually show her that this is fun and there is nothing to be afraid of :) At the same time you can see what the camp is all about and if there is something that affects your child negatively. If that is the reason just stop taking her there and look for other camp. I spend 3 days with my DS the first time, it was super cool and fun :) He was next to me and not doing anything the first hour and then ..... no mama, no nothing :D having fun by himself and forgot about me :D I hope this helps. Just follow your child steps in development and don't listen too much what you should or shouldn't do. Your DD know better what she is ready for and what she is not :) Good luck and hope soon you and your DD will have lots of fun together at the camp :D

Good point simpleasabc!