would you censor your own child's reading? | ExpatWoman.com
 

would you censor your own child's reading?

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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 26 January 2011 - 17:10

my sister just gave my 12 year old niece the stieg larsson millenium trilogy box set. i don't know what to think of it :(

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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 27 January 2011 - 08:05
actually, the Da vinci Code is a novel CA :) If your child is in a comic book reading mode, or trash mode it really does not matter at the time. Just the fact your child is reading is wonderful. I used to read everything, cereal boxes were a breadfast staple lol...I reread books and keep my favorites. Not all are classics and I have read some obscure writers that told wonderful stories :)...so, as long as your child is reading, it will take him or her away to a wonderland and away from the T.V. and computer and make trips so much shorter for them :)
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 27 January 2011 - 03:43
I read anything that I think may be a little too mature for my 12 year old before I let her read it. That's how I became hooked on Twilight and Vampire Diaries. Now we're back in Australia it's great - I can just go to the library and she can choose books from the young teens section at the library and I know they're pretty safe. She's into all the Dance Academy books at the moment and ABC3 (tv station in Australia) has a Dance Academy Marathon on this weekend - can't wait to tape it (I love it too).
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EW GURU
Latest post on 27 January 2011 - 03:38
Sorry, but for me this is a no brainer... there is no way in h3ll I would let my 12 year old read it regardless of how mature I thought they were. I'm pretty open minded and have been around the block once or twice but even I found it confronting!
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 27 January 2011 - 00:54
Custard Apple I can't agree more... I was "above my age" (whateva) with reading...and read so many apparently adult books..... If you are ready for it, you wil take it on board, if you're not, then you won't - and you will decipher it accordigly. Much like life really. I remember having read most of the adult section of the library in my village as a child as the librarian could see me coming back for more every week - I think when I resorted to the "baby names" out of curiosity for a friend in a fix, my mum raised her eyebrows...... In the main - I was brought up to read - and to enjoy everything.... And you can't censor that.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 27 January 2011 - 00:10
In reply to the original question - no, I wouldn't keep the book from the 12-year-old. It's so clunkily plotted and poorly written (or possibly badly-translated?), as well as [i'>endlessly[/i'> long, that it's very unlikely she'll make it through to any of the scenes that involve s*xual violence towards women. It's not a book calculated to appeal to the average 12-year-old. I think the only involvement parents should have in their children's reading is to continue to challenge them by exposing them to new books, so they don't lodge in Harry Potter eternally, or think all good books have to involve sparkly vampires, or become one of those adults who think [i'>The Da Vinci Code[/i'> is a novel. Having said that, in the OP's shoes I might have a word with the sister and ask why she's giving my 12-year-old novels about international prostitution rings.
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EW GURU
Latest post on 26 January 2011 - 23:08
I think it really depends on the child and their maturity. I was a little old person in a young body when it came to reading. By the time I was 12 I had read all of James Herbet's books, most of Stephen King's (including IT!) and Jaws! When I was 13 I found a copy of 9 and a Half Weeks under my Dad's bed so read that, haha!
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 26 January 2011 - 22:49
As for Shirley Jackson, The Lottery is probably only one or two of her books I haven't read - the ones I have are just "creepy" (as in scary or double entendres for who is evil and who is not). As for censorship, it may be easier here in terms of access to actual books. At home, once I graduated to the adult section at the library, my parents didn't censor (about 10 or 12 years old). But a LOT of stuff is available online - how do you control that? Especially outside the home. edited by marycatherine on 26/01/2011 yeah, so i read this a while back. still scares me. i totally would have moved from that town.
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 26 January 2011 - 22:34
Yes up until about 13 or so I think I should have the choice about what they read. After that (or an age I deem mature enough), I would allow them to read whatever they want (even if I didn't particularly like it). I think I would always know what they were reading though and look it up online myself (ie to ask them questions about the book and see if they have any questions about what's written).
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 26 January 2011 - 21:37
As for Shirley Jackson, The Lottery is probably only one or two of her books I haven't read - the ones I have are just "creepy" (as in scary or double entendres for who is evil and who is not). As for censorship, it may be easier here in terms of access to actual books. At home, once I graduated to the adult section at the library, my parents didn't censor (about 10 or 12 years old). But a LOT of stuff is available online - how do you control that? Especially outside the home. <em>edited by marycatherine on 26/01/2011</em>
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 26 January 2011 - 21:10
Sorry OP i haven t read the whole thread but my simple answer is yes I would I feel its up to us as parents to set the bar with regards to our children and so yes :)
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 26 January 2011 - 20:59
I go through this regularly at the moment with DD. I'm surprised by much of what her friends are watching and although she's asking to watch them I know, and she does too really, that it's not suitable and will scare her - she's always got very into what she watches and reads and it affects her. My line is that you can't unsee what you've seen or unread what you've read. It's better to wait than be scarred by something. My mother was taken to see Disney's Snow White when she was 3 and wouldn't go back into a cinema until she was at least 18! My other concern is that although many of her peers (Yr 3) have seen all the Harry Potter films, and others like them, they don't understand what they're watching and what they take away is muddled. They're children for such a short amount of time, I think they should enjoy it. You're not wrong, I vividly remember my father taking me to see my first film, before we had a television, "Bambi" at the Kingston Odeon, when I was but a baby (3 or 4, I should think). Scarred for life, I was. Can't drive through Richmond Park without a tear even nowadays ;)
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 26 January 2011 - 20:51
I had the opposite approach with my son reading Harry Potter when he was quite young - at the beginning of year 3. He wasn't scared and he should have been by book 4 so I stopped him reading it until he was older and could understand what was going on. The books were written for older children and I think he would enjoy them more when he is older. He read one the first Roman Mystery novel which contains a suicide which I think is also age inappropriate.
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 26 January 2011 - 20:40
And does anyone remember Class Reunion by Rona Jaffe? I pilfered it from my mother's bookshelf and it left me completely haunted. Oh, I loved her books. I think I read them after I was 18, though, so didn't make such an impact. "The Group", by Mary McCarthy, now that's something - again, I read it when I was an adult. Always subject to the Papal Index, though - any cradle Carthlics remember that, then? The movie version was on MGM the other night.................innocent times then, that anyone could have bren shocked........even in the 60's
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 26 January 2011 - 20:30
I go through this regularly at the moment with DD. I'm surprised by much of what her friends are watching and although she's asking to watch them I know, and she does too really, that it's not suitable and will scare her - she's always got very into what she watches and reads and it affects her. My line is that you can't unsee what you've seen or unread what you've read. It's better to wait than be scarred by something. My mother was taken to see Disney's Snow White when she was 3 and wouldn't go back into a cinema until she was at least 18! My other concern is that although many of her peers (Yr 3) have seen all the Harry Potter films, and others like them, they don't understand what they're watching and what they take away is muddled. They're children for such a short amount of time, I think they should enjoy it.
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 26 January 2011 - 20:26
And does anyone remember Class Reunion by Rona Jaffe? I pilfered it from my mother's bookshelf and it left me completely haunted. Oh, I loved her books. I think I read them after I was 18, though, so didn't make such an impact. "The Group", by Mary McCarthy, now that's something - again, I read it when I was an adult. Always subject to the Papal Index, though - any cradle Carthlics remember that, then?
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 26 January 2011 - 20:21
yes. i would censor. my parents censored me and i'm quite happy they did. (now). some of the things i read after i was old enough, i wish i hadn't.
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 26 January 2011 - 20:17
And does anyone remember Class Reunion by Rona Jaffe? I pilfered it from my mother's bookshelf and it left me completely haunted.
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 26 January 2011 - 20:10
My mom didn't censor, and I remember being confused and a little haunted by the things I read. Shirley Jackson's The Lottery gave me nightmares for months after I read it in my babysitter's homework book. Oh my god....I thought I was the only one! It still gives me nightmares! hahahah! It did the same thing to me............after someone cut and pasted it on EW.................the grammar, the clunking prose..........the derivative plot line............the horror, the horror of it all:\::\::\: I downloaded the book with that story in and gave up. I read the whole of the Lottery but I just didn't get the other stories.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 26 January 2011 - 20:00
I remember reading my mum's Essentials magazines every month. They were chock full of s3x articles and I remember asking my mum plainly: "What is s3x?" She was not pleased, hahaha! Would fold in ads of bare naked ladies. Of course, I would unfold them to see what the big deal was and was shocked a woman allowed someone to photograph her like that, haha. Was about eleven or so, I think. Essentials was a pretty good magazine before they changed the editor and it was filled with Cosmopolitan and fashion/makeup sh i t and became like any other cheap mag.
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 26 January 2011 - 19:59
I did to a point. When he started reading chapter books I also started reading his books ;)....we would talk about them and I would ask questions about parts I was not sure he was ready to understand so we talked them out. Now, Ann Rices books were a shocker to me lol...I read the 1st one which talked about contraltos (which I of course had to look up) and all the inuendos/s e x/ etc.. talked it over with the husband and we agreed to let him continue with it, but at the end, we talked about it and it turned out, he did nto understand alot of it so ignored it...anyway, I suppose that is some form of censorship. I do think we should know what our kids are reading and take the time to review it ourselves ...there are some books that might totally confuse them and they get squewed ideas because of misunderstandings of what they are reading, so, it is good to have a handle on it with them...to a point :)
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 26 January 2011 - 19:45
My parents "censored" what I read by dint of my father bringing a book purchased from W H Smith in the Strand, when it was a book shop, not a stationer's, home for me to read every Friday night - a real treat!! Against my incessant begging for more Mystery of the.. stories, he replaced Enid Blyton with E Nesbit when I was 7 and brought back the Railway Children and Little Lord Fauntleroy at about the same time. Louisa M Alcott and L M Montgomery and thingummy Coolidge (What Katy Did) were long-time favourites of mine and he introduced me to Stig of the Dump, as well. By the time I was 10, I was well into the habit of regularly visiting our local library, where at the age of 13 I was allowed to move from the Children's Library (I'd read everything in it twice) to the world of adults.. <em>edited by simpleasabc on 26/01/2011</em>
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 26 January 2011 - 19:40
my parents never censored my reading... and i have fond memories of sneakily reading my mum's er [i'>trashy[/i'> paperbacks she kept under the bed LOL !! so, she didnt leave the trashy stuff out for your pleasure then.....hmmmmm I would think they were under the bed for a reason.... lol..sensing a little censorship happening.... probably hiding them from my dad !! lol (he had "penthouse" under his side LOL ). The only one i remember was "poor cow" which had some mildish s e x in it i think... but the title stuck with me.. eta - we never had ANY books "left out" :-( <em>edited by Sue62 on 26/01/2011</em>
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 26 January 2011 - 19:39
i do vividly remember when i was around age of 11-12-13 I read book called.. "[b'>We Children from the Zoo Station[/b'>"...if u want to show kids what happens when using drugs...it was the "hot" book that had every kid talking about back then...
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 26 January 2011 - 19:36
My mom didn't censor, and I remember being confused and a little haunted by the things I read. Shirley Jackson's The Lottery gave me nightmares for months after I read it in my babysitter's homework book. Oh my god....I thought I was the only one! It still gives me nightmares! hahahah! It did the same thing to me............after someone cut and pasted it on EW.................the grammar, the clunking prose..........the derivative plot line............the horror, the horror of it all:\::\::\:
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 26 January 2011 - 19:35
i don't think so. seems like my sis fell for a christmas sale special :( Ooooh, well hold on. If your sister hasn't read them then my comment below doesn't work.
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 26 January 2011 - 19:34
My parents never did, but even if they tried I would find the way to get the book I wanted...at the age of 12 I was pretty much reading books normally found in the "normal" library, apart from the children's section(pretty much read everything in the kid section I had interest in, small library in the province).
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 26 January 2011 - 19:34
I suppose the question to ask is how the books might affect her. Perhaps your niece has read other books of a similar genre and found them interesting and so your sister felt giving her these as a follow up would be OK. When I was about the same age I found a copy of 'The Happy Hooker' :\: under my mothers bed. I read it from cover to cover. It was clearly not suitable for a child of my age, but I found it super interesting. period. At around the same time I read Draculla (or something similar for children) from the school library and had nightmares for years. I loathe horror stories and my younger sister ate them up from a young age. Bottom line, perhaps trust that your sister knows her daughter best :)
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 26 January 2011 - 19:28
My mom didn't censor, and I remember being confused and a little haunted by the things I read. Shirley Jackson's The Lottery gave me nightmares for months after I read it in my babysitter's homework book. Oh my god....I thought I was the only one! It still gives me nightmares! hahahah!
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 26 January 2011 - 19:20
OMG I would never let a 12 year old read those books. DH didn't get through them because he found them too disturbing. Back to the original question though, I don't recall my parents censoring my reading and I read everything I could get my hands on. In hindsight, they probably censored what I had access to!
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 26 January 2011 - 19:10
My mom didn't censor, and I remember being confused and a little haunted by the things I read. Shirley Jackson's The Lottery gave me nightmares for months after I read it in my babysitter's homework book.
 
 

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