First time pregnancy - elective c-section or natural birth

You go girl! Very best of luck - just remember to do what you think is right for you and your baby above all else... nothing else matters except you and bubs having the best life together that you can! Take care and enjoy whatever!

Have had 2 deliveries, vb and a cs First was a piece of cake, of course painful, but i have prepared myself mEntally so much and was determined to do my best to experience natural drug free delivery. And love it, within 1 hour walking changing diapers, nursing, etc... Second was a an emergency cs after reaching almost 10cm (in 5 hours) drug free too, i am still in doubt it was a truly emergency. Anyway i said yes cs because my initial gyn was on leave and on duty gynae was not professional. Anyway, i am happy my baby arrived safely regardless what way. I am expecting my 3rd baby now and seeing 2 drs as i am afraid in case if i go early my initial gynae wight b on leave. So dont want on duty drs! If given all going well, i plan to go naturally unless real danger to the baby then no problem with cs. Recovery from cs wasnt easy! Even though with pain killers i was in pain when i laughed, sneezed, coughed or try to nurse baby. And it was hard to walk first 3 days. Honestly, I would CHOOSE labor pain over cs pain anytime. Dont tell me about passing a wind after the surgery! May be i should have taken more of injection pain killers for these 3 days but at the hospital it was only 1 day of injection. So may b..., i would have felt less pain. Anyway, whatever way you choose, as long as the baby comes safely thats alll matters. Good luck

OP, as you can see from the thread, no two ladies or rather no two deliveries are same. There are pros and cons of both, natural birth and C-section. Consult with your doctor and decide what is best for your circumstances. No one can predict what is going to happen, so try not to worry too much about the unknown :). As for me, I had a natural delivery after 36 hours of mostly painless labour. I was induced at 36+ weeks(my water broke so there was no choice), but waited for contractions. With all the labour inducing medicines pumped into me, even after 26 hours of waiting I was only 2 cm dilated (so much for drug free delivery I wanted ;)!). Then things started moving with pitocin and I finally delivered after what seemd like waiting forever. I took the advise of my midwife and took epidural before pitocin was injected, probably that's what saved me from sudden and strong contractions. My recovery was very fast, I was outside the home just after 3 days. I had an epsiotomy and 7 stitches, but they healed very fast. In any scenario, you cannot escape pain. What helps is how you deal with it. You could either take it in your stride and try to get back to normal life as soon as comfortably possible, or you could just be weighed down by how much x hurts. Whatever you decide, it always helps to be informed and keep an open mind. In the end, the only thing matters is you have a healthy baby to hold and hug, no matter how he comes into the world. Good luck!

I tried both, first labor without epidural and second labor with epidural...Yes it is painful but I also agree that such pain is not for everyone. Saying that, no I did not feel any less joy by taking the epidural! personally, I would take the epidural any day:))

Child brith is painful, but please remember that It's probably the most painful thing most people do voluntarily so the stories are often inflated, dramatised and become a kind of personal folk tale. m Kind of like - wow I was so drunk .... it' was incredible what I had to do ..... I cna't believe I survived, but let me tell you all about the time a lion nearly killed me ..... People wouldnl't go back for more if it were that bad, right? Personally I've delievered three children over 4 kgs naturally without drugs. My last birth was painful, but honestly HONESTLY a joy. That said, natural drug free birht is not for everyone, if you want pain relief take it - the perfect birth is the birth YOU want. C Section is a big step and not something many would recommend as a voluntary option. If you're worreid about pain, just make sure your care providers are fully informed that it's important to you. All the best. Sorry about all th typos - baby not co-operating! <em>edited by Kooky on 15/06/2012</em>

I really had to fight for my natural delivery. For some reason it was sooooo important to me at the time. I was terrified of the pain, and/or embarrassing myself, however I was more terrified of not giving my baby the best start. I'm so glad I did. Although my OBGYN always said I would need a c section due to my LOs position and size, I was up and enjoying holding my LO & showing him off within a few minutes of him arriving naturally. Even with severe contractions, and a lot of stitches, to me it was totally worth it, and I'm glad I stuck to my guns for what I wanted. I would choose natural again. Natural was right for me, but there is no right or wrong. Do what is best for you, and however it goes, try to get straight into loving your new little bundle ASAP. No one will know how they arrived whilst they are growing up anyway :) <em>edited by flydiver11 on 15/06/2012</em>

I was induced and it wasnt horrid at all. Contractions came fast but wasnt unbearable. FYI i had to be induced as a result of my meds. I was 39weeks pregnant.

I think you should go for natural but if there is a small complication or you are ask to be induced, go for the c-section. I was very keen on a natural delivery, extremely, I didnt even want an epidural, but during the last week of pregnancy the liquid went down, and I was induced at 41 weeks, I would have said not to be induced but the liquid was down and I got bells palsy 2 days before being induced. Being induced was the worst thing, I suffered so much, people come to check for dilation,and do internal exam which is horrible , the contractions extremly painful, I got swept, got induced with the pill and then with pitocin which it felt like I was being tortured, and I only dilated 3 cms after like 36 hours of pain, so I had to be rushed to an emergency c-session as they could not find liquid either. In few words, i wish I could have done an elective c-section, i would have saved so much energy which I needed for my baby and to recover from bell's palsy. So much suffering because I really wanted a natural delivery and I ended up with a c-section and totally exhausted and traumatized, even my husband cried when after 36 hours I was only 3 cms dilated. edited by imolinar on 14/06/2012 Hi Imolinar. Every woman who I have met who has been induced seems to have had a torrid time. Forcing the body to produce quick, sudden and rather unnatural contractions sounds awful. My friend said it felt like a hammer suddenly pounding away and didnt feel connected to her own body at all. Such a pity I wonder if anyone has had a positive induction experience?

[ Hi Kiwi, Sorry if you've mentioned this already and i've missed it, but where did you have your c-section? was it here in Dubai or elsewhere? And just a really stupid question, how long do you have to wait after a c-section before you can have a shower? (I know its a really minor detail but just something thats playing on my mind!!) Thanks! I had it in Doha, Qatar. Post-op I was hooked up to an IV for 24 hours and after that I was up and showered (my dressing was very light, more or less just a thin gauze with a little padding and I just took it off before the shower, let the shower water run over the wound and they put a new dressing on post shower). My surgeon used glue rather than stitches and the incision was amazingly small, I was so surprised when I saw it, literally it looked like a long cat scratch, in a 15cm line with a stitch at each end. I think different surgeons have different techniques would might effect post-op pain too. My surgeon told me she used her hands rather than instruments to get the baby out, as she felt this did less damage. I was told it was important for my recovery to try and be mobile, walk around as much as possible, as soon as possible. I truly didn't need much in the way of pain relief but you should make sure your pain is well managed so that breastfeeding etc isn't difficult. I'm not trying to sell c-sections by any means, but I was pleasantly surprised, it was a lot less pain/recovery than I had imagined. The big thing for me would be to check the hospital's policy/flexibility regarding keeping mum and baby together post-birth. I wasn't able to get my husband in the theatre with me but my surgeon did manage to keep my baby with me for the surgery and recovery, which is normal in the west but not so much here in the middle east. <em>edited by kiwispiers on 14/06/2012</em>

I have had two elective sections in the Middle East , 18 months apart . Although both were for medical reasons ( first I'd swine flu and the second baby was breech ) probably in the UK or elsewhere I think I'd have been encouraged to "try " a natural delivery . I think the horror stories about sections come from the emergency procedures . My sister had 20 hours of labour then a section and took weeks to recover . I never went into labour either time and found both experiences quite surreal but calm . Having a date and delivery time made me feel more in control as I was very anxious throughout especially the first pregnancy and have the lowest pain threshold on earth . The actual procedure was over quickly and although it was far from painless ( I cry at paper cuts ) recovery was quicker than I expected . I was up , admittedly hobbling to the bathroom ,the same day . I worried about managing my toddler tjhe 2nd time but I did ! We just took things slowly and living in a bungalow helped massively . I've been accused of cheating , being lazy and not been properly fulfilled as a woman but at the end of the day I've two heathly children and a teeny scar . Things could be worse .

Day 2 I was still not able to stand up straight, so was basically standing hunched over in the shower! It's a massive bandage which they strap on, and mine got wet but not fully soaked. Just ring the nurses when you are done, and they can put a new clean dry bandage on for you. Cool. thanks for the info. any idea which route you're gona be going down this time? edited by LMAO-DXB on 14/06/2012 I've just added my update on the July Due Date thread, have a look ;)

Day 2 I was still not able to stand up straight, so was basically standing hunched over in the shower! It's a massive bandage which they strap on, and mine got wet but not fully soaked. Just ring the nurses when you are done, and they can put a new clean dry bandage on for you. Cool. thanks for the info. any idea which route you're gona be going down this time? <em>edited by LMAO-DXB on 14/06/2012</em>

Thanks Plumie, thats good to know. Was wondering more because of the wound & dressing - if you needed to wait to keep it dry for a few days. Day 2 I was still not able to stand up straight, so was basically standing hunched over in the shower! It's a massive bandage which they strap on, and mine got wet but not fully soaked. Just ring the nurses when you are done, and they can put a new clean dry bandage on for you.

And just a really stupid question, how long do you have to wait after a c-section before you can have a shower? (I know its a really minor detail but just something thats playing on my mind!!) Thanks! LMAO - you can shower as soon as you are ready! I showered the very next morning as my section was in the afternoon and i was still "high" on drugs for the remainder of the day! It's really a mind over matter experience - you can either succumb to the fact that you had surgery and lay in bed the whole 4 days or you can just "get on with it" ;) Thanks Plumie, thats good to know. Was wondering more because of the wound & dressing - if you needed to wait to keep it dry for a few days.

Also keep in mind that not all insurance companies cover elective c-sections (we are with Bupa and it is not covered), so this may affect your decision making. Good luck!

And just a really stupid question, how long do you have to wait after a c-section before you can have a shower? (I know its a really minor detail but just something thats playing on my mind!!) Thanks! LMAO - you can shower as soon as you are ready! I showered the very next morning as my section was in the afternoon and i was still "high" on drugs for the remainder of the day! It's really a mind over matter experience - you can either succumb to the fact that you had surgery and lay in bed the whole 4 days or you can just "get on with it" ;)

As you can see from the responses below there are HUGE variations in experiences for both c-sections and vaginal birth. The worst c-section stories I have heard seem to be from emergency c-section (with a labour first). Certainly with my scheduled c-section I could easily hold my baby straight away and all my friends who have had scheduled sections have had similar experiences to mine. He was given to me to hold for the rest of my surgery and I held him the whole time in recovery and all the way back to the room. He slept on me all night and barely touched his bassinet for 48 hours (the OBGYN in fact brought her team of juniors in to see the mother who wold not put her baby down as she thought it was so lovely). Once the IV pain relief was gone I did have some pain but after the first 24 hours I only had panadol 6 hourly as pain relief, and I would forget to take it, so it really wasn't bad pain at all and I was going for long walks around the hospital wards just to get out of my room for a bit. My SIL in contrast was on much heavier painkillers for weeks and found it hard to walk after her vaginal birth resulted in internal tears. You honestly never know what will happen and how your body will respond, in many ways you are better to not even think about that part at all. All pain is scarier in advance though, the anticipation is worse than the actual pain and you forget it quickly afterwards, especially when you have a lovely healthy baby to hold! Hugsy, agree with your sentiments, once I had made the decision the c-section was safer I was at peace with it, but complete strangers were emailing me trying to talk/scare me out of it. I found that terribly rude. edited by kiwispiers on 14/06/2012 Hi Kiwi, Sorry if you've mentioned this already and i've missed it, but where did you have your c-section? was it here in Dubai or elsewhere? And just a really stupid question, how long do you have to wait after a c-section before you can have a shower? (I know its a really minor detail but just something thats playing on my mind!!) Thanks!

As you can see from the responses below there are HUGE variations in experiences for both c-sections and vaginal birth. The worst c-section stories I have heard seem to be from emergency c-section (with a labour first). Certainly with my scheduled c-section I could easily hold my baby straight away and all my friends who have had scheduled sections have had similar experiences to mine. He was given to me to hold for the rest of my surgery and I held him the whole time in recovery and all the way back to the room. He slept on me all night and barely touched his bassinet for 48 hours (the OBGYN in fact brought her team of juniors in to see the mother who wold not put her baby down as she thought it was so lovely). Once the IV pain relief was gone I did have some pain but after the first 24 hours I only had panadol 6 hourly as pain relief, and I would forget to take it, so it really wasn't bad pain at all and I was going for long walks around the hospital wards just to get out of my room for a bit. My SIL in contrast was on much heavier painkillers for weeks and found it hard to walk after her vaginal birth resulted in internal tears. You honestly never know what will happen and how your body will respond, in many ways you are better to not even think about that part at all. All pain is scarier in advance though, the anticipation is worse than the actual pain and you forget it quickly afterwards, especially when you have a lovely healthy baby to hold! Hugsy, agree with your sentiments, once I had made the decision the c-section was safer I was at peace with it, but complete strangers were emailing me trying to talk/scare me out of it. I found that terribly rude. <em>edited by kiwispiers on 14/06/2012</em>

I had 2 c-sections. One emergency and one planned. The emergency one only took place after being in labor for almost 18 hours, so I defintely tried normal first! Both bubs were just way to big. Because of the first experience the second was recommended and of course I followed my doctors advice. I would say, try for normal and see what happens on the day, doing whats best for the baby and you. If you end up with an emregency c-section though, I would suggest, if possible to ask for spinal anaesthesia. They gave me local and as a result DH was not allowed into the theatre room. I did the spinal with the second and he was there all the way. Good luck and hope it all works out well for you! It is all worth it in the end, regardless of which way you end up giving birth.

I think you should go for natural but if there is a small complication or you are ask to be induced, go for the c-section. I was very keen on a natural delivery, extremely, I didnt even want an epidural, but during the last week of pregnancy the liquid went down, and I was induced at 41 weeks, I would have said not to be induced but the liquid was down and I got bells palsy 2 days before being induced. Being induced was the worst thing, I suffered so much, people come to check for dilation,and do internal exam which is horrible , the contractions extremly painful, I got swept, got induced with the pill and then with pitocin which it felt like I was being tortured, and I only dilated 3 cms after like 36 hours of pain, so I had to be rushed to an emergency c-session as they could not find liquid either. In few words, i wish I could have done an elective c-section, i would have saved so much energy which I needed for my baby and to recover from bell's palsy. So much suffering because I really wanted a natural delivery and I ended up with a c-section and totally exhausted and traumatized, even my husband cried when after 36 hours I was only 3 cms dilated. <em>edited by imolinar on 14/06/2012</em>

I am having an elective c-section and would not have it any other way. This is not because I'm afraid of natural child birth but due to more than a few health problems leading to this decision. Initially I chose a gyni who was very pro natural birth because I was very afraid of being pushed into a c-section (I badly wanted a natural delivery) but as the pregnancy progressed I had to get my head round the fact that c-section was the way forward for me. If I were healthy and didnt have any of the problems I currently do I would love to have a natural delivery but its just not possible so over the last few weeks I've tried to make myself feel better with the pro's of a c-section. 1. I'm aware its a major surgery but unpredictable scenarios such as baby getting stuck etc will not apply to me. I was delivered via forceps and other things and came out badly bruised and blue. I would hate for that to happen to DS. 2. DH has just changed jobs and doesnt have the luxury of taking time off when we need him to so this way he has already scheduled off his leave. 3. My parents have been able to seen to what they need to and be here right in time for the delivery 4. Emotionally knowing when my baby is coming has given me the strength to get through these last 2 months no matter how difficult 5. C-section after pain doesnt have a huge bearing with me because even if I cant hold baby straight away due to any pain I'll have DH with me as well as my parents and my best friend so I wont be doing it all alone Again, I would never have chosen a c-section for the sake of it and it took me a long time to come to terms with the idea that I had to have one but I know its the right decision for me and thats what is the important thing. People will be ignorant to say to you 'I cant understand WHY on earth you'd want your stomach cut open' well the answer is simple 'Because you have no idea of my personal situation' so ignore negative comments and make the decision based on what is right for you and your baby. Your right at the end of the day its whats right for you and bubs. I watched a brilliant video yesterday funnily enough on a natural c-section in the uk (see link) and really wished my experience had been more like this. Just thought you would like to see it for some tips on making it the best experience for you. http://www.studentmidwife.net/fob/the-natural-caesarean-a-woman-centred-technique.67404/

I am having an elective c-section and would not have it any other way. This is not because I'm afraid of natural child birth but due to more than a few health problems leading to this decision. Initially I chose a gyni who was very pro natural birth because I was very afraid of being pushed into a c-section (I badly wanted a natural delivery) but as the pregnancy progressed I had to get my head round the fact that c-section was the way forward for me. If I were healthy and didnt have any of the problems I currently do I would love to have a natural delivery but its just not possible so over the last few weeks I've tried to make myself feel better with the pro's of a c-section. 1. I'm aware its a major surgery but unpredictable scenarios such as baby getting stuck etc will not apply to me. I was delivered via forceps and other things and came out badly bruised and blue. I would hate for that to happen to DS. 2. DH has just changed jobs and doesnt have the luxury of taking time off when we need him to so this way he has already scheduled off his leave. 3. My parents have been able to seen to what they need to and be here right in time for the delivery 4. Emotionally knowing when my baby is coming has given me the strength to get through these last 2 months no matter how difficult 5. C-section after pain doesnt have a huge bearing with me because even if I cant hold baby straight away due to any pain I'll have DH with me as well as my parents and my best friend so I wont be doing it all alone Again, I would never have chosen a c-section for the sake of it and it took me a long time to come to terms with the idea that I had to have one but I know its the right decision for me and thats what is the important thing. People will be ignorant to say to you 'I cant understand WHY on earth you'd want your stomach cut open' well the answer is simple 'Because you have no idea of my personal situation' so ignore negative comments and make the decision based on what is right for you and your baby.

A c-section certainly isn't an easy option. I had a natural birth followed by a c-section and then a natural birth. Hands down I felt the recovery after a natural far easier. It really suprised me how sore I actually was from the section and how much I was't able to do in comparison to feeling relatively pain free the other times. I had my section in al ain so not sure how it compares to the practise in dubai but after the operation, baby was held up to me briefly and that was the last time I saw him for 2 hours while I was in recovery. It was horrific and I only got him back after demanding from my dh. A friend of mine had to wait 6 hours! Luckily I had no trouble bonding in fact it probably made us more so as I was just so desperate to hold him and have him with me. Look into both options so you are fully informed what they both entail. As another poster has said its the fear of the inknown that is the scary part. Hilsbils what you wrote is very much the same thoughts I have regarding birth, lovely post x <em>edited by minxy on 14/06/2012</em>

I had 2 things in my mind that I would not budge on (1) natural delivery and (2) breastfeeding. The closer I got to DS's due date, the more anxious I became and the more realistic I had to be about things. (I was on medication too that had to be taken into consideration.) At my last appointment I told my doctor that of course natural is my first choice but if she sees, at any time during the labour process, that DS is in trouble, she is to cut me anyway and anyhow - DS takes priority over any preference that I may have. Thank goodness everything worked out well, and I did have a natural birth (with epidural) and it was the most amazing experience ever. The epidural was strong enough just to "take the edge off" and allow me to focus on giving birth. I tore and had 5 stitches. Not the end of the world and there's medication for that. It also healed nicely. I'm thankful everyday that I was able to experience natural birth.

Almost everyone that has a horror story will be very quick to share it. The important thing to remember is that no 2 labours and deliveries are the same. Everyone has a different experience and just because you have heard so many bad stories doesn't mean your will be a bad expereince. I had heard so many awful things and had prepared myself for the worse expereince with the greatest reward in the world and that couldn't have been further from the truth. I had a pain relief free 4 hour labour including delivery. I found the pain managable and loved the fact my body took over and did what it had to. Without drugs I could feel everything and knew when it was time. I even had to tell the midwife he was coming but I was in total control. My son was back to back and despite being told by the midwife I was more than likely need a C-section he was born in 2 pushes. I'm not saying that you will have as easy a time but there is nothing to say you won't. The fear of the unknown is a great fear but don't let it be the reason for your decision Great points - I completely agree. I had two natural deliveries with no pain relief. My first daughter was back to back, and the second was a water birth. Honestly speaking, the pain is horrible, there's no point in pretending that it was fine. However, it is only for a few hours, and then once you have the baby it's instant relief. Plus I didn't have to have any stitches at all. I was literally in the showers within an hour of delivering both times, walking on my feet, laughing, joking, etc. You really do forget the labour pains after a while, and if I had another baby then I would go natural again without a doubt. My friend had an elective c-section because she was scared of labour pains and tearing, etc. In hindsight, she completely regrets it. She told me she would wake up in the middle of the night crying with pain. Plus, she could hardly hold her baby for a week. She would like to go natural for her next delivery if she can. This is the best thing to say... i agree with with both of you... both my deliveries were different and to my choice i will deliver natural, it is a wonderful experience to feel everything during your delivery and understand everything happening with you. god created us to tolerate the pain of delivery and then forget it as soon as you see your baby in your hand. just take some one you love with you while delivery. I had my mother and husband over my head while i deliver, at least i feel more relaxed.

Almost everyone that has a horror story will be very quick to share it. The important thing to remember is that no 2 labours and deliveries are the same. Everyone has a different experience and just because you have heard so many bad stories doesn't mean your will be a bad expereince. I had heard so many awful things and had prepared myself for the worse expereince with the greatest reward in the world and that couldn't have been further from the truth. I had a pain relief free 4 hour labour including delivery. I found the pain managable and loved the fact my body took over and did what it had to. Without drugs I could feel everything and knew when it was time. I even had to tell the midwife he was coming but I was in total control. My son was back to back and despite being told by the midwife I was more than likely need a C-section he was born in 2 pushes. I'm not saying that you will have as easy a time but there is nothing to say you won't. The fear of the unknown is a great fear but don't let it be the reason for your decision Great points - I completely agree. I had two natural deliveries with no pain relief. My first daughter was back to back, and the second was a water birth. Honestly speaking, the pain is horrible, there's no point in pretending that it was fine. However, it is only for a few hours, and then once you have the baby it's instant relief. Plus I didn't have to have any stitches at all. I was literally in the showers within an hour of delivering both times, walking on my feet, laughing, joking, etc. You really do forget the labour pains after a while, and if I had another baby then I would go natural again without a doubt. My friend had an elective c-section because she was scared of labour pains and tearing, etc. In hindsight, she completely regrets it. She told me she would wake up in the middle of the night crying with pain. Plus, she could hardly hold her baby for a week. She would like to go natural for her next delivery if she can.

Almost everyone that has a horror story will be very quick to share it. The important thing to remember is that no 2 labours and deliveries are the same. Everyone has a different experience and just because you have heard so many bad stories doesn't mean your will be a bad expereince. I had heard so many awful things and had prepared myself for the worse expereince with the greatest reward in the world and that couldn't have been further from the truth. I had a pain relief free 4 hour labour including delivery. I found the pain managable and loved the fact my body took over and did what it had to. Without drugs I could feel everything and knew when it was time. I even had to tell the midwife he was coming but I was in total control. My son was back to back and despite being told by the midwife I was more than likely need a C-section he was born in 2 pushes. I'm not saying that you will have as easy a time but there is nothing to say you won't. The fear of the unknown is a great fear but don't let it be the reason for your decision

I had C-section, not my choice but due to the baby's position. I was planning for natural birth but things changed in a matter of minutes. After this experience I can say that it was the best option for me personally: the next day I got up, had a shower, walked little. Four days after I was walking, the scar was/is very small (10 cm) healed up very well. I did have little discomfort in my back, mainly when I was changing the baby's diaper as I was bending (I think this was the result of the epidural), now months after is gone. The only thing that I found difficult while I was trying to push the baby out was that I could not figure it out if I am pushing hard enough...I was thinking I am but the doctor and the midwife were telling me that I am not pushing (again, the epidural...)...Long story short, consider all your options (speak with your doctor) and do what you think is best for you and your baby

My understanding is that our bodies are designed to go through the labour process for various reasons, including release of vital hormones etc and it makes a lot of sense to me that there would be natural 'process' of intense release after the body has carried the baby for 9 months. If / when I get pregnant I would opt for natural birth as I feel it would be a very empowering experience as a woman. Most of my friends have said they found the natural birth overall a very positive experience and two said that they felt intuitively that their bodies 'knew' what to do. Of course there are so many risks and its rather ****** and gory too but I wonder if thats because we have made it into such a hospitalised/ medical condition? If we take time to reconnect with ourselves in a more intuitive and natural way it may be possible to see it as part of our natural human experience, painful or no. With all pain our fear and anticipation of it can often intensify it too, and yes I know its hellishly sore, but modern times have meant we add another layer onto it by dreading it too. Sorry to ramble and of course Ive not had my own kids but I have thought long and hard about what I would do, and have squeezed every last detail out of friends and family to understand how it must be. My one friend said it was a wonderful experience and she found it exhausting rather than painful and advised building stamina in advance. But yes of course I have heard horror stories too ... gulp. Ah to be a man is much easier, but maybe less rewarding :-)