Third baby...do it, or not??? Tick, tock...

hi juli, i found this http://gulfnews.com/news/gulf/uae/health/***-selection-pregnancy-succeeds-again-1.38827 good luck x

I am 42 with 2 boys, youngest is 8. I would like to have a girl. has anyone any experience of gender selection? I know it can be done here and the legalities are fine if you already have same *** children. How exactly does it work in practise? I read an article in the paper a couple of years ago about this (try searching on Gulf News "gender selection"). There are different types that you can do and they have different % success rates. Check some of the Fertility clinics out for info (I think it was Dubai Gyne and Fertility Clinic mentioned in the article - but I am sure some of the others do it too).

I am 42 with 2 boys, youngest is 8. I would like to have a girl. has anyone any experience of gender selection? I know it can be done here and the legalities are fine if you already have same *** children. How exactly does it work in practise?

I'm pregnant with my 3rd have a 11 yr old a 2 yr old dd and expecting a boy next month... I think my family will be complete now with the 3rd...but maybe if it was a girl would of tried one last time for a 4 th baby to see if I would have had a boy. I only drive a small car and can fit the two car seats and my eldest in the back tried it out already. My eldest is gonna sit in the middle looking after the two little ones.

We've got a Mitsubishi Pajero and an Audi Q7. Both fit three normal carseats (not boosters) in a row. The carseats are two Maxi Cosi and one Mothercare.

I think we're looking at number 3 no matter where we are living. Although I'm hoping that we have a girl this time but would be very happy with another boy. A question for you ladies with 3 or going to have 3.... what type of vehicle do you drive? wondering for all those carseats :)

Most of my friends have 3 children and the boss has 4, I think it seems to be more the merrier feel around the people I know. BIL is expecting his 3rd boy too!

Suzy, I was in the exact same boat as you. My husband wanted 3rd but I wasn't so sure and could have been very happy with just two (mine are the same ages as yours). Like you I really just DIDN'T KNOW whether I wanted another. I decided to let nature decide. I told my husband we could try for 5 months and whatever happened happened and then that was it as I couldn't stand the indecision and like you felt the clock was ticking as I was 41. We had our third child 6 weeks ago and I cannot imagine not having him. We are finding it so much easier this time around.....older kids are besotted and are a big help, we are more confident, calm and generally more chilled, we have help with the housework etc. The older two happily entertain each other if I need to lay down for an hour and when school starts again in Sept they will be at school for a good part of the day so I can sleep when baby does if needs be. Our lives have completely changed going back to pushchairs and nappies but the entire family is loving it. Good luck with your decision.

...Back in Europe, there is simply no way I could have coped...but now???? Is your answer in there? Apart from perhaps financial constraints and having to work elsewhere, are there other reasons why you couldn't cope? Like you've already said, we always find a way to do what needs to be done. (Not asking you to answer any of that here...just food for thought. :) ) Massive decision ahead of you. Again, best wishes. xxx

Suzy, I could have written your post apart from my kids are older than yours but I am the same age as you. We've just been on holiday and I decided that's it no more! They are at an age where we can have different holidays together, cycling, walking etc. and we like to be active but now I'm back I'm on the fence again! Husband would LOVE another but he travels a lot now. Really difficult. Of course if you go for number 3 you won't regret it because you love your kids and the family would love he/she...

Maybe it's just a trend in the people I know but more people seems to be having more than two children at the moment regardless of where they live. Out of my NCT baby group of five in the UK, three of us now have three, one has two and one has been unable to have more than one. I also have a number of friends in NZ who have or are planning on having, three or four. Having a maid certainly makes it easier but I would have had more than two children no matter where I'd lived.

I should add to what I wrote earlier that I have no maid/house help and yet I do want to have baby #4 so I dont think that having more kids in the Middle East is all to do with being able to afford maids.

I have three children - 6yrs, 4yrs and 21 months. I was 35, 37 and three months short of 40 when they were born. My first was born in Aus and the second two in Dubai. Sure, it helped having the option of domestic help while we were there but I would have chosen to have three no matter where we were in the world. Before we had children, I always assumed I would have two. Then I sat day after day watching my first two (20 months apart in age) play and thinking that the picture just didn't look complete. Now, our family feels 'finished'. I have no doubt we'll have the usual massive challenges ahead as they get older, get hormonal and I get older and less energetic! I wouldn't change a thing. Having three children is a whole different kettle of fish to having two. When they throw public hissy fits, you only have two hands to try to gain control with. ;) Many places where we seek holiday accomodation will not allow five people in one room (especially once the youngest is out of a cot). Mine are close in age so we still need three car seats which proves a great challenge in most non-seven-seater cars. My oldest had to go to a slimline booster seat quite a bit earlier than we would have liked. And of course there's all of the extra costs associated with each child...schooling, feeding, clothing, medical etc etc I take my hat off to parents of one child. That must be one of the toughest jobs out there. My three usually entertain each other which gives me the odd five minutes to get housework and cooking done. I have two close friends here (Aus) each with only one child and they have their hands full keeping that one gorgeous child entertained. Sure, mine make more mess ;) , but I definitely get more tea breaks in a week than those busy Mums do. :D Suzy...if you can sit down quietly and really think about what you want for your family, you'll know in your heart what's the right decision for you. If you and your husband are on the same page about that, decision made. Best wishes, whatever decision you come too.

I had always wanted another child. I was blessed with a boy and girl. For whatever reason, Allah knows, I was not able to conceive again. Personally, I would do it especially since your husband is on board as well. Good luck whatever your decision as it is yours to make.

We have 4 children (DS 13, DD 12, DD 4 and DS 6m) We wouldn't change our family for the world. Sure, it's a (very) noisy house but we like it that way. I was weeks off 39 when #4 came along, and I wouldn't let age get in the way of having another in the future. To be honest # 3 and 4 have just slipped into our daily life without any dramas, and I actually found it hardest going from no children to 1. Never had home help, and certainly never been well off- but we love each other, support each other and live a simple life- not everyones cup of tea, but it is ours.

going to wade in here as an old broad.....Suzy, you say your dream is to have 3, you dont say you would love to have another, you say your husband would love to have another and is upset about you getting rid of baby stuff. So, you are askng here about 40 yr old mothers. I think you already know the answer in your heart about whether you really want to have another child. I doubt it really has anything to do with your age as 40 yr old mothers are very common now :) so, maybe you must be honest with yourself and listen to what it is that you want, rather than what others say, including your husband?????? good luck, either way :)

Thanks everyone for your comments - although you all seem younger than me?? Am I too old at 40 to be having 3rd child?? By the time i fall pregnant (and that's another concern), be pregnant, I'll be at least 41... aaagh!! Funny - my DH evoked the subject today.... a sign??? If I'd thought 40 was too old I wouldn't have any children! I had my first baby, a boy at 41 and my little girl arrived a few weeks before my 43 birthday! Go for it!

I just had DD 3 and turned 43 just a few days before I delivered. Shes three weeks old and happily hiccupping here beside me. We're thrilled to have her here safe and sound. My own biggest worry was how a child with disabilities would impact on my other two girls, but thankfully it seems that is not something we have to worry about. Personally I think issues of finance will sort themselves out, and given the chance to bring another little wonder into the world? GO FOR IT!

Hey ladies - I'm the maybe ..not quite planned ..... number 3 ....... my parents had a girl,boy then 7 years later ... me :). So I say go for it! I got spoiled by both parents and older siblings ... and always felt special one that got spoiled by everyone ... guess they did the tough parenting with the older ones and was chilled or maybe just tired by the time i came along when my brother and sister left home - i was still there ... as my mum said keeping her young. and on a not so great note ..... after one of my siblings passed away .... there are still 2 of us left .... i think it would have been harder to lose one of your best friends & become an only child .... so like on of the earlier posters said .... maybe just .... dont stress .... and left GOD decide

A couple of references by people made me wonder - would they have chosen to have fewer children if they were living somewhere where domestic help was less easily available? And is the income coming into the family secure enough to take care of the extra babes?

A couple of references by people made me wonder - would they have chosen to have fewer children if they were living somewhere where domestic help was less easily available? I wouldn't have chosen to have as many children if I didn't have help from somewhere - family or hired help. But I think that is the right thing to do - only have as many children as you can manage under the circumstances in which you are living.

A couple of references by people made me wonder - would they have chosen to have fewer children if they were living somewhere where domestic help was less easily available?

Thanks everyone for your comments - although you all seem younger than me?? Am I too old at 40 to be having 3rd child?? By the time i fall pregnant (and that's another concern), be pregnant, I'll be at least 41... aaagh!! Funny - my DH evoked the subject today.... a sign??? SZ I just had my fourth at 40 and I was told by my gynae that I am still young! (great compliment) Further than that, she said the ministry of health would refuse me a sterilisation as I was too young. Just bear in mind that going back in history women without contraception went on having babies quite safely until their early 50's :D I say go for it - you'll never regret having another but you may regret not having one :)

I had the twins at 38. Would you have more? I mean twins are a real handful and I can only imagine so much more difficult to deal in those first years. No. The twins are numbers three and four - so in total, I have DS1 - 6, DD1 - 2 and DD/DS2 - almost 1. That is enough!!! Guiness, I am in the same boat. We decided to go for number three at the beginning of the year, and, low and behold I am 5 months pregnant with twins. I am really worried about how I will cope as I currently have a 3 year old DS and an 18 month old DS. I need to hire some help - fast! Tru Blu, if you want to have a chat, send me an email at [email protected] Thanks. You've got mail. You can delete your email.

We had not planned my third pregnancy although we knew we wanted to have one more baby in the hopes of having a girl. We now have three sons aged seven, five and two and a half. The boys are great company for one another and since there's not much of an age gap they really have a good time (as chaotic as it can get). I really want to have baby 4 but DH wont agree as he worries about schooling expenses etc. I am still trying to convince him though. Good Luck with whatever you decide.

I had the twins at 38. Would you have more? I mean twins are a real handful and I can only imagine so much more difficult to deal in those first years. No. The twins are numbers three and four - so in total, I have DS1 - 6, DD1 - 2 and DD/DS2 - almost 1. That is enough!!! Guiness, I am in the same boat. We decided to go for number three at the beginning of the year, and, low and behold I am 5 months pregnant with twins. I am really worried about how I will cope as I currently have a 3 year old DS and an 18 month old DS. I need to hire some help - fast!

Had my 3rd at 40 after a 6 yr break. really wanted a girl but of course another boy! Easiest pregnancy I had as so relaxed a knew what to expect. I had an amio to check it all was good at 11 weeks which I would recommend .