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EWmums

EWfood

ewmoda

Nursery nightmare...

5

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 31 January 2011 - 23:28

I am so fed hearing that everyone seems to be sending their children to 'nursery' from as early as 1 year old in Dubai... all my friends here and people who I know through other people and even overhearing conversations between people I don't know...they all have their kids in a nursery...is this just a Dxb thing to get a bit of time on your hands away from our children cos it certainly isn't the norm in the UK and the friends that I have their are gobsmacked when I tell them! I really wonder if my daughter is missing out on something as I choose not to send her! I LOVE my time with her every day, doing different stuff, going different places, arty things, cooking, spending time with books, writing etc...and meeting her little friends regularly for playdates (on the days they don't go to nursery!) she will soon be 3 is a VERY confident, outgoing and switched on little girl, she can count to 20 with no mistakes, has been saying the full alphabet perfectly since she was 27 months, can write the first 3 letters of her name, can draw a perfect face with smile, eyes, nose, etc etc and can now tell me when its each 'o clock' of the day to name but a few things...I'm sure my opinions will cause some reaction here but I'm trying to understand the full reasons for this big Nursery Hype! What exactly are they gaining????

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 07 February 2011 - 21:23

We all do what's best for the wee ones :)

184

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 01 February 2011 - 16:30

And you know what I am sick of..these judgemental expatwomen who have nothing else on their hand but gossip about how other women raise their kids. Why is it of your concern if anybody else puts their kids in nursery? What about women who have no choice and their husbands dont make enough money to be stay at home moms. In my country at 3 months babies go into nursery, and not because their parents dont love them, or want to get away from them but because they have to WORK and make money to feed their children. So from now on there should be a new law, you only have the right to reproduce when you can stay 2 years and a half at home with your baby? Sorry but that is utter ********. I cook fresh for my baby every day, does that mean I have the right to judge women who choose to give their babies jars? I buy branded clothes for my baby, does that mean that women who buy clothes in carrefour for their babies are bad mothers? Sorry for lashing out, but I think each to their own. Some of my friends give their children french fries and carrot cake, I wont do it myself, but should I start a thread about how awful mothers they are? No, because they are not, and my motto is each to their own. There I said it, finally! ETTO. New code. *like*

Hello.Again.Kitty

1861

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 01 February 2011 - 15:41

Just playing Devil's Advocate here - we mustn't forget that there are also women out there who find themselves having children because it's what's expected of them, and yet have little interest in getting the paints out or playing with them, even if they are SAHM, so they outsource it, just like you'd outsource your laundry or cleaning. I guess it'd be a bit of a moral debate whether they should have kids to start off with, but we all know that once they're out, you can't put 'em back! Different strokes for different folks.

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Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 01 February 2011 - 13:34

Each to their own... Whatever choice we make, when they grow up to be teenagers they are going to tell us we did it wrong... :D :D :D

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EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 01 February 2011 - 11:58

Lol! for starters no where in her thread has the OP implied that ppl who send thier kids to nursery earlier are bad mothers.. but can understand why some ladies here are touchy about it :D )i've had the same reaction when I go anti-formula milk too) She was just trying to understand why some people do it earlier than the others. And i agree with her, I find more younger kids here go to nursery.. and i dont know if its the norm in the world, but even i think below 18months is a bit too young for the babies. I have personally considered nursery for my DS at 13 months and at 19months and now i just decided that its definitely not time for him yet. ETTO! Of course, some mothers have to work, and dont have a choice. But i personally think that the OP was talking about mothers who actually dont work, have househelp and still send their kids out to nursery for their own convenience and yes, there are plenty of that kind of mothers too. How many times have you seen kids very tiny babies (below 6months) bawling and thier mothers just continue shopping? Its not because they dont love thier child, its just ignorance. I have had so many people tell me not to hold my baby boy continuously because apparently he will get used to the warmth of my hands.. again ignorance! I think many mothers (not expatwoman.com mothers) do not take the time or effort to actually learn about their children, developments, etc. For instance, how many lo-risk mothers opt for elective c-section simply because they arent willing to bear the pain.. hello? this is your kid?? Ok i've rampled into different topics.. but anyways, i just wanted to say that the OP has a right to her opinions and I dont think she was trying to make anyone feel guilty. Albeit, i think she was wondering if she was missing out something for her kid by not sending her child to the nursery.

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 01 February 2011 - 11:38

this is such a rediculous thread leave each mum to their own!!!! we are all doing the bets for our children no matter what we do nursery or no nursery! in the UK my son would have had no choice but go to nursery from 9 months as i would have had to go abck to work!!! stop being so judgemental!!!!

Sugarbeach23383

1566

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 01 February 2011 - 11:36

Oh, mine does that already, she's only just 6. When she was upset about me telling her off the other day, out of nowhere, she blurted out "You are ruining my life!". What?! Where did that come from?

Anonymous (not verified)

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 01 February 2011 - 11:35

Mothers have an incredeble built in guilt complex and we live in an era of too much information- does not make for a good combination. Mothers always seem to be on edge when someone is doing something different from what they are doing. I think we all have to accept there is no "best" and as kvk said- they'll grow up to be teenagers and avoid and blame us for everything anyway;) SO TRUE!!

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 01 February 2011 - 11:29

Mothers have an incredeble built in guilt complex and we live in an era of too much information- does not make for a good combination. Mothers always seem to be on edge when someone is doing something different from what they are doing. I think we all have to accept there is no "best" and as kvk said- they'll grow up to be teenagers and avoid and blame us for everything anyway;)

Sugarbeach23383

1566

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EW EXPERT

Latest post on 01 February 2011 - 11:15

Well...on the other hand...in the UK, I've also had looks of pity, or is it smugness, or it could be my paranoia, when I talked about DD going to nursery from 8am to 6pm some days, and there's all sorts of studies out there that support these views. But there are so many conflicting views on so many aspects of parenting - Gina Ford and breastfeeding etc. (but those are whole new different threads)......parents sometimes end up confused and beating themselves up over things and women are sometimes their own worst enemies in these situations. <em>edited by Sugarbeach on 01/02/2011</em>

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 01 February 2011 - 10:56

Gosh DesignBabe, I'm not surprised you didn't meet up with them again! I definitely don't fall into that group who judge for LO's not being sent to nursery. *sigh* What next?!

Sugarbeach23383

1566

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 01 February 2011 - 10:48

Also, I think the OP is perhaps thinking, rightly or wrongly, that some parents put their LO's into nursery for some sort of educational advantage which her LOs are possibly missing out on and is trying to understand what that is. I think OP is seeking for reassurance of her decisions, although perhaps not approached it in a way which would do so. Yep. Be informed. Do the best you can. Trust your gut feeling. Have conviction in your decisions, and defo stay away from the Toxic Competitive Mums....easier said than done.

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 01 February 2011 - 10:48

Nicely said Yasmine.

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 01 February 2011 - 10:42

Each to their own... Whatever choice we make, when they grow up to be teenagers they are going to tell us we did it wrong...

142

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 01 February 2011 - 10:36

I do not think the OP is talking of parents who put their children in nursery beacuse they have to..... I myself have met lots of mothers who put their kids in nursery from as young as 1 when the children are obviously not ready( they cry everyday, beacome super clingy and are sick all the time) so that they have time to go out, go to the gym and "have a life'". They have to meet other mums for coffee- just not with their kids- definately seen plenty of that around - and these are mothers who also have helpers and dont work. I have met a lot of these mothers and they feel really fee to comment on my choice of not sending my 21/2 year old to nursery - some comments are- you just dont want to let him go my child just loves nursery and is so social ( cue sick child refusing to smile or talk as my DS runs around and mixes) he'll NEVER learn to socialise and these comments are just on first meeting. needless to say we didnt meet up again... Nursery and daycare is a relatively new concept. I have done my own reading on the subject and they are finally doing long terms studies on sending really young children to daycare/ nursery as such children were not avaialble before. Just like any other untested experiment ( and this does not refer to 3 yr olds but the 1 and under ones' who get put in nursery here) I reserve my right to do what I consider is best for my child without haveing the "nursery is best and you are causing your child untold harm by not sending him and he will never socilaise" brigade jumping down your throat when you meet them. I have lost 3 potential new "mommy friends" on this issue ( i dont go out and meet ppl that much -i have a 8 month old baby , a toddler and my own business to run....) so i've found this to be the biggest deal breaker for some odd reason - all these mommies have the big house, are SAHM with help.... so OP- i so know where you are coming from...

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 01 February 2011 - 10:34

Daisymacdoo - who the hxll do you think you are?! I'd love to be with my daughter fulltime but can't so I did the next best thing - negotiated part time hours at work and I devote my afternoons and weekends to her without doing a single chore until after her bedtime and that includes making all her food myself. Whether we're supporting family, saving for educations and the host of other reasons that require us to work, you have absolutely no right to judge us. I said it earlier this week and will say it again. This forum is about information, empathy and support. If you have nothing constructive to say, then don't post at all. We're not interested in opinions like yours! I don't find any fault of this post because Daisymacdoo has just mentioned her opinion. Some parents send their children to a nursery early & some are not. Finally, all of them do the best they can for their children. That's it! Everybody is entitled to their own opinion of course. But in her original post she insinuates that people want to get away from their kids and that that is a reason to put their children in nurseries. That would make my mother a BAD mother because I was in nursery from the age of 3 months, since both my parents worked very hard at that time. I am now a stay at home mom who has left her career, but this insinuation is ungrounded and hence not an opinion but an ignorant generalization. Once I think my babyboy is ready I will go back to work and he will go to nursery. And there is a difference in an opinion about your OWN childs education and an opinion about other people's childrens education. The latter for me is gossip and judging! Too true!!! (Were we perhaps seperated at birth?) LOL!;) maybe we were separated at nursery, lol

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 01 February 2011 - 10:24

Daisymacdoo - you mentioned getting time on your hands away from children as if it's not such a good thing. What's wrong with it?? My older daughter (2yrs10months) is in nursery three days a week and I'm a better Mummy for it. When I collect her I'm refreshed and ready to take up the reigns again!! Would also say that the UK/ Dubai view is a bit skewed - in the UK I had to work full time to pay the mortgage so spent a great deal of time, care (and money!) finding a gem of a childminder - bit puzzled by what you say as where I lived most people had to juggle work, nursery/ childcare etc. Felt no guilt as was working to give DD the best. Here DH is on a higher salary so while I've had my second child I've not had to. My experience in the UK was that many many people were doing the same thing. Here DD loves her nursery and the provision is fantastic. Still, if you're at home and loving being with your little one what's to gripe about?

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 01 February 2011 - 10:23

Daisymacdoo - who the hxll do you think you are?! I'd love to be with my daughter fulltime but can't so I did the next best thing - negotiated part time hours at work and I devote my afternoons and weekends to her without doing a single chore until after her bedtime and that includes making all her food myself. Whether we're supporting family, saving for educations and the host of other reasons that require us to work, you have absolutely no right to judge us. I said it earlier this week and will say it again. This forum is about information, empathy and support. If you have nothing constructive to say, then don't post at all. We're not interested in opinions like yours! I don't find any fault of this post because Daisymacdoo has just mentioned her opinion. Some parents send their children to a nursery early & some are not. Finally, all of them do the best they can for their children. That's it! Everybody is entitled to their own opinion of course. But in her original post she insinuates that people want to get away from their kids and that that is a reason to put their children in nurseries. That would make my mother a BAD mother because I was in nursery from the age of 3 months, since both my parents worked very hard at that time. I am now a stay at home mom who has left her career, but this insinuation is ungrounded and hence not an opinion but an ignorant generalization. Once I think my babyboy is ready I will go back to work and he will go to nursery. And there is a difference in an opinion about your OWN childs education and an opinion about other people's childrens education. The latter for me is gossip and judging! Too true!!! (Were we perhaps seperated at birth?) LOL!;)

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 01 February 2011 - 10:20

Daisymacdoo - who the hxll do you think you are?! I'd love to be with my daughter fulltime but can't so I did the next best thing - negotiated part time hours at work and I devote my afternoons and weekends to her without doing a single chore until after her bedtime and that includes making all her food myself. Whether we're supporting family, saving for educations and the host of other reasons that require us to work, you have absolutely no right to judge us. I said it earlier this week and will say it again. This forum is about information, empathy and support. If you have nothing constructive to say, then don't post at all. We're not interested in opinions like yours! I don't find any fault of this post because Daisymacdoo has just mentioned her opinion. Some parents send their children to a nursery early & some are not. Finally, all of them do the best they can for their children. That's it! Everybody is entitled to their own opinion of course. But in her original post she insinuates that people want to get away from their kids and that that is a reason to put their children in nurseries. That would make my mother a BAD mother because I was in nursery from the age of 3 months, since both my parents worked very hard at that time. I am now a stay at home mom who has left her career, but this insinuation is ungrounded and hence not an opinion but an ignorant generalization. Once I think my babyboy is ready I will go back to work and he will go to nursery. And there is a difference in an opinion about your OWN childs education and an opinion about other people's childrens education. The latter for me is gossip and judging!

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 01 February 2011 - 10:17

Wow, this is getting hotter by the minute! Yasmine....great saying!!! Each to there own. Sending small children to Nursery is a very common practice in the UK. However sending them at very young ages is a tough one that most parents do not have a choice! They have to work, pay bills and employing a nanny full time can be very expensive and outweighs the income. Being in a Nursery environment at any age, is beneficial just as staying at home with mummy/daddy is. I know children that are in need of social interaction on another level other than home life and occasional/daily play dates. Some are quite happy to be at home. In my children's experience, going to Nursery when BOTH DH and I thought was the right time, also helped them to settle into full time school without much fuss. I still recall taking my DS to his first day at Reception School (4yrs) and he was not only excited but happy to wave me off and go to his class. I did also see the opposite, where by some kids would hold onto the parent for dear life, wail, scream, and holler, and the poor parent was so stressed and ended up crying themselves. I am not assuming that they never went to Nursery. However, I am sure that it did help my DS. It is the interest of children to be able to interact at all levels socially whether nursery or play dates, but please do not be bewildered that mums do send them to nursery and why. Daisymacdoo seems like she is the perfect mother and needs no one to teach her children as she is doing such a great job herself. Take it that will not need to go to school then? Each to their own. (ETTO)!!!!

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 01 February 2011 - 10:10

Maybe so AnonDubai but a lot of it comes down to how it's done.

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EW MASTER

Latest post on 01 February 2011 - 09:58

Daisymacdoo - who the hxll do you think you are?! I'd love to be with my daughter fulltime but can't so I did the next best thing - negotiated part time hours at work and I devote my afternoons and weekends to her without doing a single chore until after her bedtime and that includes making all her food myself. Whether we're supporting family, saving for educations and the host of other reasons that require us to work, you have absolutely no right to judge us. I said it earlier this week and will say it again. This forum is about information, empathy and support. If you have nothing constructive to say, then don't post at all. We're not interested in opinions like yours! But she does have the right to post her opinion just as you have the right to disagree. <em>edited by AnonDubai on 01/02/2011</em>

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EW GURU

Latest post on 01 February 2011 - 09:57

My DD who is 3 doesn't go to nursery. We just can't afford it. She'll have to wait until she's 4 years and 7 months to start school. I really need to make more of an effort to get her out and socialize with kids.

Sugarbeach23383

1566

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 01 February 2011 - 09:27

So....is the problem that some of you socialise a little too much with Toxic Competitive Mums. ;) TCM's... a new code-word. I laik. :D

138

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 01 February 2011 - 09:25

Daisymacdoo - who the hxll do you think you are?! I'd love to be with my daughter fulltime but can't so I did the next best thing - negotiated part time hours at work and I devote my afternoons and weekends to her without doing a single chore until after her bedtime and that includes making all her food myself. Whether we're supporting family, saving for educations and the host of other reasons that require us to work, you have absolutely no right to judge us. I said it earlier this week and will say it again. This forum is about information, empathy and support. If you have nothing constructive to say, then don't post at all. We're not interested in opinions like yours!

Hello.Again.Kitty

1861

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 01 February 2011 - 09:22

So....is the problem that some of you socialise a little too much with Toxic Competitive Mums. ;) TCM's... a new code-word. I laik.

Sugarbeach23383

1566

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 01 February 2011 - 09:19

So....is the problem that some of you socialise a little too much with Toxic Competitive Mums, and need to find more chilled out, likeminded people? I don't think that's a Dubai thing BTW.

Hello.Again.Kitty

1861

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 01 February 2011 - 09:14

I get fed up about the one-up-manship and parading the kids around like performing monkeys - whether they go to nursery or not. How about referring to the child's happiness and sociability instead of reeling off how they are sooo advanced and can recite whatever the parent/ teacher has been feeding them. My DD started nursery when she was 3. She's a chirpy, confident (oh yes, is that!) little lass with a love of learning and insatiable curiosity, that nursery currently satisfies, when being at home no longer could.

1618

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EW EXPERT

Latest post on 01 February 2011 - 08:54

I kept both my kids at home. It suited me and them, most of my friends put their kids in nursery as soon as possible. Their kids are just as happy and well rounded as mine. I think everyone does what's best for their situation.

2937

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 01 February 2011 - 08:52

Do you mean you're fed up of people asking when your child's going to nursery, as if they just assume she is and you'd be mad not to send her? If so, I do see what you mean. There's a real 'pack' mentality here in that there are 'cult' things to do/things to have/people to see and if you don't do them/have them/see them, people ask when you're going to! Maybe it's part of the insecurity of being an expat, I don't know, but I do feel there's a lot of 'keeping up with the Joneses' as a parent in Dubai. As long as you're happy with your child's development, there's no problem. If you think your child might benefit, send her. It's nobody's business but your own and don't feel bad either way.

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8 Beauty Treatments in Dubai for busy moms

8 Beauty Treatments in Dubai: Self-Care Recommendations for Busy Moms

Mashreq NEO NXT Account | Why Kids and Teens Need Financial Education

Why Teens Need Real-World Financial Education?

E-scooters are no longer banned on the Dubai Metro stations and trains

RTA Finally Lifts E-Scooter Ban From Dubai Metro

Spa packages at Saray Spa in JW Marriott Marquis Hotel Dubai

Step Into the Ultimate Relaxation Bliss With Saray Spa's Pampering Packages

How to book Dubai taxi through WhatsApp

Booking Taxis in Dubai: How to Hail a Taxi Through WhatsApp

Experience Extended Stays and Special Savings at Le Meridien Al Aqah Beach Resort UAE

Soak Up the Summer With the Ultimate UAE Staycation Special

RTA Dubai flying taxi official launch date

Image credit: Joby Aviation.

RTA Finally Confirms Launch Date of Dubai's Flying Taxis

Are "own visa" Domestic Workers legal in the UAE?

Are "Own Visa" and Freelancer Visa Domestic Workers Legal in the UAE?