Does anyone else find one baby totally exhausting?

DC, do you not remember my constantly dishevelled look when DS was a baby?! And that was when we were on the up, 'cos you never saw me in his first 6 months! lol. Gosh, we have to be nuts really, hey?! Anyhow, the good news is, when you eventually find yourself with only one child in tow again, you will laugh at the absurdity of when you complained that you'd never be able to do stuff with a baby in tow. I did it with DD - everything seemed such a palarva, but it pales in comparison to when you have 2... and it only gets worse. When #2 is small enough to stay in the buggy, you're actually being eased in... wait til you have 2 rampaging, mobile toddlers... and maybe add to that #1 in the midst of potty-training! With #2, you also realise that you need to stop pussy-footing around. #2 won't get uninterrupted naps, will have to just cry while you prepare dinner for your screaming toddler and #1 will just have to man up if they fall over and start crying while you're feeding #2 or putting him to sleep. You'll find your life is more free-form, more chaotic, but also more rigorous... and your attitude more relaxed. BUT, when you do finally get time to yourself, you realise that for your entire life before kids, you just bummed around far too much and wasted too much time. I've always been pretty efficient, but now, oh my! Give me 4 hours and I can get more done than [cough'> DH will do in a whole weekend! <em>edited by Hello.Again.Kitty on 21/10/2011</em>

[url=http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php'>[img'>http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-forum/popcorn.gif[/img'>[/url'> I'll have what you are having...with a side order of a large glass of wine ;)

[url=http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php'>[img'>http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-forum/popcorn.gif[/img'>[/url'>

I just read what i wrote a few months ago and i am so laughing at myself!!! Thought i was exhausted when DD was 8 weeks old, i certainly had a rude awakening :\: DD is just over 10 months old, and come 7pm, i am S-H-A-T-T-E-R-ED!!! In fact, i feel exhausted throughout the whole day, from the minute i wake! My life just feels like a constant rush everyday :( Wake up (still dead tired from the day before), 7:30 - serve DD breakfast, 8am - go for our walk, 8:30 - i have breakfast, 9am - put DD down for her nap, get dressed, clean up the mess created at breakfast, unload the dishwasher, prepare DD's bag for the day, wake DD up - off we to an activity (which is everyday except Thursdays), have lunch, back in the car to run and errand, back home - put DD down for a nap, clean up the house, think of something for dinner, DD wakes up - play time/run an errand or play date, 5:30 - serve DD dinner, 6:15 bath/boob/bed - 7pm - can barely hold myself up straight :( It got so bad, I've been to 2 Dr's now, took loads of blood, ran loads of test and everything has come back negative! All organs functioning well and all vitamins levels in the normal range! Oh - and i get an average of 7-8hrs sleep at night, so it cant be sleep deprivation :\: I have me time, i have nights out alone without DH, we have nights out as a couple, and i get help from DH when he is at home! We thought that it may be my hormones adjusting as DD is only on 2 breast feeds a day - but my Dr and midwife said that this should not cause exhaustion?! I feel like i am rambling, but just cant get my head around the way i feel!? I have some St John's Wort and Evening Primrose Oil somewhere in the house, but have not got around to start taking it yet! Would this help at all? OR - is this it? Is this going to be the pace of my life from here in on? And i should just ride it out, suck it up and eventually things will level themselves out? PHEW - that just took the last bit of mental energy i had left for the day ;)

Did I miss these posts first time around after I'd posted?! I loved yours, frannie. I am a couple of weeks away from having #2 and bricking it does not adequately describe how I'm feeling. At the moment I'm just imagining no time to myself at all, no time to exercise, finding it impossible to coincide their nap times so I'll have one or the other of them all the time... ...and I'm so totally with you on the DH front. I don't need support, I need someone to just DO STUFF without needing an instruction manual or step-by-step verbals. I need someone to man up and take charge for once in a while. Grrr! I feel really daft saying I'm scared I won't be able to manage with two. My Mum had three under four, my sister had three under four, so many women on here have three or four kids. I guess some of us are just natural mums and some of us aren't and I think I fall into the latter category :(. <em>edited by DubaiCat on 18/10/2011</em>

Frannie-U really sound like my kind of girl! I loved ur post and couldn't agree more with everything u said. xxx

I was just thinking of you this afternoon Novice and was going to set up a thread asking how you were getting on! Mental telepathy! ;) Ohhhh do I hear you re the exhaustion. I am stumpt at how mothers of 2 or more do it, or single parent families. DH happened to mention say to me the other day "well you should get uni out the way because no doubt next year you will be pregnant again at some part" I nearly gagged and fainted. I think mothers of more than 1 and single parent families deserve gold medals! DS was a terrible sleeper up until 4 months and then got progressively better. But even with sleeping through after dream feed from 10-5+am in the morning I end up wrecked at the end of the day so you are not alone. I have to plan car trips (as mentioned in a previous thread) because he hates the car, so my appointments are always scheduled around this and bottle time so that I can give him a bottle when I'm in the appointment or need to zipp around the shops quickly without him wanting to be picked up and carried around. Having to constantly think about someone else is physically and mentally exhausting. Thankfully I have made a couple of awesome friends here who when I'm feeling like I cant get out of bed to do it another day, they are the ones who come to the rescue, even if it is just some one to talk to and vent about how hard the day has been for me personally. I know many other mothers have it much harder than I do, but having a good friend who doesn't judge if my day has really been the hardest etc has been a bit of a saviour. I know you have moved, but have you had any opportunity to make a couple of good friends like that? Exercise is another saviour of mine which I really haven't had any chance to do unless it is a walk with DS and the 2 dogs (take the 2 dogs because it keeps DS amused watching them rip my arm out of its socket) so not exercising hard (ie. run, gym class, boxing) pays it toll for me and I get depressed. I do like getting out for a walk though even if I have the whole crew in toe, pram going one way, dogs the other - does help me feel a smidgen better... don't know how it will change with summer coming though :( at the end of the day, I love DS with all my mite and find myself giving him such big cuddles at night time for initial bed time and then after dream feed. We sit in the rocking chair, him tired and me exhausted and I just hold him and almost every single night I get all teary because I know whilst he keeps me on the go (and probably will for some time yet) The time is actually going really fast and he wont be this little for long - I certainly wont be getting that quiet cuddles with him for much longer. I think that is the most special moment I have with him that gives me the energy to do it again tomorrow. I don't know that this has been any good advice to help novice, but I do wish you some respite soon and hope that DS settles a bit so you can breath and have some time for you (and you with DH). Sending big hugs your way. xox oh and to hopefully to give you a bit of a giggle, with my blonde baby brain, we went to Dubai Mall yesterday for a bit of an outing, planning to have a few hours there and have lunch and shop... no sooner did we get there we had to come home again ... I had forgotten DS's bottles and food! I certainly wont be winning mum (or wife) of the year award thats for sure! ;) Ops!

I hear you. Although I do work so I get out of the house, but once I am back home I do everything everything everything. We are talking about planning for No. 2. I just dont know how we can do it. DH and I have started to call each other mommy and daddy!!!!!!!!!!!!

Big hugs to you Novice. I am in the same boat as you and was about to write an identical post ..its getting hard for me as my DS hardly sleeps during the day!! I feel priviledged if i get a chance to shower lol! I agree wih Tanya, try to get some respite by doing something that energises you. Something that has helped me recently is I find spending time at playgroups (not a coffee morning but an actual play session for LO in any different setting/environment) helps, in that he benefits but Im not as exhausted at the end of it compared to if I was one-on-one with him all that time. So thats partly my solutiom, im trying to fill our time and stimulate him by joining various groups. hope Im making sense! BTW my LO is roughly a month older than yours, if you'de like to meet up or simply chat my email is [email protected]

I would have to say I think everyone must feel like this! I certainly take my hat off to all single parents out there with little or no support - incredible! I think that yes, having a second/third/forth... child is certainly going to be harder, but I think the toughest thing about number one is that you are having that major lifestyle adjustment that you have never had to deal with before. I know for me (and for many writers below it seems) it is a huge adjustment, you lose your ability to be spontaneous (you know, movies, dinners - without planning) your identity as an individual becomes blurred as all of sudder you become +1 (forever) .. which is incredible - obviously, but, all of sudden you have no weekends to look forward to, because guess what? You don't get the weekend or public holidays or any time off... so yes, the next ones are tougher, but the first is the biggest adjustment (IMO). The biggest recommendations I can say, is you HAVE to make time for yourself to focus on you, when you are not looking after DS, and your DH is. Whatever you like to do for you, go for a walk, dinner, lunch or coffee with friends, a movie, pedicure, have your hair done - whatever it is that give you a bit of 'you' time. I found at times I would almost feel claustrophobic that I couldn't do anything or go anywhere without DS and just not 'think' about anything. Even when DH was home, I was still primary caregiver, so still didnt get to relax. So DH would come home and even though DS was in bed, I would go for a walk around out compound, DH wouldn't have to do anything with DS, but I would still get a 'break'. On the weekends (in the first few months), he would help me get extra hours of sleep to catch up for during the week... You also need to try and make time for you and DH. This doesn't have to be out all the time (don't get me wrong, this is great too) but not everyone has the flexibility to do this. So you 'can' do it at home, we did this week, DS was asleep, we had a takeaway and watched a DVD in bed with popcorn - no calls, texting, laptops from either of us. DS is 1year and we have seen 1 movie and have been out for 2 dinners and 1 brunch - that will seem likes lots to some people and not much to others, but it has worked for us. We don't need to go out all the time, just every now and then is nice. Actually, you may have seen recently there is a new club in Dubai called the Fairy Godmother club, if you good this in facebook, you can join up. The concept is being an expat away from your family can be really difficult, so this group has been set up to help find surrogate families spend time with, whether it be grandparent figures, Aunt's and Uncle's etc... and you never know, you might be able to find someone that is happy to do a reciprocal babysitting arrangment... just a thought anyway... I really, honestly find, that if I just get a little time away, and a break from doing the nighttime routine, or the swim or whatever it is every now and then, I feel far more refreshed, and far happier doing it the rest of the time. Sending positive vibes out to everyone finding it a bit tough at the moment - it certainly isn't easy - regardless of the number of children you are looking after!

Yes, I found having one baby totally exhausting, and now I find 2 babies totally exhausting! I'm not sure how the other mums at older DS's nursery look so coiffed and relaxed at the school drop off/ pick up. What really helps is getting an early night's sleep (and spending less time on Expatwoman at night!) but I don't always manage it.

Thanks Plumie - it was quite cathartic writing it and I feel better already. But this may also have something to do with the half a glass of red wine I consumed whilst typing ;) GGGRRR - I could so do with a glass and a half! But settled for a tub of Haagen-Das earlier on :D Enjoy x

Thanks Plumie - it was quite cathartic writing it and I feel better already. But this may also have something to do with the half a glass of red wine I consumed whilst typing ;)

Frannie, I almost to say "wonderful post" but doubt it would suit the contents ;) However, your honesty deserves much admiration, as sometimes I feel women/mothers don't like talking about the "bad" days as it might admit defeat :\: So {{{HUGS}}} to you too, and I shall say the dreaded words "this too shall pass" ;)

Another one feeling exactly the same Novice! My DS is four months and I just cannot believe how my life has changed and I how naive I was about the SAHM lifestyle before he was born. I long for suits and a blackberry at times and I get very cross when people say thinks like "but it's worth it when you see them smile, isn't it?". Vom. Sorry! I think that many of us expats have the compounded problem of not having a proper support network around us. If I were at home my Mum would probably come to stay a couple of nights a week, my brother and SIL would be a 15 min drive away and my best friend ten mins away. Here I have a cleaning lady twice a week and I tell myself that I am spoilt - ha!! Cleaning ladies/maids - they are a huge help yes but when my Mum/family have visited I not only get the support but the emotional release of having her around. I'm rambling a bit now but having my Mum around makes me feel like a better Mum, somehow... I also think that having a little one is so much more physically tiring that I imagined (actually, I can't even remember what I imagined!)...lifting baby, baby baths, pushchairs in and out of cars, car seats. Constantly tidying up and doing washing - going up and down the stairs what seems like every five minutes. It wears me out just thinking about it. We went out to Barracuda today and it was like a military operation. Then it rained so we were stuck in the car trying to make up a feed/change baby. Sounds like not much when I type it but eventually I just had to give my son to my husband and STOP for a few minutes - I was getting so stressed out. I really can't imagine having two. My mum keeps telling me to space them out as she had my brother and I really close together (almost exactly a year between us) and she tells me she cannot remember most of our baby/toddler years - it's just a blur of tiredness and nappies! A friend of mine recently found out she was pregnant with number 2 and my honest to goodness first thought was to send her an e mail commiserating - thank God I didn't!! I have also had to cut ties a little with a particular friend who is a bit of a Mother Goddess and had a very easy baby who slept through early and barely cried. She says things like (wait for it!) "I enjoyed getting up with her during the night, I kinda looked at it as "Hey, it's you again, great we can spend some more time together!"". It makes me want to pull her hair!!! Like a child!! MY DH is very supportive, loving and patient. But I don't want his SUPPORT I want him to be an equal parent and make some of the parenting decisions. E.g. when should we wean him - it's up to me apparently. Why? Lastly, my final vent is to add that I think we all get a bit guilty about things and it's daft. I feel guilty for complaining about tiredness as, actually, my son is a good sleeper. He only wakes once a night and yet I am shattered. I keep reading about kids who wake every 1 hour or something and think - how would I cope? I am useless because he sleeps so much better than this and yet sometimes I still feel like I am walking through fog? How would I cope if I get a bad sleeper next time. The above sounds all very negative and I honestly could write a longer post about the positives in my life but I am too tired! Lol. Sending all good thoughts your way Novice. x

Nice post Yashatra:)

Has anyone read Julia Donaldson's a Squash and a Squeeze? She says her house is too small, so someone advises her to bring in the chicken, and the goat and then the cow? And when she says now it is really small, so she puts out the animals and her house feels soo big? That's how it is with kids. I've now got four, and I have to say, its never easy to look after four, but now, looking after one seems like a breeze. But when I had my first son, it was really really hard. So hard, I couldn't bear to have another one for four years. At the time, I didn't feel comfortable leaving him with someone. So I got a maid so that when I got totally overwhelmed, I could hand the baby to the maid and walk out of the room. You'd be surprised how nice it is just to have a person to look after the baby while you are cooking - or eating - dinner. Just because you get yourself some help, doesn't mean you have to leave the baby with someone else. I would bring the maid with me when I went to the grocery store, because my DS had a habit of pitching an enormous fit at the store - and somehow it felt better if there were two of us dealing with the fit than if I was all alone. And I would take an hour or two every day to read a book, surf the net chat with friends while my DS was downstairs with the maid. Everyone I know who has tried to do it all themselves has eventually cracked in some way ... It takes a village, and if you don't have one, hire one!

{{{HUGS}}} to you Novice and all the wonderful Mummies who are doing such wonderful jobs!!! Never, ever did i imagine how exhausting it would be to raise a child and to nature a newborn 24/7! I often beat myself up thinking, this is the only job i have to do, and yet i am struggling and many days, just about manage to keep my head above water! By the time DH comes home from work (not forgetting the days when he is travelling and he does not come home), DD and i are waiting at the door, with me dangling her, ready to hand her over to him :( I sometimes envy DH for being able to get up and leave for the day, but bills need to be paid and food needs to be put on the table! Being at home 10/12hrs a day, alone with a baby is no walk in the park! I was certainly under some fairytale illusions :\: Having alone time with your DH is essential! We had DD in our room for the first few weeks when she was brought home. At the 6 week mark, all of that HAD to change! We moved her into her own room and all of a sudden DH and i had a few hours every night and i felt like we had a "marriage" again! Like i was a wife, a woman, not only a mother. As DD sleeps through the night, from 7/8pm until about 2/3am, we plan to have our first date night in 2 weeks time! Even if it means just going down the road to Starbucks and having a Latte and a muffin - we are determined to do it! No doubt it will be very hard, and there will be many tears, but it will do none of us any good, canoodling her 24/7, whilst all else falls by the way side :\: So, good on you for speaking up and i believe that there HAS to be light at the end of every tunnel :) ps. My DD is only 8 weeks old an i can already relate to your emotions, so it looks like i have lotssss to look forward to ;)

You sound exactly like me with my firstborn! It actually became easier for me only when I had another baby. They entertain each other a lot so they are not as clingy. My DS is two years old now and they are a handful but in a different way. Dont worry. It gets better and you will adapt. I hope you feel better soon. I can feel every emotion of what you have written as I felt it too. Also had a great paying job,jetsetting lifestyle. It is a big change.

About the going out alone with DH and spending quality time with each other, how do you overcome the guilt factor of leaving the LO at home? I sometimes go out grocery shopping alone leaving DD with DH and I just feel so guilty for leaving her. If I think of me time DH just cannot manage alone with her. Even if I leave her for a few minutes with him, he goes crazy and start screaming for me. Did that just now as he could not bath her. Argh it seems to be such a no win situation! I sometimes feel like running away from it all. I don't feel guilty at all leaving ds with dh, I like to call it bonding time ;-) I can understand feeling uncomfortable with a babysiter, but DH is her father, he does need to 'man up' (excellent term by the way) and spend some time raising his own child. As far as the babysitter is concerned, I usually put lo to bed at 7:30 and then go out with dh, knowing that he probably won't even know I was gone. If he does wake up I know I've left him with a very kind patient woman and he will be just fine! I also leave ds one afternoon a week, and while I do feel a bit guilty sometimes, he's learning how to deal with a new person and I'm learning how to let go a bit. We all think that only we can handle our children, but actually they are much more adaptable then you would think. DS likes his sitter and knowing that I have an afternoon where I can go to a fitness class, or even just sleep in the next room make the really hard days that much more doable.

I was really hoping that it gets better with time. I will go mad if it continues on for the next 2 years. I think that 'one' has now become the new "terrible twos". About the going out alone with DH and spending quality time with each other, how do you overcome the guilt factor of leaving the LO at home? I sometimes go out grocery shopping alone leaving DD with DH and I just feel so guilty for leaving her. If I think of me time DH just cannot manage alone with her. Even if I leave her for a few minutes with him, he goes crazy and start screaming for me. Did that just now as he could not bath her. Argh it seems to be such a no win situation! I sometimes feel like running away from it all. I know it sounds horrid, but I don't feel guilty leaving them... or maybe a bit of pleasurable guilt like when you scoff a slice of chocolate cake in the kitchen when no-one's looking! I guess I just balance it with the fact that day in, day out, I am dealing with their dramas, interacting with them and just being manic, so 3 hours away every week isn't that much in exchange. We also usually go out of an evening when they're asleep... and I do feel a bit naughty leaving them during the day. I have no problems with them being looked after during the day by DH or other family (when we get the chance) - although sometimes roll my eyes at what they've been allowed to get away with! As for DH not being able to cope - heck, I'd never changed a nappy, fed or bathed a baby before DD came along and just had to learn - very quickly! It's not rocket science. Had it been my DH (and I think he's tried it before) I'd have told him to man up and get on with it! Sometimes, also, infuriatingly, they're better behaved with other people, when you're not around. Mummies get all the tantrums, because we're just soooo special! Grrr...

I'm surprised us frazzled mums haven't bumped into eachother more often! Seriously though, if you're looking around and seeing "all these mums" who look super-serene and coping just fine... don't believe the hype. Many, many of us put on our bravest faces when we're out and about and will gloss over our worries with a bright smile and "oh yes, we're all just fine!"... and then we'll go home and flop, cry, sulk or whatever else happens safely in our own 4 walls. I cannot stress the importance of making time for yourself and your relationship with Dh though. That was our biggest problem when my 1st was born - I was too caught up in the whole motherhood thing and couldn't get my head around making time. All my time was taken up - how could I make more?! Well, you just have to. Regular date nights with DH will help you stay in touch with who you were before motherhood hit you, and that is priceless. Find a trusted friend or hire someone to babysit and go out to the cinema or for a meal - all you need is 3 hours. Even if bubs doesn't settle or cries for those 3 hours, it doesn't matter, it's not the end of the world. Oh, and Icedqueen - I hope it does get better for you... it didn't for me - DD started tantrumming like that at 13 months and is still drawing audiences at 3yrs3 months! I was really hoping that it gets better with time. I will go mad if it continues on for the next 2 years. I think that 'one' has now become the new "terrible twos". About the going out alone with DH and spending quality time with each other, how do you overcome the guilt factor of leaving the LO at home? I sometimes go out grocery shopping alone leaving DD with DH and I just feel so guilty for leaving her. If I think of me time DH just cannot manage alone with her. Even if I leave her for a few minutes with him, he goes crazy and start screaming for me. Did that just now as he could not bath her. Argh it seems to be such a no win situation! I sometimes feel like running away from it all.

I'm scared to hand over DD to a friend/babysitter... she's quite a ... lol...

I'm surprised us frazzled mums haven't bumped into eachother more often! Seriously though, if you're looking around and seeing "all these mums" who look super-serene and coping just fine... don't believe the hype. Many, many of us put on our bravest faces when we're out and about and will gloss over our worries with a bright smile and "oh yes, we're all just fine!"... and then we'll go home and flop, cry, sulk or whatever else happens safely in our own 4 walls. I cannot stress the importance of making time for yourself and your relationship with Dh though. That was our biggest problem when my 1st was born - I was too caught up in the whole motherhood thing and couldn't get my head around making time. All my time was taken up - how could I make more?! Well, you just have to. Regular date nights with DH will help you stay in touch with who you were before motherhood hit you, and that is priceless. Find a trusted friend or hire someone to babysit and go out to the cinema or for a meal - all you need is 3 hours. Even if bubs doesn't settle or cries for those 3 hours, it doesn't matter, it's not the end of the world. Oh, and Icedqueen - I hope it does get better for you... it didn't for me - DD started tantrumming like that at 13 months and is still drawing audiences at 3yrs3 months!

Going through the same thing as the OP. DD is 14 months now and it started when she was around 8 months. Was also working up until 40 weeks and in a demanding job. Decided to stay at home with baby but sometimes I get so frustrated with this mommy thing. DD is constantly pulling at my legs and will never play on her own. She comes to the bathroom with me, wakes up with me, sleeps with me. Plays with DH and laughs with him. If he is sitting and watching TV or on PC, she just plays alongside him but with me she won't even allow me to hold a phone in my hand. I cannot even cook without her pulling at my legs or me tripping all over her. If she takes a nap in the afternoon she wants me to lay down next to her. As soon as I jump up from the bed, she wakes up. Its just so tiring and I keep my sanity by saying that this is just a phase and that it will get better. For now I don't want to even think about having number 2. Lets hope that changes though! I thought I was the only one feeling that way. I see people in malls with their kids and they sit so well in their prams. I am the frazzled looking mom running behind DD, pushing pram in one hand while she throws everything off shelves. If I try to keep her in the pram, she screams blue murder and I get all these looks from people. Its so difficult right now but I am hoping that it will get better as she grows.

Why don't you hire a maid so you can take a nap during the day and get some time away from your child and time alone with your DH? Those are very important things that should not be underestimated.

Ladies, it will get better trust me! I have three, youngest is also 11 months old. It is very challenging at this age, and yep you cannot get anything done! It will pass, when I see my other 2 children (7 and 5) i remember those days when they were little and I though it would never ever get easier! I was wrong:)

Yees!!!!But the big difference for me is that I get the occasional time off. Novice, seriously, find a babysitter and go out with your husband! Even if it seems a bit scary, or if you have to resort to asking one of the mums from your play group, nothing makes it all seem doable like an adult night out! My ds is 9 months old, I love him to pieces and am also a sahm, was also a successful professional before and it's definitely a huge adjustment. He still isn't sleeping through and I'm still ebf-ing so it definitely gets overwhelming. BUT I'm just home from a lovely night out with a bit too much wine and lots of adult conversation and it's like my batteries have been recharged.

Yes, yes, yes. I have to run up and do his dream feed but I'll post when I'm done. I do. I don't know why or how, when my sister has three and copes admirably, but I'm worn out at the end of the day. I guess it doesn't help that he still stirs in the night and is currently waking up between five and six every morning (and it definitely doesn't help that he only just slept through the night a week ago and he's eight months old), but come his bedtime I'm bushed and have no energy to do anything. I have been diagnosed with PND but I'm pretty sure the bulk of this is sheer exhaustion, from disturbed sleep for so long and only two or three hours at a stretch. I find some days OK and some days I could just cry! I'm usually OK as long as everything goes right, but add a tiny bit of stress or something going pear-shaped and I find it difficult to cope. Feeding DS is one of the most challenging things at the moment, as he has the attention span of a gnat, and as he's just become mobile I feel like I can't leave him even for a second. So unless he's having a nap, I can't do anything for myself. He even has to come into the loo with me! DH and I haven't been out together since he was born either. I've only been out alone at night three or four times, and not many more times than that in the day. I think there's a lot to be said for having a balance between your life as a mum and your life as your own person and I haven't found that balance yet. I'm sure when I do I'll be happier and our lives will be easier. But as you say, I love him and I enjoy him so the rest will come. Hope you feel better soon and if you are worried about depression, talk it through with a doctor you trust. I've found that many people don't want to talk about PND - and DHs are sometimes the worst at understanding it - so you often feel embarrassed and awkward. Don't - it's an illness and nothing that's your fault. My doctor said my PND is highly influenced by hormones and exhaustion so you might find, if you're the same, once you attend to those issues you'll start feeling better. <em>edited by DubaiCat on 27/01/2011</em>

& it doesnt get easier :( DS is 14 monhts & he's hard work at the moment. He's all over the place & needs attention 24/7. He's not sleeping through anymore, he's not interested in solids or his milk, he's stubborn, & whiney. I enjoy my time with him, but it's sooo exhausting. I think it's easier for younger mums, as my friends who are in their 20s dont feel the same lik eI do. DS was an easy going baby up until he was 8.5 months then he started to change. We have a maid but I dont let her help with DS. She doesnt baby sit (my choice), or feed him. She might change his nappy from time to time if I'm occupied, or keep an eye on him if I'm taking a shower, but other than that I dont like her to help. But If I'm given the choice to go back to work & leave him, I will never do it, I cant imagine being away from him for 10+ hrs everyday. He's my life & whe he says "habeebi mamma" I really forget all the exhaustion & lack of sleep. He's sooo cheeky & cute :D