Need to vent - shaking with fury | Page 2 | ExpatWoman.com
 

Need to vent - shaking with fury

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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 06 November 2013 - 18:39
Truly, I cannot understand the mean spiritedness and narrow mindedness of some of our fellow posters. Do you have no compassion? And, might I add, "What a terrific memory!!!" What is your secret? You should bottle it and sell it!!!!! TDB, ignore those less fortunately who can't see past the forest for want of all the trees blocking their view and enjoy your special celebration! Allah has seen fit to bless you with a wonderful family - be happy. Sidling up to Mrs.B. As being on the nasty end a few times in the far distance...i will stand beside her and her opinion as they are also mine. As for the 'terrific memory' the search button holds many secrets to dredge up :)
Anonymous (not verified)
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 06 November 2013 - 18:32
Truly, I cannot understand the mean spiritedness and narrow mindedness of some of our fellow posters. Do you have no compassion? And, might I add, "What a terrific memory!!!" What is your secret? You should bottle it and sell it!!!!! TDB, ignore those less fortunately who can't see past the forest for want of all the trees blocking their view and enjoy your special celebration! Allah has seen fit to bless you with a wonderful family - be happy.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 06 November 2013 - 16:32
TDB, I love your posts, sense of humour , & no nonsense approach. You often make me smile so thank you. To add my wedding story, My second marriage to a wonderful man. Completely determind to have with us on our special day those nearest & dearest to us. Invited all our family( many in a different country) So it was a small personal wedding. I refused to invite my brothers drunken trouble making girlfriend, which totally put my Mothers nose out of joint as that could have endangered her favourite grandson attending. When I arrived at my Mothers house elighted & excited to show her my grand daughters flower girls dresses & my grandsons suits. She only wanted to argue with me about her favourite grandson. To say I was hurt dosent come close. My Mother died recently & this event still sadends me. Her complete lack of interest in OUR special day with Our children & grandchildren. Its not easy especially as you have gone all out to make this a wonderful day, but enjoy it to the full. Your DD will I have no doubt. :) Many congratulations on your marriage & the new baby. God bless you all, ( Wish I could see the photos, I know they are going to be amazing ) :)
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 06 November 2013 - 14:43
At mine the Groom and his friends all turned up 30 minutes late None of them were from where I live and we forgot to give the Best Man directions to the venue and my Husband couldn't remember as he had only been there once! TDB I hope you have a lovely day
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 06 November 2013 - 14:12
Let's face it - trying to organize a wedding can be like herding cats!
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EW GURU
Latest post on 06 November 2013 - 13:59
I book hotels a lot in my job (not a hooker) and I can use either my ID or passport. Not sure if it's different in AD but thought I'd mention I love the pointed clarification
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 06 November 2013 - 13:34
I agree about the dress code, its totally bad manners to turn up to a wedding in leggings or jeans. Being invited to someones wedding is a special occasion and something they have probably been planning all their life. For the sake of that, is it really a big effort to put on something smart and brush ones hair?! I remember a wedding I went to once and the brides family were all dressed in proper wedding attire. The grooms family all turned up in shorts and t-shirts and some even in work wear. They even carried plastic bags with their own booze in. Needless to say that went down like a s*** sandwich with the brides mother!! Point is, you want your day to be perfect and people should perhaps think about how they would feel if someone was so flippant about their wedding day. I hope you have a wonderful day and things all come right. This day is about you and your hubby. If they continue to annoy you on the day, pull the plug on the free bar!!
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EW GURU
Latest post on 06 November 2013 - 12:58
Yes I did do things the "correct way" lol - I fell pregnant on my last honeymoon and my DD was born 9 months and 6 days after my wedding date. For all the mathematicians and religious folk who have concerned themselves with this. Let's not forget we were all v!rgins on our wedding days no? :D touche !!!!
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 06 November 2013 - 12:37
Yes I did do things the "correct way" lol - I fell pregnant on my last honeymoon and my DD was born 9 months and 6 days after my wedding date. For all the mathematicians and religious folk who have concerned themselves with this. Let's not forget we were all v!rgins on our wedding days no? :D Of course ;-)
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EW GURU
Latest post on 06 November 2013 - 12:25
Yes I think she eloped - sounds like a good plan B this time around too. Imagine doing it again at a ceremony you're having to include everyone who couldnt make it for the first time! lol
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EW GURU
Latest post on 06 November 2013 - 12:23
I book hotels a lot in my job (not a hooker) and I can use either my ID or passport. Not sure if it's different in AD but thought I'd mention
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 06 November 2013 - 12:18
This is why there is an order of events, marriage, children. TDB did follow that order. She has been married for a while now. This is a blessing or renewal of vows ceremony...
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 06 November 2013 - 12:14
Hi TDB, I can 100% empathise with your situation! So sorry to hear you are having such a nightmare but i hope the following story gives you a laugh! I got married in Dubai and it was a logistical nightmare. First of all every man and his dog wanted to fly out to the wedding and we had a very limited budget. I ended up being brutal and putting many noses out of joint (I only invited 14 people which included closest relatives and one friend of mine from the UK). The hairdresser charged a fortune because it was a Friday, the hotel had arranged the honeymoon suite with twin beds *rolls eyes*. We all turned up at the wrong beach (the Pastor was on a beach further down which he hadnt told us about)..we had to wait 30 mins for the Pastor to drive round to marry us. All of our wedding photos have masses of Pakistani men wearing speedos in them as they all crowded round (I wouldnt have it any other way, they were lovely and it was hilarious!). The reception venue arranged the cake in all of its protective casing rather than taking it out and arranging nicely and provided an icing spatula to cut the bleedin thing.. and then the reception venue charged us 3K for the final round of drinks for 16 of us after we had already paid 4K for the "free bar"...we checked the bill and they were scamming us...the final bill was in fact only about AED 500... ....And after all of this we had the best day of our lives, we had such a laugh!...have to have a sense of humour in these situations or you will drive yourself potty. I hope everything works out for you!...I know how stressful it is but this is your day and dont you forget it!! Relax, embrace whatever happens on the day because that's what makes it unique and special :-) xxx
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 06 November 2013 - 12:12
This is why there is an order of events, marriage, children. And that is the law according to who? :D God, The land......
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EW GURU
Latest post on 06 November 2013 - 12:04
This is why there is an order of events, marriage, children. And that is the law according to who? :D
Anonymous (not verified)
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 06 November 2013 - 11:51
TDB, I always read all your posts with great interest. You have always sounded like a rational, calm, and very intelligent person. I am so sorry to hear that, what should be one of the most wonderful and memorable days of your life, is upsetting you so much. I suggest you ignore everyone and just do what you want, enjoy your day. As for bringing uninvited guests. I think that it is a normal thing for GCC weddings and perhaps people are just "carrying that over" - I am trying to be kind here. It is, and all your western guests should know this, extremely rude and just plain bad form, to bring anyone to a wedding party, even as your partner, unless the invitation specifies it. Should anyone telephone to ask if they can bring a friend, I would plainly tell them NO! This is your day. Do it your way! Ignore what others may think. Relax!!!! I wish you all the happiness in the world. I am sure that once you get there and the functions gets started, you will forget all this rubbish and carryings-on and just get caught up in all the wonderful moments that a new marriage promises. Good luck!
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 06 November 2013 - 11:39
Good Luck TDB :-)
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 06 November 2013 - 11:36
This is why there is an order of events, marriage, children.
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 06 November 2013 - 09:59
Hi TDB, I'm glad you are feeling better this morning and you have the hairdresser sorted. I can totally understand your frustration and I don't think you are expecting too much from people. You really have a lot on your plate with your little one to look after and you're expecting too so try to take it as easy as you can. Maybe have a standard email reply ready that you can send to everyone who is asking questions; list all the details with bullets points and important parts in bold. Try to give your mobile to a good friend on the day so you don't have to deal with calls yourself. I'm sure everything will work out on the day and all your careful planning and attention to detail will pay off.
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 06 November 2013 - 09:56
Oh TDB, I feel for you. Organising a wedding can be so stressful and that's without the added stress of a baby and being pregnant to contend with! If it makes you feel any better, I was a bridesmaid in Australia and the bride and groom asked their families to please dress smartly. For one of her new brother in laws this obviously meant tucking his rugby league top in to his jeans ;) Don't worry about what people wear. Before my wedding I would have said I'd be a bit ticked off to see jeans etc but on the day a few people wore jeans and shorts and it didn't bother me at all, I was just thrilled they were there to share such a happy day with me. A lot of the things that seemed important before the day that I micro managed totally turned out to be not important at all. Conversly, the one thing I wish I had taken more time over was my wedding jewellery. I really wish I'd gotten something special I could pass down to my daughter rather than what I had. Have a wonderful day, it will all be fine.
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 06 November 2013 - 09:50
you do sound very stressed, and you have a lot of stuff to co-ordinate and people flying in from all over the place. I remember my own wedding, and although it was small and low budget, it was a shambles in terms of demanding family, people making hurtful and judgemental comments and wanting everything made easy for them, and people deciding to bring random boyfriends (uninvited) and random aunty nosing her way in with a video camera into everything, without checking first. So, my advice would be - take some deep breaths, get some good sleep and rest, maintain a sense of humour (if people can't get the basics right, like the hotel name, then it just makes them look ridiculous, not you) and please don't become so upset and angry that you can't enjoy your day. You've clearly gone to a lot of trouble but if you are looking for appreciation and for everyone to get it right, accept it now that it won't happen. Once you've reconciled yourself with the fact that some people WILL phone you on the day for directions, some people WILL be late and come dressed not quite how you had in mind, then everything will be a bonus! It's very frustrating dealing with relatives/friends who want everything on a plate but they are grown ups and can find their way to a hotel on time if they want to. If they can't, then there's nothing you can do - just get on with it. Let go and breathe! And very best wishes to you on your blessing day. I am sure it will be just lovely, and your friends and family WILL enjoy spending the day with you to celebrate.
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 06 November 2013 - 09:41
Glad things are looking better today, organising a wedding is so stressful and I don't think it means that you've lost sight of why you are getting married, it is just so much to arrange. And I think you are totally justified in getting frustrated with your guests for asking for information that they have already been given, how hard can it be to read an invitation? When we got married some of our guests were the worst and it really surprised me because it was people who I wouldn't have expected - sorting out the guest list was the only thing in the whole of the planning that had me in tears on numerous occasions. Our best man called me on the MORNING of the wedding to say that he didn't understand why his girlfriend couldn't sit with him on the top table! A fair enough question you may think - if we hadn't been through it all before with him and made sure we had introduced her to the people she was to be sitting with and they had said they were perfectly happy. When I am a bridesmaid or a guest at a wedding I do what I am told, wear what I am told, turn up when I am asked to and I don't question it. One friend decided that her wedding she would totally mix everyone up so that all of her friends and family would meet each other so we were all sitting on random tables with random people (not even with our partners) - I hated it but still smiled and said to her what a nice idea it was because she had been so pleased with it. I don't understand why some people have to be difficult. I hope you have a fantastic day and I am sure that on the day everything will be perfect and that any little details you are worrying about won't matter. If anyone does turn up looking like they are off for a day on the beach then it will only be them that looks silly, not you. Congratulations!
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EW GURU
Latest post on 06 November 2013 - 09:37
Hey TDB, Really sorry to hear about all the stress you are having. i don't think you are being remotely unreasonable. If you are your friends and families organiser they are prob so used to you doing everything for them. I have friends like these and always end up sorting everything for them. When it came to the wedding, i thankfully had an awesome bridesmaid who took over this for me, she literally made stress free bubble around me. Are you having a BM? At some point you have to say no or say nothing, refer them to the invite and leave it. Although saying that i arrived on time for my wedding and had to leave for 10mins as 1/2 the guests hadn't arrived. if had my way i would gone in anyway. As for dress code its your wedding, they are your guest its not like they need to buy anything new or rent a tux. I hope you get hairdresser sorted. No matter what happens on the day from the moment you wake up just let it go. Yes you have decided to have this party for other people but its about you and your hubby so enjoy it. It really is wonderful to have everyone there for you. Someone will dress inappropriately someone will be late but it won't matter honestly :) have a wonderful day.
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 06 November 2013 - 09:25
or bbq in the desert ;)
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 06 November 2013 - 09:21
Dear TDB I wish you all the very best. Everything shall fall in its place and you will enjoy your special day. Don't take stress, I know most of us women thrive on stress (I do unfortunately). I too am in the midst of organising an event which is very special to my hubbby and me, it for our DS. I am learning to keep cool and take things as it comes. The event is back home, but I am organinsing from here with the help of my family; I am getting cold feet but pray that it all falls in place and that we enjoy the planning moments and the big day of our DS. If someone does not appreciate what you are doing, let go and you carry on with a smile. Take care and hugs your way. xx
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 06 November 2013 - 09:04
Pastels are open Fridays: The Ritz-Carlton Dubai Branch Seven days a week 9am to 7pm Mercato Mall Branch Saturday to Thursday 9am to 9pm Friday 10am-9pm Apparently they also offer an "At Home" service "where our stylists or therapists can carry out your required treatments in the comfort of your own home." -- that could be a good stress reducer! ETA: Re the issue with the venue not accepting the ID receipt, you could contact the consumer protection people (www.consumerrights.ae or 600 54 5555) or even just threaten to do so... <em>edited by Tartiflette on 06/11/2013</em>
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 06 November 2013 - 09:03
Coincidentally, it is National Stress Awareness Day in the UK today. I hope you are feeling calmer and happier this morning, TDB, it is really not good for you to stress at the moment. But you knew that :) http://www.isma.org.uk/about-national-stress-awareness-day-nsad/
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 06 November 2013 - 08:36
Those calling TDB have clearly never had to organise anything like this - weddings are stressful. It can be one of the most frustrating and stressful things you can ever organise. I basically did everything myself, but decided to just do something small, with a few close friends - couldn't be bothered of the drama of something massive. TDB, find someone else to deal with everything on the day - you are meant to enjoy it, not be running round after people making sure everything is perfect. Guests trying to invite others? No way! You have a list, it's a wedding, they can't just bring anyone. How hard is it really to understand that it's a wedding - dress codes apply - don't look like a tramp or a clubber - it's not brain surgery. I do hope you have a wonderful day and good luck with everything.
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EW GURU
Latest post on 06 November 2013 - 08:24
Good luck TDB and try to enjoy your day regardless...def contest the tourism fee charge, that is ridiculous. As for the hair, if all else fails, perhaps you could get a nice wavy blowdry or something the day before (no idea what your hair is like of course!) and put some hair decorations on for the wedding day, a nice hair clip or some fresh flowers. I find my hair generally looks better the day after I've been to the salon anyway. We also had an outdoors wedding a few years back and guests arrived an hour late thus leaving us hardly any time for nice outdoors photos (sunset...) plus we had 70 guests and about 10 more showed up at the venue who ahem hadn't been invited by us and of course had not been taken into consideration for the seating arrangements. I just told them grab a seat and make yourselves comfortable and that was that. Just have nice drinks for those who drink and great music and you'll be fine! Enjoy your day and have fun!!!
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 06 November 2013 - 07:57
http://www.styletogo-salon.com/ Try these guys - they are very helpful!
 
 

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