MOTHERS!,why do you ignore your crying babies?? | Page 2 | ExpatWoman.com
 

MOTHERS!,why do you ignore your crying babies??

85 posts / 0 new
Last post
1336
Posts
EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 07 March 2013 - 17:51
Like I said, I was asking a question. I don't give judgy looks, I just feel sorry for them both since it can't be fun! Different story if it's toddlers running amok with no intervention... but that has been done to death already! I genuinely wanted to know if sometimes mums just don;t hear crying any more... I remember my mum mentioning something about when I was younger but didn't pay much attention... she said something about if she got really stressed she just didn't seem to hear us any more... i was wondering if its a common thing for many mums or not
1566
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 07 March 2013 - 17:37
Sometimes babies cry and there is nothing mummy or anyone can do to stop them......just that really. ETA, and giving mums disapproving looks in those judgey pants isn't really going to help the situation either. <em>edited by Sugarbeach on 07/03/2013</em>
1336
Posts
EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 07 March 2013 - 17:31
Genuine question here, honestly not trying to stir... but sometimes I'm in a shop and a baby is screaming blue murder, you know, that 'I'm really really hungry or poopy' scream, and the mum is just calmly looking through the clothes or whatever (maybe she just fed the baby, who knows) does it happen when you have a baby that you get to a point where you can tune out the crying? I only ask coz it drives me nuts as I feel so bad for the baby to be crying like that, that I wonder if it's some biological thing where the mum just doesn't 'hear' the baby any more? Like, if she is really stressed, does the body just tune it out? I get the walking around to calm the baby down thing, I see it all the time on the plane, but usually the mum is also saying something to the baby or touching it in some kind of way, I mean when they leave the baby to scream in a pram for 20 minutes at a time and not even glance back... I don't think this is what you ladies are describing to me as 'just getting on with it'... trying to understand the reasons why someone may do this when I see it... I can't stand the cry and want to go pick up the poor thing and give it a cuddle! :(
437
Posts
EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 07 March 2013 - 13:36
You know what, it often doesn't make a difference of the mother tends to the child or not. People will have this angry looks on their face regardless. As in: How DARE that child cry in MY presence. As they have never been crying babies themselves. My friend was on the metro station with a crying baby who was teething and she was in pain. My friend was crying with her which obviously means both are in distress, but angry looks were shot her way. I am not a mother, and yes, sometimes I wish the crying baby next to me would stop. But then, I don't think anyone can judge the mother whether she tends to them or not. We don't know her or her child. Babies cry, that's the way it is. Completely agree Maroosh. It amazes me that some people look at babies and children this way as if it's new to them. It's all about tolerance and minding your own business. You can't dictate and control what people do. Everyone is different. As for crying babies- when it was my own I hated the unwanted attention but other people's don't bother me in the slightest! I just feel for the mum.
4062
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 07 March 2013 - 13:28
But we all have the right to disagree...I see it as disagree and not judgment...interesting that that word came out often in the posts.I asked a question! Maybe you didn't mean to come across as judgmental Brigida but that's how your OP came across to me. I know that meanings and intent can get skewed when written but use of caps, multiple exclamation and question marks plus statements such as "Just cannot understand why a mother does not attend to the cries of her baby!" and "How can a mother allow this!?" comes across as shouty and very judgmental. It's nice that the majority of replies are sympathetic to mothers. When I had my first baby I spent endless hours pushing her around the streets as she cried (then eventually settled) in her buggy. I felt like the worst mother in the world but it was preferable to being at home with her feeling completely alone, increasingly desperate and like the walls were closing in as she screamed and none of my efforts to soothe her worked. Luckily I got nothing but sympathetic looks from people, a judgmental look could easily have tipped me over the edge I was teetering on
743
Posts
EW GURU
Latest post on 07 March 2013 - 13:10
I got this from a friend the other day as my third son was about to be born. I think it needs to be shared on here since there are so many judgemental people on here and out there. Good moms breastfeed. Good moms formula feed. Good moms vaccinate their kids. Good moms don't vaccinate their kids. Good moms co-sleep. Good moms use cribs. Good moms have hospital births. Good moms have home births. Good moms adopt. Good moms have natural births. Good moms have epidurals. Good moms have c-sections. Good moms have 10 kids. Good moms have 1 kid . Good moms use cloth diapers. Good moms use disposable diapers.
Anonymous (not verified)
0
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 07 March 2013 - 13:02
You know what, it often doesn't make a difference of the mother tends to the child or not. People will have this angry looks on their face regardless. As in: How DARE that child cry in MY presence. As they have never been crying babies themselves. My friend was on the metro station with a crying baby who was teething and she was in pain. My friend was crying with her which obviously means both are in distress, but angry looks were shot her way. I am not a mother, and yes, sometimes I wish the crying baby next to me would stop. But then, I don't think anyone can judge the mother whether she tends to them or not. We don't know her or her child. Babies cry, that's the way it is.
3863
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 07 March 2013 - 12:53
Does anyone else just wear their iPod when they shop at places that are more notorious than others for having lots of children around who *could* be naughty, noisy, hungry, tired, etc? Problem solved! I do that in Karama and other places where i wont be mithered
3376
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 07 March 2013 - 12:50
Does anyone else just wear their iPod when they shop at places that are more notorious than others for having lots of children around who *could* be naughty, noisy, hungry, tired, etc? Problem solved!
207
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 07 March 2013 - 12:32
I say hand the baby a credit card, send it off to Harvey Nichols with its siblings and maid in tow and call it a day Problem solved :)
3863
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 07 March 2013 - 09:49
Crying babies have never bothered me, now children bouncing around the front/back seat of a car does. Whose business is it anyway? I was in T&T last year and a Mum was trying to get her eyebrows threaded and her little one was grizzly, other patrons were giving her the evil eye and dirty looks and the baby wasnt even crying. Surely they are far worse things to worry about then a baby crying. They may of been fed, changed etc babies do cry. It isnt exactly hard to switch off
331
Posts
EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 07 March 2013 - 09:48
I don't think that mothers are not fully concentrate on what they are looking at! How will you teach your kids to behave in public places if you always feel the need of carrying/pampering the kid each time he cries? Mind as well, you stay at home and go out only when he turns 4 or 5 years old! But why should other shoppers get a headache? Why would you get an headache? You have many other shops and can just walked out without judging "mothers" so rather than a mother dealing with HER screaming child - other shoppers need to be inconvenienced - you don't think that's selfish? Or just learn some tolerance and empathy for others? umm - so we have to be empathetic to a mother ignoring a screaming child.... what about the mother being empathetic to those who do not wish to hear screaming children...... i think all people are empathetic when the issue is being dealt with..... but leaving child to scream is not dealing with it. Well why not ask the mother why she is doing that, you may find valid reason, those with children would probably not need explanation but it may be helpful for those who have never had children,it really makes such a difference. It seems (according to this forum) there are many issues posters find annoying and maybe it's the way it comes accross in the written word, but the lack of tolerance for others shines quite clearly at times. Be that mosque noise, children crying, children asking to play..................Unless one wishes to live as a hermit in solitude on some far flung island then maybe some should try harder to understand others and become more accepting and tolerent of differences? Well said.
826
Posts
EW GURU
Latest post on 07 March 2013 - 09:47
Babies cry all the time and pretty sure that the mothers don't ignore their cries for a valid reason. [b'>There are no bad mothers, [/b'>just bad judgements from others. What I think is selfish is that many of people on here think that kids shouldn't be out (restaurants, parks, shows and malls) because others will be annoyed by the sound of kid's cries (even if it takes a minute). There are a lot of bad mothers.... what nonsense to write. Wooo. another judgemental comment Not judgemental - fact.
2738
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 07 March 2013 - 09:44
I don't think that mothers are not fully concentrate on what they are looking at! How will you teach your kids to behave in public places if you always feel the need of carrying/pampering the kid each time he cries? Mind as well, you stay at home and go out only when he turns 4 or 5 years old! But why should other shoppers get a headache? Why would you get an headache? You have many other shops and can just walked out without judging "mothers" so rather than a mother dealing with HER screaming child - other shoppers need to be inconvenienced - you don't think that's selfish? Or just learn some tolerance and empathy for others? umm - so we have to be empathetic to a mother ignoring a screaming child.... what about the mother being empathetic to those who do not wish to hear screaming children...... i think all people are empathetic when the issue is being dealt with..... but leaving child to scream is not dealing with it. Well why not ask the mother why she is doing that, you may find valid reason, those with children would probably not need explanation but it may be helpful for those who have never had children,it really makes such a difference. It seems (according to this forum) there are many issues posters find annoying and maybe it's the way it comes accross in the written word, but the lack of tolerance for others shines quite clearly at times. Be that mosque noise, children crying, children asking to play..................Unless one wishes to live as a hermit in solitude on some far flung island then maybe some should try harder to understand others and become more accepting and tolerent of differences?
331
Posts
EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 07 March 2013 - 09:41
Babies cry all the time and pretty sure that the mothers don't ignore their cries for a valid reason. [b'>There are no bad mothers, [/b'>just bad judgements from others. What I think is selfish is that many of people on here think that kids shouldn't be out (restaurants, parks, shows and malls) because others will be annoyed by the sound of kid's cries (even if it takes a minute). There are a lot of bad mothers.... what nonsense to write. Wooo. another judgemental comment
826
Posts
EW GURU
Latest post on 07 March 2013 - 09:37
Babies cry all the time and pretty sure that the mothers don't ignore their cries for a valid reason. [b'>There are no bad mothers, [/b'>just bad judgements from others. What I think is selfish is that many of people on here think that kids shouldn't be out (restaurants, parks, shows and malls) because others will be annoyed by the sound of kid's cries (even if it takes a minute). There are a lot of bad mothers.... what nonsense to write.
2738
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 07 March 2013 - 09:35
I have never entered a shop and thought, ugh, an annoying crying baby. Little kids running around like it's a playground, yes, but noisy newborns? No...where do you all shop that this is such a problem? Exactly Sakhifa, what sort of person would be upset by a young baby crying?
826
Posts
EW GURU
Latest post on 07 March 2013 - 09:33
I don't think that mothers are not fully concentrate on what they are looking at! How will you teach your kids to behave in public places if you always feel the need of carrying/pampering the kid each time he cries? Mind as well, you stay at home and go out only when he turns 4 or 5 years old! But why should other shoppers get a headache? Why would you get an headache? You have many other shops and can just walked out without judging "mothers" so rather than a mother dealing with HER screaming child - other shoppers need to be inconvenienced - you don't think that's selfish? Or just learn some tolerance and empathy for others? umm - so we have to be empathetic to a mother ignoring a screaming child.... what about the mother being empathetic to those who do not wish to hear screaming children...... i think all people are empathetic when the issue is being dealt with..... but leaving child to scream is not dealing with it.
331
Posts
EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 07 March 2013 - 09:32
I don't think that mothers are not fully concentrate on what they are looking at! How will you teach your kids to behave in public places if you always feel the need of carrying/pampering the kid each time he cries? Mind as well, you stay at home and go out only when he turns 4 or 5 years old! But why should other shoppers get a headache? Why would you get an headache? You have many other shops and can just walked out without judging "mothers" so rather than a mother dealing with HER screaming child - other shoppers need to be inconvenienced - you don't think that's selfish? Babies cry all the time and pretty sure that the mothers don't ignore their cries for a valid reason. There are no bad mothers, just bad judgements from others. What I think is selfish is that many of people on here think that kids shouldn't be out (restaurants, parks, shows and malls) because others will be annoyed by the sound of kid's cries (even if it takes a minute).
1120
Posts
EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 07 March 2013 - 09:32
I have never entered a shop and thought, ugh, an annoying crying baby. Little kids running around like it's a playground, yes, but noisy newborns? No...where do you all shop that this is such a problem?
2738
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 07 March 2013 - 09:30
I don't think that mothers are not fully concentrate on what they are looking at! How will you teach your kids to behave in public places if you always feel the need of carrying/pampering the kid each time he cries? Mind as well, you stay at home and go out only when he turns 4 or 5 years old! But why should other shoppers get a headache? Why would you get an headache? You have many other shops and can just walked out without judging "mothers" so rather than a mother dealing with HER screaming child - other shoppers need to be inconvenienced - you don't think that's selfish? Or just learn some tolerance and empathy for others?
826
Posts
EW GURU
Latest post on 07 March 2013 - 09:22
I don't think that mothers are not fully concentrate on what they are looking at! How will you teach your kids to behave in public places if you always feel the need of carrying/pampering the kid each time he cries? Mind as well, you stay at home and go out only when he turns 4 or 5 years old! But why should other shoppers get a headache? Why would you get an headache? You have many other shops and can just walked out without judging "mothers" so rather than a mother dealing with HER screaming child - other shoppers need to be inconvenienced - you don't think that's selfish?
331
Posts
EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 07 March 2013 - 09:18
I don't think that mothers are not fully concentrate on what they are looking at! How will you teach your kids to behave in public places if you always feel the need of carrying/pampering the kid each time he cries? Mind as well, you stay at home and go out only when he turns 4 or 5 years old! But why should other shoppers get a headache? Why would you get an headache? You have many other shops and can just walked out without judging "mothers"
2738
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 07 March 2013 - 09:12
Never witnessed this at all, maybe i don't spend enough time shopping in malls and mind my own business.
784
Posts
EW GURU
Latest post on 07 March 2013 - 08:31
The only reason I can think is this: Mothers are humans too. At those period, they are still being emotional from birth etc etc. Perhaps those are the ones who don't have help at home, and with a baby who constantly crying, the best thing to do before they loose their mind and do something stupid is to let it cry for a while, while the moms gather their thoughts. And perhaps you did caught them at the wrong time. I am a mom and I can totally relate. Are you a mom OP? as If you're not, it's easy to point fingers. :D
166
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 07 March 2013 - 08:30
I don't think that mothers are not fully concentrate on what they are looking at! How will you teach your kids to behave in public places if you always feel the need of carrying/pampering the kid each time he cries? Mind as well, you stay at home and go out only when he turns 4 or 5 years old! are we still discussing babies or older kids ? Its sad if you think picking up a crying baby is "pampering" him/her... so much thats wrong with child rearing today.
826
Posts
EW GURU
Latest post on 07 March 2013 - 08:30
I don't think that mothers are not fully concentrate on what they are looking at! How will you teach your kids to behave in public places if you always feel the need of carrying/pampering the kid each time he cries? Mind as well, you stay at home and go out only when he turns 4 or 5 years old! But why should other shoppers get a headache?
331
Posts
EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 07 March 2013 - 08:01
I don't think that mothers are not fully concentrate on what they are looking at! How will you teach your kids to behave in public places if you always feel the need of carrying/pampering the kid each time he cries? Mind as well, you stay at home and go out only when he turns 4 or 5 years old!
4329
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 07 March 2013 - 07:13
Different ladies and attitude towards crying babies,I suppose. I usually picked mine up and attended to her and preferred her crying in my arms,feeling my protection while trying to hushh her...and note that I'm talking about young babies...not naught tods! But some of you see it different, like Karin B,feeling that tough love will prevent them for clinging forever...I totally disagree,sorry. But we all have the right to disagree...I see it as disagree and not judgment...interesting that that word came out often in the posts.I asked a question! I have three children...one of them were super colicky, by the book!!....for six months she was in my arms,mostly crying.She had 3 pediatricians and no one could cure her...across from where we stayed,a family lived who lost their child from cancer...I knew this lady would give the world to just hold her crying child in her arms for one more day,clean her nappies and see to her needs...it motivated me to carry on.Today that little girl of mine is a star! I rest my case that I disagree with leaving an infant to cry while mom shops and no,she is not on her way to go and feed him while she is simply checking out from shop to shop,what is new! But as I said,I rest my case and thank you all for your opinions...interesting some of them! I know exactly what you are talking about and it does my head in too! We are not talking about the Mums caught short by feeding times - we are talking about the shop BROWSERS who continue to do so while their little babies cry non stop. How can they even concentrate on what they are looking at? I can't.
1370
Posts
EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 07 March 2013 - 06:52
My eldest DH would scream and throw herself about if held...she was only happy in the Baby Bjorn. Believe me, I held her/carried her a lot but sometimes I had no option to walk about in the mall with her...the screaming didn't seem quite as bad there. Please don't judge until you have walked in someoneelse's shoes. It transpired at 3 months that my DH had a serious kidney problem which was probably causing the distress but it took 3 months and numerous DESPERATE visits to GP's before she was diagnosed. Maybe looked as if I was walking about ignoring her but inside my stomach was churning. I used to spend hours and hours with her in the Baby Bjorn walking round and the car in the car port (too hot and sunny to walk her outside) Unless she was moving she was screaming.
 
 

ON EXPATWOMAN TODAY